THE TROUBLE WITH KISSING YOU

by Gen Phan

  "McKenzie... what are you doing?" Maria was suddenly next to us.

  "Just coming to congratulate Mike," She turned and smiled at Maria. I saw Maria take a deep in through her nose. Her face fell. It contorted into a shape I'd never seen before.

  "McKenzie..." She sounded like she was on the verge of tears, "Please.... Don't do this."

  They exchanged a look. It was so loaded; it was so full of something. A story. What the fuck was going on?

  Then Maria looked up at me. She looked desperate. Eyes pleading. "Mike, I can explain..." Her voice broke and tears welled up in her eyes.

  Explain what? What the fuck was going on?

  "Mike Matthews," A hand that belonged to a man came into focus. The scout. "I'm Brain Evans and I must say, I was very impressed with your playing today."

  I was in autopilot. I took his hand and shook it, and as I did, Maria dragged McKenzie off and they both disappeared behind the clubhouse.

  Maria

  It was as if the world shook. Like a meteorite had crashed and exploded by my feet. The smell was so intense. It overpowered everything. Then there were the looks. Like playing a ping-pong match. I looked at Maria, she looked at me. I looked at Mike, he looked from Maria and then back to me. It felt like I was trapped in a silent movie, because no one spoke for a few of the most tense moments I've ever experienced.

  Mikes gaze finally came to rest on me, and I felt compelled to say it. It was bound to get out now anyway, the cat had already half-way clawed itself out the bag and it was ready to leap free. My stomach tightened. There was a faint buzzing sound in my ears. Mouth as dry as a desert.

  "I... I can explain." There was no taking it back now.

  Mikes face contorted into total and utter confusion, "Explain wha-" Suddenly the scout walked in front of us and started to shake Mike by the hand. I grabbed Maria and ran, dragging her behind the clubhouse as fast as I could. I didn't know what the hell I was going to do with her. Or, at this stage, what I was capable of doing to her.

  "Why the fuck did you do that?" I pushed her into the wall. Hard. I was furious. All I could see was red. "Why? Fucking tell me, why?" The smile that she'd had on her face faded.

  "How did you even know...." Memories of the pen on the floor, the sense that someone had been at my desk flooded my mind. "It was you. You came into my room and you went through my computer!"

  Suddenly she looked vaguely amused again and I wanted to slap that look right off her face. "You should really think about the benefits of password protection."

  I lost it. I took her by the shoulder and slammed her into the wall even more. "Why? Why?" I wailed, fighting back the tears of rage. "I mean we were just about to... he was going to....I can't believe you did this."

  "Well I can't believe you did what you did either. Talk about pot calling kettle black sister. You lied to him. Made up all that bullshit about your parents being divorced. Pretended to be someone you weren't, "mystery mint kisser" She gestured inverted commas, "That's not ever a good pseudonym...Please, you should be the one who's ashamed of yourself!" She spat the words out with such contempt, and they did the trick. They flew through the air and like a million sharp needles, and when they hit me, it was excruciating.

  She was right. As much as I hated her guts right now. As much as I wished she hadn't been born she was right. And how the fuck did I expect this to never come out. Secrets always have a way of coming out. And secrets always destroy. Secrets destroy everything.

  "Maria....?" I looked up. Mike walked around the corner. His face was ashen white. I'd never seen him look like that. Pale. Sick. Confused.

  "Please tell me it's not true?" He sounded desperate. "Please..."

  We started the ping-pong tournament again. He glanced from McKenzie to me, and with each look he started to look more and more desperate.

  "It was you, wasn't it?" He finally stopped looking and pointed at McKenzie. "Because my best friend would never lie to me like that, right? She would never lie to my face every minute of everyday for weeks, right? It has to be you. You're the mystery mint kisser. McKenzie?" He stared at her intensely; it looked like he was willing her to say the words. For one tiny second, it looked like the situation had finally turned Mckenzie vaguely human, and I saw a glint of what I thought was something that might resemble regret flash in her eyes.

  I still hated her. I would never forgive her for this. And Mike was probably going to never forgive me for this either. McKenzie shook her head slowly.

  "No." She said, breaking free from my grip.

  The world shook and it also shattered. I saw it happen before my eyes. Every hope I had ever had for Mike and I. Every dream and fantasy... exploded into fragments.

  Mike looked at me in utter shock. "You lied to me?"

  All I could manage was a small nod.

  "You lied to me about your parents getting divorced, when you knew what I was going through?"

  I managed another small nod.

  "Everyday, when you were "helping" me find her, it was you this whole time?"

  "Yes." I couldn't hold them back any longer. The tears started to well up in my eyes.

  Mike shook his head. "It can't be. I thought, but, you would never lied to me. We've always told each other the truth. Everything. You wouldn't do that to me.... Would you?"

  "I'm sorry." My words were so faint that I barely heard them myself. Mike was still shaking his head as if he still couldn't believe it. And then without warning, he moved towards me and grabbed me.

  He kissed me. It was hard and frantic, angry even. And then... it slowed down. His hand slipped round to the small of my back, his fingers crept up under my shirt and his fingertips caressed my naked skin. I shivered in his arms as he pulled me closer. I let out a breathy moan as the kiss intensified and deepened. And then, in an instant, it was over.

  Mike looked at me and stumbled backwards. He looked like he was backing away from me, like I was contagious.

  "It was you." He shook his head and looked at me as if he was disguised.

  "Mike, wait." I started to panic and walked towards his, but he held his hand up.

  "Don't fucking talk to me again. Just don't."

  And with that, he turned and started running off. My knees officially collapsed under me and I melted to the ground.

  Mike

  I almost hadn't known what was going on when the scout stepped in front of me. Was McKenzie the mystery mint kisser? Really? I didn't believe it at all. There was no way. I didn't even like McKenzie. I wasn't attracted to her, not like Maria. That kiss had been full of passion; McKenzie and I would never share a kiss like that. So what the hell was going on?

  I listened to the scout in a kind of daze, my mind kept wondering off to what had just happened. But I wasn't so far gone that I didn't hear the offer. He offered me a full scholarship to a top college, as well as a place, effectively immediately if I liked at a school out of state that had the best tennis team and coaching. Where I could get that extra time and practice. That was totally out of the question though, there was no way I was going to leave half way through the year and go to another school, especially because of Maria. I was sure I could convince her to come to the college with me though. She was super smart, and her parents could afford it.

  I was excited to tell Maria, and to figure out what McKenzie was up to. She was clearly pulling one of her now infamous "McKenzie" moves. Maybe she was friends with the real mystery mint kisser and had overheard something? That was the only explanation for this. In fact, I was sure that McKenzie was just being a cruel, bitch again and had probably gotten hold of some information she shouldn't have. I wasn't too fazed, besides it looked like Maria was going to sort her out anyway.

  After taking the coaches number and promising to call him this week, I ran off to see her. But instead of seeing Maria, I ran slap bang, literally, into my father. I hadn't seen him since he had supposedly moved out of the house, nor had I seen or spoken to him since I learnt he was nothing more t
han a liar and a cheat. He raised his hand to shake mine, which was so odd and formal in itself, and that was when I noticed it.

  He'd taken off his wedding ring. I started at his finger. A prominent white strip was all that remained. All that remained of a whole life that he had live for almost two decades. A life that consisted of a wife, a house a child. Memories, family holidays, good times. They had all been removed and tossed away. Maybe he'd pawned the ring. Did mom and I mean so little to him that he could remove his ring so quickly, erasing the life he had once had? Because that was what that ring stood for. Not just a promise to mom, which he'd broken in the worst way possible, but a promise to be a family. Till death do us all part.

  I grabbed his hand and raised it to my face. I wanted to look closer, in case my eyes were deceiving me. But they weren't. No ring.

  "You lying bastard." I looked up and my dad and felt like spitting at him. I'd never spoken to him like that before, and would have never dreamt of it. But right now I had no respect for this man. Once my idol, he had fallen so far in my estimation right now. He was a liar and a cheat. Simple as that. And it was unforgivable.

  "Mike, please can we talk." He sounded desperate and tried to grab hold of me.

  "I don't talk to liars. I have nothing to say to you. Ever again." I ran off. I hated him right now. And I couldn't wait to get to Maria. To finish what we'd started. To pick up where we'd left off. To celebrate my win, but most of all, retreat to my safe place where I could tell her about all this and she would listen, and be there for me. Like she always had been.

  But as I got closer....

  "I can't believe you did this."

  It was Maria's voice. Obviously I'd walked in on her reprimanding Mckenzie. I stopped to listen. I was dying to hear Maria put her in her place. I smiled instantly in anticipation of the moment. God knows McKenzie deserved it.

  "Well I can't believe you did what you did either. Talk about pot calling kettle black sister. You lied to him. Made up all that bullshit about your parents being divorced. Pretended to be someone you weren't, mystery mint kisser. That's not ever a good pseudonym...Please, you should be the one who's ashamed of yourself!"

  My heart sort of stopped. It felt like invisible hands reached down into my body and stole my breath. What the fuck was McKenzie saying? I didn't understand. That Maria was the mystery mint kisser. That would be impossible though, because Maria would never lie to me like that. Ever.

  I inched around the wall, feeling a little like a zombie. Not really alive, not dead either.

  "You lied to me?" I asked Maria. She looked up at me and nodded.

  No, this was not computing. I did not understand. Maria would never do that to me. She would never lie about being someone else, and she would definitely not make up a bull shit story about her parents getting divorced too. Pretending to know what I was going through. That thought hurt me almost as much as her lying about kissing me.

  "You lied to me about your parents getting divorced, when you knew what I was going through?"

  But she nodded again.

  "So everyday, when you were "helping" me find her, it was you this whole time?"

  I looked at her. All I felt was desperation. I needed her to say NO. I needed her to say 'no' so badly right now. It was as if my life depended on it. Well, my heart did.

  "Yes." Her voice was soft and reserved and tears began to well up in her eyes.

  I shook my head, I still refused to believe this. "It can't be. I thought, but, you would never lied to me. We've always told each other the truth. Everything. You wouldn't do that to me.... Would you?"

  "I'm sorry." Her words were so faint that I barely heard them.

  But... surly.... There was only one way to definitively prove that Maria was the mystery mint kisser. So I moved towards her and kissed her. She kissed me back and within seconds, I was transported back onto the dance floor that night. She didn't taste the same, but she felt the same. She felt even better now. I kissed her hard, but soon slowed down as the kiss pulled me in and I felt myself getting lost in it. I slipped my hand around to the small of her back. Her skin felt so soft. I needed her so badly right now.

  I pulled her closer and she moaned. This was the kind of kiss you could get lost in. The kind that made you foget everything. It was like a drug, and I was just about to forgive Maria of everything she had done. To take her back to my room and do everything I could to her... with her. I'd never wanted anyone more in that moment. I was just about to let go and succumb completely when a moment of sanity prevailed and broke through the thick haze.

  She'd lied to me. For weeks.

  My heart broke, right there and then. I let go of her and stepped back. I met Maria's eyes. She looked desperate.

  "Mike, wait." She started walking towards me, but I didn't want her anywhere near me. I didn't want to see her now.

  "Don't fucking talk to me again. Just don't." I turned and ran and had no idea where I was going to go.

  Maria

  I watched as Mike disappeared. I could hear myself breathing fast, my chest rising and falling as if I had just run a marathon. I didn't know what to do, so I just stared straight ahead of me, trying to make sense of what had just happened.

  Then I heard it. A crunch of a twig. A shuffle. I swung around and there she was. My "sister". So called sister. A strange, bitch that was related to me, shared the same womb with me once and now slept under the same roof. She had just destroyed everything. Not entirely true, my lies had laid the ground work for her to move in and put the cherry on top. And what a cherry it was. She had done her worst this time, and there was no forgiving her, ever...

  "Are you happy now?" I moved towards her. My word shooting from my mouth like army ammunition. "Do you fucking know what you've done."

  McKenzie opened her mouth as if she was going to say something. But she didn't. She looked at me as if she was... was...

  Was she even capable of human feelings like remorse?

  "HUH?" I screamed at her.

  I didn't care where we were, or who could hear. I could feel something slipping inside me. An emotional avalanche crashing down around me and burying me under it; all the anger, the pent up frustration and the hope from ten years of pinning for Mike started to smother me. All the anger for Mckenzie, the fights, the bitchy comments. It all started to crush down on me.

  I don't know what happened really, but without warning I was on her. I slapped at her with all my strength and somewhere between the slapping sounds, her shrieks and my heavy breathing I could hear that I was crying. It wasn't just about this moment right here. This was for the years, and years of taunting, abuse and bitchness I had suffered at her cruel hands.

  "I hate you!" I heard myself wail. "I hate you!"

  I felt my hair being yanked back as she grabbed at me, and I at her. I heard something rip, it might have been a shirt, who knew. We became a writing mess of hair and arms. I no longer knew where I ended, and she began.

  "What is going on here?" I heard a voice behind us but I didn't look up. Suddenly I felt two big arms come around me and we were forcibly pulled apart. Through my hair and tears I saw Mr. Jenkins pulling a kicking McKenzie away. I looked down at the hands around my waist, they belonged to an older man. A teacher.

  A crowd had gathered around us and I wondered how long they'd been watching us? I'd lost all sense of time, and sanity. It was such a moment of madness that it was hard to come to terms with the fact that other people even existed outside of Mckenzie and I.

  "I'm going to get you." I screamed back at my twin as I tried to break free of this man's hands. But he was too strong. My arms and legs kicked and flapped. But I couldn't move. And then Mckenzie and I were being dragged into the empty club house.

  "There's nothing to see here!" Mr. Jenkins was shouting at the japing, smirking crowd of people that had gathered. Watching the morbid car crash on the side of the road. The freak show. The door slammed behind us and Mckenzie and I came face to face with the two teac
hers.

  "What is going on!" Mr. Marais, or biology teacher, barked at us. He wiped a good dollop of sweat off his forehead. It looked like he'd had to struggled to keep us apart. This was probably his only work out, judging by the size of him. I folded my arms and said nothing. McKenzie too.

  "What is going on you two?" He barked louder this time looking from McKenzie to me and back again.

  Mr. Jenkins stepped forward now. Usually he intimidated me, but not today. Jaws wouldn't frighten me right now. My seething rage drowned out any other emotion that I could have possibly felt in this moment.

  "If you do not tell us what is going on, you are both getting suspended for the next week." He folded his arms now, obviously trying to look more intimidating than usual. I turned back to McKenzie and glared at her.

  "Bitch." I hissed under my breath.

  "McKenzie Glover." Mr. Jenkins raised his voice loudly.

  "Bitch." McKenzie spat it right back at me with such contempt in her eyes. God, I hated her.

  "That's it. You're both suspended immediately and I'm calling you mother to fetch you right now!"

  **

  Ten minutes later we were both squashed together uncomfortably in the back of my fathers car. Sports cars were not good if you wanted space from the person you hated most in the world.

  My mother had been unavailable, so my father had come to fetch us. We all drove in absolute silence and I could feel the tension in the car mounting by the second. My father looked like he was going to explode, he kept looking back in the rearview mirror and glaring at the two of us. I wished I knew what he was thinking. I was more upset that I may have disappointed him, I didn't give a damn that McKenzie and I had just caused a public scene at school that would probably be talked about for the rest of the year.

  My father skidded into the driveway and then turned to both of us.

  "Inside. Now! Both of you. I have something I want to say." He rushed us into the lounge, or should I say, one of the many lounges in the house and closed the door behind him.