Beyond Lies

by Alka Dimri Saklani

  “Don’t you think you are working too hard? You need more rest. Now go and sleep.”

  “Sleep? No way, tomorrow is Avinash’s birthday.”

  I didn’t have the time to blow up 50 balloons, so I simply surprised Avinash with a few balloons, a cake and his T-shirt.

  He made a face. “This isn’t like your Avenger T-shirt. You intentionally didn’t get a T-shirt like that; you want the best for yourself.” He pulled my leg.

  I was aware of mom and dad mouthing to each other that we still behaved like Kindergarten kids.

  “Forget it, if you don’t want this, I can wear it.” I pulled it back from his hands.

  “How shameless! How can you ask for a gift back? In fact, I am going to keep both, this and your Avenger T-shirt. Of course, you won’t deny the birthday boy.”

  “I can, don’t you remember a few seconds ago when you called me shameless? So, let me be.” I snatched the T-shirt from his hand and timer went off.

  Once again, we were fighting and not looking at the camera when the photo was clicked.

  And I loved the chaos, even more after experiencing the silence at Kiara’s home.

  34. The Dark R

  oom

  …Now

  Tia’s stomach has stopped growling. She lays curled on the bed, too weak to sit or shout for help. Why would she wait for her captor if hunger wasn’t a primal need? Why would she wait for the person who taught her hatred, who ripped away her soul? Hunger can change people. She licks her mouth and brings her knees closer to her stomach. She isn’t thinking about her mother, or anyone else in that moment. All that she can think about is food. If she is granted one wish in this moment it would be to have something to eat. Even freedom wouldn’t cross her mind. A morsel, even if it was decayed or rotten, she needed to eat something. Anything.

  Three ticks on the door and she looks up with hope. Fear is always there, but its subdued under the primal pang of hunger.

  Thud.

  Something is thrown at her; she bends down and her lips touches the food in the loosely wrapped parcel. The smell of fresh sandwich tests her patience as she struggles with opening the parcel with her mouth. With every passing second, she gets more and more impatient, and the smell is so tempting that her impatience converts to a headache, but then finally the wrapper comes loose, and she devours the sandwich like a hungry animal. It’s a small sandwich, one that would fill a two-year-old, not a grown-up who was eating one meal every two days.

  The captor pulls the wrapper when she is still licking the fallen crumbs on it and replaces it with a glass of water with a straw. Tia takes a deep breath after drinking the water.

  It is when the hunger is pulled above the primal level that other feelings raise their head; fear, hatred, anger…she wants to slit the throat of her captor…her desires scare her and she knows an animal has begun to rise in her core. The animal has begun to conquer all the humane parts of her identity.

  The breathing gets nearer and nearer…she drags herself towards the wall…but she knows she can’t escape.

  Within a moment, another chunk of her hair is gone. Tia purses her lips. Humiliation fills her soul, but she is quiet, she has tried shouting and now she is tired of it. She always loved her hair, but now she wishes the captor would slash it in one go instead of chopping it into pieces. That would free her of the evil hope that no more chunks would follow.

  Then again, those strange hands come for her dress. This is the part where she fights back every time. And again, she feels a tingling sensation around her arm. She is aware of someone undressing her, but she is in a daze and can hardly respond. Before she gives away to oblivion, a low hummed song plays in the background, the voice is of a little girl this time.

  "I just want back what I spent on you,

  Yes, I am counting the emotions.

  And yes, I am counting the tears.

  Yes, I am counting the hopes.

  And yes, I am counting the wasted years."

  Tia shudders at the voice. She just wants it to go away. There was a time where she hated silence, but as of late, she has started to fear any human words. Because each word she hears rips away a part of her soul.

  35. Samar

  Then…

  Tia’s father was expanding his business and had thrown a party. She invited everyone from the office. Against my better judgement I went to the party that was organized at a party plot.

  One area was decorated with lights and was crowded, the other area was lit by a dim light. It was where I found Tia, sitting cross legged with two little girls, who I assumed were no older than five. The girls looked like twins. Tia’s long hair cascaded down her shoulders to her waist where they rounded up into curls. Her face glowed under the moon light and her simple white midi enhanced her figure that was usually hidden under her loose clothes. When she laughed carelessly a raw desire to make her mine crawled over me.

  For a moment I was glad my transfer request was declined, though it was the last resort to keep my thoughts unplugged from Tia and keep a reign on my wild desires and untamed fantasies.

  Her laughter suddenly dropped, and I realised she caught me staring at her. I tried to divert my gaze, but it was glued to her. Finally, I forced an awkward smile and walked over to her.

  She got up to greet me and dusted her midi.

  “I am glad you came Mr. Dixit.” Her formal tone broke something inside me but wasn’t it me who had pushed her away?

  The two little girls also stood with her.

  “Hello, I’m Ria, Tia’s best friend,” One of the little girls said, forwarding her hand for a handshake. Something tugged my heart. I was pulled to a conversation that happened years before.

  I want a sweet little girl like you…

  Samar…I don’t want kids…

  “And what about me?” The other girl’s sweet voice pulled me out from my reverie. “I am Rima, also Tia’s best friend.”

  “Yes, yes, you both are my best friends,” Tia bent and planted a kiss on their cheeks. “Now go and play, I will join you later.”

  “Promise?” asked one of the girls.

  “Pinky promise.” Tia intertwined her pinky with the little girl’s, her maternal instincts pushed hard on my restrains. I shouldn’t have joined the party.

  “Hey there.” I turned back to the voice; it was Devansh. He came with his fiancée and introduced her to us. I was glad for the interruption. I used the little time I had to get a grip on my emotions before we walked to the main party area.

  “Sakshi? What the hell is she doing here?” I asked Tia in a whisper.

  “She called and apologised more than 100 times.” She avoided looking at me.

  “And you forgave her?” I tried to control my anger. Why the hell did she have to be so forgiving?

  “Yes, don’t you believe in forgiveness?”

  My anger dissipated into something else entirely…Hope? Would she forgive me for the crime I committed long back if ever she knew about it? But then there was a hell lot of difference between fraud and…

  “Hello Mr. Dixit.” Sakshi’s voice cut through my thoughts. She had the guts to look at me in the eye after all the drama. I hated the girl and I hated that Tia forgave her; I never received good vibes from Sakshi.

  But then in retrospect, who was I to judge?

  But still, I didn’t reply and instead, walked away. I greeted Tia’s parents, gave the bouquet to her father and freed them so they could cater to all the other guest waiting to meet them. I eavesdropped on her mother talking with someone about getting Tia married. Her guest pointed to someone who was talking to Tia. The guy was handsome, and Tia was talking freely with him, not the formal talk she shared with me. My insides burned with jealously and I couldn’t decide whether to push her away or pull her so close that no one would even dare to look at her.

  Before I lost reign of my emotions, I left the party without informing anyone and drove away. How the hell could I allow myself to feel so much?


  I jolted out of my reverie when a street boy knocked at my car window to sell roses at the crossroad.

  “Go away, just go away!” I screamed, and the little boy jumped back, unaware that I was not shouting at him, I was shouting at the little boy who knocked my car window everyday almost six-years back.

  “Please sahib, its only for 10 rupees,” he used to plead, but I never pulled down my car window, but since I went on a first date with Simran, I always brought a rose from him, white at first and slowly and gradually it progressed to red. It took a lot of time to convince Simran for a relationship, but once she fell for me, there was no turning back. Slowly I realised when I first saw her it was just infatuation, attraction. All my misconceptions were broken when real love consumed me, when she became the centre of my world, when everything else in my life slowly began to disappear…

  And when I failed to see beyond her façade…her lies…her deceits…

  36. Tia

  “Daughter of a rich businessman, what makes you do an average job?” Dushyant asked me. He was a family friend, funny and witty, but downright blunt.

  “I want to carve my own identity.” I said with a little attitude.

  “You have a stunning identity, even without your job.” He stared at me from top to bottom and his gaze made me uncomfortable. I diverted my eyes and found Samar staring at us, his grip tight on the drink in his hand.

  “Excuse me,” I said to Dushyant, and walked towards Samar, but he was already walking out of the garden. By the time I walked out, he was already driving away. I controlled my urge to call after him, keeping my self-respect and tried to focus my attention on other guests at the party.

  And only when my mind shifted from Samar, did I notice that Kiara didn’t come to the party.

  I called Kiara, but she didn’t pick up the call. Our house was only five minutes travel from the party plot so I decided to go and check. When I knocked at her door, I stilled the moment she opened the door, because she was panting heavily and then she slid on the floor resting her back on the wall.

  “Oh god, what happened Kiara?” I immediately slid down next to her and began rubbing her back.

  “My inhaler is over,” she said between her heavy breathing.

  “Inhaler?”

  “I…I…am asthmatic.”

  “Give me the prescription I will tell Ritesh to bring it for you.”

  “No Tia, there…there… must be work at the party, it doesn’t ...feel…feel right to call him.” she somehow managed to say between her heavy breathing.

  Actually, she was right. Ritesh was helping out with all the small errands with Shantabai. “Ok, then I will get it, give me the prescription.”

  “You…you…go…you must be needed at the party…”

  “Just shut up and give me the prescription.” I was getting restless; her situation was worsening by the second.

  “Lost…but…but its Asthmanefrin.”

  “Asthmanefrin," I repeated. “Ok, just hold on, I will be back in 10 minutes. Okay?”

  She nodded and tears rolled down her cheeks, I didn’t want to leave her like that, for a moment I even considered knocking the door of the opposite neighbour, but I had seen a grumpy old man there, so I rushed to the shop myself and was back with the inhaler in 20 minutes. The door was open, and she was still sitting where I left her, struggling to breathe.

  “Water…water…” she said pulling off the lid of the inhaler. I rushed inside to get the water and by the time I came back, her breathing had calmed down a little, but she looked drained, her eyes were closed and her head rested on the wall.

  “It’s ok, its ok, deep breath.” I rubbed her back and eventually she calmed down.

  “I am sorry, I spoiled your party.” She said, her eye still closed.

  “Don’t be silly,” I said and finally picked up my phone that had been ringing non-stop. It was Devansh.

  “Where are you? Lost after inviting us to the party.”

  “Oh, I am so sorry, my friend needed some medical attention.”

  “And I can’t even find Mr. Dixit.” His voice was teasing.

  “Mr. Dixit left long ago, maybe the party wasn’t up to his standards,” I said in a light tone, but inside I fumed. “Please give me five minutes, I will be there.”

  “No, it’s ok, we are leaving anyhow.”

  “I am so sorry Devansh,” I said apologetically, but he waved off my apology and asked me to chill.

  “Feeling better now?” I asked Kiara after disconnecting the call.

  “Yeah, I have already wasted so much of your time, I am fine now, you should go back to the party.”

  “I am not leaving without you in this condition.”

  “Listen, you can leave. I need some time to get ready and I can’t keep you waiting.”

  “It’s ok, I will wait. I can’t leave you like this.”

  She agreed hesitantly, and while she was changing, I paced in her living room worried about appearing rude to my guests. I received calls from Sakshi and my other friends who were looking for me. I apologized to them all and feared mom’s wrath.

  Kiara came out after good 20 minutes wearing a knee length glittery black gown and slight makeup. From the rack she pulled out her matching high heels. With her heels and my flats, I reached up to her shoulders. When we reached the party plot most of the guests were gone, just a handful were remaining, and mom was talking to someone when I reached her.

  “Mom,” I touched her elbow.

  She looked at me and then greeted Kiara. “Hey Kiara, why are you so late? Tia was missing you.” She didn’t know I was gone, and I calmed down.

  “Sorry, I wasn’t feeling well, but I am ok now.” Kiara said.

  “No problem, please help yourself with the dinner, its already late.” She showed her to the food counter, and we walked over.

  “I’m starving.” I picked up a plate from the counter.

  “It seems nobody missed you.” Kiara’s words hit me like a punch.

  “Sorry?” I stared at her, “Many of my friends called when you were changing.”

  “I didn’t mean that, I mean your family didn’t even realise you weren’t here.”

  “They were busy with guests.” No matter how good a friend she was, I wasn’t going to hear anything against my family.

  “Yeah, you are right, you were gone for only about an hour I guess.” She said putting dal into her bowl.

  An hour. I was absent for a major part of an important event and my parents didn’t even notice.

  I didn’t allow that thought to press on me and put two puris on my plate.

  After the party, dad told the working staff to keep the bouquets in the car. Kiara joined us in the car. We drove home and I bid goodbye to her. I was too tired by that time and was ready to sleep. Roses had always been my weakness, so I picked up two bouquets and took them to my room and arranged them on the side table along the corner.

  I changed into my night dress and walked to the bouquets and pulled out one rose from it, and it was then I saw an envelope tugged inside the basket of roses. I pulled it out and opened it.

  The photographs shivered in my hands. Photos of me in the market, near my office, at my jogging hours, he was there every moment aware of my every action. With every other photo he was getting nearer, it was only a matter of time before….

  Mom, dad Avinash were in my room in the next moment and only then did I realise I was screaming. Dad held me by shoulders and helped me to the bed, I sat down, and mom offered me water, I pushed the glass away.

  Dad and mom sat by my side and Avinash sat on his knees at the floor, they all tried to calm me down. Once I was out of the shock dad asked if I noticed anything unusual after the police complaint. I told him that someone followed me on my way home sometimes.

  Mom was worried and angry that I didn’t’ tell her.

  “What would you have done mom even if I told you? I wasn’t at the party for one hour and you didn’t even notice. Some stalk
er might just kidnap me someday and you won’t even notice until it’s too late.” My head was spinning. I knew I was talking nonsense.

  “What? You weren’t at the party? Where were you?” mom was astonished.

  “What does it matter? I called to inform you, but you were too busy to even pick up my call.”

  “Oh my god, I am so sorry, you know how noisy it was, I didn’t hear the phone and there were so many people.”

  “It’s not important right now,” dad intervened, his voice stern, “right now, it’s important to recollect who got this bouquet.”

  How the hell was it even possible to remember who got that bouquet? There were dozens, all same, at least same on the superficial level. And even if we got to know who got that bouquet, how could we be sure it was the one who gifted it and not someone who secretly shoved it in the bouquet? Which was far more practical for the stalker to keep his identity hidden. But amongst all the confusion one thing was certain…he was there, my stalker was there, watching my every move.

  The first name to pop in my mind was of Dushyant. But I instantly knew I was being stupid. Just because he stared at me for a single silly moment… Could it be Devansh?

  Dad walked out with Avinash discussing that they must go through all photos right then. Mom offered to sleep with me, but I declined. The fear on her face amplified mine, but the moment mom left I regretted letting her leave.

  When I laid down on the bed, I felt invisible eyes crawling over me and I pulled the duvet up to my neck. Dark thoughts hammered my mind; what if he put secret cameras in any of the bouquet? I changed my clothes in the same room. Next moment I was out of my bed with the two bouquets in my hand and stomping downstairs. I shocked my family that was watching the photographs by connecting the camera to the TV. I manically strode out and threw the bouquets in the garden. I came back and my family’s eyes were fixed on me but mine rested on the photo on TV. Dushyant’s eyes didn’t look intense, they looked obsessed. Maniac. My mind was overworking.