Shooting Blindly in the Dark

by Nicole Jackson

  I frowned up at Ronnie. He was a star basketball player, and all the bitches loved him. My school year had been so crazy. Yeah, I always had my share of attention from niggas, but their approach had drastically shifted. They were all trying to actually holler with some respect. And they were coming harder by the day, but I wasn’t seeing them.

  “No, boy,” I waved my head. “I already told you that.”

  “Come on, main,” he went on, as I strutted off. Yeah, I won’t lie. I was feeling myself. I had on a pair of True Religion jeans with a little short white collar blouse I had tied up, revealing a nice portion of my stomach, along with some cute Chanel scandals. It was completely against dress code, but I didn’t give a damn. As usual my hair was laid. I had gotten used to going to get my hair fixed, and I hated to admit it, but it made a difference.

  “Jasmine!” somebody honked their horn and shouted my name, as I stepped out of the school’s building. I glanced around, and noticed Kaydoa’s car.

  Shaking my head, I twisted over to him. “What are you doing here?”

  He smiled. “Don’t worry about all that. You just get your ass in this car.”

  “Whatever,” I giggled, as I traveled around to the passenger’s side, and hopped in. Slowly, Kaydoa was really showing me that he was going to do what the fuck he wanted. Farrah’s sister went to Wheatley with me, yet he was pulling up to my school like it was nothing.

  He pulled away from the curb, as I got adjusted in my seat.

  “So, what you and ole boy was talking about?”

  “Huh?” I glanced at him.

  “What was you and that lil’ nigga Ronnie talking about?”

  “Umm, nothing,” I swallowed. “But why you asked?”

  “Cause I seen yall talking, and I wanted to know.” He spat, bluntly.

  “Okaay, but why?”

  He licked his lips, as he causally rested his hand on the steering wheel. His Cartier watch was glistening. He had a thick ass sparkling chain around his neck. Those waves were spinning, and I found myself getting caught up. It should be against the law for a nigga to look that damn good. “Cause I wanna know if it’s something I gotta check.”

  My eyes wandered around the car. “Check what?”

  “Check you or that nigga.”

  “But why would you need to check either one of us?” I raised a brow.

  He smirked, “Act like you don’t know.”

  “I don’t,” I bucked my eyes.

  “Okay,” he nodded. “Just let me find out, and we gonna see what it is.”

  “Boy please,” I waved him off. “You talking crazy.”

  He cut his eyes at me, with a snarl. “Get fucked up.”

  “So, Kaydoa,” I turned in my seat to face him. “Are you telling me that I can’t see other niggas?”

  He shrugged. “You can do whatever you want, but I better not see you. Or hear about it. Or think about it, for that matter.”

  I giggled, “Are you serious?”

  “Hell yeah,” he nodded.

  “Yeah, okay.” I smiled, as he pulled up to the trap. Hurt, Trace, Toke, and Monay were all sitting on the porch. Me and Kaydoa hopped out of his car.

  “My bitch killing them hoes over there at Wheatley,” Monay grinned, as they all eyed me.

  “Fuck them hoes,” I waved them off.

  “Ya girl better sit her ass down somewhere,” Kaydoa spat. I checked him out, and realized that nigga really had a attitude. He sat on the steps of the porch with a mean mug on.

  “Aw daddy, you mad at me?” I playfully pouted, as I straddled him.

  “Go’on, main,” he turned his head, although he’d wrapped his arms tightly around my waist.

  “No,” I waved my head. “I can’t have daddy mad at me.”

  He smiled. “Man, get the fuck out of here.”

  “I’m for real,” I grinded into his lap. “Don’t be mad,” I poked out my bottom lip, and he kissed me. Soon, his tongue was down my throat, while he gripped my ass with both hands.

  “Uh,” Monay cleared her throat. “Did you nasty muthafuckas forget that we was sitting right here?”

  “Whatever,” I pulled away from him, only for him to pull me back in.

  With my lips on his, he uttered, “Don’t let somebody else’s words be the reason you pull back. You hear me?”

  “Okay,” I nodded, while rubbing his waves.

  For the remainder of the day we all kicked it, and I was with my boo. It was days like that that created my mindset. I was his woman. There was no Farrah or anything else. I know it sounded crazy considering the circumstances, but Kaydoa was my nigga. And nobody could tell me differently.

  Chapter 6

  Black Reign

  “Stacks on deck. Patron on ice. We can pop bottles all night. Baby you can have whatever you like…”

  “Aye!” I boasted as the deejay played my song.

  “Huh, what that nigga T.I. say?” Monay high-fived me.

  I was riding the beat right in front of Kaydoa. We had a section in club Roxy’s, and the turn up was real. I was in my own zone. I had allowed Monay to play dress up with me, and she had me wearing a fitted plum Tory Burch dress. That night she’d pushed me to the limit with the fashion. My ass was actually wearing heels! My little gold Christian Dior stilettos had my legs looking long, and made my ass seem even more pronounced.

  It was a celebration. Money was good. We were copping a few keys a week, and they couldn’t tell us nothing! My boo was in rare form, clowning in the club. Pulling out twenties, he watched me work my ass. Then with a grin on his face began tossing bills at me.

  “We make it rain on them niggas!” Monay bragged, encouraging Kaydoa to show out.

  The scene was crazy. There were cameras flashing like we were some fucking celebrities. All the thirsty bitches were begging to come party with us, but Monay wasn’t having it. She flashed Hurt’s money in those hoes’ faces, while they gawked from the outside of our section.

  “You broke hoes won’t be getting this money tonight.” Monay carried on, stunting on the haters with her Louie unit. Her and Lil’ Hurt both rocked Louis Vuitton everything, looking like hood royalty.

  “Kaydoa, what that nigga say?” Monay shouted. “Vacations in the tropics. Everybody know it aint tricking if you got it!”

  Kaydoa smoothly nodded, as he grabbed my hips, rapping the lyrics into my ear. “I’m talking big boy rides. And big boy ice. Let me put this big boy in yo life. Girl, you smell so fresh. And look so nice. Let me put this big boy in yo life…”

  Loving the moment, my head fell back, as he sucked on my neck. Soon, I was wrapped up in his arms, as we both rocked to the beat.

  “Say cheese, bitch,” Monay insisted as she snapped picture after picture. I was in heaven. I had my people with me, and it just felt like I was surrounded with genuine love.

  I posed for pictures with Kaydoa’s piece and chain around my neck. “That’s right! She repping for her nigga!” Monay’s ass pointed out. I swear her ass could be so damn embarrassing sometimes.

  “Yeah, that’s right!” Kaydoa slapped my ass hard.

  I wagged my tongue ass I bounced my ass just once for him.

  “Damn, Black Reign, where you be getting your hair? This shit looks good. Shit, I’m trying to have my hair brushing across my ass too,” Trace’s baby mama, Monkey, asked me over the loud music.

  I glanced at her monkey lookin’ ass, and smiled. “Monay ordered it online.”

  She was saying something else, but I didn’t hear it. My song had just came on. “Even though I’m not your man. You’re not my girl. I’ma call you my shawty.”

  Gazing at Kaydoa, he was staring back, getting my juices flowing. I strutted over to him, and shoved my tongue down his throat for the world to see. Fuck Farrah! And tell her Black Reign said that.

  Kaydoa

  I had never in my life had that much fun partying with a broad. Everything about Jasmine was so different. She was like…one of the boys, but with so
me fire ass pussy. I loved kicking it with her. The energy was just so high. I don’t know…I can’t explain it.

  It had been a month since I’d walked out of Farrah’s house. She blew me up daily, but I didn’t feel like listening to all that whining. She sent text after text, crying. My voicemail was filled to capacity with her messages. Eventually, I would have to face her, but it wasn’t gonna be that night.

  We were all fucked up, but still stumbled into a after-hours for a couple of hours. It was like twenty of us, and we shut the scene down. Everybody had their bitches on their arm. Trace had Monkey’s ugly ass. Hurt had Monay. And I had Jasmine.

  By the time we pulled up to the trap it was five in the morning. Most nights we slept there or we’d ease into Jasmine’s mama’s. All our friends had gone home, and the street was still. All the Hennessy I’d consumed had me wasted, and I really wasn’t giving a fuck. So, when me and Jasmine hopped out of my new whip, a new Cadillac, I pounced on her.

  Before she had a chance to protest I had her hemmed up on the hood of my car. “Wait, wait, baby what are you doing?” she breathed.

  “Shut up,” I commanded, as I yanked off those panties.

  “Kaydoa, wait!” her eyes bucked as I dropped my jeans and boxers.

  “What I say?” I whispered, as I grabbed those legs, and plunged into her.

  “Ugh!” she gasped.

  “Shut up,” I stuck my tongue into her mouth, as I slid in and out.

  “Umm,” she moaned, fucking me back.

  “Shit,” I got out, as she went buck wild on me. She was swaying those hips, gripping the shit out of my dick.

  “Uh, yeah,” she clenched her teeth, as I rested her back on the car.

  With my hands on the hood I put my back into it, wanting her to feel all of me. I beat it up, as her legs flailed around like she was drowning.

  “I’m cummmmmmming!” she released, causing me to bust too.

  “Got damn it,” I sung, as I pulled out of her.

  “I know,” she huffed, as I helped her off the hood. “Come on,” she pulled me towards the house. Her dress was still pulled up over her ass, but it was cool.

  Using her key, she let us into the house. My uncle was a functional smoker, so he always went to bed early to get up for work in the morning. So, she led me to the backroom where we sometimes slept. Taking control, she pushed me onto the bed, and hopped on top of me.

  As she straddled me, she just sat there with google eyes. “What?” I furrowed my brows.

  She waved her head, “I swear I love yo ass.”

  I didn’t know what to say, but she didn’t wait for a response. She gave me a trail of kisses, leading right down to my dick. In the entire time we’d been fucking around she’d never given me head, and I assumed she must’ve been bad at it.

  With precision, she licked the head of my piece, before gradually taking more into her mouth. Before long I was fucking her throat, and the sensation had never been so great.

  “Awww,” was all I could say, as I gripped her hair. “Shiiiiiiiit.”

  She continued to suck me off, going harder with each bob. My toes were curling, and I clenched my ass cheeks together. She had me wanting to scream out like a bitch! She was going hard in the paint, as I fucked her face. Then just when I thought that it could no better, my body shook, as I shot loads of cum down her throat. Like a fucking porno star, she swallowed it all.

  After that shit I was spent. Had me questioning the great wonders of the world like: Is Kobe gonna ever beat Jordan’s record? When a tree falls in a forest with nobody in it, does it still make a sound? Are they ever gonna find Waldo? And is this fucking love? They way she’d just sucked my dick…shit, it had to be.

  ******

  “I’m so damn ready to get out of here,” Jasmine breathed into the phone. She didn’t want to, but I made her ass go to school.

  I sucked my teeth, and yawned at the same time, “Chill out. The day just started.”

  I was tired as fuck. Dealing with Jasmine was cool, but neither of us had stable houses. I know the shit was ass backwards, because we was buying cars, and shit. I mean, my mama wasn’t letting Jasmine lay down at her crib, and Jasmine shared a room with two siblings. So, we never knew when we’d have privacy there. Most of the time we found ourselves sleeping at the trap, but that was always short lived. Not only were licks constantly coming through, but I wasn’t too comfortable shitting where I lay my head. That meant that when we did sleep there it was never longer than three or four hours.

  I was trying to keep my eyes open, while toying with a random piece of paper, as I sat on Uncle Ben’s porch, talking on the phone. The only way I could get her ass to stay at school all day was to sit around and give her little pep talks in between classes.

  “But do you know how much money I’m missing?” she pouted.

  “You’ll be alright,” I uttered, as my eyes ventured to the street. Farrah’s mama’s car had just pulled up. “But say, go ahead and handle ya business. I gotta handle this right quick.”

  “Alright,” she sighed. “I love you.”

  “Okay, bye,” I hung up the phone, as I eyed Farrah. She’d slid out of her mama’s Honda Accord, and was sauntering up to me.

  “Hey,” she smiled weakly.

  “What’s up?” I gazed up at her. The sunlight was hitting her face at the perfect angle. Her long hair was all silky and shit. She had some little shorts, displaying her fit thighs and legs. The halter she had on was tight, and revealed her flat stomach.

  She rubbed her forehead, seeming a bit nervous. “I came to talk to you.”

  I lifted my brows. “About what?”

  “About us,” she huffed in frustration.

  I pulled my fitted cap down lower, “So, talk.”

  She waved her head, and folded her arms. “Why,” she stared off in the distance. “Why are you so cold?”

  I slid my tongue across my teeth. “Cold?” I shook my head. “Nah, you got it wrong. Aint shit cold about me. Me and you was going through too many changes, and as a man I decided to distance myself.”

  “But why were we going through changes?” she opened her arms.

  “I don’t know,” I shrugged. “You tell me.”

  She scratched the back of her neck. “So, Black Reign didn’t have nothing to do with it?”

  “There you go,” I mumbled more to myself. For a second I thought about my situation…with her and Jasmine. Everybody knew what I was doing. There was no secret. So, why lie?

  “Yeah, there I go. You and her aint fucking around?” she asked.

  I paused for a brief second, and then I kept it real. “Yeah,” I nodded.

  Farrah stood there glaring at me. I really didn’t know what was next, because she’d tried putting her hands on me a few times. I wasn’t going for that, especially not at the place where I conducted business, and demanded respect. I was about to say something when her bottom lip began to tremble, and her eyes watered.

  “Kaydoa,” she sobbed. “Why you doing this to me? I…I…I love you.”

  “Mannn,” I waved my head. “Farrah, chill out.”

  “Chill out?” she blubbered. “You told me that you loved me. You said that no matter what you do with these hoes in the streets that you’d never turn your back on me. That’s what you said, Kaydoa. How…how could you let her come along and change all that?”

  “Farrah,” I licked my lips. “Stop all that crying, man.” I stood up, and pulled her into my arms.

  “It just hurts so badddd,” she bawled into my chest, fucking me up. I stood thinking about the voices I’d been pushing to the back of my mind. Like Ms. Brina and my mama. I thought about Jasmine. Honestly, I was confused, because I did have love for Farrah, and I only changed up on her once I started dealing with Jasmine.

  “Shhh,” I whispered. “Calm down.”

  “I…I…I just want it to go back to the way it was.” She glanced up at me with those beautiful eyes. “I need you, Kaydoa. I can be a better
girlfriend. I’ll do whatever it takes. I don’t care if I gotta suck your dick, until my mouth falls off. I just need us to get back tight.”

  I nodded my head, until I noticed Hurt standing in unc’s doorway, waving his head. “Don’t do it,” he mouthed.

  I closed my eyes, and allowed my conscience to make a decision for me.

  Black Reign

  “You going to the club tonight?”

  Sitting on Uncle Ben’s porch, I cut my eyes at Monay. “Fuck the club.”

  She tossed her weave out of her face. “Well excuse me.”

  “Aint shit at the club for me,” I mumbled, as I absently stared at the street.

  Monay pursed her lips. “Bitch, who are you fooling? You aint trying to go nowhere, cause you think Kaydoa won’t be there. That’s my cousin and all, but fuck him. He obviously aint thinking about you.”

  I frowned. “Kaydoa aint got shit to do with it.”

  “Yeah, right. Tell me anything,” she rolled her eyes.

  I sucked my teeth, as I scrolled through my phone. Just then I felt something clogged in my throat, and I was scared to talk because I refused to let the shit come out. Fucking tears. How the fuck did I end up here? I wasn’t supposed to be this sappy angry broad, who sat around worrying about a nigga.

  For over a week now, Kaydoa hadn’t shown his face. I came home from school, and he was nowhere to be found. I mean, the nigga hadn’t been on the blocks, and hadn’t even visited the trap. And everybody was playing crazy. Lil’ Hurt’s bitch ass was pretending not to know where he was, but I knew better.

  I’d seen the shit on Facebook for myself. Farrah was uploading post after post of her and Kaydoa. I won’t lie…the shit hurt more than I could’ve ever imagined. It made me feel like I was never shit to him. I couldn’t believe that I’d actually told his ass that I love him.

  “Yall wanna smoke one?” Lil’ Hurt questioned, as he stepped outside onto the porch.

  I sucked my teeth and rolled my eyes.

  “Yeah, baby, I do,” Monay spoke up, all up his ass as usual.

  “What about you, Black Reign?” he asked.

  “Shut the fuck up talking to me,” I grumbled.

  He frowned. “You still on that bullshit, huh?”