Mirror Image

by Curry, Edna

  “Hello.” Laurie stood up and smiled at her, wondering again what was expected of her. Was this the nanny or the housekeeper? Playing it safe, she remarked, “That’s quite all right. I’m pleased she’s still up to welcome me home.”

  The woman looked confused, one hand rubbing her cheek. Hesitantly, she offered, “I—I’m sorry about your sister’s death and your injuries, ma’am.”

  The ‘ma’am’ sounded strange coming from someone so young. “Thank you.”

  Jass stopped in mid-stride and stooped to give Susie a hug. “Hello, Susie. You go on up to bed with Diane now, Sweetheart. It’s long past your bedtime. You don’t want to be too sleepy for kindergarten in the morning, do you?”

  “No, Daddy.”

  “Run along then. And put Trixie down in the rec. room in the basement. It’s her bedtime, too.”

  “Yes, Daddy.”

  Disappointed, Laurie watched Susie take Diane’s hand and go into the house, with Trixie scampering after them.

  She’d hoped for a little time with Susie to get acquainted, but dared not ask for it. Tomorrow would have to do. She could wait.

  The screen door closed behind Diane and Susie and Laurie turned to get her purse. Jass picked up her suitcase and carry-on case and she followed him inside.

  Just inside the door, an oak staircase curved to a landing. She could hear Susie’s high-pitched, excited chatter up there, and Diane’s low voice in answer. Jass walked straight ahead down a carpeted hallway with her luggage. Apparently the master bedroom was down there. To her left, she could see a large, modern kitchen. Oak cupboards lined two walls, with built-in gleaming white appliances. Everything looked spotless.

  Badly needing an aspirin, she stepped inside, her gaze quickly sweeping the room to orient herself. Putting down her purse, she found the aspirin, then opened several cupboard doors until she found a glass. Filling it with water at the sink, she swallowed the pills gratefully.

  She jumped when Jass spoke behind her. “I’ll put the car away and be right back in.”

  “Sure. I’ll just say goodnight to Susie before I come to bed.”

  She saw a strange look cross his face, but he didn’t reply. Tightening his lips, he nodded and went outside. She walked up the stairs, following the sound of Susie’s voice to her bedroom.

  “Oh! Mrs. Markham!” Diane said in a flustered tone when she saw her. “Did you want something? I—I was just settling Susie down.”

  “Just to say goodnight to Susie.”

  Susie welcomed her hug and kiss goodnight and returned it enthusiastically.

  Laurie said goodnight to Diane, then went back downstairs. She followed the hall to the bedroom where she’d seen Jass carry her luggage, nervous now that the moment to actually share a bedroom with this man had arrived.

  To her surprise, she found not one master bedroom at the end of the hall, but two large rooms with an adjoining bath. Her luggage was in one room. Obviously, the other was his room, since there were only LaRae’s things in her room. She stepped to the other room, staring unbelievingly. Yes, there were his business suits hanging in the open closet, a white shirt tossed over a chair, and black shoes lay on the floor beside it. Her heart felt like a fist had slammed into it. They had separate bedrooms?

  “Looking for something?”

  She whirled and found herself almost in his arms. “No, I—that is—yes, you,” she stammered. Her pulse pounded. He was so close, if she reached out—her hand moved to touch his shoulder, reveling in the solid feel of his muscles under his shirt. She whispered, “I missed you.”

  For a moment he didn’t move, then slowly he leaned forward and kissed her. “I missed you, too, Honey.”

  Her eyes closed and she leaned into him, enjoying the feel of his solid, muscular arms around her, enclosing her in his warmth. His lips moved on hers, teasing, and coaxing more response.

  She returned his kisses eagerly. Flames of desire raged in her belly, seeming to spark from his searching tongue and race along her veins. She opened her lips and her tongue danced with his, meeting his urgency.

  His hand moved up her side, sliding under her sweater and pushing aside the silk camisole, and under her lacy bra. A shiver ran through her as his fingers found their goal. They closed over and caressed her breasts. Her nipples snapped to attention.

  A ragged moan escaped her lips.

  “I love you,” he whispered against her hair. “I was afraid you weren’t planning to come back.” His head dipped, trailing kisses down the side of her neck and then lower, until his lips closed over her nipple.

  A shudder rippled through her as he tugged at it, and an insistent ringing echoed in her ears. When he cursed and pulled away, she realized the ringing sound was the telephone on his bedside table. “Let it ring,” she protested.

  “No. It’ll wake Susie.” He strode across his bedroom to answer it.

  “Diane will—”

  “Diane can’t hear it. She’s gone to bed in her own apartment over the garage.”

  He grabbed the phone just as Susie’s voice whined from upstairs, “Daddy, can I have a drink of water?”

  Giving a sigh and straightening her clothes, Laurie met his eyes and mouthed, “I’ll get it!” Then she strode down the hall to the kitchen for the glass of water, calling an answer to Susie.

  Susie was sitting up in bed. She looked surprised to see Laurie. “Where’s Daddy?”

  “He’s on the telephone, Sweetheart. Here’s your water.”

  Susie drank it, handed the glass back, and said, “Daddy always reads me a story if I can’t get to sleep.” She looked at Laurie hopefully, her blue eyes wide.

  So much for getting back to Jass. She sighed and said, “All right, but just a short one. Which story do you want?” She looked at the full bookcase beside Susie’s bed. “You find the book.”

  Susie jumped out of bed and knelt beside the shelves, pulling out a bright yellow Dr. Suess book, Green Eggs and Ham. “This one.” She handed the book to Laurie and hopped back in bed.

  Laurie sat down on the side of the bed, tucked the soft pink blanket around Susie, and opened the book to begin reading.

  Jass called from down below, “A fire call across the lake, LaRae. I’m leaving!”

  Now what? It wasn’t a question, and his tone of voice left no doubt that she should know what he meant. Disappointment surged through her, but she managed to call an answering, “Okay!”

  Susie sat up again, looking ready to cry.

  Laurie put her free arm around her. “What’s the matter?”

  “I don’t like it when Daddy goes to a fire at night.”

  “Why not? I’m sure Daddy can take care of himself.”

  Susie sniffled and shook her head. “Fires is dangerous, Mommy. Davie’s daddy fell off a ladder and got burned and had to stay in the hospital a long time.”

  Laurie’s throat felt too tight to answer. She hugged Susie close until she quieted, and squirmed loose. “Read the rest, Mommy.”

  After Susie was asleep, Laurie stood at her bedroom window and looked across the lake. She raised the window to let the fresh, cool night air blow in through the screen. Was it her imagination or was that a whiff of smoke? Except for an occasional car driving by, the night was silent. A dog began barking down the lake shore. She could see car lights and movement across the lake, but not enough to know what was happening. At times she could see the silhouettes of dark figures against a red glow, and a couple of shouts echoed over the water.

  Jass apparently belonged to the rural volunteer firemen, since she knew his regular job involved programming computers to do specialized tasks for banks.

  She knew the nearby town of Canton was too small to have paid firemen and remembered some of her friends had done that dangerous and thankless job. Would Jass be safe?

  Suddenly the whole area seemed foreign and strange. What if something happened to Jass? She was in a strange town, miles from anyone she knew, and responsible for a little girl she’d seen
only a few times. How would she cope? With a broken arm, it was hard for her to even drive a car. Tomorrow was her sister’s funeral, and Jass had told her only in a general way of the arrangements he’d made.

  Panic rose to choke her, and she fought it back. She was being silly, letting Susie’s fears upset her. There were lots of other firefighters with Jass. He’d be fine.

  She undressed, put on a pink satin nightgown, and climbed into bed. She fully intended to stay awake until Jass returned, but the long tense day caught up with her and she fell asleep.

  Again she dreamed of Emy and of Susie being in danger. Emy looked sternly at her and admonished, “You promised to stay and protect Susie, Laurie. You promised to play the game. Don’t back out now.”

  She sat up, perspiring and disoriented. Was the dream a message? Or was she still hallucinating? She wasn’t taking any pain pills now. She couldn’t blame her dreams on them this time.

  Suddenly she knew she had to stay. She couldn’t tell Jass the truth until she was sure Susie was safe. Maybe Emy would let her know when that day came, just as she kept warning her to stay, now. Relaxing, she went immediately back to sleep.

  The sound of the toilet flushing in their bathroom next door woke her. Relief spread through her. He was home safe.

  Meaning to talk to him, she went to her door. As she opened hers, she saw Jass’s bedroom door close. She stared at it, feeling totally rejected. Lifting a hand to knock, she stopped, suddenly feeling shy about knocking on his door.

  Would LaRae have knocked? Or would she have just walked in? Laurie swallowed, chickened out and went back to bed.

  So much for that. He must be all right, or surely his fellow workers would have made him go to the emergency room. Thank goodness for that, anyway.

  Obviously, Jass was no longer interested in making love tonight. But she shouldn’t blame him. After all, he must be very tired.

  She lay awake for a long time, wondering about him and LaRae. They obviously hadn’t even slept in the same bed. What had she gotten into?

  When Laurie awoke the next morning, it was broad daylight and the flowered, ceramic clock on her bedside table read seven-thirty. Hurrying to the bathroom, she peeked around into Jass’s open bedroom door, but he was nowhere to be seen. She could hear voices and Susie’s giggle coming from the kitchen down the hall.

  She hurried through her morning toilet and struggled into a loose blouse and wrap-around skirt. Following the delicious odor of coffee, she walked down the hall to the kitchen, nerves once more making her midriff quiver as she paused in the doorway.

  The scene in the kitchen was one she’d dreamed of many times. Sunlight streamed in through the window making the oak and white kitchen bright. Cheerful decals added color above the range and sink. Jass and Susie sat at the round oak table, Jass reading his paper and Susie eating a bowl of cereal. A plump, middle-aged woman who she assumed was Agnes stood at the stove with a spatula in her hand, turning sizzling bacon in a pan.

  What more could any woman ask for than this? A family of her own and servants to help do the work. God, she was so lucky! Could she make it last? She had to!

  Jass and Susie were dressed for the day. Jass wore a dark brown business suit with a plaid tie and a white shirt. Even engrossed in the morning paper, he looked handsome. Susie wore a yellow striped top and brown slacks. Her hair had been brushed shiny and tied back in a pony tail with a brown satin ribbon.

  Diane must get up early, Laurie thought, disappointed. So much for the idea of helping Susie get ready for kindergarten. She would have to get an alarm clock if she wanted to fit into this household.

  “Good morning. I’m sorry I overslept.” She sat down in the empty chair across from Jass, looking him over for signs of injury at the fire last night. She let out a sigh of relief that he seemed okay.

  Trixie got up from the floor beside Susie’s chair and came over to sniff at her. But at least this morning the dog didn’t bark at her. Apparently, Trixie was ready to accept her if the others did.

  Jass looked up from the Tribune and smiled at her. “Morning, Honey. I didn’t know you were awake this early, or I’d have offered you a hand with dressing. Must be awkward with that cast. I see you managed okay.”

  “Sure.” A warm glow sped through her at the idea of him helping her get dressed. Maybe she shouldn’t have been so self-sufficient. She could imagine his hands on her, sliding her clothes over her skin, hooking her bra for her. She swallowed and added, “I’ve had a couple of days to practice in the hospital.”

  “Of course. I forgot about that.”

  “Everything go okay last night?”

  “No problem.”

  “Good morning, LaRae. I’m sorry about your sister,” Agnes murmured as she brought a plate of bacon and eggs for Jass, then poured Laurie’s coffee.

  “Thank you.”

  Susie regarded her solemnly with wide blue eyes, then asked, “Mommy, how’d you get your blouse on over that cast?”

  “I put the blouse on the arm with the cast first, Honey.”

  “What if it’s too tight and won’t fit?”

  Laurie laughed. “In that case, I would just have to choose something else that is loose enough to go over the cast.”

  “Oh.” Susie considered that for a moment, then said solemnly, “Daddy was telling me about the fire he went to last night. Awesome!”

  Laurie’s smile faded. She frowned at Jass, who was busily putting away his bacon and eggs. “Jass, do you think you should be telling her about such things? She’s only five.”

  Jass paused, a forkful of egg halfway to his mouth. His brown eyes widened and he stared at her, then put down his fork. “The fire was at her friend Cindy’s house, LaRae. She was bound to hear about it in school.”

  She flushed and looked down at her plate. “Oh. I suppose so.” Another goof. What was Jass thinking?

  “Anyway, only the garage burned down, Mommy. And nobody got hurt. No big deal. Cindy’s dad’s a builder. He’ll make them a new one right away, I’ll bet.”

  Agnes put a plate of bacon and eggs in front of Laurie with one hand and refilled her coffee cup with the other, all in one swift, practiced motion.

  Laurie stared down at the heavy, fattening food, her stomach turning at the very idea of eating it. Was this really LaRae’s normal breakfast? She looked up at Agnes, and said, “I’m sorry, Agnes, but I really don’t want this. Could I just have dry toast and jelly, please?”

  Agnes turned back, one hand on her hip. “You sick, LaRae? You always eat a big breakfast.”

  That sounded like as good an excuse as any. Close to the truth, too. “My stomach’s a little upset. Just the toast, please.”

  “Sure.” Agnes picked up the offending plate and carried it back to the stove.

  “Can I go play in my room?” Susie asked.

  At Laurie’s nod, she skipped down the hall. As soon as Susie was out of earshot, Laurie met Jass’s eyes and said quietly, “I still don’t think it’s good for her to hear so much about fires. You should have heard her after you left last night. She was afraid that you might get hurt. She’s too little to handle something like that.”

  “You worry too much, LaRae. She chatters a mile a minute, then forgets it all and is off on another subject in no time.”

  “Do you think so?”

  “Yes. It’s not half so worrisome as taking her with us to Laurie’s funeral. Are you sure she should go to that?”

  “Of course. Children need to accept death as a natural part of life. It’s wrong to hide things from them.” She spoke with calm assurance, as though this subject were one with which she had had plenty of experience.

  Jass eyed her thoughtfully, but made no comment and resumed reading his newspaper.

  Laurie looked across the table at Jass, willing him to look at her instead of his paper. “What time is the funeral?”

  “Two. Pastor Luke wants to do a private service for the family downstairs at one-thirty. I made you an appointme
nt to get your hair done at ten. We have plenty of time.”

  He’d made her appointment? She sighed in relief. His nice gesture had solved that problem. She had no idea which salon in Canton was LaRae’s usual.

  “Thanks, Jass.” Laurie swallowed and sipped her coffee. She ate the toast Agnes set in front of her, but didn’t taste it.

  Jass drove her to the salon, where she made careful note of her friendly stylist’s name, Nell.

  There was only one bad moment, when the stylist commented, “You had your hair cut somewhere else.” in an accusative tone. Yikes! Evidently Nell liked to be in control.

  “Yes, when I was visiting my sister in California,” she said. “The style's not too different, is it?”

  “No,” Nell agreed.

  Before leaving, Laurie tucked one of the salon’s business cards in her purse so she'd have the phone number.

  Home again and feeling much better after a shampoo and manicure, Laurie rested.

  A neighbor dropped Susie off after kindergarten, then they all ate lunch and prepared to leave for the funeral.

  Chapter 5

  Getting through the service was an ordeal for Laurie. When they stopped beside the coffin to view LaRae’s body for the last time, Laurie clung tightly to Jass’ hand for support. Her throat tightened and she caught her breath sharply.

  Laurie felt very guilty at this moment, for allowing Jass to think he was burying his sister-in-law instead of his own wife. Susie should be grieving for her mother, not her barely-known aunt. But LaRae’s angry words popped into her mind. I’m filing for a divorce. I’m through putting up with being the good wife and mother and I’ve had it with the guilt trips. I’ve hinted about getting my freedom before, and Jass said I’d be hurting Susie. She’s so little, she’ll recover in no time anyway.