Crazy Stupid Perfection (Crazy Love, #3)

by Melissa Toppen

  My chest swells and emotion lodges deep in my chest as I take in the sight. It almost doesn’t seem real. The baby is only probably the size of a small fruit but already I love it more than I thought possible to love anything.

  “Hi baby.” Tears flood my vision as I talk to the monitor.

  “From what I can tell everything looks great.” Kelly says, pulling my gaze back to her. “You’re not far enough along to see the sex of the baby yet.” She explains. “Probably around twenty weeks they will do another ultrasound to determine that.”

  “Which will be when exactly?” I ask, having no real idea how far along I even am. “My first appointment is next week.” I quickly explain.

  “I’d say based on the size and development that you are right around ten weeks.” She says, dropping the probe onto the cart before printing a few pictures out and handing them to me.

  “I’ll make sure the nurse has your doctor’s information so that we can send everything over to their office before your appointment next week.” She gives me a light pat on my arm and then exits the room with the ultrasound machine in tow.

  I’m too busy staring at the pictures she gave me to really acknowledge her departure. Ten weeks... I try to do the math in my head, trying to pinpoint when this could have happened.

  If I’m ten weeks along then that means I got pregnant in Vegas. I can’t for the life of me figure out how I didn’t catch on to the fact that I was pregnant sooner. When I found out I thought for sure I was only three or four weeks at most. I mean, up until a couple weeks ago I had no symptoms at all that I can recall.

  Vegas...

  I let my mind drift back to the night Paxton found me in the casino. The way he looked at me. The way he smiled at me. The way he guided me toward the elevator, both of us knowing exactly what we wanted.

  It’s crazy to think about now. Never in my wildest dreams did I envision this would happen when I was staring up at the ceiling of Paxton’s hotel room, his body gliding on top of mine. I was too lost in his touch, in his smell, in the way his body filled me so completely.

  Scooting up the hard mattress, I cringe when pain once again shoots down my side, pulling my mind back to Drew and the events that took place over the last few hours.

  I’m afraid to even consider what would have happened to me, to the tiny human growing inside of me, had Gavin and Decklan not shown up when they did. They saved both of us.

  Resting my head back onto the pillow, my eyes feel extremely tired, despite the fact that I’ve been unconscious most of the evening. Giving into the strain, I close them, already feeling myself drift within seconds.

  The sound of the door and my mother’s soft voice pulls me back just as I’m verging on the cusp. Blinking, I barely register her face before she is hovering over me, kissing the top of my head.

  “I didn’t mean to wake you.” She says, pulling back to see my eyes focused on her face.

  “You didn’t.” I say, forgetting all about the pictures still clenched in my hand until my mom pulls them from my grip.

  She looks down at them for several seconds before her tear filled gaze finally reaches mine.

  “Decklan got a hold of Paxton.” She finally says after a long moment of silence. “He’s on the phone with him now.”

  My heart hammers violently against my ribs at the news.

  It’s been too long since I’ve seen his handsome face. Too long since I’ve gazed into those brilliant green eyes of his. Too long since I’ve felt the burn of my skin under his touch. I miss him terribly. More now than I think I ever have before.

  Going through this, knowing I barely made it out on the other side with my life, it’s enough to put things into real perspective. Earlier today I stood the risk of never seeing Paxton again. The thought brings the burn of tears back to my eyes.

  “What if he doesn’t want to see me?” I voice a concern I didn’t even know I harbored until the words leave my lips.

  “He will.” My mom reassures me, once again leaning forward to kiss my head. “Sometimes it takes something like this happening for people to realize just what they stand to lose.” She smiles, but I can see the sadness behind it.

  “Hey.” I grab her hand, clenching it between my own. “I’m okay.” I reassure her.

  “You’re okay.” She breathes, finally letting the knowledge sink in.

  Staring back at me with loving eyes, it isn’t until this moment that I realize I am for her what this baby is for me. I’m her child. I’m part of her. And she thought for a moment that she was going to lose me, just as I had thought I was going to lose my child as well.

  Pulling her into a hug, I squeeze her as tightly as my sore, bruised body can tolerate.

  “I love you mom.” I whisper against her ear.

  “And I love you my sweet girl.” She answers, backing out of my embrace with tears running down her cheeks.

  Swiping them away, she takes a deep breath and smiles. “I’m going to let you get some rest. You need it.” She says, patting my arm gently.

  I nod, knowing that if I close my eyes right now, I’d likely be asleep within seconds. I watch her back slowly out of the room, able to hold on long enough to watch the door latch behind her before my heavy eyelids finally give way to the weight.

  I have only one lingering thought as my mind flutters off to sleep—Paxton.

  Chapter Twenty-One

  Paxton

  “What do you mean she was attacked?” I can’t control the shake in my voice.

  “We don’t know all the details yet.” He says calmly. “But she’s pretty banged up.”

  “I’m on my way.” I click the phone off before Decklan can say another word.

  It isn’t until then that I see I have a missed call and voicemail from Charlie from almost two hours prior. My heart beats violently against my chest as I hit the play button and hold the phone back up to my ear.

  At first I can’t figure out what’s going on. I can hear voices but they’re muffled and are impossible to make out. It isn’t until I hear Charlie scream his name that I realize what’s happening.

  “It’s Drew.” I hear the panic in her voice just seconds before the call goes dead.

  My hands are shaking as I lower the phone, staring at the device for several moments before the urgency to get to her seems to take hold.

  I hop in my car and fire the engine to life; speeding out of the parking lot like my fucking life depends on it. I race through downtown, weaving in and out of traffic. I don’t care that I’m cutting people off. I don’t care that I just ran my second red light. All I can think is that I have to see her. I have to know she’s okay, that the baby’s okay. The thought that this could somehow work out any other way is something I can’t even entertain.

  I have just one thought—Charlie...

  And right now I’m doing everything in my power to get to her.

  ****

  I make it to the hospital in record fucking time. It’s a wonder I didn’t get pulled over along the way, though I’m not sure I would have stopped had they tried. A five car police chase could have ensued and there still was no fucking way I would have stopped until I reached Charlie.

  I head to the Emergency Room before being directed to the third floor. She’s been admitted, which fucking terrifies me, but at least it’s to a regular room and not intensive care.

  I spot Decklan the second I turn the corner that houses the third floor waiting area. He’s pacing back and forth, looking nervously to his right where Gavin is leaning against a wall, two police officers directly in front of him.

  “Where is she?” Deck spins the second he hears my voice.

  As much as I want to know every single fucking thing that’s going on right now, I’m too anxious to see Charlie, to know that she’s okay. Nothing else really matters.

  “You can’t see her right now.” He responds, running his hands through his hair. “She’s being questioned by police.”

  “Is she okay? What hap
pened? What the fuck is going on?” I hit him with multiple questions without giving him the chance to respond.

  “She’s okay. The baby is okay.” My heart damn near explodes in my chest and it takes everything in me not to break down and cry right here and now.

  “She’s got a couple broken ribs,” he continues. “Some pretty substantial bruising and they had to do quite a few stitches across the back of her head.”

  “What happened?” I try to keep my shit together, though right now I really don’t give two fucks that Deck can clearly see how distraught I am.

  “I’m still a little sketchy on the details. From what I overheard Rosie telling Gavin, apparently Charlie was in a pretty abusive relationship while she was in New York, which I guess is why she came home.”

  My stomach twists violently. Of course I knew about this already but Charlie never once led on that the relationship was like this. I curse myself for not pushing her harder, for not forcing her to give me the complete truth.

  At the time I thought I was doing the right thing by giving her time and space to tell me in her own way. Now I see that I should have flown to New York and killed that mother fucker the second I learned that he put his hands on her.

  “I guess he’s been stalking her for a while.” Deck continues, pulling me back to the present. “I don’t really know much else except what Gavin and I walked in on. Fuck, man.” He lets out a slow sigh, once again running his hand through his hair. “I’ve never seen anything like that before. Shit scared the fuck out of me.”

  “What did? What happened?” I don’t try to hide my frustration that I even have to ask.

  “Gavin had me run over to Rosie’s with him to drop off some shit. The second we pulled in we could hear her screaming.” He shakes his head as if to somehow wipe the memory from his mind. “I knew instantly something was wrong. There was a terror in her voice, something I’ve never heard before.” He hits me with emotional eyes, rubbing the back of his neck.

  He pauses for a brief moment to collect himself, clearly very affected by the whole ordeal.

  “Dude was on top of her when we walked in. He had her pinned down and was literally just bashing her head into the floor. Gavin was on him so quick I had barely even moved before he was tearing him to pieces. All I could see was Charlie. Face swollen, blood all over the floor. Scared the fuck out of me dude.”

  “Where the fuck is he?” My nostrils flare as my anger takes over, driving my actions. “Gavin better have fucking killed him, because if he didn’t, I’m going to fucking finish the job.”

  “He damn near did. Beat him half to fucking death before I had the chance to pull him off.”

  “Why the fuck would you pull him off?” I spit, my voice pulling the attention of one of the officers currently talking to Gavin.

  “Keep your shit together Pax.” Deck pulls my attention back to him. “I pulled him off of him because I didn’t want to see Gavin spend the rest of his fucking life in jail for killing someone. I get your pissed, I do. But there’s no reason to go make shit worse.”

  “Where is he?” I repeat through gritted teeth.

  “He’s down the hall.” He quickly continues when my eyes go wide. “He’s under police guard and will be transported to jail as soon as the doctors clear him.”

  “Well he better hope that time comes before I decide to pay his room a little visit.” I pop my neck, my actions fueled by rage.

  “Don’t make this worse Pax. Charlie needs you right now. Your child needs you.” His words cause an entirely new flood of emotions to take hold and I can feel my eyes widen as I stare back at him in complete shock.

  “Didn’t think I knew?” He lets out a low chuckle, shaking his head. “I don’t have my head up my ass like our good friend over there.” He gestures toward Gavin. “Anyway who cared enough to look could see it. You two stare at each other like you have blinders on; like you can’t see the rest of the world when you’re both in the same room.”

  “Fuck dude, I...” I move to explain.

  “Don’t.” He interrupts, holding his hand up as a signal to stop. “You don’t have to explain your shit to me. I, of all people, know what it’s like to love someone you shouldn’t. Sometimes you just have no control over who the fuck claims your heart.”

  “I didn’t expect for it to turn into this.” I admit, letting out a slow exhale.

  “How long?”

  “Vegas.” I answer on a shrug.

  “Fucking Vegas.” He laughs, smiling for the first time since I arrived.

  “But kind of before that too.” I admit.

  “Damn dude. I can’t believe he hasn’t figured your shit out yet.” His gaze flips toward Gavin.

  “He’s going to fucking kill me isn’t he?” I look over at Gavin as well, watching him trying to hold in his temper as he tries to explain what happened to the police officers.

  “He might.” He admits, nudging my shoulder to get my attention.

  Pointing toward a door about fifteen feet down the hall, the second I see the two officers exiting, talking quietly among themselves, I take off in that direction without saying another word.

  Right now it doesn’t matter that one of my best friends just told me I’ve been outed. All I care about is getting to Charlie.

  I reach her door in record time, letting out a slow controlled breath before slowly pushing my way inside. The moment her face turns toward me, recognition in her eyes, I lose my fucking grip.

  Tears flooding my vision, I’m at her side within seconds, looking down at her beaten, bruised body with so much fucking regret I can barely hold myself together.

  “You came.” Her voice is weak but she seems completely alert, smiling up at me like she actually believed I wouldn’t.

  “Of course I did.” My voice breaks slightly and I have to take a few calming breaths to steady my raging heartbeat.

  My eyes scan her face where bruises line the complete right side, a small cut just above her eyebrow. Her bottom lip is slightly swollen and I can see gauze packed against the back of her head.

  “Fuck Char.” My voice comes out as a sob as I drop to her stomach, my head resting gently against it. “I’m so fucking sorry.” I whisper to the baby.

  My baby.

  Our baby.

  It still seems so fucking surreal.

  When I look up, tears are streaming down Charlie’s face as she watches me, her hand tangling gently in my hair.

  “I’m so sorry Char. I let this happen.” I slide onto the small hospital bed with her, gently pulling her into my arms. She comes to me willingly and fuck does it feel so good to feel her against me.

  “You didn’t do this.” She reassures me, snuggling her face into my chest.

  “I should have protected you, both of you.” I rest my hand on her lower belly. “Instead I pushed you away. I didn’t keep my promise to never let him hurt you again. Fuck Charlie, he could have killed you.”

  “But he didn’t.” She silences my rant. “I’m okay. The baby is okay. Everything is okay.” She whispers, tightening her grip on me.

  How is it that she’s the one laying in the fucking hospital bed and it’s her soothing me and not the other way around?

  “I love you.” I pull her flush against me, kissing the top of head, careful not to touch the injured parts. “I love you so much.”

  “I love you too.” She snuggles deeper into my embrace, her words sending my heart fucking soaring.

  “Do you want to see something?” She pulls back slightly, hitting me a smile that just about melts me to fucking liquid.

  Nodding my head, I reluctantly release my hold on her as she turns, retrieving something from the bedside table. Pushing up into a sitting position, she cringes in pain but refuses to let me help her when I try.

  “Look.” She waits until I’m sitting upright next to her before handing me a long, narrow strip of paper.

  It takes me a minute to figure out what I’m looking at but once I do, a whole new
onset of tears form and for the life of me, I can’t fucking breathe.

  “Is this...” My throat clogs with emotion.

  “That’s our baby.” She whispers next to me, resting her head on my shoulder as she looks down at the ultrasound pictures in my hand.

  “Our baby.” I repeat the words, the reality hitting me with a wave of happiness I didn’t know I had in me to feel. “So little.” I say more to myself than to her.

  “I’m ten weeks.” She says, pulling my gaze from the photos.

  “Ten weeks.” I repeat, too fucking overwhelmed to even think about trying to calculate that in my head.

  “Vegas.” She adds, her smile spreading.

  “So you’ve been pregnant this whole time?” I ask, somewhat in shock.

  “Obviously I had no idea, but yes.”

  “When I think about what could have happened if Gavin and Deck hadn’t shown up.” I take a long look at Charlie, for the first really considering exactly how much I stood to lose.

  “Don’t.” She shakes her head, putting her hand to my cheek as she turns my face toward her. “Don’t do that to yourself. Yes, it could have been worse, but it wasn’t. I shouldn’t have underestimated Drew. This never would have happened had I just admitted to myself what I knew he was capable of. I should have reported him the first time he laid his hands on me and I didn’t. I almost lost our child because of my inability to see past what I wanted to see. This is on me.”

  “No.” I refuse to let her take the blame for this.

  “Yes.” She insists instantly. “And that is something I’m going to have to live with for the rest of my life. Things can always be worse; today I’m just grateful that I’m here, that our baby is here. I can deal with anything as long as I know that the three of us our together.”

  “Just try and get rid of me.” I tease, bumping her nose playfully with mine.

  “Never.” She leans in, pressing our lips together.

  I revel in the feeling of knowing what I feared I had lost is right here, in my grasp. I deepen the kiss, letting the raw emotion I feel bleed through onto Charlie, willing her feel the love swelling so intensely inside of me that I feel like my body is going to rip apart from the pressure.