Standing on their doorstep, feeling guilty for showing up without calling first, she hesitated to ring the doorbell. She glanced at her watch: quarter to eight. They were probably getting ready to put the baby to bed. I’ll just come back another time or call Alisa tomorrow…
“Hey,” Liam said, opening the door. “I thought that was your car I saw pulling in.” He opened his arms and she stepped into them without question.
She didn’t know what it was about her cousin’s husband that always seemed to put her at ease. From the first time she met Liam, she liked him. They’d gone from being friends to family in no time, and Brianna couldn’t be happier to count him among the people she trusted. She had a lot of male friends her own age, but Liam’s life experience and maturity made him someone she could turn to when she needed a different perspective. Like now.
“Okay, you wanna tell me what’s going on with you, Bri?” he asked, offering her a hug. He stroked her hair as he closed the door behind her.
She sniffled, trying to pull herself together. “Oh God,” she said, stepping away when she realized she was leaving a damp spot on a shirt that probably cost more than she’d earn this month. “I’m sorry, I hope I didn’t stain your shirt.”
He rolled his eyes. “I don’t give a damn about the shirt.”
Liam brushed a thumb under her eye to catch a falling tear, and Brianna knew he’d probably dried his teenage daughter’s tears in much the same way dozens of times. It only made her feel worse. She should be past the stage of crying over men. If she had any sense, she’d find someone more her speed, a lawyer or… no, not a lawyer. Jared was a lawyer. An accountant maybe, someone who appreciated order and routines as much as she did. Not someone who thumbed his nose at authority and loved to chase the next thrill.
“I’m sorry.” She reached into her pocket for a tissue. How sad was it that she carried tissues in her pocket, just in case? It reminded her of something her eighty nine year-old nana would do. Drying her tears, she sniffled and tried to put on a brave face. “You and Alisa have enough to deal with… You don’t need to listen to my problems.”
“Isn’t that what families do?” Liam tipped her chin with his finger when she glanced at the door, plotting her escape. “Don’t even think about it, young lady. If you think I’m going to let you leave this house in your state, you’d better think again.”
Liam reminded her so much of her oldest brothers, Jay and Mike. They were forever trying to fix things for her, but she knew no one, not even her over-protective big brothers, could prevent her from losing her heart to Ryan Spencer. It was already too late for that.
“Where’s Alisa?” she asked, glancing toward the massive circular staircase.
“She’s just giving Trey his bath. She’ll be down in a minute.” He put his arm around her shoulder and led her toward the kitchen. “In the meantime, let me get you something to drink. What’ll it be: a glass of wine or something stronger?”
“Herbal tea would be nice, if you have it?” She knew Ryan faced his problems by double fisting it, another reminder of how different they were. She sat on one of the bar stools at the kitchen island and watched Liam brew the tea. “There’s no way a sexy billionaire hotel tycoon should look so comfortable brewing tea.”
Liam smirked as he reached for a cup and saucer in an overhead cupboard. “I have to admit, before I met your cousin, I barely lifted a finger to do anything around the house. But a hell of a lot has changed since then.” He set Brianna’s cup and saucer down and reached into the fridge for a bottle of water for himself.
“Do you ever miss it? I mean, Alisa told me a bit about your life before. You used to travel all over the world, work crazy hours…”
“No, I don’t miss it. I love my life just the way it is.”
“Did you ever think you’d be able to settle in to this quiet life of domestic bliss?”
Brianna knew she was comparing Liam to Ryan and that wasn’t fair. Liam was much older and more mature. He’d already had a teenage daughter and a health scare that gave him the motivation to slow down by the time he committed to Alisa. Ryan was different. He was still young, care-free. He had every right to live his life however he saw fit and she had no right to expect him to change to make her happy. She meant what she said to him last night. She didn’t want him to become someone else just to please her, even if it meant they could never be together. She wanted him to be happy.
“No, I didn’t. But then I never thought I’d meet someone like Alisa either.”
“That’s so sweet,” Brianna said, propping her chin in her hand. She wanted someone to feel that way about her. Someone who was willing to give up everything because he couldn’t imagine his life without her, but asking Ryan to give up his lifestyle was like asking him to deny who he was.
“It’s the truth,” Liam said, leaning over the counter. “You ready to talk about what’s bothering you?”
“What happens when you fall in love with the wrong person? How do you talk yourself out of it? How do you get over them… let them go, even when you don’t want to because you can’t imagine your life without them?” The tears started flowing again in earnest as she began to face her worst fear… life without Ryan.
“I can’t say I know the answer to that,” Liam said quietly as he placed a tissue box in front of her. “Alisa’s the only woman I’ve ever loved, but I know one thing: I could never let her go. Not for anything.”
Brianna closed her eyes as the hot burn of tears left a trail on her cheeks. “I want that, Liam. God, I want that kind of relationship so much.”
“So, what’s preventing you from having it?”
“I’m afraid I’ve fallen in love with a guy who’s all wrong for me.”
Liam laughed. “The media seemed to think your cousin was all wrong for me in the beginning. Twenty years younger, with a reputation as a party girl…” He grinned. “Who ever thought she’d be the best damn wife and mother a man could ever hope to find?” His smile slipped as he faced the sadness in her eyes. “People change, Bri. Besides, it doesn’t matter what other people think of him. It’s what you think of him that counts.”
“I think he’s amazing.” She tucked a lock of hair behind her ear. “He’s sweet and smart, funny… sexy. He makes me laugh, he holds me when I cry. Hell, he’s my best friend.”
“We’re talking about Ryan?”
“How’d you know?”
“How could I not know? It was obvious to me from the first time I met you two that you had an incredible connection. I remember asking Alisa why you two hadn’t figured it out yet.”
“We’ve never…” Brianna blushed. “I mean, we don’t have that kind of relationship.”
“Honey, whether you’ve been physically intimate or not is irrelevant. You’ve shared more with him than any man you’ve ever known. Am I right?”
“Yes.”
“That’s more important than anything that might happen between you two in the bedroom. He knows you, everything from your deepest, darkest secrets to your most embarrassing moment. He knows how many kids you want, what their names will be, the places you hope to visit, and your biggest regrets in life.”
Brianna’s mouth dropped open. “How do you know that?”
“Because that’s the kind of stuff you share with the person you love.” He settled his hand on top of hers. “You may not realize this, but you’ve been in love with him a lot longer than you think.”
“You really think so?”
Brianna tried to remember when her feelings for him started to change. Last summer when they went jogging together, he’d strip his tank top off and wipe his forehead with it before sticking it in the waist band of his shorts. He’d give her that cocky grin when he caught her looking at his defined abs and she hid her embarrassment at being caught with a joke intended to deflate his ego.
“I do.” He squeezed her hand. “I saw the way he looked at you when we were together at Christmas. There’s no doubt in my mind he’s
in love with you.”
“It’s not that I doubt his feelings for me,” she said with a sigh. “It’s just that we’re so different. I can’t imagine him settling in to my life and I can’t imagine being thrust into his.”
“How have you made it work for this long?”
“What do you mean?”
“It seems to me you’ve been meshing your lives for years. How have you made it work?”
“That was different. He wasn’t my boyfriend.”
“Are you saying you didn’t treat him like your boyfriend?”
“No, of course not. Our relationship was strictly platonic.”
“Huh, I seem to recall Alisa telling me you guys do everything together. You go to the movies, dinner, shopping. Hell, you’ve gone on vacation together, haven’t you?”
“Well yeah, but that’s just because I wanted to go to the Cayman Islands and none of my girlfriends could get away. Ryan knew I was disappointed, so he offered to go with me.”
“So, that’s the only trip you’ve taken together?”
“No, there have been others.” She suddenly started to feel defensive. Everything Liam said made sense, and he was beginning to make her question the excuses she’d given Ryan last night. “But that was just because there were places we both wanted to visit. I didn’t want to go alone and I knew I’d have fun with him…” She lifted a shoulder. “It just made sense for us to go together.”
“You enjoy the time you spend with him?”
“Of course I do.” She smiled, thinking about how much he made her laugh. “I have more fun with him than anyone else. It doesn’t matter what we’re doing, it’s easy and comfortable, and it feels…”
“Right?”
She nodded slowly. “Yeah, it feels right.”
Liam flashed a quick grin. “Honey, I hate to tell you this, but the only thing you and Ryan haven’t been doing together is the one thing you’re probably both dying to do by now.”
The heat moved up her neck, flooding her cheeks as Liam threw his head back and laughed. She reached for a dish towel on the counter and threw it at him, trying to conceal her smile as she said, “Shut up! It’s not funny!”
“What’s not funny?” Alisa asked, walking into the room. She gave Brianna a kiss on the cheek. “This is a nice surprise. What brings you by?”
“Is our son all tucked in?” Liam asked.
“He is,” Alisa said. “Don’t you dare go up there and wake him.”
“Would I do that?” he asked, smiling.
“I know you,” Alisa said, propping a hip against the granite breakfast bar. “You’re going to take him out of his crib and rock him in the chair until he falls asleep. I thought we agreed we had to let him start falling asleep on his own?”
Liam looked like a petulant child as he hung his head. “Just this one last time?”
Alisa pointed at him. “Just this one last time. You promise?”
He made the Boy Scouts symbol and tried to look serious. “Scout’s honor.”
“Don’t think you’re fooling me with that,” Alisa called after him as he walked down the hall. “I know you were never a Boy Scout.”
Liam’s laughter rang out through the house as they heard him running up the stairs.
“He’s impossible,” Alisa said, rolling her eyes. “He’s spoiling our son rotten.”
“But he’s a good dad?” Brianna asked, already knowing the answer. Anyone who had seen Liam with his son could tell he worshipped the infant.
“The best,” Alisa said, smiling. “Okay, enough about us. I want to hear what’s been happening with you.”
“Believe me, you don’t want to know.” Brianna got lost in her thoughts, thinking about the points Liam had made. Everything he said made sense. Why hadn’t she seen that herself? For years they’d been making it work, finding a way to be a part of each other’s lives. Ryan was still able to do his thing and she was able to do hers. Why did that have to change just because they were a couple?
“Okay, tell me what you’re thinking,” Alisa said, reaching for her cousin’s hand and dragging her into the family room. “Sit,” she said, guiding her to the oversized leather couch. “I want to hear everything. What, or should I say who, has put you in this melancholy mood?”
“I’m fine,” she said, faking a smile.
Alisa rolled her eyes as she sat down and folded her legs under her. “Hon, if you’re gonna lie about it, you’d better start wearing waterproof mascara.”
“Shit,” she whispered, swiping her hands over her cheeks. She groaned when she pulled her hands away and saw the dark streaks. “Your husband could have told me I looked like a rabid raccoon.”
“You don’t look like a rabid raccoon. You look like a cute raccoon. In fact, I’ve been reading Trey this story about a raccoon who doesn’t want to leave his home in the woods. It’s called…” She pressed a fingertip to her lips and grinned when her cousin swatted her with a cushion.
“Shut up! Not everyone can look as gorgeous as you 24/7.” She gestured to Alisa’s black yoga pants and hot pink fitted hoodie. “Just look at you. Even in sweats you look hot.”
“Yeah, right. Did you forget your glasses again?”
The designer reading glasses she’d left on her desk made her think of Ryan. He always teased her that she reminded him of a hot librarian when she wore them.
“Okay,” Alisa said, reaching for her hand. “You’re gonna tell me what the hell is going on with you… right now.”
“It’s Ryan,” she said, combing her fingers through her hair. “Things have gotten so complicated.”
“How so?”
“He says he has feelings for me.”
Alisa covered her mouth to contain her squeal of excitement. “I knew this was going to happen,” she said, stomping her socked feet on the Persian rug. “I’m so excited for you guys.”
“Slow down,” Brianna said. “I didn’t say anything happened between us. We’ve just been talking about the possibility of maybe taking our relationship to the next level.”
“What is there to think about? You two are perfect for each other. Anyone can see that.”
Brianna rolled her eyes at her cousin’s one dimensional view of the situation. Everyone who knew Ryan loved him, that was a given, but that didn’t make him a safe bet when it came to relationships. In fact, those who knew him best understood that he was anything but a safe bet.
“Ali, he hasn’t had a girlfriend for more than a week since we were in high school. Don’t you see a little problem with that?” she asked, holding her thumb and forefinger a fraction of an inch apart. “He gets drunk too much, he forgets to go into work when he’s hung over, he drives too fast, sleeps around, gambles too much, hangs out at strip joints, jumps out of airplanes for fun-”
“Yeah, but he’s also funny as hell, sexier than sin, loyal to a fault, smart…” Alisa ticked items off on her fingers with a wicked gleam in her eye. “And he loves you. You and only you.”
“You don’t know that for sure.”
“Oh please,” Alisa scoffed. “I’ve known that man his whole life. He’s got it bad. He could barely take his eyes off you at Christmas.”
“What is it with you and your husband? You were busy having a baby, yet you were able to pick up on some vibe between me and Ryan? What’s up with that?”
“Honey, you’d have to be completely clueless to miss the chemistry between you two.”
“You really think so?” Brianna asked, biting her nail.
Alisa slapped her hand. “Stop doing that. You’re not six years-old anymore.”
Brianna stuck her tongue out. “Just because you’re older doesn’t mean you can boss me around.”
“That’s exactly what it means, and I’m going to tell you exactly what to do to straighten this mess out with Ry, so start taking notes.”
“Just because you’re an old married lady now you think that gives you the right to start doling out relationship advice?”
&nb
sp; Alisa grinned. “Yes, now shut up and listen!”
“Fine,” Brianna said, pulling her knees up to her chest. “Tell me, oh wise one. What should I do?”
“See, here’s the thing you need to understand about men,” Alisa said, smiling. “They think they know what they want, but they haven’t got a clue. They need to find the right woman to clue them in.”
Brianna’s slapped her cousin’s thigh. “You’re terrible.” She giggled. “I can’t believe you just said that.”
Alisa shrugged. “It’s true. Take Liam for example. He thought he was happy working himself to death, stealing a few moments for his daughter in between trips. It wasn’t until I came into his life that he started to believe he could have more. That he deserved more.”
“I don’t think Ryan has that problem, Ali. I don’t know of anyone who has more fun than Ryan. Hell, if he was having any more fun, they’d probably have to throw him in jail or rehab.”
“How do you know he’s having fun?” Alisa looked her in the eye. “Has he told you that? Has he told you that he likes his life exactly the way it is, that he doesn’t want to change a single thing?”
“No, but-”
“So, you’re just assuming?”
“Yes, but I know Ryan. He’s never talked about settling down.”
“Liam had never even considered slowing down until he met me. Hell, I suggested it and he went ballistic.”
“But his heart attack changed things?”
“No, we finally realized we were in love and wanted to be together. We knew that would mean making sacrifices, so that’s what we did. Honestly, I was fully prepared to move to be with him, but when he told me he planned on stepping down and moving to Nashville to be with me, I knew that no matter what we had to face in the future, we’d get through it, together.”
“Weren’t you afraid that he’d end up resenting you? You know, because he had to give up so much to be with you?”
Alisa nodded. “Sure, I was terrified at first, but as time went on, I began to see how happy he was here. It was his home, because I was here.”
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