“That’s so sweet,” Brianna said, trying not to feel a stab of envy at the picture her cousin painted.
“You assume that either you or Ryan would have to make all the changes. Why couldn’t you meet half-way?”
“What do you mean?”
“Obviously, you think you guys are too different to make a relationship work, right?”
“We are.”
“How many times have you told me how much you admire Ryan’s impulsiveness?”
“Several,” she admitted reluctantly.
“And how many times have you said you love the fact that he doesn’t care what anyone thinks of him? He just says and does what he wants, regardless of what people think.”
“Yeah, but-”
“I’m not finished,” Alisa said, holding her hand up. “You’ve also said you wish you could be more like him, impulsive, free-spirited…”
“Yeah, but I’m not,” she said, sighing. “I’m not any of those things. I’m just me and being with Ryan isn’t going to change that.”
“Honey,” Alisa said, reaching for her hand. “You underestimate the power of love. Being in love makes you do things you never thought you could or would.”
Brianna smiled. “You mean like that time Ryan talked me in to going bungee jumping with him on my twenty-first birthday?” She shivered. “I was so scared I almost wet my pants.”
Alisa laughed. “Yeah, but you did it because he was there to hold your hand. And afterwards you told me you’d never felt more alive.”
“That’s true,” Brianna said, biting her bottom lip.
“That’s what life with a guy like Ryan would be like, one adventure after another.” Alisa smiled. “Come on, how cool would that be?”
“Yeah, but I’m not the adventurous type. You know me. I like to play it safe.”
“Who says you can’t change?”
Brianna hugged a fringed cushion close to her chest. “Who says I want to change?”
“You love Ryan, don’t you?”
“Yes, but…”
“Then you’ll want to do whatever it takes to make him happy because that’s what people do when they’re in love, Bri. Just like he’ll want to slow down because that’s what you need sometimes.”
Brianna considered her cousin’s words. She’d always assumed changing to accommodate someone else or expecting them to make changes to accommodate you would be a bad thing, but maybe Alisa was right. Maybe the kind of compromises she described were merely part of a healthy relationship.
“I don’t know, Ali…”
“Listen to me, do you think Ryan enjoys going out to bars and clubs every night? You think he likes being on all the time?” She made air quotations. “Believe me, he does it because he doesn’t want to go home to an empty house. He’s just like everyone else, Bri. He gets lonely, and the only way he knows how to fill that void is with the next party. Trust me, I know. I’ve been where he is.”
Ryan was always at the center of a group. People naturally gravitated to him. It was hard to imagine him getting lonely. “You really think so?”
“I know so. In fact, he was here just last week visiting Trey and he told me how much he’d love to have a baby of his own someday.”
Brianna’s mouth dropped open. “Shut up! He did not say that.” Ryan had never talked to her about settling down before. He always claimed he was too busy planning the weekend to plan for the rest of his life.
“He did.” Alisa smiled. “You should have seen him holding the baby. I’m telling you, he was a natural.” She laughed as she set her arm on the back of the sofa. “Come on, tell me you couldn’t picture Ryan as a dad.”
Brianna’s imagination started to run away with the visual. “Actually, I could.”
“Of course you could. You know he’d be the cool dad. The guy who coached his son’s football games and bought them beer before they were legal.”
“Brianna groaned when she thought about Ryan giving beer to the kids she’d lectured about breaking the law. She was stunned to realize she just assumed she would be the one sharing that life with Ryan. When she tried to imagine another woman as his wife, she couldn’t. More importantly, she didn’t want to.
Before Alisa could question her about what she was thinking, the phone at her elbow rang. “It’s Lena.”
“Get it,” Brianna said, getting up to stretch. She walked to the front door and pulled her cell phone out of her purse. Ryan had texted her to let her know he had to deal with an issue out of town. He said he’d be back on Friday and hoped they could talk about what happened yesterday.
“Hey,” Alisa said, beckoning her over before she could respond to Ryan’s text.
“What is it?” Brianna asked, slipping her phone into the pocket of her tailored dress pants.
“Lena wants us all to go out on Friday night. How does a girls’ night sound to you?”
“Great. Who’s going?”
“You, me, Lena, Erika, and Anna.”
Anna was J.T. and Avery’s daughter and someone Brianna had always counted among her close friends. “That sounds like fun. Where are we going?”
“Jimmy’s.” Alisa propped the phone between her chin and shoulder as she shifted on the couch. “I’m sure Liam won’t mind watching the baby. He’s been after me to get out of the house for weeks.”
“Hold on a second,” Brianna said, holding her hand up. “Did you say Erika was going to be there?”
“Yeah, why?” Alisa asked, feigning innocence.
“You know why. Evan is going to be there with Ryan, Nick, and Dom.” She wagged a finger at her cousin. “If you guys are trying to thrust Evan and Erika together, hoping they’ll be able to work out their differences, I want to go on record right now. I think it’s a bad idea. We shouldn’t get involved.”
“You love Evan, don’t you?” Alisa asked, tapping her manicured fingernails on the arm of the sofa.
“Of course I do.”
“And you love Erika?”
“You know I do.”
“You want them to happy?”
“What kind of question is that?” Brianna asked, folding her arms.
“Then you’ll come with us and do whatever it takes to get those two back together before they throw away five of the best years of their lives.”
Brianna sighed. “Fine, but if this backfires, I’m not taking responsibility for the fall-out.”
“Wanna bet?” Alisa asked, giggling. “If we go down, we’re bringing you down with us.”
Chapter Eleven
By the time Friday night rolled around, Ryan was more than ready to get his drink on at Jimmy’s with his brother and their buddies. He hadn’t spoken to Brianna since their conversation in the lobby, and he had no idea what she was thinking. They rarely went more than a day or two without talking, and he missed her already.
“Hey, there he is,” Nick said, lifting a hand to draw Ryan’s attention to the corner booth where they were seated.
“Boys,” Ryan said, approaching the table. He took his leather jacket off and hung it on the wrought iron hook affixed to the pine booth. Glancing at the pitcher of beer between them, he snickered as he slid in next to Dominic. “You’re gonna have to do better than that.”
Evan raised his beer mug. “You drive here?”
“No, I just came from the airport. I had a limo drop me off. Told the driver I’d call when I was ready for a ride home.”
Evan glanced at his brother’s faded blue jeans and cowboy boots. “Please tell me you didn’t go to a meeting dressed like that.”
“No, I changed on the plane.” Ryan nudged Dominic. “That’s one of the advantages of havin’ a private plane.”
“It’s not your plane,” Evan said, tightly. “It’s the company’s plane and it’s not intended for joy-ridin’.” He reached for the pitcher to re-fill his glass. “Don’t think I didn’t hear about that pit-stop you made in Vegas on the way down there.”
Ryan shrugged. He didn’t feel the
need to run every move he made past his brother. “Don Daniels moved down there with his wife and baby girl last year.” He was referring to a guy who went to school with him and Evan. “Remember him?”
“Of course I remember him,” Evan said, scowling. “We all played on the same football team, dumbass.”
Ryan was used to his brother’s moods, but his disposition had gone from bad to worse since the break-up. “Yeah well, I wanted to stop in and see him. You should see his little girl…” Ryan pulled his phone out of his pocket and scrolled through his pictures. It was disturbing to realize how many were of him and Brianna. “Check her out. Is she gonna break some hearts, or what?” Ryan asked, turning the screen toward the other men so they could admire the chubby cheeks, wide blue eyes, and blond ringlets that had drawn him in.
“Yeah, real cute,” Evan said, pushing the phone away.
“What the hell’s your problem, man?” Ryan asked, slipping his phone back into his pocket.
Dom and Nick glanced at each before Dom said quietly, “I get the feelin’ your brother doesn’t wanna talk about babies or weddin’s tonight, Ry.”
“Well, I’ve got news for you,” Ryan said, looking his brother in the eye. “Life goes on. Just ‘cause you’re miserable doesn’t mean the rest of us have to be. I’m tired of feelin’ sorry for you. If you wanna blame someone for what happened between you and Erika, try lookin’ in the mirror.”
“Let’s not do this,” Nick said, holding his hand up. “Come on, guys, we came here to have a good time.”
“You think I don’t wake up every goddamn day regrettin’ the choices I made, asshole?” Evan said, raising his voice as he leaned forward.
Never one to back down from a fight, Ryan met him half-way. “Yet you’re still at work from sun-up ‘til sundown. Are you too stupid to learn from your mistakes or too stubborn to admit the great Evan Spencer could make any mistakes?”
“What the hell do you suggest I do?” Evan shouted, grabbing the front of his brother’s shirt and drawing him in until they were nose-to-nose. “I’m not a man-whore like you. I’m not gonna jump into bed with the next available woman who throws herself at me, just ‘cause I can’t stand my own company.”
“Watch it,” Ryan growled, grabbing his brother’s wrists as he tried to pry his hands off him. “I don’t give a shit if you’re messed up over this. You wanna piece of me, let’s take this outside.”
“Gladly,” Evan said, dropping his hands and preparing to step out of the booth.
“You guys can’t be serious,” Dom muttered.
“They’re not,” J.T. said, putting a hand on Ryan and Evan’s shoulders as he coaxed them to re-claim their seats. “They’re blowin’ smoke, just like they did when they were kids.”
“Don’t get involved in this, J.T.,” Evan said.
“Too late. I’m family, and this is my bar. That means I’m involved whether I wanna be or not.”
Ryan drew a deep breath, but it did little to diffuse his anger. “Sorry, J.T. We shouldn’t have started anything here.”
“I didn’t start anything,” Evan said, glaring at him. “You did, as usual. You just don’t know when to keep your big mouth shut, do you?”
“Listen to me,” Ryan said, pointing at him.
“I’d rather not,” Evan said, standing up and pushing past J.T. on his way to the restrooms.
“I’m gettin’ sick of his attitude. So he’s messed up over Erika, I get that. We all get that, but how is bein’ an asshole to the rest of us gonna help make the situation better?”
“He wasn’t bein’ an asshole to everyone,” J.T. said, sliding into the seat Evan vacated. “He was just bein’ an asshole to you, ‘cause you’re his brother and that’s what brothers do.” He grinned. “Man, you think that was bad, you shoulda seen the way me and your old man used to mix it up sometimes, Nick,” he said, putting his arm around his nephew’s shoulders. “I’m talkin’ trips to the hospital for broken ribs and stitches.”
Nick laughed. “Yeah, Dad told me about some of those scraps. It almost makes me wish I had a brother.” He cracked his knuckles. “Someone to take my frustrations out on.”
“Yeah, even your cousins are girls,” Ryan said, raising his beer. “That’s gotta suck.”
The men laughed and J.T. said, “You think havin’ a sister is bad? Just wait ‘til you have a daughter and then come back and talk to me about grief. Hell, I’ve started collectin’ shotguns just to keep all those horny cowboys away from my baby girl.”
Ryan laughed. “Last I heard, your little girl was datin’ a bull rider. Ouch,” he said, sucking air between his teeth. “You know first-hand what those guys are like. That’s gotta be rough on you.”
“I don’t wanna talk about that,” J.T. said, reaching for a clean glass. “And if you were smart, you’d keep your mouth shut about it.”
“Come on now,” Ryan said, laughing. “My niece is a smart girl. I’ve taught her well.”
J.T. paused, his full glass in mid-air. “What do you mean you’ve taught her well?”
“Told her all the reasons she needs to steer clear of guys like me and her old man.”
J.T. set his glass down. “Kid, if you said anything to her about what I was like back in the day, I’m gonna finish off what your brother started.”
Ryan laughed as he slammed his hand down on the tabletop. “Man, you guys are too easy tonight.”
“Give it a rest, Ry,” Dominic said, reaching for a handful of pretzels. “Everybody’s on edge. It’s been a long work week. Let’s just kick back and have a little fun.”
“Uh, I don’t know if I’d count on that, Dom,” J.T. said as his eyes focused on the front door.
Ryan turned around to see Brianna standing in the doorway. “I don’t know about you guys,” he said, grinning, “but my night just got a whole hell of a lot better.”
***
Brianna couldn’t stop the slow smile from spreading across her face at the sight of Ryan. God, she missed him. He had only been out of town a few days, but she would go home after work, watch some late-night drama or sit-com re-run, and fall asleep on the sofa with a half-pint of melting ice cream on the coffee table as she drifted off waiting for the call that never came. She had no idea how he would react when he saw her tonight, but if his sexy smirk was any indication, he was as happy as she was to finally have some face time.
“Oh no,” Erika said, groaning at the sight of her ex-boyfriend crossing the dance floor, an angry scowl on his face. “I can’t believe you did this,” she said, turning on their group. “I thought you were my friends. It’s obvious your loyalty lies with him.”
Lena grabbed her arm when she tried to push through them to get to the door. “You can’t run away from the way you feel about him, Erika,” she said quietly. “You can lie to us, but don’t lie to yourself.”
“I’m not lying to anyone,” she said, squaring her shoulders.
Erika was a petite little thing, but Brianna knew better than to think she was weak or fragile. She’d once witnessed Erika carry a sick dog that must have weighed more than she did back to their exam room when he wasn’t strong enough to walk by himself, and his owner, a tearful old lady with a walker, couldn’t offer to carry him.
“I did what I had to do,” she said, looking Lena in the eye. “But I’m not going to pretend it was easy. I’ve loved that man for a long time. I wanted the fairy tale ending with him.” She looked around their small group. “Like the one you got with Liam,” she said, glancing at Alisa. “And the one you’re getting with Dom.”
“Who says you can’t have that?” Lena asked, gripping her shoulders.
“If you were really my friend, you wouldn’t encourage me to settle for less than I deserve,” Erika said, raising her chin.
“What are you talking about?”
“Don’t I deserve a man who’ll put me first, just like you and Alisa have?”
“Of course you do,” Lena said. “But-”
“
You don’t know what it was like being with Evan, especially toward the end.” Her voice sounded unsteady as she said, “It’s like I was invisible to him. I was just this stranger sleeping in bed next to him every night.”
“You were never invisible to me,” Evan said quietly.
Erika closed her eyes, almost as though she had to prepare herself for the inevitable wave of pain she was sure would come. Turning to face her ex-boyfriend, she forced a tremulous smile. “I’m sorry, I didn’t know you would be here tonight.” She gestured behind her. “I never meant for this to turn into an awkward scene. I’ll go.”
“No,” he said quickly, reaching for her hand. “Please, just give me a minute. I need to talk to you.”
Brianna’s heart broke for him, for both of them. Witnessing the death of a love that she thought would last forever was painful. She could only imagine how they must feel.
“Evan,” Erika said quietly, “I’m going to say something I should have said to you the night I left.”
“What?” he asked, letting her hand fall to her side. He looked as though he was bracing for the emotional impact of the blow she intended to deliver with her carefully chosen words. “You couldn’t say anythin’ that would hurt me more than you did when you told me you were leavin’ me.”
Brianna had known Evan all his life, yet she’d never seen him look so lost or defeated. She wanted to reach out and comfort him, but she knew the only person who could offer him comfort now was Erika.
“I don’t love you anymore,” Erika whispered.
He winced and closed his eyes. “I guess I was wrong. You still had the arsenal to blow me apart and I didn’t even know it.”
Brianna knew they didn’t need an audience for this deeply personal conversation, but when she tried to tear herself away, her feet felt rooted to the spot. It was almost like driving by a tragic car accident. Your heart went out to the victims, but you couldn’t resist the urge to sneak a peek at the devastation.
“You were my whole world,” she said, touching his forearm. “I used to cut pictures out of bridal magazines, ‘cause I really believed you’d want to make me your wife someday.”
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