Downward Spiral

by Bria Starr

  “There weren’t any hot guys there anyway.”

  “Plenty of dicks to suck though ...”

  I laugh. “Oh my gosh, I know! What was he thinking? That we’d feel honored or privileged to be able to do so?” I shake my head in bewilderment.

  “Maybe we should send him a thank you card.”

  “Yes, for even considering us! You’re so thoughtful,

  Laura.”

  “I try.”

  We spend the rest of the night making jokes at Miller’s expense. The poor bastard will be the butt of many, many jokes in our future. And he will deserve every one of them.

  ***

  The next day I wake up around noon and lean over the side of my bed to shake Laura awake because she’s still passed out in a blanket on my floor. I hope we weren’t too loud last night. I know there were some moments of giggling, from both of us, that couldn’t be controlled. More so on my end than Laura’s. I would be in so much trouble if mom found out we were drinking in my room. I find what’s left of the bottle and I bury it in her bag, opening my window to let out any stench that might be in here.

  “I can’t believe it’s so late,” Laura says with her eyes still closed.

  “That’s what happens when you’re up until three in the morning, drinking.” I quickly get dressed and throw my hair up in a ponytail. “You wouldn’t want to come to the library with me today would you?”

  “Nope.”

  “I didn’t think so.”

  I grab my keys and kick Laura out so I can get to the library before they close. She gets into her beat up red truck that I wish I had, it looks so badass, as I get into my crappy Stratus. I fiddle around with my iPod while Laura disappears down the road, and I start my car to find that it starts right up. That’s weird. I pull out onto the road and accelerate. It gracefully speeds up. No jitters, no glitches, and even the putt-putt sound that I’ve learned to tune out is gone. What the hell?

  And then it dawns on me, it had to be Eli. He heard the awful noise coming from it last night. Ugh, how embarrassing. I pull over onto the side of the road and make a U-turn.

  I pull into his driveway and I see his dad outside fixing a four wheeler. “Hi, Mr. Stone. Is Eli home?”

  “He’s out back,” he says without looking up.

  I thank him and move along towards the barn. Eli is bent over the hood of his car, arms elbow deep inside, cute butt pointed right at me. I take it in the whole time I walk towards him.

  “Hi, Eli.”

  His head pops up, hitting the hood of his car. “Hey. What’s up?” His greasy hand reaches up to rub the spot that was struck.

  “I could ask you the same thing.”

  “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” A shiteating grin breaks out and gives it away.

  “Thank you. I don’t know what you did, when you did it, or how long it took, but thank you.”

  “It’s not a problem. I’ve heard how it runs from clear across the parking lot at school. You wouldn’t have made it much longer without it breaking down on you.”

  “It seems to be running perfectly now.”

  “Good.”

  “Can I pay you for parts or anything?”

  “Nah, I just used some spare parts we had around here. It was no big deal, I promise.”

  “Well, thanks again. So I … um, I guess I’ll see you around then.” I turn and start walking back to my car.

  “You wanna hand me a screwdriver?”

  I smile, thinking of all the times I sat and handed him tools several years ago. “You want a Phillips or a flat head?”

  And that’s the last day we spent together, talking about comic books and superheroes as he worked on his car. Just like old times.

  ***

  A week later I find myself speeding down Eli’s driveway. I slam on the brakes and throw it in park as I scramble out and up to his front door. I bang on it over and over again until it opens. His dad answers, looking just as pissed off as he normally does, only this time I see a little sadness in his eyes. Stale alcohol oozes out of his breath as he speaks. “Can I help you?”

  “Where’s Eli? Is he home?” I can feel the knots in my stomach. I’m trying so hard not to panic until I have some answers.

  Laura had called me and asked if I knew both Eli and Patrick had packed up and left. He wouldn’t leave without telling me first. We had spent the day together just last week; he would have said something.

  Wouldn’t he?

  “Is he home or not, Mr. Stone?” My anger turns to sadness as he starts to confirm my suspicions.

  “I told that ungrateful bastard to leave everything here because it wasn’t his. I paid for all his stuff and it belongs to me, including his fancy new cell phone. He took that car, though. I told him if he left he couldn’t come back.

  Ungrateful bastard!”

  “So it’s true? He’s gone for good?”

  “I have no idea where he went.”

  “No. No.” Eli please don’t leave me! I fall to my knees, breaking down and crying right here on his front porch. Since the first day I met him and he had told me how they’d already moved several different times to different states, I lived in fear that he would move one day, against his will, and leave me all alone again.

  I need him.

  I need his friendship.

  I need him like I need air to breathe.

  And he didn’t even have the courage or heart to tell me good-bye.

  I don’t know how long I cried, it may have only been a few minutes, but eventually I felt someone kneel down next to me. I looked up into a face so similar to Mrs. Stone’s that it was frightening. Sarah placed her hand on my back and looked at me. “I loved him too, Paige,” she said as her own tears started falling. “I loved him too.”

  Chapter 18

  Present Day

  That morning, I awake and lift my head up to see Eli asleep next to me. It’s the most beautiful feeling of nostalgia I’ve ever experienced. My boy has turned into a man and has been returned to me. He looks so peaceful and I love how my body fits perfectly into his. His arm is draped around me and I don’t want to stir and wake him.

  I look at the clock and see I still have another two hours before I have to be at work. I nestle my head back into place and close my eyes, patiently waiting for him to wake up as I lie here and indulge in the fact that I finally belong to Eli, even though it seems I always have.

  “Good morning.”

  “Good morning, Eli. I was wondering when you were going to wake up.”

  “How long have you been up?”

  “Not long. Maybe five minutes.”

  He rolls on his back and I happily oblige as he squeezes me into him even closer. He takes his fingertips and gently runs them up and down my arm. I manage to hold back the goosebumps until he brings his fingers up around my shoulder and down my collarbone. He brushes my hair away from my neck and lightly drags his forefinger around for a little bit while I close my eyes and soak up his touch. He leans forward and places the tiniest of kisses on the sensitive spot of my neck. A whimper escapes and I hold my breath when he does it again. He starts trailing those kisses all the way over to my mouth, lightly pressing his lips to mine and bringing them up to the tip of my nose. I’m starting to think he’s a bit of a romantic until he rapidly starts sprinkling kisses all over my face. I laugh and try to push him off of me. The next thing I know, he’s digging his fingers into my ribs and stomach, tickling me.

  “Stop! Eli, stop. I’m serious, I can’t breathe!” I try removing his hands, but he’s too strong and I’m laughing so hard I can’t concentrate.

  “Okay, I’m done.”

  My laugh finally dwindles and I catch my breath by taking a few deep ones. He takes my hair and pushes it off of my face. I wet my lips as I look up at him, and lift my head, going in for another kiss. He puts his weight on me and I wrap my legs around his waist. His hands find my hair again and he brings my head closer to his, kissing me hard, then goes s
traight for my neck again. I gasp in pleasure. It’s so hard not to beg Eli to take me right here and now.

  I want it.

  We’ve officially been a couple for the past eight hours; that’s a long enough wait to be able to sleep with someone, right? There’s no way in hell I’m waiting another ten. I owe it to myself to experience this with him at least once.

  His heavy breathing slows as he pulls away a little.

  “We should probably stop.”

  “Because it’s too soon?”

  “Hell no! Because I can hear Laura out in the living room and I don’t want her to hear your screams. Those will be for me and only me.”

  I sit up and scoot back a couple of inches towards the wall, arms crossed. “What makes you so sure I’m a screamer?”

  “There’s only one way to find out.” He starts to crawl towards me. “And even if you’re not, you won’t be able to resist with me. I’ll just naturally bring it out of you.”

  “If you’re so sure of yourself, then why does it sound like you’re trying to convince me? Or maybe you’re trying to convince yourself?”

  “Oh, I see how it is. No convincing needed. I will show you, I can promise you that,” he says with a gleam in his eyes.

  Be still my beating heart. “I believe you. But you have set my expectations pretty high now, just so you know.”

  “Challenge accepted.” He collapses onto my stomach and I run my fingers through his short blond hair. I remember all the curls and wonder what it would have been like to play with those.

  “When did you cut your hair? You still had all the curls six months ago.”

  “February, I think. About a month after.”

  “Not a good time of year to have less of something that could potentially keep you warmer.”

  “It was pretty cold, but I needed something different.”

  “I never imagined you with anything but the curls, but this is a really good look for you.”

  “I think I could pull off just about any look.”

  “You’re so full of yourself.” But he’s right. This guy looks good in anything. I continue playing with his hair when suddenly I remember something. “Hey, are you going to Jessica and Derrick’s wedding?”

  “I was going to ask you about that.”

  “I was thinking about going, but I never got to talk to Laura about it.”

  “I’m almost positive you’re both going.”

  “How do you mean?”

  He raises his head and looks at me. “You’re going with me. I’ve already added you as my plus one. And you’ll be very happy to know that, for you, I talked Patrick into adding Laura as his plus one, so we could all go together.” My mouth drops open. “You can thank me later.” He winks at me before laying his head back down. I’m stunned. I’m amazed and pleased, and well, turned on if I’m completely honest.

  “Can I ask when you did that?”

  “Last week sometime.”

  “That was presumptuous of you.”

  “It was. But I did it after you asked me about Laura and Patrick. I thought this might be the best way.”

  “I think you’re right! I can’t wait to tell her. She’s going to shit herself.”

  He looks up at me. “You’re going to tell her? Won’t it be obvious that you told me?”

  “I hope not. I’ll have to think of something. I might even have to lie if that’s what it takes. She didn’t tell me she’s liked him since eighth grade so I’d call that one even.”

  “If they can’t seem to get enough of each other, I’ll throw another party or something to get them in the same place again.”

  “You’re a genius.”

  “I know. And this particular scheme works every time.”

  “Every time?”

  “EVERY time. Were you or were you not at my bonfire?”

  “Excuse me? Are you saying what I think you’re saying?”

  “That I threw a bonfire and invited you and your boyfriend just to get you to come over? Hell yeah, I did.” “Eli that’s nuts.” He never ceases to surprise me.

  “And ridiculously sexy.”

  I grab his face and kiss him, silently thanking him for everything he’s done for me. He’ll definitely have his turn in making up for the things he’s done to me in the past. I’m sure hoping all that will take place in the near future. “Do I even want to know who you threw all those other parties for back in the day?”

  He thinks for a second. “Um, no, probably not.”

  “I don’t care.” I kiss him again. This is my moment and I’m going to dwell in it for as long as I can.

  ***

  “You about ready? They’re on their way.”

  Laura reveals herself from her room, a discouraged look on her face. “I don’t know about this.”

  “You look gorgeous! Spin around for me.”

  “No.”

  “Spin your ass around right now so I can see you.”

  She reluctantly turns. The black dress makes her look feminine and pretty. “Your dress shows off your awesome tattoos and it’s not too short. I think it’s perfect.”

  “I don’t like it.”

  “Who cares what you think? It’s Patrick’s opinion that matters.”

  “I still hate you for that.”

  “What did I do?”

  “You know what you did.” She gives me an evil stare. “I know you had a part in this.”

  “You know nothing. Now grab your purse, our dates are going to be here soon. Ahh! Doesn’t that sound crazy?

  Our dates?” I laugh.

  She shakes her head. “No, it sounds like the noise my vomit is going to make when I see him look at me in this dress.”

  “Just don’t throw up in Eli’s car or he’ll be pissed.”

  “I’m pretty sure he has something to do with this too. Did you guys plan this together?”

  “You’re thinking too much into it. Now come on, they’re probably here.”

  We walk out into the afternoon sun and I see my man waiting for me outside of his car, dressed to the nines in his suit. He looks me up and down in my silver dress that flows down to my toes as I run over to him.

  “My little bookworm, you look ravishing. I could eat you up,” he says as he kisses me. I hear a gagging noise behind me, and never taking my lips away from Eli, I hold up my hand behind my back and give her the finger. I hear Patrick chortle.

  “And you are so handsome.” He smiles at me. “But you knew that already, didn’t you?”

  “It may have crossed my mind.”

  I roll my eyes. “Of course it did.” He opens my door and lets Patrick and Laura scoot into the back, then pushes the seat back, and waits for me to get in before gently closing the door for me. When he takes off towards the church, he reaches over and entangles his fingers into mine, bringing my knuckles to his lips before setting them back down in his lap.

  We see old classmates coming from every which way and piling into the church as we attempt to find a place to park. I guess when you start dating in high school and eventually get married, a lot more people seem to remember you, and your wedding is a big deal. Derrick is outside greeting guests as we arrive.

  “It’s weird to see him all grown up and getting married,” Patrick says.

  “I’m surprised it took him this long. The second he met her, he claimed he was head over heels in love. Dropped us like a bad habit and only spent time with her,” Eli explains.

  “So he knew she was the one right away?” I curiously ask.

  “Instantly.”

  “Wow, good for them. Jessica was always pretty sweet. He’s a lucky guy.”

  “I like to think I’m just as lucky,” Eli says as he puts his arm around my waist. I look behind us at Patrick and Laura who are both lollygagging behind.

  We say hi to Derrick in passing, and the boys exchange a few friendly words before we go inside. The church is lined up with pale pink lilies on the end of each pew. The lacy white liner leading dow
n the aisle is blank and ready to be painted with petals from the two flower girls standing nervously to the side. I recognize so many familiar faces as we’re ushered to our seats. I clutch onto Eli as I realize many of them are looking at us and whispering to each other. I’m sure they’ve all heard about what happened and now we’re together. Let the gossip commence.

  Patrick slides in first, followed by Laura, myself, and then Eli.

  “Ignore them. They’re all just jealous.”

  “I’m sure that’s what they’re saying. How did Eli get her?” I mock.

  “I ask myself the same question.” I roll my eyes at him. I look over at Laura and Patrick, who are not connecting as I’d hoped they would. I have to break this ice.

  “Patrick you should get a tattoo.”

  “I have tattoos.”

  “Ooh sexy! You should get another one. And let Laura give it to you.” Okay, that didn’t come out right. “I mean …” I cover my mouth and start laughing. I can’t help it. Being here with all these people is making me nervous. And the death glare, coming right from Laura isn’t helping. “Sorry, you should let Laura give you a tattoo. She does amazing work.”

  “Do you have any from her?”

  “No.”

  “Well, why not? She’s your best friend and so amazing, yet you have none?”

  “Touché. Guess I’ll have to start thinking about what I want. Anyway, think about it.” Laura is pissed and not saying a word. Me and my big mouth.

  I look to Eli and shrug. He laughs at my feeble attempt to get them talking and puts his arm around my shoulder. “That’s my girl.”

  “I tried. But I’m not done yet,” I whisper.

  “Why don’t you just leave it alone and let that simmer for a bit, huh?”

  “For now.”

  The music starts to pick up and get louder, and we watch as the bridesmaids and groomsmen walk down together, followed by two cute flower girls. We all stand when Jessica comes out and walks down the aisle with her dad. When we sit down, Eli takes my hand and we remain just like that as we watch the wedding until they are pronounced husband and wife.

  As we’re excused from our pews, we all head back to Eli’s car to drive to the Township Hall a few miles away for the reception.

  We enter and find an empty, unreserved table and make or way towards it. “Are you going to dance with me tonight?”