Beyond Lies

by Alka Dimri Saklani

  Did you want me to keep chasing you?

  Or did your well-wisher not recognize me because of the distance?

  Or…

  They didn’t tell you…

  Maybe I wasn’t the only one with mask here.

  41. Tia

  “Mom, I want to tell you something.” I was shuffling with the hanky in my hand and hoped she didn’t turn to look at me. I hoped she continued stirring the dal on the stove. I never knew it would be so difficult to talk to her about anything.

  But she stopped stirring the dal and looked at me with a horrified expression. “What?” By the look on her face, she was preparing herself to listen about some other act of the stalker, but the stalker had stepped back after Samar warned him.

  “Samar proposed me.” God, I was blushing. I mean, I wasn’t the shy kind, but this wasn’t the kind of conversation I ever had with my mom.

  The worry eased on her face and she smiled. “And?”

  “I like him,” is all managed to say.

  “I like him too.” She smiled. “It was only yesterday that we were talking about you.”

  “You and dad?”

  “Yes. We thought something was going between you two, the way he was looking at you at the party, we knew something was going on.”

  What a fool I had been. I was maybe the last one to see that love in his eyes, or maybe I was the first, but I was too scared to hope.

  “Samar should be put into jail.” Avinash entered the room unannounced. His face was solemn, angry even.

  “Why?” I inhaled sharply, not daring to know the answer. Samar’s words echoed in my mind…I can’t share my past…what had he done? My pulse quickened.

  “He has enticed a little girl to marry him, a girl whose brain is yet to catch up. He must be punished for proposing to a minor,” he said and laughed loudly.

  I let out my breath. “I am going to kill you.” I ran after him, and after pinning him down, I punched him senseless.

  “Mom, say, did I lie?” he asked panting for breath after I left him go.

  “And you were listening to our conversation? That was so mean?” I folded my hands in mock anger.

  “Hello! I am not interested in your childish talk. Okay? I just came to get water and overheard.”

  “Liar.”

  “So, now you will lend you avenger t-shirt to me. Right?” he asked.

  “Don’t you even dare put an evil eye to my avenger T-shirt. Why did you even think that I would give it to you?”

  “Because now I think your wardrobe is going to change. You are not going to date Samar in those silly dresses. I am sure you are going to change overnight. You will try to look sexy for him.” He moved his body in a seductive way and his hands along his body.

  And the hitting he got then he would never ever forget in his life.

  “I am your sister, you stupid. Show some respect.” I warned him, but he couldn’t stop laughing. I walked out of my home to Kiara’s place after giving him a final warning.

  “Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god.” I was jumping like a stupid girl with my fist closed and my hands in the air. “You know what?”

  “What?” She stared at me like I was crazy.

  “I am in love. I am in love. I am in love.” I hugged Kiara.

  “In love?” She was so confused that she didn’t even return my hug.

  I left her and walked to the window and held the window railing. “I am in love with Samar. He proposed me today.” The kissing scene came alive and the mere memory of his touch tickled me. I still didn’t face Kiara because I knew my face was flushed.

  “But you said you didn’t love him.”

  “It’s an old story. You know what?” I finally turned to look at her. “We kiss…” my voice struck in my throat when I saw her pale face, the harrowing memories of her lost love written all over her expression. She blinked, trying to push away the pain, and forced a laugh walking towards me. “So, finally this little girl has grown up.” I noticed her voice wasn’t steady “Now that hunk is going to steal you away from me?”

  “No way, you are my best friend. Friends forever. Remember?” I held her tight, cursing myself for being so inconsiderate. I could have broken the news to her with a little less excitement.

  “Of course, friends forever.” She repeated. “I’m just kidding; I am really happy for you. But I’m already missing you.”

  We parted and I looked at her face holding her shoulders. “You are talking as if I am getting married tomorrow. And I am going to be in the same town.”

  She again forced a smile, but I was sure I awakened her scars. It was mean of me, now I needed to fill this uncomfortable silence, so I chattered about everything under the sun.

  Except my love life.

  42. Tia

  The next day, Samar asked for a date and I readily agreed.

  When I opened my wardrobe, I realised Avinash was right. Why did Samar fall for me? I hoped he wasn’t a paedophile and immediately I cursed myself at the stupid thought. Why was I doubting him at the drop of a hat? Sometimes I felt as if I had just seen the tip of the iceberg, there was a lot about him I didn’t know. But with time he would open up. Wouldn’t he?

  I called Kiara and asked her to come shopping with me, but she had a deadline to meet so I called Sakshi. Mom was clearly unhappy that I had allowed Sakshi to re-enter in my life, but Sakshi was sorry for what she did. And we followed an unsaid rule, we never discussed the office and she couldn’t misuse me anymore.

  “I always knew something was going on between you and Samar.” Sakshi teased me when we met at the entrance of the mall.

  “No, when you were there nothing was going on.”

  “You never noticed how he ogled over you?”

  Was it that obvious? Had everyone noticed it?

  “But then I didn’t notice a lot of things,” I thought aloud and immediately regretted it. Sakshi stopped in her track. The air became tense with the forgotten betrayal resurfacing.

  “I mean, I didn’t’ even notice pink was your favourite until now. See, you are again wearing pink.” I tried to laugh it off, not sure if I was successful. She forced a smile and we walked inside the mall.

  Sakshi selected an off-sleeve red crop top and a matching short skirt for me.

  “Nooo…this is way too revealing. It’s off sleeves and look at the drooping neckline.” I rolled my eyes, but inside I was dying to wear it for Samar but couldn’t fathom the courage to wear it to the restaurant.

  “Then wear it with a cardigan.” She pulled out a black cardigan from the adjacent rack. “And you know when you are alone…” She winked.

  “Shut up! You have a dirty mind.” I blushed and punched her arm, but inside I was imagining…

  “So, you have already begun to dream.” She laughed out loud and I felt my cheeks burning. “Shut up.” Was all I managed to say as I pulled the dress in front of me and looked into the mirror, unsure if I could wear it.

  And it was in the mirror I saw him. A huge, dark stranger staring at me and when our eyes met in the mirror, he licked his lips. Goosebumps covered my body and my eyes shut down, but when I opened them again, he was gone.

  “What happened?” Saskhi shook my shoulder.

  “I thought someone was watching us.” I didn’t remove my eyes from the spot in the mirror where I saw him.

  “People watch beautiful young girls. What’s new in that?” She asked indifferently.

  “I mean…I thought…he might be following us.”

  “Is that rose man still following you?” Her expression changed from one of teasing to one of worry. I nodded and suppressed the urge to tell her about the envelope in the bouquet. That scary man might be looming around, might be listening to us. I glanced around and though I couldn’t see him, the fear of him watching us had me in its grip.

  “Don’t worry, its daylight and we are in a mall. What’s the worst that could happen?”

  I nodded, trying to shed the fear, but it was alr
eady beating inside me. When I tried the dress in the trial room, I didn’t walk out to show it to Sakshi, I called her inside the room. She teased me that she needed all the juicy details after our first date, but somehow her teasing wasn’t fun anymore. Fear had replaced everything. She tried to put some sense into me that he was just some random roadside Romeo. And by the time I was home, I was almost convinced he wasn’t my stalker.

  “Whoa…who is this girl?” mom teased me when I was ready for the big day watching myself in mirror. I had let my hair loose and applied red lipstick and lots of kohl.

  “Mom, how do I look?”

  “Like a princess.” She patted my cheek.

  Avinash whistled from the sofa, lying lazily when I walked downstairs. “So, I was right. Your wardrobe has begun to change. I am going to get your T-shirt very soon.”

  “You look at my T-shirt and I will pull out your eyes. Got it?” I pointed my finger at him.

  “Did anyone see my specs?” Dad walked out from his room.

  “I must leave.” I hurried out feeling embarrassed. I didn’t even wait for Samar to enter the home; mom would handle the situation and Samar would be pleased to be with me without having to wait. I wished they didn’t follow me out. They didn’t, but I heard dad complaining to mom. “Don’t you think that dress was a little short?”

  “Oh, come on Dev. In which century are you living?” mom snapped.

  Samar was waiting by his car and oh my god, he looked drop dead gorgeous in his white T-shirt and blue jeans. I had always seen him in formals, this informal look drove me crazy.

  “You look ravishing.” He stared me from top to bottom and my fingers fumbled on my purse.

  “Thank you.” God, I was feeling shy.

  “Hope your lipstick tastes as good as it looks.” He said mischievously.

  “Shut up,” I said not meeting his eyes, but I craved more of his words.

  “Why? Weren’t you eager the other day?” Oh my god. This side of Samar was unknown to me, maybe that was the difference between a boss and a boyfriend. He didn’t look as closed off, and I liked it that he never flirted when we weren’t in a relationship. I won’t have reasons to ever feel insecure with him, brownie points to him for that.

  “Me? And what about you?” I snapped back.

  “Of course, me too, I can deliver a better performance right now.”

  His words sent warm ripples of heat to my cheeks.

  “I’m sure my mom and dad are watching from one of the windows.” I said, not looking at the house.

  He looked in that direction and nodded. “You are right, get inside.”

  “This dress looks good on you, but it isn’t your choice.” He said, igniting the car.

  God, he knew me so well.

  “Sakshi helped me choose it.”

  “Sakshi?” His jaw dropped “Don’t you think you’re getting too comfortable with her?”

  “She’s really sorry, Samar.”

  “Tia, what she did wasn’t a mistake, it was a well-planned conspiracy. How can you even talk to her after what happened?”

  “Samar she…”

  “She might be using you for more information.” He cut my sentence short. “Though she didn’t join our competitor, but she might be in contact with them.”

  “I am not that much of a fool Samar. I never discuss office stuff with her.”

  “Because you have just started talking with her. Within no time…”

  I put my hand on his arm. “Trust me Samar, I would never, even by mistake repeat my mistake. I have forgiven her, but I don’t trust her any more than keeping a casual friendship with her. Actually, I wanted to go with Kiara, but she was busy.”

  “Who is Kiara?” He briefly faced me before concentrating on the road again.

  “Oh, I haven’t’ told you about Kiara? She lives across the road, and she is my best friend; you need to meet her.”

  “Was she there at the party?” He turned around the corner.

  “Yes, but she had an asthma attack and arrived late.” I continued talking about Kiara until we reached the restaurant, and I was still talking about her when we ordered our dinner, but when I realised he was bored, I decided it was time to stop talking about her and talk about us.

  The waiter served us mushroom soup and walked away.

  “Want to see your future home?” He stirred his soup and also my emotions with those words.

  “Who lives in your home?” I asked.

  “I live alone. My dad lives in the U.K., he shifted when I was...” He forgot he was talking to me; he was looking at me, but there was a faraway look on his face. Where was he?

  “Samar?” I asked cautiously.

  “Hmmm,” he said coming back. “Oh…he shifted when I was five. He married some blonde there.” He again stirred his soup, not looking up at me this time.

  “It must have been tough on your mother, and you,” I said when the silence stretched on forever.

  “Hmmm, she waited for him to return until her last breath. It was the only thing that I disliked about her.” He was still stirring his soup, his gaze settled on the bowl, but his thoughts clearly settled somewhere else.

  “I am so sorry Samar.” I held his hand and he squeezed mine so tightly it was as if he was scared I might pull back. I wanted to ask him what happened to his mother. But before I could say anything, he asked, “So, does that change something? You don’t want to visit my home?”

  His question took me off guard, but then I realised I didn’t even answer his question. It was strange that I had fallen for him without knowing anything about him.

  “Of course, I will come.” I tried to pull my lips into a smile, but the sarcasm in his voice wasn’t lost on me. But nevertheless, I was too excited to spend some more time with him after the dinner.

  His house was a block flat on the 19th floor. The living room was furnished with sophisticated furniture and a balanced mix of antiques and modern sculptures. A magnificent lamp stood by the sofa giving a warm glow to the room. We walked to the huge balcony and the view from there was spectacular. Lights bustled through the busy streets of Mumbai and we were too far to be disturbed by sound of horns honking below. The moon shone in its perfect glory in the clear sky and the air was calm and crisp. Perfect.

  “Wow this is wonderful.” I rested my elbow on the metal railing.

  “It is the first time I feel that way in this house, the first time I feel this is a home.” He hugged me close and gave me a peck on my forehead. It wasn’t a romantic kiss; it was an affectionate kiss. We stood like that for a while before he said, “Come inside, I will show you the rooms.” I followed him to the kitchen which was well maintained, nothing like the kitchen of a bachelor.

  “Is your kitchen always this maintained or are you trying to impress me?” I teased him.

  “My kitchen is always this clean but that’s all thanks to Vithal kaka, my valet. Though I am dying to see you working in here.” He put his arms around my waist form behind and nudged my neck with his nose. Oh my god, I had never been so turned on when someone asked me to cook, but I slapped his hand away. “Don’t forget, you have yet to show me your rooms.”

  “Oh, so you want to save the exciting stuff for the bedroom.” He winked, and I inhaled sharply, too flushed to reply.

  He showed me another two rooms before we walked to the bedroom.

  It was huge with a queen size bed in the centre, two tables on the side and one wall size almirah on the opposite wall of the bed. There weren’t any wall pieces hung up, but the room glowed under the yellow light. A big window on one side of the bed gave a spectacular view of the city.

  “This is beautiful.” I said.

  He pulled me to him and stroked my cheek. “Yes, too beautiful. This is your future bedroom.” He glanced at the bed. “And this is the bed where you will wake me up every morning with a hot cup of coffee and…” his intense gaze shifted to me.

  “And?” I asked, almost breathless.

 
He tenderly removed my cardigan and threw it on the bed. “And…” His voice was teasing, and his smell invaded my senses.

  “And…” I couldn’t make it any more than a whisper. What would his hands do to me when just his heated gaze roving over me tickled every soft spot in my body?

  “And...” Thankfully, his strong-arm curved around my waist before my legs gave away and grazed softly at my midriff. He bent down and his hot breath tickled me before he kissed the nape of my neck, and oh the pleasure, I was high without any drug. With every other kiss that teased my shoulders and neck, I entered a new zone of pleasure I didn’t know existed.

  I hated how he looked so experienced and I was so naive. I imagined him with someone else and jealously consumed me.

  After teasing me nonstop, he stood straight and towered over me, his masculine smell filling me and the hunger in his eyes making my knees go weak, his starved gazed rested on my lips and our eyes closed in synchronisation as our lips devoured each other. The taste of his lips became my new favourite. Everything in the word ceased to exist. It was the most I’d ever felt in my life, as if I was in heaven, a feeling of being at the top of the world. After a long passionate kiss, our lips finally departed.

  “I love you Sim….”

  His words pushed me from the top of the world to a bottomless pit and I literally felt that throbbing pain in my gut. I didn’t dare open my eyes, I didn’t want to face reality, I didn’t want to see someone else in his eyes. He also froze, his hands still around my waist, though the grip loosened. I opened my eyes after what felt like eternity. Regret had overpowered the desire in his eyes, and in a minute, everything changed. His hands were no longer holding me…and my hands? Where were they? I felt so numb, so lifeless.

  The room that was filled heavy breathing was replaced with eerie silence. We stood like two statues staring at each other, but not quiet looking at each other, just few inches apart, but the distance between us unbreachable.

  Why was he not saying anything? I expected some explanation, some excuse but none came. I put on my cardigan and walked out.

  “I will drop you home.” Samar’s words slashed me apart. Why the hell was I expecting him to stop me?