Autumn's Awakening

by Irene Brand

  To avoid recalling the things he admired about Autumn, he deliberately thought of the things he resented about her. She’d caused him to lose his job at Indian Creek Farm and his good standing in the community, for the neighbors had jumped to the wrong conclusions about why Landon Weaver had fired him. Now it annoyed him even more to realize that the resentment he’d harbored for years disappeared when he had looked up and saw her kneeling beside him in the muddy pasture field. He had to avoid her. He wouldn’t trust Autumn with his heart again.

  Chapter Five

  “I‘m taking Dolly to Sunday school tomorrow morning,” Trina said on Saturday evening as they lingered at the supper table, sipping iced tea. “Want to come with us?”

  “No, thanks,” Autumn said, “someone has to be on call, and I shouldn’t take my beeper to church.”

  “Miss Olive goes to eight o’clock service at her church,” Trina continued, “and she says she’ll be home in time to answer the phone. If an emergency comes up, she can reach us by telephone at the church.”

  “What church? Where are you going?”

  “Community Chapel. It’s a new congregation on the east side of town. Sandy Simpson told me about it and invited us to attend. She said it’s mostly younger couples who’ve moved into the region without any family ties here. I think you should go.”

  Autumn took her iced tea and sauntered out on the back porch and sat in a rocking chair. Trina followed and leaned against the porch railing.

  “What’s bothering you, Autumn? You were animated and happy when we first got here. What’s wrong?”

  “The same old thing that’s plagued me since you’ve known me. I wonder sometimes how you ever became my friend. You’re an upbeat person, always with an optimistic outlook on life. We’ve been here four days, and my parents haven’t made any overtures. And I’ve hoped that Nathan would telephone or stop by. He could have come in to pay his bill, but instead we got a check in the mail today for that vet call.”

  “The Bible has a lot to say about forgiveness. Sometimes it’s the person who’s been wronged that has to make the first move.”

  “I asked Nathan to forgive me, and he brushed my apology aside. And making the first move was what got me in wrong with Nathan and my parents before.”

  “I know you think you’re the one who was wrong, but your parents are as much to blame as you are. They had no reason to disown you and forbid you to come home.”

  “I disappointed them.”

  “What children haven’t disappointed their parents in some way?” Trina argued. “Did you disappoint Nathan, too?”

  “That’s a different matter. I pursued him when he tried to get me to stop. Right from the first, I think the attraction was mostly on my side,” Autumn reminisced. “I was never sure what he thought about me. So don’t blame Nathan. He didn’t promise me anything, I expected too much. It’s little wonder he’s avoiding me.”

  Autumn drained the rest of her tea and stretched her long legs. “Yes, I’ll go to church with you in the morning,” she said. “As weak as my faith is, I need some spiritual nurturing.”

  Trina laid an arm over Autumn’s shoulders. “I’m sorry, Autumn. I know it’s hard to give up a dream. I’ve prayed that you’d get to meet Nathan again, but perhaps that was the wrong thing to ask for.”

  Autumn shook her head. “No. I’m thankful I know where he is and how he’s getting along. That’s important to me, no matter how our association turns out.”

  Community Chapel stood near a new housing development. Autumn thought the congregation was mostly drawn from that area, for she didn’t recognize anyone as they walked into the crowded foyer of the metal building. An overweight, blondish, brown-eyed man came forward to greet them with a cordial smile and a warm handshake.

  “I’m Elwood Donahue, pastor of the church. Welcome to our fellowship.” He asked for their names and Dolly’s age.

  “Our classes are about to begin.” He called a child, and Autumn recognized the girl as the one who’d brought the wounded goat to the clinic. “Debbie, take Dolly to class with you, please. Autumn, if you and Trina will come with me, I’ll show you to the Berean classroom and introduce you to the teacher. Our worship service is at eleven,” he said as he walked beside them down the hallway.

  “An interesting name for the class,” Trina said, chatting with the pastor in the easy way she had.

  “The members organized the class for the specific purpose of searching the Scriptures to learn the way to abundant Christian living. We were fortunate to find a good teacher for the group.”

  He paused at a door displaying a poster, on which a Scripture verse was printed in calligraphy.

  “The purpose of the class is indicated in this biblical passage,” Elwood said, reading the words, “‘Now the Bereans were of more noble character than the Thessalonians, for they received the message with great eagerness and examined the Scriptures every day to see if what Paul said was true.”’

  “This should be an interesting class,” Trina said. “I’m looking forward to it.”

  Elwood motioned them into a well-lit room where several people stood talking. “Let me have your attention, folks,” he said, “we have guests this morning. Make them welcome.” He tapped a man on the shoulder.

  “Nathan, Trina Jackson and Autumn Weaver have come to worship with us. They’ve taken over for Doc Wheeler while he’s abroad.” To Autumn and Trina, he explained, “Nathan will be your teacher.”

  Nathan wheeled around, and a sudden hush fell over the room as he and Autumn locked eyes, tense in their concentration on each other. Autumn was suddenly dizzy, and she closed her eyes. She’d never fainted in her life. These unexpected meetings with Nathan were tearing her apart. What if she dropped at Nathan’s feet?

  It hadn’t entered Nathan’s mind that he would see Autumn this morning. What had brought her to church today? To see him? His pulse quickened at the thought.

  But how could he teach a Bible lesson with her blue eyes watching his every move? After such a long time, why did the Weavers still intimidate him?

  A buzzer sounded in the hall, and Nathan shook his head as if to clear the fog away. “Won’t all of you be seated? It’s time to start. We’re pleased to have visitors this morning,” he added with an effort.

  Nathan’s face flushed when he took his place behind the podium. His fingers fumbled through the pages of his Bible.

  God, what can I do? Why are You subjecting me to this torture? I’m trying to serve You, to be a witness for You in this community. I can’t make a fool of myself before these people. Help me!

  Keenly aware of Nathan’s agitation, and knowing she was the cause of it, Autumn muttered, “I’m going to leave.”

  “No,” Trina whispered as she slid into a chair on the back row.

  “Did you know Nathan attended this church?” Autumn demanded accusingly.

  “No. No. I had no idea,” Trina protested. She clutched Autumn’s arm and pulled her into a chair. “If you leave, that would only make it worse. Tough it out.”

  Autumn did as Trina commanded, but she couldn’t remember when she’d spent a more miserable hour. Her body was rigid, and she stared at her hands where veins bulged from a racing pulse. And Nathan was so uncomfortable her heart ached for him. She sensed that ordinarily he would be an effective teacher, but he hardly looked up as he read the text almost word by word from the lesson book, often faltering on the words.

  Several people seated in front of her glanced at one another in amazement, affirming her belief that Nathan’s current behavior wasn’t natural. The lesson subject itself was enough to distress Nathan, as the Scriptural text was taken from the Model Prayer from the book of Luke. When he read the words, “Forgive us our sins, for we also forgive everyone who sins against us,” Nathan’s face paled even more. His voice was barely audible when he stumbled over the next words, “and lead us not into temptation.”

  Perspiration drenched his face when he finally sat down on
a chair behind the podium, and the president of the class stood up. Autumn recognized the woman as Sandy Simpson, the mother of the two children who owned Flossie, the pet goat.

  “We need to make final plans for our picnic next Saturday afternoon,” Sandy stated. “Nathan has graciously invited us to picnic in the hickory nut grove on his farm. Burgers and buns will be provided from our class treasury, but it’s up to us to bring the rest of the food. Plan to arrive early and stay until evening. We’ll eat around half-past four.”

  Sandy asked for a show of hands of those who planned to attend the picnic, suggested they should sign a sheet on the bulletin board indicating the food they’d contribute, then closed the session with a prayer. She made a beeline for Trina and Autumn as soon as she said, “Amen.”

  “You must come to the picnic Saturday,” Sandy said. “That will give us an opportunity to get better acquainted.” Looking at Autumn, she said, “Families are invited, too, so you can bring your daughter.”

  “Daughter?” Autumn looked from Sandy to Trina, wondering what the woman meant.

  “Dolly is your daughter, isn’t she?”

  “Of course not,” Autumn answered, more sharply than she should have.

  “Forgive me. I was misinformed.”

  “Dolly’s name is Rossini. She’s my niece,” Trina said.

  “Oh, I see,” Sandy said, with a skeptical look at Autumn. “You’ll come to the picnic?”

  Autumn didn’t answer, and Trina said, “We’ll try, if our work schedule isn’t too heavy. We’re finding out that we’ve taken up a time-consuming profession.”

  Dolly joined them in the foyer and they went into the sanctuary together. Autumn looked keenly at the child, wondering who’d started the rumor that Dolly was her daughter. The gray-eyed girl with brown hair didn’t resemble the Weavers at all, but with a start, Autumn realized that Dolly’s features were similar to Nathan’s.

  Just what I need, she thought morosely, to have such a story circulating. What had Nathan said that morning at the farm? “It took me months to convince people that you and I hadn’t been living together.”

  Would Dolly’s resemblance to Nathan cause him any embarrassment?

  During the informal service, Autumn momentarily forgot the miserable hour she’d spent in Nathan’s class. Elwood Donahue wasn’t a dynamic speaker, but his message on commitment was simple and easy to understand. Lacking a deep understanding of the Bible, Elwood’s straightforward explanation of the Scripture passage filled Autumn’s need to have the Gospel presented simply, and soothed her spirit temporarily.

  Nathan chose a pew behind Autumn, and he was vividly conscious of her presence. Why wouldn’t he be, with her red head catching the lights from the windows? Had Autumn deliberately come to church to embarrass him? Was she still pursuing him as she’d done when she was a girl?

  God, he thought during the pastoral prayer, why do You keep bringing us together? Has she changed from the willful, spoiled girl who almost ruined my life? Can I trust her again?

  He’d resolved to avoid Autumn, but how could he when they attended the same church? Was it unchristian of him to keep thinking of the past? Was he the one who’d been wrong to leave without giving her the opportunity to explain? But after Autumn had run out of the horse barn eight years ago, her father said, “Autumn is going to marry Dr. Lowe. Can’t you have the decency to leave her alone? When I told you to leave, I meant leave this area. You’ll be nothing but a thorn in the flesh of our whole family if you stay here. There’s already a lot of gossip about you and Autumn seeing each other while I’ve been gone.”

  Even though Autumn had protested that she’d never intended to marry Dr. Lowe, he’d wondered if she was telling the truth. But with Landon’s ultimatum, he had no choice except to leave. The Weavers had enough influence to ruin him in the community if they wanted to. When he’d left Greensboro, he supposed his brief association with Autumn was over. Now their paths had crossed again, Autumn looked as if she was unhappy. Had she really cared for him? Did she still care for him? How could he find out?

  As Nathan drove home from church, his emotions were tumultuous. One minute, the desire to be with Autumn was so overpowering that he almost returned to Greensboro to talk with her. The next minute he dreaded the thought of seeing her again, and actually considered offering the farm for sale and leaving the country.

  Sandy Simpson invited Dolly to spend the afternoon at her house to play with her daughter. As Autumn and Trina drove home alone, Autumn said, “I’ll have to find another place to worship.”

  “I don’t know why you should.”

  “It’s obvious that my presence made Nathan uncomfortable, and I was miserable.”

  “I agree it was an awkward moment, but you’ll both adjust to the situation. If not, I suppose you could skip Sunday school and come for the worship service. You need to hear the Word of God proclaimed from the pulpit.”

  “But if I do that, I might drive Nathan away. He made no effort to speak with me after the morning service. I saw him hurrying to his truck as if he wanted to avoid me.”

  “You’re creating problems when there aren’t any. Maybe he was in a hurry to check on his livestock.”

  As she turned into the driveway at the Wheeler home, Autumn cast an oblique glance at Trina. “What did you make of Sandy’s comment that Dolly is my daughter?”

  Trina replied with a bubbling laugh. “When I first saw Nathan, I knew he reminded me of someone, but I didn’t have a clue until Sandy came up with that remark.” She laughed again. “If I didn’t know Dolly got her physical features from her Italian father, and that my sister has never laid eyes on Nathan, I could believe that Dolly was his daughter.”

  “It’s a coincidence, but one that might become irritating. I imagine my reputation in Greensboro is already bad enough, because I made no secret of how much I liked Nathan. Since no one knew why I’d run away, people may have thought the worst. I suppose one more suspicion won’t matter to me, but I don’t want to tarnish Nathan’s image. He and I know very well that it was impossible for me to bear his child, but how can we prove it to others?”

  “You can’t. It would be helpful if Dolly looked like our side of the family, but unfortunately, she doesn’t. If I were you, I’d ignore the situation.”

  “I guess I’ll have to.”

  Chapter Six

  “No emergency calls.” Miss Olive met them at the door with the news and a wide grin. “Maybe this can really be a day of rest for you.”

  “Good!” Trina said. “That will give me time to unpack all of my clothes and sort out my laundry.”

  Autumn was too restless to stay in the house all afternoon, and she said to Trina, “If you’re going to be here in case an emergency does come up, do you mind if I leave? I want to drive around and see what’s changed in the county since I left.”

  “Go ahead,” Trina insisted.

  “I’ll keep my phone handy if you need me.”

  “Don’t leave until you’ve eaten,” Olive said. “I’ve got chicken and dumplings, and if I remember, you always liked them.”

  “Sure do. I have no intention of missing one of your meals unless I have to.”

  “Miss Olive, does Ray still keep his fishing rods in the garage?” Autumn asked as she got up from the table. “I haven’t gone fishing since Ray and I used to fish in Indian Creek. We were fishing the day I told him I wanted to be a veterinarian, and he encouraged me to pursue it as a career.”

  “He always said you had the makings of a vet,” Olive said. “I’m sure you’ll find what you want in the garage.”

  While Autumn picked up some fishing gear and stashed it in the truck, she recalled that Ray was one of the few people who knew how much she was interested in Nathan. They’d been fishing that day, too—one of those unhappy summer days when her parents had decided it was time she stopped working on the farm to follow more ladylike pursuits.

  Soon after Autumn had arrived home from her first year i
n college, Landon and Clara had gone away for two weeks, leaving Autumn and Summer in the care of their housekeeper, Mrs. Hayes. During that time, Nathan and Autumn had spent every day together, training Noel, working in the fields, bringing the young stock in from the pasture early in the morning.

  As long as Autumn was in by ten o’clock, when Mrs. Hayes wanted to go to bed, the housekeeper didn’t pay much attention to what she was doing. Autumn and Nathan often went fishing at a spot where Indian Creek flowed from the Weaver property onto Woodbeck Farm. Several times they drove in Nathan’s old truck to Jimmy’s Drive-in, a favorite stopping place for young people. Summer had warned Autumn that the neighbors were talking about that young Weaver girl who was crazy about one of Landon’s farmhands. Summer worried that their parents would find out about how much time Autumn was spending with Nathan, but Autumn was headstrong.

  The parental axe fell the day Landon and Clara returned. Landon chose a punishment that he knew would hurt Autumn the most. Early that morning when she started toward the barn to work with Noel, Landon stopped her on the back veranda.

  “I’ve hired Jeff Smith to train our colts, and I don’t want you interfering with his work. Jeff has had lots of experience on his father’s horse farm in Kentucky.”

  “But, Daddy,” Autumn had protested. “Noel is mine, and I’m getting along great with her. I think she’ll be ready for competition in the Ohio State Fair.”

  “That decision will be up to Jeff and me. Your mother says its time for you to stay out of the barns, and I agree with her.”