Goblin Slayer, Vol. 1

by Kumo Kagyu

  “B-but we weren’t—”

  “That, will be enough. Go, over there, okay?”

  Warrior looked like he was ready to argue some more, but Cleric took him by the sleeve and led him away.

  Witch gave Priestess a friendly look and said with a smile, “Let me, handle them, yes?”

  That was all it took. Cleric and Warrior said, “Let’s get out of here!” seemingly at the same time, and with an anxious look at Priestess, they left.

  Priestess sat in her chair, teacup in her hands. Witch slid into the chair next to her, almost pouring herself into the seat.

  “So, then. You are, the girl who tags along, with him, yes?”

  “Oh yes, ma’am, I am allowed the honor of accompanying him.” Priestess nodded firmly, settling her hands along with the teacup on her knees.

  “Accompany, eh?” Witch said meaningfully. Priestess gave her a puzzled look. Witch waved it away. “It must be, quite, difficult. He doesn’t notice much, does he…?”

  Priestess gave her the puzzled look again. “Um, I… He…”

  “Then again, it seems, you’re not much better.”

  Priestess made an apologetic gesture of embarrassment, and Witch looked at her fondly. She produced a long metal pipe and put some leaves into it with an elegant hand.

  “May I? …Inflammarae.” Without waiting for an answer, Witch tapped the pipe with her finger. A fragrant pink smoke soon drifted out of it.

  “I know. A silly waste of a word of power, isn’t it?” Witch gave a spontaneous laugh at the dumbfounded Priestess. “And you… How many miracles, can you use…?”

  “Um, I had two until recently; now I have four. I can only pray about three times, though…”

  “A Porcelain rank, with four miracles. My, you’re quite accomplished.”

  “Oh, th-thank you…” Priestess bowed her head, making her small body appear even smaller. Witch’s smile didn’t waver.

  “You know, he once, made a rather strange request, of me, too.”

  “What…?” Priestess suddenly glanced up at Witch’s face.

  Witch cocked her head alluringly. “I know, what you’re thinking,” she said teasingly.

  “N-no, I’m not…!”

  “He wanted a little help, with a scroll. So I know how, difficult it is, to…accompany him.”

  “No, I… He… Well, a little. He is Silver rank, after all.” She gave a slight, tired frown. When her head nodded, she saw the teacup still in her hands. Looking at the bottom of the cup through the translucent brown liquid, the words seemed to drop from her lips like water:

  “I-I can barely even keep up with him… And I-I’m nothing but trouble for him…”

  “And he’s so, good at what he does, isn’t he?” Witch breathed deeply and blew out a smoke ring. It floated lazily over to Priestess and dissolved against her cheek. She coughed violently. Witch apologized with a laugh.

  “That’s what, comes with years, and years, hunting goblins, without rest.” He’s leagues ahead of a Porcelain-ranked girl. Witch spun her pipe thoughtfully. “Goblin slaying certainly, does more good in the world, than someone who hunts bigger prey…but isn’t any good at it.” Her pipe indicated the adventurers milling about inside the Guild Hall.

  Somewhere in the hall, Spearman’s ears burned. Witch narrowed her eyes and looked out into the crowd.

  “That’s not to say, a fixation, on goblins is…entirely, healthy.”

  Priestess was silent.

  “In the Capital, for example, there’s no end of demons. There are monsters, everywhere, in this world.”

  Well, obviously. If there weren’t, adventurers would not have been so ubiquitous, no matter how many abandoned ruins there might be. But with threats of every type popping up in every place, the military alone couldn’t keep things under control. Their role was supposed to be dealing with neighboring countries, or Dark Gods or necromancers. Goblins were clearly a threat. But they weren’t the only one.

  “If you want to…help someone else. You can do that, even with, those two children from earlier, for example.”

  “That is—I could, but…” Priestess was growing agitated again. She leaned forward in her chair, but she couldn’t get any more words out. She trailed off with an incoherent mumble.

  “Hee-hee. There are, so many, paths, yes? And no, certainties. It’s difficult indeed…” She gave the huddling Priestess a pat on the head. “I’m sorry.” Priestess found the sweet-smelling smoke oddly calming.

  “At the least…if you’re going to, accompany him, let it be, your own decision.”

  If you’ll forgive my saying so.

  With that, Witch stood up with the same slinking motion as when she’d sat down.

  “Oh…”

  “I’ll, see you. I do believe you have, a date—pardon me, an adventure—with him.” And with a slight wave of her hand, she walked away, hips swaying, and vanished into the crowd.

  “My own decision…?”

  Alone again, Priestess gently worked the teacup around in her hands.

  The warmth she’d felt moments before was gone.

  As they entered the meeting room, the elf unslung her bow from her shoulder and asked, “So, are you really Silver rank?”

  The chairs in the room were covered in bronze-colored cloth and surrounded a table that had been polished to a shine. The shelves were lined with monster skulls and fangs, the trophies of past adventurers.

  “According to the Guild.” Goblin Slayer’s filthy armor and helmet hardly seemed to speak to his rank. He sat down heavily in a chair.

  “Frankly, I can’t quite believe it,” the elf said. She sat across from him with barely so much as a footfall and shook her head. “I mean, look at you. I’ve seen bugs that looked more intimidating.”

  “Don’t be stupid, long-ears!” The dwarf, happily seated cross-legged on the floor, gave a derisive laugh. Though humans tried to be considerate of other races, their chairs were too large for dwarves and rheas. “Before they’re polished, jewels and precious metals all look like rocks. No dwarf would judge a thing by its appearance alone.”

  “Oh, really?”

  “Yes, really! Leather armor prizes ease of movement. Mail would stop a dagger in the dark,” Dwarf Shaman pontificated, appraising Goblin Slayer with a wide look. Though most of his duties were pastoral, when it came to weapons and equipment, even a dwarf child knew more than many a long-lived shopkeeper. “…His helmet, the same. Sword and shield are small, easy to use in a tight space.”

  Goblin Slayer said nothing.

  The elf looked suspiciously at him.

  “He could at least get nicer-looking equipment.”

  “Clean items reek of metal,” Goblin Slayer said, a note of annoyance in his voice. Goblins have an excellent sense of smell.

  “Gods. You forest dwellers are so in love with your bows, you wouldn’t know a sword if it was stabbing you in the neck.”

  “Ergh…” The elf ground her teeth at the dwarf’s barb. He was obnoxious, but not wrong. Hunting came as naturally as breathing to the elves. This archer, for her part, did know something about suppressing smells. But she was young among the high elves and had left her home forest only recently. The several years she had spent so far in the wider world were the blink of an eye for an elf. She still lacked much experience.

  The dwarf stroked his beard with a self-satisfied look. “My life has been longer than your ears, girl. Why don’t you learn something from your venerable elder?”

  “Hmph.” But then the elf narrowed her eyes like a cat playing with a mouse. “I’m two thousand years old,” she said. “How old are you again?”

  The dwarf said nothing for a long moment. Then, reluctantly: “One hundred and seven.”

  “Oh my, oh my.” The elf snickered, and the dwarf stroked his beard dejectedly.

  They seemed set to go on that way forever. Just as Goblin Slayer was beginning to think it time for him to go back downstairs, Lizard Priest gave an agitated
wave of his hand.

  “The two of you, that is enough talk of your antiquity. You shame those of us who do not measure our lives in centuries or millennia.” He was standing against the wall. Lizardmen did not sit in human chairs, mainly, it seemed, because their tails got in the way.

  “Now, what do you want with me? A quest?” Goblin Slayer was to the point as ever.

  “Yes, that’s it,” the elf said. She looked grave. “The number of demons around the Capital has been growing, as I’m sure you know…”

  “No, I don’t.”

  “This can be traced back to the revival of the evil spirits. They want to use an army to destroy the world!”

  “I see.”

  “…And we were hoping, with your help…”

  “Find someone else,” he said bluntly. “If it isn’t goblins, then I don’t care.”

  The elf stiffened. “Do you understand what I’m saying?” she asked through gritted teeth, an undercurrent of anger in her voice. Her distinctive, leaf-shaped ears trembled. “An army of demons is coming. We’re talking about the fate of the world here!”

  “Yes, I heard you.”

  “Then why—?”

  “Before the world ends, the goblins will put an end to many more villages,” Goblin Slayer told her in his even, almost mechanical voice. As if to say, This is my everything, my truth. “We cannot ignore the goblins because the world is in danger.”

  “How can you—?!” The elf kicked her chair, her pale face gone red. She leaned over the table to grab hold of Goblin Slayer. It was the dwarf who stopped her.

  “Well now, hold on, long-ears, think about what you’re doing.”

  “What do you mean, dwarf?”

  “We all can’t just barge in here and order him to do something. A Platinum might get away with that, but not us.”

  “Ye—Well, yes, but…”

  “No buts, then. Settle down. Let’s have us a nice, civil chat.” He chided the elf with a wave of his small, rough hand.

  “…Fine,” she huffed grudgingly and settled back in her chair. Seeing this, and seeing that Goblin Slayer did not seem the least bit upset by the incident, the dwarf gave a satisfied laugh.

  “He may be young, but he is ‘Beard-cutter’ indeed! He’s as settled as stone!”

  “Then,” Lizard Priest said, “you will not object if I proceed to offer him this quest?”

  “Fine by me,” the dwarf said, running his hand through his beard. “Better this than a coward.”

  “Milord Goblin Slayer, please do not mistake our meaning. We have, in fact, come to ask you to help us slay the small devils.”

  “I see. So you are talking about goblins,” Goblin Slayer said. “In that case, I accept.”

  There was silence.

  “Where are they? How many?”

  High Elf Archer looked slightly aghast; Lizard Priest’s eyes widened. The dwarf laughed vigorously.

  “Well now, what’s the rush, boy? Don’t you want to hear the rest of Scaly’s story?”

  “Of course,” Goblin Slayer said with a firm nod. “Information is crucial. I need to know the size of the nest, whether there’s a shaman. What about hobs?”

  “I had expected you might ask first about remuneration,” Lizard Priest said, his tongue flicking out and touching his nose. It might have been like covering his face to hide his embarrassment. “…To begin with, as my humble companion said earlier, there is an army of demons readying to invade.”

  Silence.

  “One of the Demon Lords, heretofore sealed away, has awakened and now seeks to exterminate us…”

  “Not interested,” Goblin Slayer said. “The same thing happened ten years ago.”

  “Mm. I, too, thought it did not concern me.” The lizardman rolled his eyes around with a grimace.

  A variety of expressions played over the elf’s face as he spoke, mostly communicating I can’t believe this guy. She glowered at Goblin Slayer, but his face, and any expression, was hidden behind his helm.

  “But thereupon the chieftains of our tribes, all the kings of men, and the leaders of the elves and the dwarves held a great conference.”

  “Rheas aren’t much for combat, so we lack one—but otherwise, we are the representatives they’ve sent,” the dwarf said, pounding his belly. “We are adventurers, after all. We’ll do the world and our ranks some good as a part of the bargain!”

  “It looks like we’re headed for a huge battle.” Not that you care. The elf seemed to have given up.

  The dwarf continued, stroking his beard. “The problem, see, is those nasty little buggers have started growing more active in elf lands.”

  “Have any champions or lords emerged?” Goblin Slayer asked in a murmur.

  The dwarf replied, “Perhaps.”

  The elf perked up her long ears at the unfamiliar words. “Champions? Lords? What are those?”

  “Goblin heroes. Goblin kings. Think of them as Platinum-ranked goblins, in our terms.” Goblin Slayer folded his arms with a long “hmmm.” He seemed very serious. The elf thought he appeared to be calculating something. After a long pause, he said:

  “Never mind. Not enough information yet. Go on.”

  “Upon our investigation, we discovered a single, exceptionally large nest. But…well, politics, you know.”

  “The military won’t move against goblins. As ever.” Picking up the lizardman’s thought, Goblin Slayer seemed to ask and to affirm at the same time.

  “The human kings see us as allies, but not equals,” the elf said, her shoulders stiff. “If we tried to bring our soldiers into this, they would think we were plotting something.”

  “Hence, a party of adventurers… But we alone could hardly stand before the humans.”

  “So, Orcbolg… Out of the many, we have chosen you.”

  “Long-ears has a real way with words, doesn’t she?” the dwarf said with a dry laugh. The elf glared at him, but the look passed quickly.

  “Do you have a map?” Goblin Slayer asked calmly.

  “Here.” The lizardman took a scroll from his sleeve and handed it to Goblin Slayer. Goblin Slayer unrolled it with a rough hand. The map was drawn in dye on tree bark. The abstract yet precise style was typical of elvish cartography.

  It depicted a barren field with an ancient-looking building. Goblin Slayer pointed to the structure.

  “Ruins?”

  “Probably.”

  “Number?”

  “We only know the nest is very large.”

  “I’ll leave immediately. Pay me what you like.” Goblin Slayer nodded, rolled the map up with a casual motion, and stood forcefully. Stuffing the map away, he made a rapid check of his equipment and then began to stride toward the door.

  The elf grew agitated. “W-wait a second!” Her ears flicked, and as before, she kicked her chair and reached out her hand. “You sound like you’re going to go out there alone.”

  “I am.”

  The elf’s frown said, You’ve got to be kidding.

  The lizardman made an intrigued noise. “This is only my humble observation, but that esteemed acolyte of the Earth Mother is a party member of yours, is she not, milord Goblin Slayer?”

  “You’re going to take them on alone?” the elf said. “Are you insane?”

  Goblin Slayer stopped and exhaled slowly. “Yes.”

  And without another word, he walked out of the meeting room.

  Which question he had meant to answer, they could not tell.

  There was no way they could know.

  Inhale, exhale. He paused for only a second. Then Goblin Slayer walked briskly down the stairs and straight up to the front desk. The word he uttered was the same one that was always on his lips:

  “Goblins.”

  “So they did come to offer you a quest!” Guild Girl looked up brightly from her work.

  Spearman clucked his tongue nearby. He had just been trying to talk to Guild Girl.

  “What kind of quest is it? I’ll make a record.”<
br />
  “That lizardman will give you the details. I’m heading out. But I need money. Give me the reward from the last quest.”

  “Hmm… But you haven’t made your report yet… Well, I suppose for you we can make an exception, Mr. Goblin Slayer.” She added, “Just between you and me.” She signed a piece of paper and took a leather pouch out of a safe. A reward that might not be enough to compensate even a Porcelain-ranked party could be a pretty fair sum if you took on the entire adventure yourself. Goblin Slayer could support himself on goblin-quest pay precisely because he worked alone.

  He took the pile of dirty coins—painstakingly collected by the inhabitants of some impoverished village—and slid half into his purse.

  “Give the rest to her.”

  “Sure. W-wait, are you alone? Isn’t she—?”

  “I’m letting her rest.”

  That was all he said to the mystified Guild Girl before walking away.

  Spearman shot Goblin Slayer a dirty look as he walked by.

  “What does he think he’s on about, anyway?”

  But Goblin Slayer didn’t hear the sneering whisper. It didn’t matter. He had a great deal to think about.

  As he walked, he was mentally calculating his remaining supplies. He would have to buy rope, wedges, oil, antidotes, potions, and a number of other consumables. Once he got out of the Guild Hall, he would have to go somewhere to stock up on provisions as well. He needed his energy. Camping gear was no problem. As long as he was by himself, the most minimal comforts would suffice. Assuming the scroll was correct—

  “Mr. Goblin Slayer!”

  As he was about to walk out the door, he heard light footsteps hurrying after him. He snorted.

  “Um, that—that was a quest, right?”

  It was Priestess.

  It was not very far from her chair to the door, but the run seemed to have tired her. She was breathing hard and her face was red.

  “Yes,” he said. “Goblin slaying.”

  “That’s…what I thought.” Priestess gave a resigned smile. She could barely keep up with his unpredictable coming and going. Nonetheless, she held up her sounding staff excitedly. “Then just let me—”