Ultimate Sin

by Clarissa Wild

  The cashier looks at me as if I’ve lost my mind for wanting to buy so much stuff, but to me, it’s priceless. I guess she wouldn’t be able to understand.

  She puts everything in a bag and I bring it back to the car.

  “Jesus, that’s a lot of stuff,” Daniel says, laughing.

  “Yeah, so?”

  “What’s in it?” He looks at the bag.

  I shrug. “Just some stuff I wanted to try out.”

  “Okay …” He shrugs it off. “Well, it’s almost evening, so I suggest we go find a hotel. I don’t think we’ll make it to the house today.”

  “It’s okay. I don’t mind,” I say, gleefully looking at the bag in the backseat. “I want to try out the stuff I bought anyway.”

  Daniel muffles another laugh and continues to drive. “Whatever makes you happy.”

  I smile, knowing that he isn’t joking. He’s serious when he says that he wants me to be happy.

  And I like that. I like his honesty. His sincerity.

  He really does get me.

  I smile all the way to the hotel where we book a room for two. When we’re in the room, I immediately unpack the bag and throw him his Mounds Bar. “Here.”

  “Yum,” he says, tearing the wrapper and taking a bite. “I’ll never have enough of these.”

  “I have the same but with Snickers.” I groan when I take the first bite.

  We gaze at each other and laugh because it’s funny that we can get so worked up about candy.

  It’s like a little treasure to us. Something we’ve never had but are able to experience freely now. After I’m done, I say, “I’m gonna go try out some of the other things I bought in the bathroom.”

  “Go ahead,” Daniel says, and he drops down onto the bed to test it. “I’m just gonna lie here and chill.”

  I nod and pick up the bag, gleefully running into the bathroom for some private time. I take out the razor and pull it from the package, reading what it says on the backside. Then I put on the water and let it fill up the tub as I pour in some oils. The smell is wonderful as I sink in and use the razor on my legs, just as described on the package. After I’m done, my legs feel so smooth. Just like they said they would. I feel so pampered. If this is what normal people do, I could get used to it.

  After a while, I get out of the bath and grab one of the ultra-soft towels to dry myself. That’s when another one of the products catches my eye. I pick it up and read the text on the back. It talks about symptoms … the exact same ones I’ve been experiencing as of late.

  So I follow the instructions and have a go.

  It takes me a while, but I manage.

  But then someone knocks on my door, almost making me drop it into the toilet.

  “Are you okay in there?” Daniel asks.

  “Yeah … I—”

  I stare at the little stick in my hand.

  The circle slowly turns from one bar into two bars.

  “Oh, God …” I mutter.

  “What’s wrong?” Daniel says.

  Holding the stick in my trembling hands, I unlock the door and let Daniel inside. “I’m… pregnant.”

  ***

  Daniel

  My jaw drops. “What? Are you sure?”

  She shows me the stick. “I peed on it, and according to the box, it says I am.”

  I run my fingers through my hair. “But how …”

  “I don’t know,” she says, lowering her eyes. “I just saw this in the store, and it mentioned my symptoms, so I thought I’d take it with me.”

  “Oh God … it all makes sense now.” I slap my hand in front of my mouth. “You were eating so much and feeling sick all the time. And you slept like crazy.”

  “Yes … that’s why I …”

  It’s almost unbelievable. “But how is it even possible? I thought you couldn’t …”

  She swallows as she looks up at me. “I didn’t think so either. Not for girls like me. I rarely got my period.”

  “But you got one with Master Marcus …” I mutter.

  “Yes,” she says, sucking in a breath. “And we had sex. Lots of times. Without protection … I thought it didn’t matter, girls like me never get pregnant.” She sucks in a breath. “Oh God … I’m pregnant?”

  Her hands instinctively reach down to her belly, and she turns around and stares at herself in the mirror. “I’m carrying a baby.”

  I stand behind her and look at her through the mirror. “If it’s really the truth … do you feel like it’s a good thing?”

  She bites her lip, contemplating it for a second, and then says, “Yeah … it feels … good.” She glances at me over her shoulder. “How do you feel about it?”

  I frown, taken aback by her question. Why would it matter what I think? But then I realize she’s asking me because she genuinely cares about my opinion … because she loves me too.

  I smile and wrap my arms around her. “I want what you want, and if you think this baby feels good … then I think it feels good too.”

  “But what if it isn’t yours?” she says.

  The sudden realization that this could be the case doesn’t faze me. “It doesn’t matter.”

  She looks up at me through the mirror. “Really?”

  “Really. He’s part of you. I love you, so I love him too.”

  “Maybe it’s a her …” she says, grinning.

  “I’ll love her all the same,” I say, pecking Ava on the temple.

  “Are you really okay with it? I think … I think I wanna keep it.” She grabs my hand and places it on her belly. “With you. I want to keep it with you.”

  “You want to raise a child … with me?”

  “I don’t know if we can … but I want to try,” she says.

  Just the idea alone scares me, but I know I can’t say no to this. Not to something that’s growing inside her, that has her very genes. I love everything about Ava, including what’s inside her. And for her to suggest that we raise it together … it only fills my heart with warmth.

  “I’d like that, yeah …” I murmur, resting my chin on her shoulder.

  “Even if it ends up being Marcus’s baby?”

  “Even then …” I say. “I love you, Ava. Nothing’s going to change that, and I will love that baby, even if it isn’t mine. Because if you stay with me and I stay with you, we can raise this baby together. He won’t know any different. I’ll be his father and you’ll be his mother.”

  “Mother … I like the sound of that.” She rocks back and forth in my arms.

  “Father … I’m going to be a father.”

  “Can you imagine?” she muses, a soft laugh coming from her mouth.

  “No, and I sure as hell am not prepared for this. We have a lot of studying to do.”

  “Yeah, but I know we’ll make it. We have to. Because now we’re not alone anymore,” she says. “We’re having a baby.”

  “A baby … wow …” I can barely grasp it, but just thinking about it makes me smile from ear to ear.

  “Do you think we can do this?” she asks after a while.

  “Of course, we can. We’re free now, free to do what we want, how we want it,” I say, and I kiss her on the cheek. “We can do anything we set our minds to, as long as we believe.”

  29

  Daniel

  Weeks later

  Our house is everything we imagined it to be.

  Wood, with a white picket fence, and a beautiful garden out front. We live in a street on the outskirts of the city. Busy, but not too busy … perfect for us.

  Ava picked the colors we painted the interior of the house, a mix of light blue and white, a navy theme, filled with pictures of nature and cultures all around the world. She has great taste, and I love it here.

  We’re living the life of our dreams, and it’s all thanks to Marcus.

  I hate to say it, but it’s true … I owe the man, and I’m grateful that he gave us this opportunity. Even if he was responsible for ruining our lives, he had no obligatio
n to fix it either … yet he did anyway.

  He did his best to give us everything we needed to make our lives work, so I get the sense he isn’t all bad.

  Ava was right. There was more to this man than just lies. Maybe he actually did love her. Maybe he actually did care about us both.

  The proof is in the house … which I am thankful for every day that I wake up. With her by my side, I could call myself the happiest free man on Earth.

  After living here for a week, I got a job at a grocery store. We don’t need the money, but I want to do something meaningful, something to keep me busy during the day other than chores.

  But today, I have a day off, which means staying in bed for far too long and enjoying a late-afternoon breakfast.

  Ava and I went to the doctor the other day and he told us everything is fine as long as she doesn’t stress herself out. But she is indeed pregnant. I’m still getting used to the idea, but when I think about the fact that it’s a part of her, I feel only happiness.

  Holding a cup of steaming coffee, I look at my girl, who has finally agreed to actually ‘be my girl for real’ a few weeks ago. I still don’t know how I managed to get her to agree, but it did include some physical persuasion. Hey, just because she’s pregnant doesn’t mean I have to take my hands off her. On the contrary, her carrying a baby has apparently only made her lust more for me, but I have no complaints.

  I grin thinking about her sweet body as I watch her pick up the laundry and put it in the basket. Some of the bending over makes her groan, though, so I jump in to pick stuff up for her.

  “Oh, you don’t have to help.” She holds onto her belly as if she needs to protect it.

  “But I want to,” I say, and I stuff the clothes into the washing machine myself.

  “Thanks,” she says. “The baby’s been getting so heavy lately. Sometimes, I wonder if there’s two instead of just one.”

  I shrug. “Who knows?”

  She frowns. “What? You’re not actually considering …”

  I make a face and hold up my hands, not really having an answer.

  Her eyes suddenly widen and her jaw drops. “Oh, my God … that’s it.”

  “What?” I say.

  “There must be two.”

  “No … two babies?”

  She grabs my hand. “How else would you explain the two bumps I’ve been feeling in my belly whenever I touch it? You’ve felt it too.”

  “Yeah, but that could just be because he’s spreading his legs.”

  “No, there were like … four hands. I thought he may have shifted really fast, but what if there are really two?”

  I put my hand on my forehead. “Oh God …”

  “What? Not good?” she says, smiling.

  “I thought I could barely handle one baby, let alone two.”

  She squeezes my hand and kisses me on the cheek. “You’ll do fine. You make a great boyfriend. You’ll make a great father too.”

  “Boyfriend?” I raise my brow. “So you’re finally admitting I am your boyfriend?”

  She rolls her eyes. “Didn’t we go over this last week too?”

  “Yeah, but I never tire of it. In fact … the more you say it, the more I’ll be able to handle all of this.”

  She sighs. “Yes, you’re my boyfriend, Daniel, and you’ll be a good father.”

  “You think I’m good?” I grab her and pull her into my arms.

  “Very good.”

  My forehead leans against hers as I growl seductively. “I like the sound of that. As a matter of fact, I think we should test whether I’m still just as good as you think I am.”

  I press a hot, luscious kiss on her lips, and she smiles, suppressing a laugh. “I don’t think I’ll ever get used to it.”

  “You’d better because I’m not going anywhere.”

  “Not even if it turns out to be two babies?”

  “Damn, not even if it were five of them would you be able to scare me away.”

  She chuckles, and then I smash my lips back on hers, not intending to ever let her go again.

  I need her and she needs me, and that will never change.

  Not now. Not ever.

  ***

  Ava

  Months later

  Turns out my hunch was on the spot.

  When I give birth at the local hospital, the pain is immense, but nothing compares to the joy I feel the moment I see my baby’s face for the first time. And not one … but two little smiles greet me back as I say hi with teary eyes.

  I can’t believe it … I’m a mother.

  When I hold them, everything around me ceases to exist.

  All I can think of are these two precious little beings … one girl, one boy. Perfect in every way.

  I will love them until the day I die.

  I realize then that I was never even alive, not until I met these two angels.

  Seeing them lie in my arms, I finally feel like I am who I’m supposed to be. I am not alive for myself but for them. For all the joy they will feel. For all the horrible memories they will never, ever have.

  I thought I had lost my purpose, but now, I found it in them. My life has meaning … because they exist because of me, and I will protect them with all my heart and guide them just as I was guided to live this life with love.

  And as I look at the little girl and see Daniel’s red hair, I smile and look up at her father. “It’s you,” I say. “She’s yours.”

  Daniel brushes away a tear in his eyes. “She’s mine … I’m a father.”

  “You’re a father now. A real father.” I hand the little one to him, and he holds her close to his chest, supporting her little head as if it comes naturally to him. I can tell from the way he looks at the girl that he’ll love her as much as I do.

  “I don’t care,” Daniel says. “Whether you carry my genes or not, it doesn’t matter. I will love you. And I’ll love him.” He looks at the little boy and smiles, and I do too.

  “They’re so beautiful,” I say, looking down at him.

  And when he opens his dark, brown eyes and stares back at me, I see a familiar face staring back at me.

  “He’s his,” I whisper, pressing a kiss to his forehead.

  Daniel gazes at me while shushing the baby in his arms. “And he’s perfect. They both are. And you know what? Now, you’ll always have Marcus with you … inside him.”

  I look at the little boy, and he wraps his tiny hand around my finger. “I thought I’d lost him, but you’re here now … you’re here, and so is he.”

  Looking at him, I realize Marcus gave me the most beautiful blessing there is.

  This little boy right here is proof of his love for me.

  I didn’t lose him. I never did. He lives on inside him.

  And he lives on inside my heart.

  ***

  Daniel

  A year later

  I place our little girl back in her bed and sing a song to her until her eyes close then tuck her in. Turning off the light, I close the door until only a small gap is left and then I make my way to our room.

  Ava is sitting on the bed, singing a bedtime song for our son who seems tired and ready to go to sleep. They look so angelic together. I never imagined it, when I first met Ava, that I would be having a baby with her and that we’d be living together like normal people. But now that it’s my reality, I wouldn’t want anything else.

  In fact, I can’t imagine a life without either of the three anymore.

  We belong together, and I feel more at home here than I ever felt before.

  Our past is long behind us … all there’s left to look forward to now is our future.

  And I suspect that I’ll be carrying said baby to his bed in the very near future, which means now.

  “Shall I put him in his bed too?” I ask, smiling at Ava.

  She hands him to me. “Don’t wake her up.”

  “I won’t,” I say, and I take him down and tuck him in too. I kiss them both, reminding myself ho
w good I have it now that everything is falling into place. My life finally makes sense again, and it’s all thanks to Ava.

  Or thanks to Marcus because, ultimately, he’s the one who gave us back our freedom.

  And I can’t hate him for that. I really can’t hold onto my anger anymore … all I feel is thankfulness, knowing what he sacrificed to give us our freedom back.

  I make my way back upstairs to Ava, who’s still sitting on the bed. I sit down beside her and grab her hand. “You know … when you’re sitting there all tired, looking at me like that … it really makes me want to kiss you.”

  A smile tugs at her lips. “What’s stopping you?”

  I grin, and I lean in, grab her face, and press my lips to hers.

  Heaven. That’s the only thing that comes to mind when I taste her.

  And I’m living it here on Earth with her.

  When I take my lips off hers, she licks her lips and says, “I’ll never have enough of that.”

  “Me neither …” I murmur, and I lean my forehead against hers.

  She smiles at me and then stares out in front of her to the box lying on the table next to the door. Her eyes never leave the box, so after a while, I get up and grab it for her.

  “This is what you want, right?” I ask, placing it in her hands.

  She looks down at it, her fingers brushing over the lid. “I think … I think I’m ready now.”

  I nod at her as she looks at me with questioning eyes, and then she opens the box. Sighing, she picks up the envelope and pulls the note out. I hold her hand tight as she takes in a deep breath and starts to read.

  30

  Ava

  Ava,

  By the time you read this, I will already be gone from your life, whether it be due to you leaving or my death. I wanted to leave this to you as a final gift.

  By now, you’ll know my brain tumor is incurable. I never told you about my sickness, and for that, I’m sorry. It was never my intention to hurt you. I merely wanted to save you from the pain you had to go through knowing I wouldn’t always be there for you. At least, not physically.