Mirror Image

by Curry, Edna

  Laurie remembered her promise to Emy to protect Susie. She swallowed and looked down at the little girl, who clung to both her and Jass’ hands, her eyes wide. No, she couldn’t tell them until she was sure that Susie was safe. But how was she going to know when that time came?

  Pastor Luke was a warm hearted, enthusiastic man, and conducted a lovely service, first in the chapel, then in the main sanctuary. He wore his clerical robe with dignity, and was treated with respect by the people. Laurie took an instant liking to him and took comfort from his calm and sympathetic words and manner.

  Everyone else seemed to have heard about the accident as well, and Laurie found herself remembering how efficient a small-town grapevine was. She felt so numb, it was easy to deal with people by smiling and thanking them for coming without using their names.

  Somehow, she got through the services and at last stood at the grave holding Jass’ hand as her sister’s coffin was carried to its final resting place.

  They each took a yellow rose from the bouquet on the coffin, slowly walked back to their car, and returned to the church for the traditional coffee hour.

  Laurie numbly went through the motions of talking to various people. She hugged Aunt Martha and tried to comfort her. She sat beside the frail old lady as they greeted the townspeople. Her cousin, Jim, a blond young man now, soon came to take Aunt Martha home.

  As the crowd thinned, Jass came to take her arm. “I’m ready to go, aren’t you?” he asked gently. She nodded and allowed him to guide her back to their car. Susie fell asleep in the back seat, and neither of them had much to say on the return trip.

  Emotional and physical exhaustion overcame her. When they arrived home, Jass turned Susie over to Diane and walked Laurie to her bedroom and helped her take off her dress. He pulled back the covers and gently urged her inside.

  “Try to rest now, LaRae,” he said. She was only too happy to obey, and curled up into a ball.

  He leaned down to smooth back her hair and place a gentle kiss on her brow. She smiled at him, again feeling a sharp pang of guilt for deceiving him. She closed her eyes against the love in his eyes. He was going to hate her when he found out the truth. What a fool she was! He’d never be able to forgive her for doing this.

  Hours later, she was aware of Jass looking in on her. Then Agnes brought her a tray for supper. She downed some of it, and immediately fell back to sleep.

  By the next morning she felt stronger. When she came down to breakfast Jass and Susie were already eating, and apparently ready for work and school.

  She greeted them and smiled at Agnes, again requesting a light breakfast. Agnes frowned, but nodded agreement. Agnes might as well get used to that change, Laurie thought, since there was no way she was going to switch to eating bacon and eggs for breakfast.

  Laurie knew she needed to get into the swing of things here. She didn't like not knowing her new family’s schedule or LaRae’s usual routine. Somehow she needed to take charge of her new life. Maybe Aunt Martha would be willing to talk a while.

  She needed to talk to someone, and even if she couldn’t confide the truth to Martha, surely Martha would inadvertently fill her in on many details of LaRae’s daily life. In spite of her advanced years, Martha was a lively conversationalist. And she might welcome some company today, since Martha's son, Jim, had said he was leaving last night.

  Laurie’s stomach turned over at the idea of getting behind the wheel after her accident, but she knew she must do it sooner or later. Sooner was better.

  She drank her coffee for strength, then looked across the table at Jass, willing him to look at her instead of the newspaper he was reading.

  “I’ll drive over to see Aunt Martha today if you don’t mind,” she said, wondering how she could find out which car was LaRae’s. Silly, she told herself. He’ll take his, so the one that’s left is yours. But where are the keys? Surely they did have two cars, didn’t they? Everything about the house spoke of money being spent freely.

  Jass looked up and frowned. “You can’t drive with one arm in a cast, LaRae.”

  Laurie felt an unreasonable anger at his attitude. She gave a short laugh to cover it, and said, “Of course I can. My dad used to drive with only one finger on the wheel!”

  “LaRae, you just had one accident for cripe’s sake! It’s not safe. I’ll take you to see Martha tonight after dinner. Then I and Susie can go too. Susie loves to go there, and Martha looks forward to her visits.”

  She couldn’t argue with his logic, and felt a warm thrill of anticipation at the idea of going somewhere with him and Susie as a family.

  Smiling, she agreed, “All right.”

  “Oh, goody. Thanks, Mommy.” Susie clapped her hands and tossed her a bright smile.

  Jass added, “Besides, you have all those sympathy notes to answer, remember? That’ll keep you busy for hours today. I left them on your desk. They’ve been coming every day since the accident, but I really didn’t have time to answer. You’re so much better at those things than I am.”

  The knot in her stomach tightened. How would she know who half of those people were? Would she be able to find all their addresses? Then she remembered the sympathy notes were for her, they were from her own friends and family. She, Laurie, was the one supposedly dead. It would be easier for her to do it than it would have been for LaRae! “Yes, of course. I’ll do them, Jass.”

  Susie stood beside Jass, bouncing a bit, and pulling at his sleeve. “You ready, Daddy? We’re gonna be late.”

  “Sure, sweetheart. Get your jacket and school bag.”

  Susie laughed. “It’s a backpack, Daddy, not a school bag!” She ran back up the stairs to her bedroom.

  Jass got up, came around the table, and bent down to kiss Laurie good-bye.

  Laurie was sure he meant it to be just a peck, but she rose to meet him and made it a real kiss, murmuring, “I missed you.”

  “I missed you too, Honey. Don’t forget to call Cathy, okay? She was pretty shook up over the fire the other night. She could use a little cheering up.”

  Laurie felt a rush of panic. Who was Cathy? “Uh, sure. but, I—uh, I think I’ve forgotten her number.”

  “Forgotten it? But you call her almost every day!”

  “I’m sorry, Jass. Lots of things seem to have slipped my memory since the accident. Could you write it down for me?”

  Susie was back, tugging on his sleeve. “Come on, Daddy!”

  “I’ve got to go. It’s in the book, LaRae.”

  Feeling deserted, she watched them walk out hand in hand. Sure it was in the book. But you had to know their name to look them up. They wouldn’t be listed as Cathy and Cindy!

  She felt useless, since Agnes obviously neither expected nor needed her help, so Laurie went back to her bedroom.

  Her room was spacious and beautifully furnished, in soft blues with white frilly Priscilla curtains. A white quilted bedspread decorated with roses and matching pillow shams provided color and contrast.

  Along one wall stood a large oak desk and matching oak floor to ceiling bookshelves half-filled with a large assortment of hard and soft-cover books.

  She walked over to them, pleased to see there would be room for some of her own books, which she wanted to save. Checking the titles, she saw that many of LaRae’s interests matched her own, although LaRae’s collection far exceeded her own. Certainly if she got bored, there was plenty of interest to read here.

  A soft blue easy chair by the window invited her to curl up in it. A matching slim-line telephone sat on the rose-skirted end-table beside it.

  But Laurie was in no mood to read a book. She desperately needed to learn the details of LaRae’s life, and her sister’s desk seemed a good place to start.

  Sliding up the roll-top, she surveyed the desk's contents. Each cubbyhole held stacks of stationery, envelopes, boxes of greeting cards, an assortment of postcards, stamps and various other supplies, all neatly sorted. All were blank and ready to use, but gave her little informat
ion.

  A pile of opened mail, probably the sympathy cards and letters Jass had asked her to answer, lay to one side. Jass had evidently read them, then placed them there for her. She’d deal with them later. Intent on her mission, she continued to search through her sister’s things.

  She opened the top drawer, discovering an assortment of pens, pencils, paper clips and other small items, which also told her nothing. The next drawer yielded more.

  She found LaRae’s checkbook and address book. Carrying them to the soft chair, she curled up and began studying them. Here at last were some of the details she needed; where LaRae shopped and whom she knew. Luckily, LaRae had been as meticulous about writing memos on checks as she herself was. Checks to some places like department, drug, and grocery stores were self explanatory. Other names of places meant nothing to her until she read the memos and figured out that they were restaurants or theaters.

  The address book held many names Laurie knew: their own cousins, some more distant relatives, and a few mutual acquaintances from the past. There were entries of people with the last name of Markham, whom she assumed were members of Jass’s family.

  Many of the names were new to her, and she had no clue to whether they were Jass’s relatives, his business acquaintances, or his and LaRae’s friends. She read through the book slowly, trying to memorize each new name.

  She jumped when the phone rang at her elbow. Should she answer it? Or was Agnes supposed to do that? She took a chance and picked it up. “Hello?”

  “Hi there! You’re home! How’re you doing?”

  Panic closed her throat. The woman on the phone obviously expected her to recognize her voice. Who was she? Trying to keep a casually friendly note in her voice, she answered, “Yes, I’m home. I got in night before last. I’m doing fine. How’re you?” If I can keep the woman talking, maybe I can figure out who she is.

  The woman gave a long ragged sigh, and said, “All right, I guess, considering the house stinks of smoke, and I was too upset to sleep a wink the last two nights.”

  Ah! It’s Cathy. Laurie sighed in relief. Now she wouldn’t have to try to figure out how to call her. She murmured a sympathetic reply.

  After that, all she had to do was listen. Cathy talked a-mile-a-minute, giving her all the details of the fire, from the minute they’d first smelled smoke until the fire was out. “But I kept getting up during the night,” she complained, “checking to make sure the fire hadn’t started up again. I’d smell the smoke and think it must have revived. It was awful, LaRae.”

  “I’m sure it must have been,” Laurie sympathized. “How did Cindy take it?”

  “She seems fine. Why?”

  “I thought perhaps she’d be upset, since Susie was. When Jass left, Susie said she was afraid he’d be hurt like Davie’s daddy.”

  “Oh. Well, you know Cindy wouldn’t know about that. Harold’s accident happened before we moved here.”

  Laurie gasped in dismay, then said lamely, “Of course. But I thought she might have heard about it from the other kids.”

  Cathy made no reply, and Laurie cast about for a suitable change of topic, but could think of nothing.

  Cathy saved the day. “I’m so sorry I missed your sister’s funeral. I heard that Pastor Luke gave a nice sermon.”

  “I’m sorry you weren’t able to be there, “ Laurie said. “I’m sure La—ah, Laurie was pleased so many people came to pay their respects.”

  Another shocked silence, then Cathy blurted, “LaRae, she’s dead. How can Laurie be pleased about anything?”

  Laurie started and swallowed. Where had that thought come from? But she was suddenly sure wherever LaRae was, she did know and approve of it. “I—I don’t know. But somehow, I feel she knows.”

  Cathy laughed, sounding nervous. “For Pete’s sake, LaRae, now you sound like my mother. And you hardly ever go to church.”

  The comment irritated Laurie, and she said impetuously, “What does going to church have to do with what I believe?”

  Cathy gave another nervous laugh. “I don’t know. I guess I just assumed that’s where my mother got those ideas.”

  Laurie said nothing. Suddenly she felt embarrassed at having voiced such a personal opinion to some stranger on the phone. To fill the silence she asked, “Will you have a lot of clean-up to do after the fire?”

  “Not much, considering,” Cathy said in a relieved tone. “Thanks to the guys’ fast work, the fire never got to the house, so we don’t even have much smoke damage in here. It’s amazing how the strong the smoke smell is, though. I have all the windows open, even though it can’t be more than fifty degrees outside.”

  “Will you rebuild?”

  “Oh, sure. As soon as the insurance guy gets done with his pictures and report, Warren will have the bulldozers here cleaning up, maybe tomorrow.”

  “Really? So soon?”

  “That’s one of the advantages of owning your own business. You can do your own first and make the other guy wait,” Cathy said with a laugh. “I’d better go. I’ll see you at Jeff and Denise’s party Saturday night.”

  Laurie’s throat tightened. Cathy’s tone of voice made it obvious that she was supposed to know what Cathy meant. “Party?”

  “You haven’t forgotten it’s Denise’s birthday? You agreed to bake and decorate the cake, remember?”

  “Oh.” Bake and decorate a birthday cake? I can’t even cook breakfast. Thank goodness for her broken arm. “My memory’s been pretty bad since the accident.”

  “Really?” Cathy sounded concerned.

  “Yes. I hope you understand that I can’t bake and decorate with my arm in a cast. I’ll just have to pick one up at the bakery instead.”

  “Bakery? No, no, LaRae,” Cathy said with a laugh. “I can tell you always bake your own. Get it at the grocery store, their baker’s cakes taste better. But you’d better order it ahead. Harry gets crabby if you don’t.”

  That was another thing LaRae would have known. “Sure. Bye, Cathy.” Laurie hung up. Her heart was pounding, and she felt wrung out. She assumed Jass knew this Jeff and Denise, and where to go for the party. It was obviously just a friendly get-together, and not the kind of party to which they were sent a formal invitation.

  But the problem was going to be knowing how to act.

  A soft knock at the door interrupted her thoughts.

  “Come in.”

  Agnes stepped in pulling a vacuum cleaner. “I’ll just tidy up in here, Ma’am.” She stopped and threw Laurie a startled glance. “Oh. You already made your bed. What’s got into you and Jass today? He made his bed today, too.”

  What an odd thing to say. Why would Agnes think Jass had made his bed? “I made the beds, Agnes. I may have one arm in a cast, but I can still do a few things.”

  Agnes sent her a strange look and replied, “Yes’m.”

  “If you’re going to vacuum in here, I’ll go for a walk.” She went to the closet and rummaged on the floor. Didn’t LaRae have a pair of walking shoes?

  “What are you looking for?”

  She turned back to Agnes. “My sneakers. I can’t walk around the lake in these slippers.”

  Agnes pushed up her dark-framed glasses and frowned. “They’re in the hall closet by the side door, where they always are, LaRae.”

  “Oh, of course,” she said, flushing with embarrassment. “My memory’s not so good. It’s from the accident, you know.”

  “I see.” Agnes looked doubtful, but nodded and turned back to her work.

  Leaving the hum of the vacuum cleaner behind, Laurie walked down the hall. The kitchen phone rang before she reached the side door. Knowing Agnes wouldn’t hear it with the vacuum running, she answered it, her heart skipping a beat when she heard Jass’s deep voice.

  “Everything okay, Honey?”

  “Of course. Agnes is vacuuming my room, so I was about to go for a walk.”

  “Did you remember to call Cathy?”

  “Yes, I talked to her.” Well, I did. No
need to tell him that she saved my neck by calling first. “She seems to be doing okay, considering.”

  “That’s good. I’m taking off a bit early. Could you tell Agnes to plan dinner for five o’clock instead of six?”

  “Sure. By the way, Cathy reminded me of Jeff and Denise’s party Saturday night to celebrate her birthday. Did you know about it?”

  “How could I forget? I believe you mentioned it a time or two, LaRae,” he teased. Laurie decided to ignore it. “Well, anyway, since I’m supposed to bring the birthday cake, and can’t bake one with this arm in a cast, I thought I’d order it from the grocery store. Cathy says their cakes are the best. Okay?”

  “Suits me, LaRae. Whatever you want.”

  Damn the man. I need to know how to do that. “I can’t very well go there to pay for it, Jass, since you told me not to drive.” And I don’t even know if I have a car, damn it!

  She heard a heavy sigh over the wire. “Just call in the order to the grocery store and have them put it on your household account. Either Agnes or I will pick it up Saturday afternoon, okay?”

  “Okay.” So, I have a charge account at the grocery store. Now all I have to do is figure out which store. It had to be Canton’s Foods since that was the one LaRae had written checks to most often.

  “Do you want me to pick up anything before I come home tonight?”