Wings and Faith

by Joy Redmond

  “Amanda, this is Dad. I just called to tell you that your mother is very sick. She has fibroid tumors growing in her lungs. She’s on a lot of medicine but she doesn’t seem to be getting any better. It’s hard for her to breathe, so she can’t talk on the phone. You need to come see her— before it’s too late.”

  “I’m so sorry to hear that, Dad. I talked to her a couple weeks ago. She said she was going to the doctor because she was having chest pains, but since she didn’t call back, I figured she was okay. I can’t come to see her until April. When Abbie is out of school for spring break, we’ll come up. And we’ll bring Kati and her two daughters. I can’t wait to show off my new grandbaby. She’ll be seven months old by then. And you and mother won’t believe how big Tina is.”

  “Well, I just hope April isn’t too late,” he said, and hung up.

  Mandy hung up and her heart hurt for Iris. What a horrible thing it must be not to be able to breath. But he didn’t mention anything about her being on oxygen. Hmmm, now is this just a ploy to get me to come to Kentucky? It’s something like they’d pull, she thought.

  She called information and got the phone number for Iris’s doctor, the same one she’d been seeing for forty-years. She called the office and was surprised when the receptionist said, “Hold on. I’ll ring him.”

  “Dr. Morgan.”

  “Hi. This is Amanda Hodge. I’m calling to inquire about my mother’s health. I know there’s only so much you can tell me without breaking doctor/patient confidentiality, but I just talked to Dad and he said she’s near death. I plan on coming to Kentucky in April, but if she’s that bad, I’ll come now.”

  “She isn’t going to die that soon, I’m pretty sure. But she does have an incurable disease and it will progressively worsen. I’m watching her closely.”

  “So, you don’t think I need to make a rush trip?”

  “I think you should come when you feel the need to, but to answer your question, I think she’ll last until April.”

  “Thank you. That’s all I needed to know.”

  The second week of April, Mandy loaded up the children and headed to Kentucky. As soon as they crossed over the Tennessee state line, Mandy said, “Hey, kids. How would you like to stop in Chattanooga and spend the night with Uncle Don and Aunt Anne? They finally got transferred to a big church there and I’d love to see them.”

  Everybody cried, “Yes!” in unison.

  After making three wrong turns, Mandy finally found Don and Anne’s house. They were overjoyed to see Mandy and the children, and Anne didn’t want to put Leigh down. That evening, Anne cooked a wonderful meal and Danny and Darla came over. It was a wonderful visit.

  The next morning, Mandy hugged Don and Anne. “I’m sure four days is as long as I’ll be able to last with Mother and Dad, so if it’s okay, I’d like to stop and spend the night again on our way back to Georgia.”

  Don’s eyes brightened, “Sure, Sis! You know we want to spend as much time with you and your family as we can. We’ve missed you more than you’ll ever know since you took off to Georgia. I’ve grieved for you.”

  “And so have I,” Anne said. “We still can’t believe you married that man. And we’ll never like him.”

  “I’m happy and I have a wonderful husband. And for the first time in my adult life I don’t have to worry about where my next meal is going to come from. I admit I’m not crazy about South Georgia, but I’ve adjusted.” She kissed them, then hurried on her way.

  When she pulled up in front of the house, Otis was standing at the front door as if he were impatiently waiting. “I wonder how long he’s been standing there. I guess I’ll get a sermon the minute I walk in. Come on, kids. Let’s get this over with,” Mandy said, then reminded herself that she couldn’t be her real self while she was around her parents. This wears me out, she silently said, as she let Mandy’s personality take the lead.

  They all hugged Otis, then followed him to the sitting room. Mandy’s breath caught in her throat when she saw her mother sitting in her rocker, an oxygen tank by her side and tubes up her nostrils. A sharp pang went through her heart. She hugged Iris, and Iris broke down in tears.

  The four days they were there was uncomfortable for Mandy in many ways, but the children seemed to enjoy being in the house that held so many great memories of their childhood. Iris and Otis made a fuss over Leigh, and Mandy wondered when the sermon would start about her being a bastard. Thankfully, they didn’t mention it.

  When it was time to say their goodbyes, Mandy promised that she would be back in June.

  “I’m not sure your mother will last that long,” Otis said and cried.

  “That’s the best I can do, Dad. Abbie is in school and I can’t go off and leave her for a week. Mother will hang on for me. She said she would.”

  Mandy motioned to the children to hurry up and get into the car before her nerves cracked.

  They loaded up and Mandy felt as if she could breathe again as they drove away. Take a break, Mandy. Let Nikko take the lead, and thanks for taking over again.

  The first week of June, Mandy packed, then she and Abbie were on their way back to Kentucky. Kati and her girls didn’t go. Kati had a new boyfriend and she couldn’t seem to tear herself away from him. And she told Mandy that seeing Grandmother in such a sad condition was more than she could bear.

  Mandy and Abbie spent the night with Don and Anne when they reached Chattanooga and made plans to stop on their way back.

  Mandy had talked to Otis on the phone every week since their visit in April, and he had told her that her mother’s condition worsened every day. But Mandy wasn’t prepared for what she saw when she entered her mother’s bedroom.

  Iris was white as chalk, and though she had oxygen tubes in her nostrils, she was gasping. Mandy sat down on the bedside and picked up her mother’s hand. “Hi, Mother,” she said, as she gently caressed the hand that had prepared her meals, sewed her many dresses, and nursed her back to health when she was a child.

  “Well, Amanda. It’s been twenty years since I’ve seen you. You haven’t changed a bit. You’re still as pretty as ever,” Iris said through gasps.

  “I was just here in April, Mother. That was only two months ago. Don’t you remember?”

  “No. I can’t seem to remember anything anymore. Otis has to remember for me.”

  Mandy fought with all the strength she had not to break down.

  Iris looked over at Abbie. “Who is that pretty little girl?”

  “That’s Abbie, Mother. She’ll be fourteen next month. She’s grown a lot and you probably still remember her as a little girl.”

  Abbie burst into tears and ran out of the room.

  For the rest of the day, Iris slept off and on and she didn’t seem to know that Mandy and Abbie were there.

  The next day, Mandy was standing outside by the garage sneaking a smoke when Tony pulled into the driveway. “Son,” she cried, as she stomped the cigarette and ran to his open arms. “It’s so good to see you. You said you and Belinda would be on campus at Western State and you wouldn’t be able to come see me.”

  “Well, there’s been a change in plans. Do you want to sit down before I give you the news,” Tony said with a worried look.

  “I think I can stand. I know it’s bad by the look on your face. So just spit it out. I can take it.” Mandy lit another cigarette.

  “I’m going to be a daddy. Belinda is due in October. I might get a birthday present,” Tony flatly said as he wiped his brow.

  “No, Son. No!” Mandy cried. “You’ll only be twenty-years-old. You—” she stopped herself and held up her hand. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean for my thoughts to spill out of my mouth before I could catch them.” Then she did the math. “You mean she’s already five months along and you’re just now telling me?”

  “I couldn’t work up the courage to tell you. And your reaction doesn’t surprise me, and frankly, I’m not any happier about it than you are. I’ve already dropped out of college. We
’ve got a small apartment and I’ve got a job working as an orderly. The pay is little but at least I can support my wife and child. Barely.”

  Mandy hugged Tony. “Well, we need to get happy about it. Babies are blessings. They just seem to have poor timing.”

  “Is there ever a good time?” Tony asked.

  “My timing wasn’t perfect when I had my babies, according to me, but the Good Lord’s timing is always perfect and I’ve learned not to argue with the Higher Power. Come on in the house. But brace yourself. Grandmother is bad and she might not even recognize you. Her brain is oxygen deprived even though she’s on oxygen. The fibroids are taking up all the space in her lungs.”

  Tony went inside and scooped Abbie into his arms. “I don’t know how much longer I’ll be able to do this. You’re getting so big.”

  “I’m almost fourteen,” Abbie proudly said. She tucked her head. “Grandmother doesn’t even know me.”

  Tony hugged her tightly. “Don’t be offended, honey. She can’t help it. She may not know me either. Come on, we’ll go say hi to her.”

  “No. I don’t want to go back in there,” Abbie said, then headed out the backdoor.

  Mandy went outside with her. “I’ll stay out here with you and we’ll let Tony have his alone time with Grandmother. I’m so sorry that you have to see Grandmother in this condition.”

  Soon, Tony came outside wiping tears. “She knew me, but she’s so pitiful, I can’t stand it. I told her I loved her and I gave her a kiss. I’m going on. I need to get some rest. I don’t sleep much anymore. I just wanted to see you and Abbie. Have a safe trip home, Mama.” Tony kissed Mandy, then Abbie, wiped his eyes again and headed to his car.

  “I’ll be back in October, Son. If I time it right, I’ll be here for the birth of my third grandbaby.”

  “I hope so, Mama,” Tony said, then backed out of the driveway.

  “Godspeed, Son,” Mandy whispered as she watched her son drive away.

  The visit with Iris and Otis was stressful and sad, and after three days, Mandy was ready to leave. She kissed her mother goodbye and promised that she’d be back in October when Abbie was out of school for fall break. Iris didn’t seem to understand.

  Otis walked them to the door. “She won’t last until October. But that’ll be on your conscience. If you can’t come back before then, then you just kissed your mother goodbye for the last time.”

  “I’ll come back first part of August. She’ll hang on for me,” Mandy said. Then she hurried on her way.

  You’re still laying on the guilt trips. And it’s still working, she thought, as she got into the car.

  Chapter Forty

  Mandy called Otis every day to check on her mother’s condition. Every day, Otis would say, “She may not make it through the night,” then promptly hung up.

  Mandy would put the receiver on the hook and mumble, “You’ve been saying that every day since I was there in June. It’s August now. I never know what to believe.”

  Mandy had just finished cooking supper and before she could call Abbie and Gill into the kitchen, the phone rang. She wiped her had on the dish towel, then answered the phone.

  “Amanda, I put your mother in the hospital yesterday morning. If you want to see her before she’s dies, you better hurry up and get here. That’s if you care.”

  “I care, Dad. I’ll be there as soon as I can. Tell Mother that I’m on my way and tell her I said I love her.”

  “She’s unconscious. She won’t hear me.”

  “Well, tell her anyway. She might hear you even if she isn’t able to let you know. You tell her I said to hang on and wait for me. I’ll head your way the first thing in the morning.”

  “Just come straight to the hospital. I stay with her day and night.”

  “I will, Dad. I’ll see you both tomorrow.” She slowly sat down in a chair. Mother, I want you to know that I love you and I’m on my way. And you hang on until I get there. Spirits, take my words to my mother.

  “Supper is on the table,” she called out. When Abbie and Gill were seated and the food was being passed, Mandy told them about her mother. “Abbie, as soon as you eat, go pack a bag. And take a nice dress and shoes. We might be going to a funeral. Gill, do you want to go with me?”

  “I’ve got to work. You know how covered up I stay. And I’ve got some big business deals coming up this week. I can’t just up and leave. It’s our livelihood.”

  “Fine! I was just asking,” Mandy sharply answered. My mother is dying, but your big business deals come first. So be it. I’m used to walking alone. I can still do it. As much as I love you, you can be a real asshole at times, she thought, and dropped her fork. She had no appetite.

  Abbie dropped her fork and ran upstairs.

  Mandy grabbed a pack of smokes off the counter and went outside.

  Gill didn’t come out and she was glad. It really wouldn’t be a good time for you to come out and start with your silk-tongue bullshit. Kiss my ass and don’t make the mistake of touching me later tonight. She sat outside until the mosquitoes seemed to be trying to eat her alive. I hate South Georgia! She thought, as she stubbed out her cigarette.

  Mandy and Abbie pulled out of the driveway at seven o’clock the next morning. “I really hate to drive it straight through. That ten hour drive isn’t as easy to make as it used to be, but we don’t have time to stop and spend the night with Don and Anne. Maybe we can on our way back,” Mandy said.

  Abbie chatted all the way, telling Mandy about all the things she and Grandmother had done together when she was little. “She was a good grandmother.”

  Mandy’s eyes welled. “Yes, she was honey. She was the best grandmother that any child could hope for.”

  Mandy arrived at the hospital at six o’clock that afternoon. She squeezed Abbie’s hand. “Come on, sweetie. This won’t be easy. But we’ll buck up and suck it up. Death is just a part of life—the bad part, but there’s no way around it.”

  “I’ll be okay, Mama. I’ll be strong,” Abbie said.

  Mandy walked to the front desk, where she was greeted by a Pink Lady asking if she could help her. “Yes, I need the room number for Iris Hodge, please.”

  The Pink Lady thumbed through the rolodex, then sweetly said, “Hold on just a minute. I need to go to the nurse’s station.”

  “It’s okay to give me the room number. I’m her daughter. I live in Georgia and I just got into town.”

  The lady walked out from behind the desk and sweetly said, “Please come with me. I’ll take you to a room and a nurse will come in and talk to you.”

  Mandy balked like a mule. “That means she’s dead. When did she die?”

  “Please, just follow me,” the lady said with tears in her eyes.

  “Mama, you don’t know that Grandmother is dead. The nurse just wants to tell us what to expect when we walk into her room. She wants us to be prepared.”

  Mandy didn’t answer; she merely held Abbie’s hand tighter and followed the Pink Lady down the hallway, wondering if her trembling legs were going to carry her all the way.

  Pink Lady opened the door to a small room and said, “Please have a seat. A nurse will be with you shortly.”

  “Abbie, sit down, honey. I want to stand.”

  Just as Mandy finished her sentence, a nurse walked into the room. Before the nurse could say anything, Mandy said, “I know she’s dead, so save me the sympathy speech. I just want to know when she died.”

  The nurse seemed to be a bit shocked by Mandy’s attitude, but she said, “She passed at two-thirty-two this morning. Ross Funeral home came for her body.”

  “Thank you. May I use your phone?” Mandy asked.

  “Sure,” the nurse said, pointing to a phone on a small desk. “May I fix you a cup of coffee?”

  “No thanks,” Mandy answered as she dialed the number.

  The phone rang five times. Just as Mandy was about to hang up, a lady answered the phone. Mandy recognized the voice. “Aunt Lou. Is Dad there? I�
��m at the hospital and I just learned that Mother died this morning.”

  “Yes, he is, sweetheart. We were headed over to the funeral home. Do you want us to wait for you here— or do you want to meet us there? I’m so sorry for your loss. And I’m sorry you were on the road when the Lord took her Home.”

  “Thank you. I’ll meet you at the funeral home. I love you, Aunt Lou. It’ll be so good to see you. It’s been a long time.”

  “I love you too. And it’s been too long since we’ve seen each other. Nothing like a death to bring a family together, I always say. But that’s a good thing. We’ll meet you at Ross’s in a few minutes. Now, you drive carefully. I know you’re in an emotional state.”

  “I will, Aunt Lou. I’ll see you in a few. Tell Dad that I’m so sorry.”

  As the arrangements were being made, the funeral director asked, “Do you have anybody that you want to do her hair?”

  Mandy said, “Yes, I’ll do her hair. I want it in a French twist with her gold comb in the back. That’s the way she wore it the day she came to pick me up at Aunt Lou’s. I want her to look the same way when I say my final goodbye as she did the day I said my first hello, Mandy thought.

  The director wrote it down. Then she looked at Otis and asked, “Do you want somebody to sit up all night with the body?”

  “Oh, yes. Most definitely!” Otis said.

  Mandy was stunned. In this day and time they still have people who sit up with the dead? Do they think the body is going somewhere? she thought, and was surprised that she was able to keep the thoughts inside her head and not let them spill from her mouth.

  After the arrangements had been made, Mandy hugged Aunt Lou and thanked her for being there with her dad. I’ll see you at visitation tomorrow.”

  “I was glad to do it for him. He’s the only uncle I have left.” She chuckled and said, “It’s still strange how we’re related . I’m your aunt by marriage because Carl is your blood-daddy’s brother, and I’m your cousin by adoption because Uncle Otis is my blood-daddy’s brother. There was a time when I wondered if we’d end up being our own grandpa. Remember that old song?”