Anticipation

by Sarah Mayberry

  She hadn’t had boundaries in his bed, though. She’d been wild. She’d given him everything, without flinching. For a few hours, they’d been as close as two people could be.

  “Okay, we’re ready to roll here,” Raf said.

  Eddie blinked at his brother, resisting being called back to the here and now.

  “Come on, eat something,” Raf said, encouraging Eddie to his feet with a hand under his elbow.

  Eddie made the short walk to the dining table and sat in the seat his brother pushed him into. He ate his pasta, then he repossessed the vodka bottle and proceeded to drink himself into a stupor.

  And one point, he found himself listing all of Blue’s sterling qualities to a patiently nodding Maggie as she made up the couch for him to sleep on.

  “I know, she’s very special,” Maggie said more than once.

  Then Eddie was alone, lying on his brother’s couch, with nothing to distract him from thoughts of Blue with Reid Thompson.

  He’d never thought of himself as a jealous guy before. He’d had beautiful women in his life, women who other men followed with their eyes, women who couldn’t buy milk and a loaf of bread without getting hit on, and he’d never so much as gotten sweaty at the prospect that someone else might make a move on them.

  But Blue… The thought of Blue being with someone else made his chest and gut ache. And it wasn’t just because it was Thompson, he realized suddenly.

  He’d be the same way with any man.

  He threw an arm over his eyes, hating the ugly thoughts circling his head. This was so screwed. Completely fucked up. And there was nothing he could do about it.

  Arm locked in place, he finally drifted off to sleep.

  Chapter Sixteen

  Through drinks and then dinner with Reid, all Blue could think about was Eddie and the look in his eyes when she’d glanced at him on her way out the door.

  He’d looked stricken. There was no other word for it.

  And even though she told herself she owed him nothing, that it was good for both of them that she was sitting opposite Reid right now, she knew in her heart that she was wrong.

  She should have said no when Reid asked her out. She should have come up with an excuse to put him off — said she’d call him, whatever — and just let it go. But Eddie had been standing there, bristling with possessive alpha-male territoriality, and it had felt important to signal that she was not his property, that he had no hold over her. No right to be jealous.

  Now, she pushed her plate away, even though she’d barely touched her meal, and tried to concentrate on what Reid was saying. She’d agreed to this meal, after all. It felt like the least she could do.

  “So then this prick of a site manager calls me over and tries to tell me how lucky I was to get the job. Like he was doing me a favor, you know?” Reid tossed back the last of his beer. “I can’t frickin’ wait till this build is over.”

  Blue nodded as though this wasn’t the fourth story he’d told tonight about how he was right and someone else was wrong. She’d never really noticed before, but Reid was kind of an angry guy. He’d been impatient with the waitress, too, and the whole time they’d waited for their meal — and, admittedly, it had been a while because the kitchen had been dealing with a large table — he’d drummed his fingers on the table and glanced around as though he was being pushed to the absolute limit.

  “So, what have you got lined up next?” she asked, mostly because it was more comfortable than sitting in awkward silence.

  Reid was a bit of a jack-of-all-trades, sometimes taking on plastering work, other times roofing or tiling.

  “A mate’s subdividing his block and putting a new house on the back. Figured I’d help him out with that — but only if he takes my advice about the drainage…”

  Blue listened as he assassinated his friend, almost sighing with relief when she spotted the waitress with the bill.

  “This is on me,” Reid said, pulling out his wallet.

  “Let’s go halves,” Blue said lightly.

  She never let men pay for her meals if she could help it. She wasn’t into feeling obligated, and she didn’t need to be wined and dined to hand over the goods — if she wanted to sleep someone, she slept with them. End of discussion.

  Reid shrugged, and they both watched as the waitress headed to the register to settle their bill. Blue started a little when Reid reached across and picked up her hand, curling his own around it.

  “So…my place or yours?” He grinned expectantly.

  This was the part of the evening Blue hadn’t been looking forward to, because from the moment she’d left Ink with Reid, she’d known what he wanted at the end of the night, and she’d known she wasn’t going to give it to him.

  “Actually, I’m pretty beat,” she said. “I might just head home.”

  His smile faltered. “Seriously?”

  “I’ve got a big day on tomorrow, and I need to start early.” She shrugged.

  “Right.” He sat back, a knowing expression on his face. “This is because I didn’t call after the accident, isn’t it?”

  “What? No. We don’t have the kind of relationship.”

  Although, now she thought about it, he could have sent her a card or a bunch of flowers. She was pretty sure she would have done something along those lines if she’d heard he’d been in a major accident. Hell, she probably would have visited him in hospital.

  “That’s what I figured,” he said. “So, what’s going on? Don’t tell me you’re not up for it — you’re always up for it. It’s one of my favorite things about you.”

  He grinned again, and she was struck with the sudden realization that she didn’t actually like him very much.

  “Well, sorry to disappoint, but I’m not up for it. I’m tired, and I’m going home. But I appreciate you dropping in to catch up.” She twisted to take her jacket off the back of her chair.

  “Come on, Blue, don’t leave me hanging here,” he said.

  She shrugged into her jacket. The blue-balls gambit hadn’t worked on her since she’d been sixteen.

  “It was good to see you, Reid,” she said.

  She pushed back her chair and he reached out to grab her arm.

  “Hold on, you can’t just walk off.”

  “You want to let me go?” She gave him a steady look.

  Maybe he’d been able to intimidate other women into having sex with him, but that shit wasn’t going to play with her. If she had to, she’d make a scene and embarrass him into letting her go.

  Reid’s face flushed and his hand tightened on her wrist for a second before he let her go.

  “Fine. Fuck off, then. Leave me high and dry.”

  She didn’t bother replying. Standing, she pushed her chair in, grabbed her bag and headed for the door.

  “See you later, asshole,” she muttered to herself as she stepped onto the street.

  She was only a couple of blocks from Brothers Ink and her car, and she wove her way through the busy foot traffic, feeling vaguely ashamed of the fact that she hadn’t realized Reid was such a douche before tonight. She’d always known he had a temper, and he’d always been a little on the egotistical side, but she’d never let that bother her because, let’s face it, they hadn’t actually done that much talking. And — if she was being completely honest — Reid having a few personality traits that she didn’t entirely admire made it a lot easier to keep things casual.

  The Brothers Ink building loomed on her left, and she turned onto the side street. It was impossible to see the building and not think of Eddie. She’d hurt him tonight. She’d seen it in his face. But maybe this way he’d accept what she’d said and she wouldn’t have to come to work every day scared of what he might say, what he might offer, how he might tempt her.

  Maybe this way was best. They could get the part where he was disappointed and angry with her out of the way quickly, and forget about Friday night. Things wouldn’t be normal between them straight away, but they’d get there
eventually.

  They had to.

  She hadn’t lied to Reid about having an early start — she had a doctor’s appointment first thing, the last check-up with her orthopedic surgeon before she got the all clear — and she went straight to bed when she got home.

  Despite her early night, she felt like crap when the alarm went off and she sucked down two cups of coffee before heading to the hospital.

  Predictably, her doctor was running late, which meant she was running late by the time she left the hospital. She rang Steffi to let her know what was going on, then did her best to dodge her way through inner city rush-hour traffic. By the time she parked behind Brothers Ink, she was twenty minutes late, and counting.

  She scrambled from her car and rushed into the building, hoping like hell that Steffi or Hans had gotten her client a coffee while she was waiting. It took her eyes a moment to adjust to the dimmer light inside after the bright sunshine, and she almost plowed into Eddie as he exited the staff room.

  “Shit. Sorry,” she said, braking hard.

  Eddie gave her a hard look. “You’re late.”

  “I had an appointment. The doctor was running late.”

  “You might want to arrange things so you don’t keep paying customers kicking their heels next time,” he said, a cold snap in his voice.

  Under any other circumstances, Blue would ask what was up his butt, but she knew exactly why he was pissy with her.

  “You’ll be pleased to know it was my last appointment,” she said calmly. “Now, if you could get out of the way, I can go deal with my paying customer.”

  Eddie frowned, but he stepped aside. She dumped her stuff in the staff room, then went to get her tattoo machine from the autoclave, more than a little off balance after her run-in with Eddie.

  Corey was in the supply room already, sorting through a box of inks.

  “Hey,” he said as she entered.

  “Sorry, in a rush,” she said, yanking open the autoclave and pulling out her machine.

  “Can I help?” Corey offered.

  “Hell, yeah. Can you grab my foot pedal and cord, and some Kuro Sumi Greywash and Soft Cherry?” she asked, busy laying her equipment on her tray.

  “On it,” Corey said, and she heard him foraging in boxes behind her, searching for the inks she’d specified.

  “Here,” Corey said, dropping the ink bottles onto her tray and draping her foot pedal and cord over her shoulder. “Before you go, word to the wise — Eddie’s hungover and in a foul mood. Duck and run if you see him, babe.”

  She paused, frowning. “Hungover?”

  “Yep. He had eyes like roadmaps this morning. He was so bad Steffi had to give him some of those magic eye drops of hers.”

  Blue stared at Corey, unsettled. Had Eddie tied one on because of her?

  God. This situation was so messed up.

  “Thanks for the heads-up,” she said.

  Worry and guilt eating at her, Blue went to set up her workroom. Her client was a return customer, back to get the shading done on the cherry blossom tree Blue had outlined on her shoulder during her first visit. Blue apologized profusely for her tardiness, but Rhianna confessed she’d spent the whole time flirting with Hans, so as far as she was concerned, they were sweet.

  The next two hours of Blue’s life were devoted to a few square inches of skin on Rhianna’s left shoulder. Working quickly but carefully, she shaded the cherry blossom tree until it had dimension and texture. Blue made sure Rhianna got her full time and then some to make up for being late and sent her on her way, sore but happy.

  Rolling her neck, Blue headed for the staff room. She was still in the corridor when she heard raised voices, and her steps slowed as she tried to work out if it was prudent to intrude or not. The gang at Brothers Ink were a pretty easy-going bunch, but occasionally tempers flared, as they did in any tight-knit workplace.

  “It’s not much to ask, Steffi. You and Hans are the front line of this operation, and if we can’t rely on you, we’ve got nothing.” Eddie’s voice echoed down the corridor, sharp with anger.

  “I’m sorry. I don’t know what happened,” Steffi said, a pronounced quaver in her voice. Eddie didn’t lose his temper very often, but when he did, it was scary — probably because it was such a rarity.

  Blue didn’t hesitate, plunging into the fray. After all, she was the one Eddie was really angry at, not Steffi. Blue wasn't about to stand by and let someone else cop flack intended for her.

  “Hey, what’s up?” she asked as she entered the staff room. She glanced at Steffi. “You okay?”

  Steffi nodded, but Blue could see she was on the verge of tears.

  Eddie made a rude noise. “Don’t start, Blue.”

  “How about you stop?” she said.

  “I’m okay, Blue. Seriously,” Steffi said.

  It was a blatant lie, and everyone in the room knew it.

  “Go grab a coffee or something,” Blue said, setting a hand on Steffi’s shoulder and turning her toward the door. “Hans can look after reception on his own for a while.”

  “In case you’d forgotten, I’m the boss around here,” Eddie said, his voice dangerously calm. “And Steffi and I were having a conversation.”

  Blue caught Steffi’s eye. “Go. I’ve got this.”

  Steffi didn’t so much as glance in Eddie’s direction as she rushed from the room.

  Blue waited until she was gone before crossing her arms over her chest and eyeing the angry Brazilian in front of her.

  “Proud of yourself?” she asked.

  “Don’t push me today.” Eddie’s nostrils flared as he glared at her, the tendons standing out in his neck.

  “If you’ve got a problem with me, talk to me. Don’t take it out on Steffi or Corey or anyone else, okay?”

  Eddie said something in Portuguese before switching to English. “Trust me, you don’t want to hear what I have to say.”

  “Give it your best shot, tough guy. I can handle it.”

  He took a step toward her, his eyes hard with anger. “Okay, fine. Here it is: Reid Thompson is an asshole. Every time you fuck him you demean yourself.”

  Even though she was prepared for his anger, Blue flinched. “You don’t know what you’re talking about.”

  “Are you telling me you didn’t go home with him last night and let him do you ten different ways?”

  “I’m not telling you anything, because it’s none of your goddamned business.”

  “So you admit it. You went home with him.”

  She was so furious she felt as though her whole body was vibrating.

  “This is why us sleeping together was the worst idea in the history of the world,” she said, stabbing a finger at him. “This moment, right now. You don’t own me, Eddie.”

  Eddie’s face was tight, his cheeks slashed with color. “So I’m not supposed to give a shit that you’d rather be with a knuckle-dragging asshole like Thompson instead of me? That you’d choose him over me?”

  “Says the man who has a revolving door on his bedroom.”

  “That’s right, I forgot — I’m the problem,” Eddie said.

  “How about you both take it down a notch?” Raf said from the doorway.

  Blue started. She’d been so focused on Eddie, on their fight, she’d forgotten everything else. Like the fact they were at work, with clients and colleagues only a few rooms away. She certainly hadn’t heard or seen Raf arrive in the staff room.

  “Sorry. I guess that was pretty loud…?” she said sheepishly, aware of hot color rushing into her face.

  “You could say that,” Raf said.

  Eddie turned his back, walking to the sink. She could see how tense he was, how much he was holding himself in check.

  “I’ll go,” she said.

  “It’s okay, Eddie’s coming upstairs with me,” Raf said.

  “I don’t mind. I’m on my lunch break, anyway.” She moved toward the door, but Raf didn’t get out of her way immediately.

 
“You okay?” he asked quietly, his eyes concerned.

  “Absolutely.”

  “All right. You know where I am if you need me, okay?” he said, reaching out to rest a hand on her shoulder.

  “I do. Thanks.”

  She ducked past him and into the hallway, making a beeline for the rear exit. Once she was outside, she stood blinking in the bright sunlight, unsure what to do.

  She felt dazed. As though she’d just survived a cyclone. Barely.

  Eddie had never spoken to her like that in all the years of their friendship. Ever. And she’d never yelled at him like that, either. They’d both been so out of control, so angry they hadn’t cared who heard or what they said. Their only intent had been to hurt each other — and to win.

  Although what the prize might be was beyond her.

  This is what happens when you fuck your best friend. Congratulations.

  She pressed a hand to her chest, hating how jittery and wound up she was. Hating the fact that the person who had made her that way was Eddie — her best, most beloved friend.

  Her phone chirruped in her back pocket. It was Hans, texting to let her know a call had come in for her, and he’d had to take a message because no one could find her.

  Translation: no one had been game enough to interrupt her and Eddie screaming at each other.

  She closed her eyes for a long beat as it hit her for the first time that everyone now knew that she and Eddie had slept with each other. There was no way they couldn’t know, given how loudly she and Eddie and been screaming at each other.

  Just what she needed on top of everything else. Now everyone would be looking at them out of the corner of their eyes and wondering. Ink wasn’t exactly a hotbed of gossip, but for sure she and Eddie would be the topic of a few hushed conversations.

  Shaking her head, she read the rest of the message, her eyebrows rising in surprise.

  Sienna had called.

  She hadn’t heard from Sienna since her former foster sister had asked for money and Blue had told her it would be the last time. At that point in her life, Sienna had been battling heroin addiction, and Blue had hated knowing that whatever money she gave her friend went straight up her arm. That was three years ago now, though.