After Forever, A Whisper of Scandal Novel

by Julie Johnstone

  It was hard to decide which of Julianna’s casual omissions shocked him more. He settled on the one that held the most promise and interest. “When I hire you?”

  She nodded while giving him a no-nonsense look. “I haven’t been completely forthright with you.”

  “You haven’t?” He couldn’t keep the surprise from his voice. She paused in front of a palatial six-paneled red door that he realized with a start belonged to the house that was at the end of his lane. This was the home he had recently learned was owned by his friend Davenport. He grinned. He couldn’t have stopped the reaction if he’d tried. “Am I to take it Lady Davenport sent you to me?”

  “She played a part. She offered her home to me when she realized I needed a place to stay for a bit, and when I told her I wanted to find employment, she thought of you and said we might be able to help each other. Is the position of tutor filled?”

  He shook his head, hardly believing his good fortune.

  “Excellent. Why don’t you go home and change into dry clothes. Liza can lend Maggie a dress to wear, so we do not have to interrupt their play. I’ll change as well, and you can interview me when you return to see if you think I will suit your needs.”

  “There’s no need to interview you,” he replied, his heart beating an erratic rhythm in his ears.

  Her brows furrowed together in the most adorable way. Julianna was terrible at disguising her emotions. Nash loved that. Most women he’d known never displayed what they were truly thinking.

  “I assure you I’m qualified to tutor you and your daughter.”

  She was nibbling on her lip now, displaying her worry. He didn’t know why she needed employment, but he could tell she was very concerned about not getting the position. He reached out and grasped one of the hands she had been twisting together. “There’s no need to interview you because I already know I want to employ you.” What he didn’t know was how he was going to keep his hands off this woman. She’d made it quite clear she had no interest in anyone who wasn’t her saintly husband.

  Nash frowned. He was jealous of a dead man. How pathetic.

  Julianna’s breath caught in her chest at the way Mr. Wolverton―oh, all right, Nash―stared at her with smoldering eyes. How silly she was being. Eyes didn’t smolder. Fires smoldered, not one’s eyes. She leaned forward just a bit and squinted at his blue gaze because, truly, it did appear to be lit with something.

  Heaven help her! She knew what that something was. She scrambled around him and motioned for the girls to follow her. “Come along, girls. Let us go change.” After she opened the door and shooed the girls in she turned and focused once more on Nash. Her stomach fluttered oddly. “When you return, we can discuss the terms of my employment.” Did she sound panicked? She hoped not, but goodness the man looked sinfully handsome the way his wet clothes clung to his muscular body. The thought heated her despite her own wet state.

  Swiveling on her heel without waiting for a reply, she dashed inside as his low chuckle echoed behind her. With the children giggling at her heels, she took the steps in a most unladylike way, two at a time, and once at the top of the circular staircase, fairly raced down the long hall until she scrambled into Liza’s room and forced herself to take a calming breath. A strange feeling gnawed at her that she tried to ignore as she helped the girls change, but instead of lessening, her uneasiness grew. Leaving the chattering children to play she went to her own bedchamber to put on a new gown. As the door swished shut behind her, a long-forgotten memory slammed into her. She halted, unable to take another step, and stood trembling in the center of the enormous guest bedchamber.

  Blinking, she tried to focus on the yellow coverlet with the intricate swirling pattern to try to ward off the recollection that was turning from fuzzy to clear in her head, but it was no use. The memory would not be held at bay. The burgundy-colored coverlet of her and Henry’s bedchamber filled her mind. How long ago had it been that she’d shed all her clothes and waited, wrapped in that burgundy coverlet for her husband to come into their bedchamber? Four years? No, five. She’d married Henry when she was eighteen, and she was now three and twenty.

  She grimaced, recalling how she had replaced the burgundy coverlet with a white one the day after Henry had rebutted her attempt to caress him between his legs. It had been ridiculous to hope changing the bedcovering would dull her shame. She’d still felt utterly rejected and had promptly complained to Audrey, who’d given her a scandalous picture book of sensual drawings she’d stolen from her father’s collection and flippantly told Julianna to inform Henry that he needed to further his education. The one time she had asked him if he’d ever seen a book like the one she secretly possessed, he’d responded that he was above such depravation, so she’d never mentioned it again. She knew he loved her with all his heart and that had mattered more than anything else.

  Sometimes, at night when she was the loneliest, Julianna could clearly see the drawing in the book of the woman with her hands wrapped around the man’s staff and the desire burning in the man’s eyes. And she could not help but wish Henry had looked at her that way.

  That was how Nash’s eyes had looked just now―full of flaming desire. And it hadn’t appalled her as it should have. Something in her had stirred. A longing to be touched, caressed, or simply held once again in the safety of strong arms. Horrified by her thoughts, she pressed her face into her hands and took a long, shuddering breath. Having funny tingling feelings for another man meant forgetting Henry and risking her heart. She wanted no part of either of those things, and if Nash made any overt attempt to seduce her, she would simply have to make sure he clearly understood her position.

  Gads, she was reminding herself of her prim grandmother. But so be it. Better to be straitlaced than break her vow or her heart again.

  Squaring her shoulders, she marched over to the wardrobe and perused her gowns, settling on a high-collared, blue-twilled French silk day gown with long sleeves. It was entirely too hot today for this particular garment, but she’d wear it anyway since it would cover her almost completely from neck to feet. Once she was dressed, she settled her hair into a knot at the back of her neck and glanced at herself in the looking glass. She looked rather pathetic.

  It was perfect.

  She made her way out of her bedchamber and to Liza’s room, but found it empty, so she headed down the steps to locate the girls while thinking over her situation. She was probably being utterly ridiculous. Just because she found Nash attractive didn’t mean she would ever be in danger of coming to care for him. She barely knew him, after all. He seemed like a good man, but what did she really know of him? Halfway down the staircase, she paused and gripped the balustrade.

  True, he loved his daughter with his whole heart, and he was rather a funny man, but he probably had a dozen dark secrets and tendencies he was hiding. Likely she’d learn them all soon enough and the odd fluttering in her belly would go away. She willed it to be so, and when her stomach fluttered again at the remembrance of his hand grazing her breast when he pulled her near under the water, she groaned and continued her progress downstairs. Three voices, two young and one distinctly male, drifted to her from the direction of the parlor. Nash must have already returned because the deep chuckle coming from the parlor sounded nothing like the butler’s. Determined to quit acting like a silly goose, she strode to the parlor.

  Outside the door, she ran a smoothing hand over her gown―she always was fidgety when nervous―and opened the door.

  She blinked at the sight that met her. Nash lay propped on his right elbow and positioned between Liza and his daughter, who had apparently dragged Liza’s play tea service down from the nursery. All three were smiling and acting as if they were drinking real tea when Liza suddenly offered Nash an invisible scone that he, in turn, pretended to eat. Playfully, he gobbled the thing in one bite. His show made the girls giggle and Julianna’s heart trip at how wonderfully at ease he was with children. Henry had loved Liza with all his heart, but h
e would have never gotten down on the floor with her and had a fake tea party. Guilt pricked her. She shouldn’t be making comparisons between Henry and Nash.

  Irritated with her train of thought, she marched into the room and fixed what she hoped was a scowl on her face. It certainly felt scowl-like the way her brows were straining together. “I see our first lesson will need to be that gentlemen do not sprawl on floors.” Even as she said it, she knew it didn’t bother her and she had to pinch back the smile that was playing at her lips.

  Nash glanced up at her with a disarming smile. Rising to his feet, he brushed his hands together and looked down at her. “Did your late husband never sprawl on the floor?”

  “Certainly not.” She gulped. Not only did the man have eyes that burned like fire but his body put off the heat of one. She could practically feel his warmth surrounding her, and drat it all, it made her shiver.

  “You’re cold still,” he murmured in a definite, husky voice as he slid his hands to either side of her arms and proceeded to rub with long massaging strokes up and down the length of her limbs. Goosebumps popped up under the material of her gown.

  She stilled his hands and set them away. “I cannot possibly be cold. I have on a long sleeved gown.”

  His eyes raked over her with a brazen awareness that said he knew he had caused her to shiver.

  She could have just bit her tongue for forming such foolish words. Defensive, she set her hands on her hips. “Gentleman do not rub ladies’ arms in public.”

  He quirked an eyebrow. “Not even a husband offering warmth or comfort to his wife?”

  She shook her head. Henry had always said affection was for the privacy of one’s home. Her mind still rebelled against the notion, which made her bite her lip at yet another traitorous thought regarding Henry.

  Nash shifted nearer. “If that’s the case, perhaps I don’t want to learn to be a proper gentleman after all.”

  Purposely, she trailed her gaze to his daughter and then back to him. Their eyes met and locked. Tilting her head to Maggie, she said, “I was under the impression you had a very good reason for wanting to learn proper manners.”

  The immediate tension in him was apparent by his stiffening shoulders and ticking jaw.

  “Of course. You’re right. Hopefully, I’ll meet a lady who doesn’t require I follow all the ton rules of how to be cold and boring, but if not, I’ll do my duty as I know it needs to be done. And I believe my first responsibility is to properly introduce you to my daughter, though I am sure you have already familiarized yourself. I took the liberty of introducing myself to the lovely Lady Liza in your absence. I suppose you’ll probably tell me it wasn’t proper at all to do that.”

  Julianna refused to laugh at the overly serious expression on Nash’s face, though her cheeks twitched with the desire. “I do believe the situation called for improvisation, so I feel safe in saying no rules of the boring and cold ton were irreparably broken.”

  “Thank God,” he said with mock severity, unknowingly using language many would consider brash at best. Out of the corner of her eye, Julianna saw Liza’s little mouth gape open. She bent down and discretely shook her head at her daughter, so she would not let on that she’d picked up on the faux pas.

  Julianna smiled at Maggie. “We may have already met, but I didn’t get the chance to tell you that I’ll be teaching you some things for a while to help you become a proper little lady. Liza here can help me and learn with you. Would that be okay?”

  “Do proper ladies do anything fun?” Maggie asked.

  “Oh, yes. We sing, paint, and dance. We ride horses, and play instruments.”

  “We wade in creeks with our shoes off when no one is around,” Liza chimed in, making Julianna immediately blush.

  “Do hush, Liza. That is our little secret. Though, now that it’s out, I do suppose we will have to do it with you, as well, Maggie.”

  Maggie’s big blue eyes grew even bigger. “Are there more fun secret things we do?”

  When Liza opened her mouth, Julianna tsked her. “We don’t tell our secrets in front of a gentleman, Liza, dear. Take Maggie to the nursery and you may share all our secrets. I’ll be up to fetch her in a bit, as I’m sure she will be growing tired from her swim.”

  Maggie poked out her lip and shook her head. “I won’t get tired. I want to stay all day and play.”

  “We’ll see,” Julianna said with a chuckle before Nash helped the girls to their feet and they nosily left the parlor with the toy tea service rattling as they went.

  Julianna faced Nash, determined to fix the tone of their relationship as business only. “We should probably set the terms of my employment today, and then if you care to, we can start working together tomorrow.”

  “I’d like to start today,” Nash drawled.

  She couldn’t help blinking in surprise. “You would?”

  He nodded. “I’m one for tackling my deficiencies straight on. I don’t like to wait around for what I want.”

  “Oh yes, I see,” she mumbled, feeling flustered by the way his smile seemed suggestive. “Then why don’t we sit and come to an agreement on what you will pay me and what sort of things I can help you learn.” She motioned to the chair while she moved toward the settee.

  As she settled herself onto the soft royal blue cushions, she was surprised when Nash sat beside her instead of taking the chair she had indicated. His heat once again invaded her, and when his hard thigh brushed the side of her leg, her heart jolted in response. She attempted to glance at him surreptitiously from under her lashes, but his intense gaze met hers at once. Disconcerted with her reaction to his nearness, she nervously licked her lips. “It’s not customary for a gentleman to sit so close to a lady he’s not courting.”

  His gaze slid slowly lower then swiftly back up. “I’m not a gentleman yet.”

  The deep timbre of his voice had the strangest effect on her. She wanted to lean toward that rich voice so full of elicit promise. Heavens! She was a light-skirt at heart. A searing flush overtook her at once, and she scooted away from him to the opposite edge of the settee.

  One corner of his mouth tilted up in amusement. “Let’s get down to business, shall we?”

  Julianna’s nod was more of a jerk of her head. Nash frowned. “I don’t normally pry into other’s personal business, but since I’m going to be employing you to tutor not only me, but my daughter as well, I am curious why a lady in your standing is seeking employment. Surely, you don’t need the money.”

  He was instantly disgusted with himself when Julianna flushed deeply. Damnation. He should have realized she was wary. He’d just inadvertently caused her embarrassment, and all because he had a strange hunger to learn everything he could about her. “I’m sorry. If I’d known that money had driven you to seek employment, I would have never asked you to explain yourself.”

  Her slender hands twisted together in her lap as she glanced down. “No, you deserve to know. If I were employing someone to tutor my daughter, I’d demand to know every detail of her life.”

  Nash didn’t speak, afraid any acknowledgment of her words would cause her more embarrassment.

  A long sigh emanated from her. “It seems my husband made some unwise financial choices that have left my brother-in-law very strained for money. His wife has a babe on the way, and he cannot provide for them and for Liza and me. And I don’t have enough money to live on without seeking additional funds.”

  What sort of fool husband didn’t ensure his wife would be properly cared for if he died? Nash ground his teeth together then spoke. “What about your family?”

  “I was an only child and my parents are deceased. I have an uncle, but he is a wretched drunk.”

  Nash made a disgusted noise in his throat. Women’s lack of choices was but one thing that angered him about the ton’s attitudes. “You could marry,” he said quietly, willing her to look up so he could see if there was any spark of interest in her eyes, despite what she had told him previously.<
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  Her brilliant green gaze met his, and his heart thumped as if he’d just finished a boxing match. What was this strange effect she had on him? She made him want to hope for things he knew were out of his reach.

  A small, sad smile tugged at the corner of her lips. “Technically, I could. I’ve already had an offer.”

  Something suddenly burned in Nash’s chest. “I’m not surprised,” he said, struggling to keep his voice calm as he imagined bashing her new suitor’s face in. What the devil? He was not a jealous man, or at least he’d never been before. “I gather since you’re here that you turned down― What did you say the man’s name was?”

  “I didn’t, but his name is Lord Cameron.”

  “Are you referring to Trevelle? Lord Lionhurst’s brother?”

  “Yes. Do you know Lord Cameron?”

  He did. And he used to like the man, but he found in this moment, he didn’t care for him at all. Nash leaned back and crossed his ankle over his knee. “Of course I know him. He’s a frequent gambler, so he is in my club quite often. Not good husband material for you at all.”

  She quirked an eyebrow. “One who has a glass head should be aware of stones.”

  “Troilus and Criseyde,” he said, chuckling that she’d called him on his ridiculous behavior. She kept her mettle hidden mostly, but it was there, layered, he suspected, in the hardness of her bones and the softness of her flesh.

  “You know Chaucer.”

  Her stare was nothing short of incredulous. He was enjoying every minute of being with her, and the way she displayed her emotions without care. “Surprised?” he asked casually.