After Forever, A Whisper of Scandal Novel

by Julie Johnstone

  Though it was only a few short steps to the top of the hill that led to the water, it might as well have been a thousand miles. Each second stole a breath, a heartbeat, and a sliver of composure until he crested the hill and raced toward the landing where Maggie would have gone. The sun hit him full-on in the face, making him squint and his eyes water. He blinked rapidly, his vision suddenly blurry. A fallen tree branch loomed in front of him, and he jumped over it, barely keeping his balance as he ran down the hill.

  The sunlight seemed suddenly brighter. Glaring. And impossible to see in. He wiped his eyes with the back of his hand and could just make out a lady diving head-first into the water. Was that a child sitting at the end of the wooden landing? He forced his eyes open wider. A small dark-haired girl―not his Maggie. Her sobs filled the air and joined the squawk of the birds flying above her.

  “Get ahold of yourself,” he muttered, his footsteps pounding into the dirt and grass and then against the wood of the landing. “Stay put,” he ordered the child before he scanned the surface of the murky water and dove in the moment he located the ripple that indicated movement under the surface.

  Blackness surrounded him. Coolness enveloped him. Slimy fingers of weeds caressed his ankles and tangled around his arms. In the pitch darkness of his personal hell, a body bumped against his. He grasped the body, and as his arms encircled the woman’s waist, he grazed another set of limbs. Small ones. Kicking and flailing ones.

  Maggie.

  Blood surged through his veins, making them pulse with the flow. He kicked with all his might and dragged the three of them up through the darkness to the light. To air.

  “Papa!” his daughter cried out.

  The sweet sound nearly took all the strength from him. “Maggie,” he croaked, his throat clogged with emotion. He hugged her closer, realizing too late that when he gripped her to him he brought the lady against him, as well.

  The swell of the woman’s breast lay on the top of his hand.

  A sharp gasp came from her.

  “Let me go,” she insisted. “I’m perfectly capable of swimming to the landing.”

  He released her at once and concentrated on getting Maggie to dry land. Once there, he gripped the wooden stairs with one hand and Maggie with the other. He pressed kisses all over his daughter’s cheeks and glanced her over. He’d scold her later.

  “Papa, dolly is getting wet.” Maggie held up her doll.

  “Did you jump in the river to save dolly?”

  The child nodded. “She can’t swim.”

  “Neither can you,” he said in a stern voice.

  “That might be something you want to correct,” the lady said.

  Nash glanced in the direction of the sweet voice and gaped at the woman shoving her hair out of her face. He was not a man to be easily astonished, but he could hardly believe his eyes. And his eyes were ones that had seen a lot in his life, but he would have bet his fortune that he’d never be alone with Julianna again. Yet here he was. And so was she.

  A giggle erupted beside him, and then above him from the landing, a tiny voice said, “Mother, I want to swim.” Ah, yes. They were not alone.

  “Stay put, Liza,” Julianna commanded in a firm but kind tone.

  The girl’s lips formed an instant pout, but she plopped onto the deck and didn’t move.

  “I’m impressed,” he said as he moved Maggie into place to climb the stairs.

  Julianna offered a playful smile. “It must not take much to impress you.”

  His gaze strayed to the swell of flesh rising above her clinging wet gown. Her skin, smooth and creamy, glistened in the sunlight with the tiny droplets of water upon her. He had the sudden urge to lick each bead of water off her chest. Forcing himself to look up, he said, “Any woman who will jump into a river to save a child would impress me.”

  She furrowed her brow. “Any woman who saw a child drowning in a river and didn’t jump in to save her is a woman without a heart. So, you see, there is really no need to be impressed.”

  “You don’t comprehend some of the women I know,” he said.

  She held his gaze and then swallowed audibly. “Ah, I see who you mean. That was foolish of me.”

  “No matter.” Focusing on his daughter, he hoisted her to the steps and commanded her to climb. As she did, he motioned to Julianna. “Let me help you up the rungs.”

  “I can manage,” she replied with underlying tartness and swam in front of him to grasp the ladder.

  As she struggled to climb, he forced himself not to assist her. She was clearly a lady who wanted to do things on her own, and his view of her backside, with her dress plastered to her perfect round bottom, suited him just fine.

  With a groan, she jerked herself up a step. Her soaked skirts dripped rivulets of water on his face. He turned his head to avoid being sprayed in the eyes, and as he did, her yelp filled the air as she fell backward and straight into him with a thud. The impact forced his breath from his lungs, and once again, he plunged under water, but this time without fear.

  Resurfacing immediately, he took one look at Julianna frowning and struggling to push her hair out of her face again, and he tried not to laugh. It was impossible. A chuckle rumbled from him. Julianna whipped her hair back and glared, not a stern look, but rather comical. Above them, just over the edge of the landing, his daughter, and he assumed Julianna’s daughter, peered at them and started giggling. Within seconds, Julianna had joined in. The sweet, cheerful sound surrounded him and filled him with a warm sensation.

  Once the laughter died down, Julianna glanced at him from under her thick, dark lashes. “I think I need your help getting out of the water. I failed to anticipate the weight of my water-drenched skirts.”

  “I’d be happy to help you.” It was a struggle to keep his voice neutral when he felt anything but. His pulse hammered in his ears, and this time, it had nothing to do with fear and everything to do with desire. Even soaking wet, Julianna was the most exquisite woman he’d ever seen. Her eyes held a mixture of sorrow and kindness he found beguiling.

  “Perhaps you could just hoist me a bit?” she asked, moving in front of him once again.

  He wanted to tell her he’d hoist her anytime she liked, but she was not the sort of woman one said such things to. She was a true lady. The kind he’d like to marry in order to ensure Maggie had every opportunity she deserved to be part of Society. He slid his hands around Julianna’s tiny waist. His fingers curled immediately against her curves and over the front of her flat stomach.

  The contact sent a jolt through him, amplified by the low hiss of her breath. Her back arched slightly, and her muscles jumped underneath his fingertips, but she did not pull away. He’d been with many women in his lifetime, some of them ladies and some of them far from it, but he’d never cared what any of them thought of him. Not really. Not even Lavinia when she’d turned down his marriage proposal, given only for the sake of their daughter. His concern for Lavinia’s disdain over his not being a lord extended so far as to how it would affect Maggie. He’d mingled with enough lords and bedded enough ladies to know that the ton was, for the most part, made up of people too concerned with their status and not worried enough with the feelings of others.

  But Lady Barrows was different. He didn’t know why he knew this, but deep in his gut he felt it, and that instinct had never steered him wrong. For the first time in his life, he wanted someone to see beyond his class and to the man he was. Really was. He was a damn fool to want that from this woman who was married to a ghost, but the desire was there all the same.

  He leaned toward her until his lips almost touched her ear and her scent―fresh river water overlaying the underlying floral smell of lavender―filled his nose. “I’m going to lift you now.” Damnation, but his voice was husky. Too husky. He cleared his throat. “Is that all right?”

  She nodded but didn’t say a word. He raised her as she struggled up the steps, the water from her skirts dripping in a steady pattern on his face.
Wanting to be a gentleman for her and do what he knew she would want, he fastened his eyes on her slender ankles and decided then and there he’d woefully neglected women’s ankles in his lifetime. Hers were lovely. If by some grace of fate he ever had the chance to caress those ankles, he would do so worshipfully.

  Once she was up the last step and on the landing, he quickly climbed the rungs and, with his feet planted firmly back on dry ground, scooped his daughter into his arms and gave her a kiss on her forehead, cheek, and nose, along with a big hug. “Poppet, don’t ever go in the water after your dolly again. I can buy a million dolls, but I cannot buy another you.”

  His voice caught on the last word as he set her down and watched her take the other girl’s hand and lead her to sit in a patch of sun. The girls settled onto the landing, heads close together and conspiratorial whispers coming from their direction. His heart felt as if someone had ripped it out and then shoved it haphazardly back into his chest. Thank God, Julianna had been here to dive in for Maggie. If not… The unfinished thought made him tremor. He felt indebted to her. First she’d tried to defend him in the library, and then she’d saved his daughter. The woman was exceptional.

  A hand came to his arm. Surprised, he glanced toward Julianna.

  “You’re shaking,” she murmured.

  “Am I?”

  She nodded as she squeezed his arm and then stepped away from him, putting a respectable distance between them. Motioning toward the girls, she said, “Your daughter is perfectly fine.”

  He tried to make his body still, but he could not. The idea of losing Maggie terrified him. Running a hand through his dripping wet hair, he inhaled a shaky breath and finally got himself under control. He met Julianna’s worried gaze and smiled. Was she worried for him? That was a first. No, wait. It was a second. She had been anxious for him that night at the ball, as well. Every part of him wanted to learn more about this delicate creature standing before him. Like how she happened to be here. He’d bet his fortune she’d never willingly admit her secrets.

  “I suppose you’re here to seduce me,” he said, forcing a serious, contemplative tone.

  Her lovely mouth parted. “What?”

  “I have to tell you, I’m not one to be easily seduced.” He dropped his voice low, teasing. “But for you I’ll make an exception.”

  “How very generous of you,” she replied with a smirk, high color rising on her sculpted cheekbones.

  He purposely yanked his clothes into a semblance of order before catching her gaze once again. He stilled his hands and narrowed his gaze. “Should I be concerned about your dogged pursuing of me? You’re not cracked are you?”

  “I’m beginning to wonder,” she grumbled, forcing him to press his lips together to keep from smiling.

  She shoved her hair over her shoulders. “Rest assured I’m not doggedly pursuing you.”

  “How disappointing.” He allowed the truth of his feelings to shimmer at the surface for a moment before lightening his tone. “And here I thought I must have so intrigued you at the ball that you investigated me, learned where I had my country home, and made your way here with your daughter all in the hope of encountering me and trying to talk me into marrying you.”

  The color on her cheeks deepened and spread, rather alluringly, to her chest. Her gaze darted away for a moment before settling back on him. “Actually, I did come here in search of you, though not with marriage in mind.”

  He lifted his brows slowly, even as his blood raced through his veins. He really should not keep teasing her, but it was impossible to resist. “I like how you think, Lady Barrows.”

  Her brows furrowed together before her eyes widened. “I’m not thinking of you like that at all. I don’t even see you in that way. More like a dog in need of training.”

  “Your flattery is rather lethal,” he chided playfully, enjoying the rapid reddening of her lovely skin.

  She pressed her hands to her cheeks while a smile played at her lips. “You’re muddling my thoughts.”

  “Dogs can have that effect.”

  “Do be serious.”

  “Do you want me to be a good boy and sit?”

  “No, roll over and play dead,” she said straight-faced.

  He couldn’t stop the bark of laughter that escaped him.

  She grinned in return. “What I meant to say before you befuddled me was, I did come here to find you, but―”

  “Ah, ah, ah.” He wiggled his finger at her. “I find when women insert the word but into their sentences nothing pleasant follows for the man.”

  “Do try and listen.”

  “I am.” His repressed laughter vibrated his words.

  “Are you always this way?” she asked with a laugh.

  “What way is that?” He loved how her eyes twinkled when she smiled.

  “Do you always show so much affection to your daughter and banter so lightheartedly with ladies you barely know?”

  He quirked his mouth as if he were lost temporarily in deep thought. “I do always show an enormous amount of affection to my daughter. I grew up without the benefit of knowing whether my mother or father loved me, and I never want my daughter to doubt my love. And as for bantering with ladies I don’t know, I know you.” That husky sound had crept back into his tone. Something about this woman did that to him.

  Her eyes grew wide so that he could see that gold flecked the green.

  “What is it you think you know about me, Mr. Wolverton?”

  “Call me Nash.” He wanted to hear his name from her lips. He couldn’t say precisely why―it was another gut desire―and one he’d never experienced.

  She shook her head. “I couldn’t possibly.”

  “You could possibly.” He leaned close as if to whisper a secret. “I’ve just given you leave to do so.”

  “It’s not proper,” she said, her pink tongue darting out to lick her full lips.

  He had a brief image of taking her mouth with his and slipping his tongue inside her to taste her. He had no doubt she’d be sweeter than honey. “Are you always proper, Julianna?”

  Her hand fluttered to her neck. “Yes. I’m rather boring that way. Are you always this improper?”

  “I’m afraid so. I’m rather exciting that way.” He slid one finger down her bare, silken arm from the crook of her elbow all the way to her small hand. Taking her slender, cool fingertips in his he lifted them to his lips, telling himself he shouldn’t and knowing he damn well would anyway. He pressed a kiss to the edge of her fingers, the contact of his lips to her flesh making him ache painfully.

  Gently tugging her hand away, she said, “I can see now why you are in search of a tutor for yourself.”

  He blinked in surprise. “How did you know I was in search of a tutor?”

  She waved a hand toward the path that led back to his house and the other homes that occupied this secluded area. “May we walk as we talk? I’d like to change into dry clothes as I’m sure you and your daughter would, as well.”

  He nodded, though he would have gladly stood here soaking wet all day long just to be able to glimpse her with her gown molded so seductively against her body.

  “Liza,” she called over her shoulder. “Come along. We’re heading home to get dry clothes.”

  “I want to play with my friend,” Liza whined.

  “She can come too if her father will allow it.” Julianna shot him a questioning look.

  He wriggled his eyebrows at her, just to see if he could get her to smile again, and when her cheeks pulled into a grin and two dimples appeared, making her look breathtakingly innocent, his heart gave an odd tug. He cleared his throat and pitched his voice low and dramatically serious. “If I can come, as well, I’ll allow whatever you ask and much, much more.” So much for only talking to her as the lady he knew she was. He simply couldn’t help himself. She’d done nothing, yet her nothing made him want to do wicked things to her and with her.

  Julianna smirked before turning toward the girls. “Come a
long then, little darlings. You may play together for a bit.” Julianna turned back to Nash.

  Squeals of delight echoed behind Nash and Julianna as they set out up the hill and toward the path. Nash held out his arm in the pretense of being gentlemanly, but he knew damn well proper manners had nothing to do with his actions. He wanted to touch her again. He felt suddenly seven years old and remembered clearly staring into the Granger Toy Store window at Christmas and looking at the glossy wooden horse with the big red bow tied around it. He couldn’t afford that horse, but he’d wanted it more than anything in the world. He could afford Julianna, and he wanted her, but nevertheless she was still unattainable.

  She slipped her arm through his, and the rightness of holding her this way hit him. How odd that it should seem so natural to lead this woman he barely knew. He inhaled deeply and concentrated on the feel of her. The slight weight on his arm. The warmth of her skin in contact with his. The gentle sway of her hip that bumped his as they walked. This may be the only time he was ever this close to her, and as sure as he’d known he would never allow a child of his to be raised in an orphan house, he understood he wanted to remember this moment forever.

  The chatter of the children behind them filled the silence as they walked, so he started humming an old tune about a willing barmaid he used to sing when he’d practice for his boxing matches.

  Julianna glanced sideways at him. “You’re impossible,” she said in a light and merry tone. “I know that bawdy tune.”

  “You do?”

  She nodded. “When you employ me, we really are going to have to work on your music choices and your tendency to insert licentious comments into conversation with ladies. I’m not easily shocked. My mother’s father was a baker, and he had a vocabulary and list of outrageously shocking songs he sang that would have made even you blush. But most ladies of the ton would have swooned five times over at some of the things you have said to me or what you were just humming. And if you truly want to marry a proper lady, the first thing you must learn to do is avoid improper songs and not talk in a way that will send a lady running in the opposite direction.”