Downward Spiral

by Bria Starr

  He lets his arms fall and I turn to start filling the sink with warm water. If all I ever did for the rest of my life was come here to eat and wash his dishes, I think I’d die happy. I hear him chuckle and turn my head.

  “What?”

  “You were so drunk on Saturday.”

  My face turns red and I envision steam coming out of my ears. “Way to ruin a good moment! Seriously, Eli. I don’t want to hear it.”

  “Aww, come on. It was pretty cool to see you so … carefree.”

  “Yes, I was drunk. Yes, I danced. Yes, I sang in public.” I roll my eyes at him. “Get over it.”

  “Oh, I’m over it. It’s all the things you said that I can’t seem to get over.”

  My throat goes dry and I reach over for my water.

  “What do you mean?” I take a big gulp.

  “Oh nothing.”

  “Eli Stone, you had better tell me! I’m embarrassed enough knowing how drunk I was. Now tell me everything you know before I leave.” I huff in indignation.

  He decreases his laughter but the smile hasn’t left his eyes. “Do you remember telling me you thought I was hot?”

  “Hot? No.” There’s no way I’d tell him that.

  “Hmm, that’s weird. Because you did.” He flashes a grin at me.

  I close my eyes and will that night to come back for a do-over. “Please, no.”

  “Oh yeah.” He starts to laugh again. As much as I’d like to tell him to fuck off right now, I hang my head in embarrassment and start to laugh with him.

  “Screw you.”

  “I knew I appealed to you.”

  I’m still embarrassed and blushing, so I try to change the subject to something that will surely get his attention. “Can’t we just talk about Superman or something?”

  “What about him?”

  “About the fact that he is the one true superhero?” “You’re wrong.” It worked.

  “I am not.”

  “The best superhero ever is Batman. Batman and

  Superman fought, and guess what? Batman prevailed.”

  “I’m not denying that. Batman is probably my favorite, besides Wolverine, but I strongly believe the man of steel is the true superhero. I’m not saying he’s my favorite, I just never appreciated him the way I should have.”

  “Then why? I know we’ve had this conversation before.”

  “Because Bruce Wayne’s alter ego is Batman. Peter Parker’s is Spider-man. Clark Kent is Superman’s alter ego, not the other way around.”

  “Yes, but I don’t count that because Superman is an alien from Krypton.”

  “There are a ton of extraterrestrial superheroes. The only difference is,he gets his powers when he comes to Earth and the energy from our sun is what gives him his power. Otherwise, when on Krypton, he’d be just another Kryptonian. Besides, Superman is the only one who actually dies and comes back from the dead. He doesn’t kill anyone, only serves justice.”

  “Well, what about Thor? Or someone from the

  X-Men?”

  “Right, but the way they handle their power is completely different. Superman has it all, yet he chooses to degrade himself into a geeky news reporter, tries to fit in and conceals his identity. He chooses to go low instead of high and claiming what all could be his. He’s a humble yet powerful superhero. I think he’s rare.”

  “It doesn’t matter. Batman still kicked his ass.”

  “Oh, you will never stop will you?”

  “Probably not.”

  “Do you still have all your old comic books?”

  “Yeah, they’re all safely stored away in my closet.” “Do you think any of them are worth money?”

  “I’m sure I have a few that are. I don’t know what shape they’re in after I started loaning them out to you though.”

  I gasp. “I took excellent care of your comics.”

  He laughs. “Yeah, I know you did. It’s just easiest to blame you. I took good care of them but not like I would have if I would have known how popular they’d be.”

  “True that.” I start scrubbing the pans as he finishes emptying the food into a container and puts it in the fridge. “I have a stash of my own, you know.”

  “You do?”

  “Yup, I started buying them after we stopped hanging out because I didn’t want to have to ask you about borrowing yours.”

  “Hey, don’t you still have the first one I ever loaned to you?”

  “Oh. That. I might.” I smile. I know damn well I still have it.

  “You do, don’t you? I want it back.”

  “I guess I’ll have to look for it.”

  “I guess so.” He crosses his arms in an attempt to look upset. I’d believe it if he didn’t crack half of a smile while doing so.

  “I’ll get it to you. Someday.”

  “Someday soon, I hope.”

  He moves beside me and takes each dish from me, rinsing it off, and putting it into the dishwasher. We stand side by side, working together in complete silence. This moment feels so comfortable, like home. Like this is exactly where I’m supposed to be.

  When everything is cleaned up, I thank him for a wonderful evening. He walks me to the door and gives me one last kiss on the lips.

  “I survived,” I tell Laura as soon as I get home.

  “Are you over it?”

  “I am. He made sure he mentioned Saturday,” I say, rolling my eyes, “and we discussed it a little, but that just led into an argument about superheroes that we’ll never see eye to eye on.”

  “You two are such nerds.”

  “I know.” I simper. “Good night, Laura.”

  “Night, Paige.”

  I don’t know why I don’t gloat to Laura about our kiss. I think it’s something I just want to keep to myself.

  I turn into my room and close the door, heading straight for my bookshelf. My fingers lovingly trace over the spines of so many beloved novels. I stop when I get to the tall, thin comic books I’ve collected, and go straight to the one at the end. I gently pull out the comic book that I knowingly stole from Eli. It’s the one he loaned to me, thinking I might like it because it had a wedding in it. The same one where everyone died in the end. I feel conflicted … I couldn’t give this one up by giving it back to him, nor did I want to go buy myself a new one.

  I want his. In the same way most girls want the shirt or sweatshirt of the boy they liked. Yeah, I have one of each of those too, buried in a box somewhere in the back of my closet. Only he doesn’t know I took them. I choose to defend my actions by saying it’s not creepy, it’s romantic.

  Chapter 15

  Saturday. It’s finally here. Today is my date with Eli. As usual, I’m scrambling around my room like a madman. Last night I went shopping, and purchased two new shirts and a dress, but I have no idea what we’re doing or what I should wear.

  I finally decide to go with the red dress and wear my khaki colored jacket with my khaki colored flats. The dress goes down to my mid-thigh so it’s not too short, and the light jacket is perfect in case it decides to rain again. The weather has been so fickle lately, one minute it’s bright and sunny, the next it’s pouring rain. I’m hoping for some good storms though. My brother,Mike, was always a little afraid of them, but they’ve always excited and invigorated me.

  I twist and turn in front of the mirror¸ looking over my appearance. I think this is as good as it’s going to get. Laura is at work so I have nothing to do. I bring my purse and jacket into the living room and set them on the counter. I run back to my room to get my book, and look at my jewelry box sitting on top of my dresser. I open it and take out the book necklace, clasping it around my neck, and smile. I take my book into the kitchen where I grab an apple and sit down to read for a bit as I wait for Eli. After what seems like eternity, my phone goes off.

  Eli: Not sure if I can get into your building. Do you want to come out or for me to come in?

  Me: You can, but I’ll be right out!

  I put my bookmark
in and leave it on the table, then grab my stuff and head out into the cool air of the morning. I’m nervous and excited all at the same time, so much that I feel like I could burst.

  I walk out and look for his gray truck before I realize he’s driven his black Chevelle. My eyes light up. All I can think about is being fourteen again and going for rides on the back roads before either of us had our license. Only this time, Eli is leaning up against it, waiting to take me out. I slowly walk towards him when he hands me three wrapped gifts.

  “I was going to get you flowers but I knew you’d like these better,” he says, handing them to me. He gives me a kiss that makes my head dizzy. “You look beautiful.” He looks down and touches the charm resting on my chest.

  I blush while taking the gifts which are obviously books. “Thank you. You know, you were always so clever about finding me great books. Are you ever going to tell me your secret?”

  He opens my door for me and I get in. “Not a chance,” he says before shutting it.

  “Never thought I’d be in this car again,” I remark after he’s in and our seat belts are on.

  “I only take it out for special occasions.”

  “I’m honored.”

  “As you should be.” He winks before pulling the car out onto the road.

  “So where are we going?”

  “Someplace special.”

  “That narrows it down.”

  “It’s a place that I love and go to as often as I can. I think you’ll like it there.”

  “Have I been there before?”

  “I’m guessing not. It’s a little ways away. Maybe two hours or so.”

  “Two hours away?”

  “It’s not so bad of a drive.”

  “Can I open these now?”

  “Of course. It’s the part I’ve always missed. Seeing the look on your face when you open them.”

  “Well, maybe if you had been around more often…”

  “Ouch!”

  I open them to see the trilogy of a historical romance I’ve been dying to read. “Thank you SO much! I’m just about done with a series I’ve been reading and I had no idea what I was going to read next! Now I don’t have to worry about it!” I’m way too excited.

  “Man, if that’s all I had to worry about …”

  “I never said that was all I had to worry about. I’m just saying it’s one less thing.”

  I sit back, beloved books on my lap, and look over the dashboard and the familiar leather seats, his favorite air freshener still hanging around the ignition. I remember sitting here on my fifteenth birthday when he gave me my necklace. I was floored when he kissed me. I’d loved it, longed for it. But when he pulled away and looked at me for answers as to how I felt, I shrugged it off. I didn’t want to, but I was afraid he might have had a momentary lapse of judgment, and I didn’t want to think too much into it, fearful it would destroy everything we had, so I chose our solid friendship over the possible fling it may have turned to be. Could it have been something more? I’ve always wondered, but it was a huge risk, one that I wasn’t willing to take.

  Eli reaches over and folds his hand into mine where they rest on my lap, next to my new books. He leaves it there during the entire drive as we talk and reconnect. When we get to a part of the state I’ve never been to before, I see lots of open fields and eventually a big white warehouse comes into view. He puts on his blinker and pulls into the long driveway leading up to this mysterious place.

  I gasp in awe when I see a horse and buggy, as well as all the beautiful handcrafted furniture spread out in front of Anderson Country Store.

  “I heard about this place when we were kids!”

  “I came here with my mom all the time before she died and I’ve been coming here ever since.”

  I practically jump out of the car when it comes to a stop so I can look around. He holds the front door open for me and I walk inside, immediately overwhelmed with the scent of fresh baking bread. Best smell in the world.

  As Eli goes to get a cart, I wander off to look down one aisle and see hundreds upon hundreds of jars lined up perfectly on the shelf. There’s everything from different jellies to various pickled something or other. To the left is baking supplies, and the next aisle over is candy, which is across from housewares with knives, cookbooks, and that delicious smelling fresh made bread. Dozens of beautiful wind chimes spiral from the ceiling. I feel a sense of calm and peace here.

  “This place is amazing,” I say to Eli when he returns.

  “Isn’t it though? Everyone is always so friendly and I don’t think I’ve ever been here where they haven’t called me by name. They remember everyone.”

  “That’s so neat.”

  “So basically everything here is homemade or homegrown by the Amish. They actually drive that horse and buggy out there.” He leads me over to the produce section.

  “This is all grown in their own fields?”

  “It is.” He takes some clear bags and starts piling broccoli, cauliflower, and green peppers into each one.

  “Are you ready for this?”

  “Ready for what?” He grabs a few tomatoes and places them into one bag, picks out a few onions and throws them into another bag, then reaches over and picks up a small basket of mushrooms and places them in the cart.

  “Gross.”

  “This is what we’re eating for dinner.”

  “No way.”

  “And guess what else?” Mischief is in his eyes.

  “You’re going to help me cook it.”

  “Not happening.”

  “Oh, it’s happening. That’s what our date consists of. Bringing you here to get the freshest of vegetables and then teaching you how to cook them into something awesome.” I start to protest again until he lowers his voice.

  “If you’re lucky, I might even feed you.”

  I swallow and try not to think about Eli naked, feeding me grapes while fanning my body with a giant Chinese silk fan. “Well, then.” I brush my hair off my shoulders and off my neck that’s starting to bead with sweat. I don’t say another word as he continues to look over the array of vegetables and gets some zucchini and asparagus.

  “I just have to grab some noodles and we’ll be on our way.”

  “You drove all the way here just for some vegetables that you could have gotten any old place?”

  “This isn’t just any old place. I wanted to bring you here. And the drive is part of it too. It feels good to drive around with you in that car again.” He really did put some thought into this. He leaves me speechless as he starts to walk away, but stops when he notices some fresh peaches on display. He pulls down another plastic bag and pours a few in there.

  “Don’t worry, I recycle.”

  Weird how I was just thinking to myself how many bags have been used to get all these veggies. I smile and follow him down to get the noodles and then back up to the cash registers where we are greeted by a silver haired lady wearing a white bonnet.

  “Hi, Eli. You brought a friend today.”

  “I did. Ruth, this is Paige.”

  “Hi, Paige.”

  “Hi.” I smile. “This place is incredible. I can’t get over the way it makes me feel.”

  “You’re not the first one to say that. You’re welcome here anytime.”

  Eli pays for his purchases as I look around the place once again. “Can I help pay for something?”

  “Nope. My payment will be watching you eat and enjoy the things you loathe most.” I make a face at him.

  “Good-bye, Eli. Always a pleasure. Nice to meet you, Paige. Hope to see you again.”

  “It was nice meeting you as well, Ruth. Bye.”

  “That was fun. I’ll definitely be going back there. I want one of those wind chimes,” I mention to him on our way back.

  “We can go back anytime you’d like.” The way he just said we makes my heart flutter. I like the sound of that. I look out the window as he takes my hand and we start to make the two hour drive
back home.

  I help him bring in the groceries and set them down on his counter. He starts getting out pots, pans, knives, cutting boards, and a strainer. “You have to make sure everything is washed really well with soap and water. We don’t want to eat pesticides if we don’t have to.”

  “You think they really use pesticides on their crops? You don’t think they have some fancy homemade mixture that’s harmless?”

  “Probably not. Let’s just assume they use what everyone else does, and anything that can be washed, should be.”

  “You’re the boss.” I grab the vegetables and put them in the sink, then start cleaning them by hand before setting them on a towel to dry.

  “That’s what I like to hear.” He turns towards the oven and sets it to preheat. “So the first thing we’re making is a garden vegetable frittata.”

  “Never heard of it.”

  “You’ll like it. I know you’re kind of a health food nut, so I chose this because I think you’ll really like it. He reaches above the refrigerator, into one of the cupboards no one ever uses, and pulls down a worn out cookbook. “It was my mom’s. All of her recipes are in here.”

  “She was a great cook. I don’t think I ever ate anything at your house that I didn’t like.”

  “She taught me everything I know. I wish I knew more though.” He gently sets the cookbook on a clean spot on the counter and opens it up. “All you have to do is follow the instructions. It’s really as simple as that.”

  “But I burn everything.”

  “You won’t if you cook for exactly how long it says to. You read it and tell me what you need me to do. I’m right here if you have any questions.”

  There’s something about his mom’s very own cookbook that makes me want to try harder. I look over the recipe then he joins me at the counter, placing another cutting board down next to mine. Side by side, we silently chop vegetables, both appreciating the time we had with his mom before she passed.

  We start layering the frittata on a pizza pan, and as I slide it in the oven, Eli turns the page. “Skinny Girl Pasta?” I ask.

  “Hey, that stuff is good!”

  I laugh at him and add the noodles to the boiling water before I continue to chop up more vegetables. So much chopping. He can chop like a pro and it’s kind of sexy to watch him.