Many a Tear has to Fall

by Joan Jonker

  ‘It was a very good story, Dolly. In fact it’s meself that would go as far as to say it was one of yer best.’ Bridie couldn’t stop laughing inside as her imagination ran riot. In her mind’s eye she could visualise Dolly slipping on a patch of ice, her arms waving in the air, and a man rushing forward to help. Only Dolly’s seventeen stone was too much for him and he ended up on his back, vowing never to try and be a gentleman again because it didn’t pay. ‘And when I tell Paddy tonight he’ll laugh his head off. I might even embellish it a little to make it more interesting.’

  Dolly’s eyes became slits. ‘Are you two having a bleedin’ laugh at my expense?’

  Ann feigned horror. ‘Good heavens, of course not! Why would me and Bridie want to laugh at you?’

  ‘It’s these bleedin’ long words ye’re using that I’ve never heard in me flaming life! Like, what is Bridie going to do to me story when she’s telling Paddy? All I could understand was that it had something to do with me belly, and I think it’s getting a bit too personal for my liking. I mean, what’s my belly got to do with Paddy?’

  ‘Sure, I never mentioned yer belly, me darlin’, yer must have misheard me. What I said was that I might embellish it a little to make it more interesting.’

  Dolly tapped her fingers on the table. ‘Embellish, eh? Well, would yer kindly explain to me what it means, so I can try it on me unsuspecting husband?’

  Bridie thought long and hard, her eyes rolling from side to side as she tried to find the right words to explain. Then her smile came. ‘It means to add something nice.’

  ‘Go ’way! Well, yer live and learn, don’t yer? So in bed tonight, if my feller is feeling frisky, which is once every blue moon, like, I can safely tell him to embellish it?’

  Ann had just taken a drink of tea, and when she roared with laughter it spurted out and just missed Dolly by inches. ‘Oh, I’m sorry about that, but if I’d tried to swallow it I’d have choked. You’ll have to warn me in future, Dolly, when you’re going to say anything outrageous so I can be prepared.’ She saw the gleam in her neighbour’s eye and knew what was coming. ‘Before you ask, ambidextrous means someone who can use both hands equally well.’

  ‘Well, I’ve learnt a valuable lesson today, girls,’ Dolly said, ‘and I’m going to share me new-found knowledge with me husband. Tonight in bed, after I’ve told him to embellish, I’ll tell him to be ambidextrous at the same time.’

  ‘What would yer do with the woman?’ Bridie asked, pretending to be shocked. ‘Sure, yer’d be afraid to take her anywhere, so yer would.’

  A wicked gleam came to Dolly’s eyes. ‘Afraid to take me anywhere! Me what’s ambidextrous and can embellish like no one’s business? Yer don’t know how lucky yer are having a friend like me.’

  ‘Oh, we know that, right enough, me darlin’,’ Bridie said, getting to her feet and pushing her chair back under the table. ‘We know when we’re well off.’

  Dolly pulled a face. ‘The party’s over, is it? Back to the bleedin’ grind. Life’s a bugger, isn’t it?’ She levered herself up, then thought of something to keep them there a little longer. ‘Ay, I never hear anything about the queer one next door. How are yer getting on with her?’

  Ann spread her hands and shrugged her shoulders. ‘I never see the woman! She takes off occasionally and makes a racket, but she’s a lot quieter than she was. And she doesn’t throw so much over the wall now. Theresa talks to the eldest boy if she’s in the street when he comes home from work, and Madelaine will if she’s not with one of her mates. According to them both he’s a nice boy but rather shy. I had to laugh at Theresa when she saw him coming home from work for the first time in long trousers. She said he looked real grown up and very handsome, and she’d told him so.’

  ‘I think your Tess could melt the heart of the divil himself,’ Bridie said. ‘She has a way with her that’s rare in young girls today. Most of them are too old in the head for their age.’

  ‘I’m going,’ Dolly said with determination. ‘Sitting here thinking about me washing isn’t going to get it done.’ At the door she turned. ‘Let me get this straight now. It’s embellish and ambidextrous, right?’

  When both women nodded, she grinned. ‘I’ll use them on my feller in bed tonight and I’ll let yer know how I get on. If I’ve got a cob on me don’t ask, ’cos it’ll mean it was one of those nights when he had a splitting headache.’

  One look at Tess when she came home was enough to tell Ann her daughter was worse than she’d been that morning. ‘I should never have let you go to school, you’re not fit.’

  Maddy unwound her scarf and threw it on the couch. ‘Miss Harrison said to tell you that Tess has been coughing and sneezing, and she’s got a temperature. She said it would be advisable to keep her home for a few days. There’s four other girls in her class off with the same thing.’

  Ann helped her daughter off with her coat. ‘I’ll make a bed up on the couch where you’ll be nice and warm. But sit at the table for now and try to eat the sandwiches.’

  ‘I’m not hungry, Mam.’

  ‘Try and eat them for my sake, love. Even if it’s only one, that would help. I’ll make a rice pudding for you this afternoon, you’ll enjoy that.’

  ‘Shall I pour the tea out while you’re making the couch up for Tess?’ Maddy asked. ‘I’ve only got twenty minutes.’

  ‘That would be a help, love.’ Ann put a hand on her elder daughter’s shoulder. ‘Do you feel all right, Madelaine? No sign of a cold or the shivers?’

  ‘No, I feel as fit as a fiddle! But I’d say half the girls in our class have got colds. The one who sits next to me, Miriam, has done nothing all morning but blow her nose. I just hope she doesn’t pass it on to me, I don’t want to stay off school now because I need a good reference for when I go after a job, and good timekeeping is important.’

  ‘Yes it is, love, but I don’t think you need have any fears on that score, you must have a good record for attendance and punctuality.’

  ‘I’ll never get a job with my record,’ Tess moaned, sitting on the couch and looking very dejected. ‘I’m off school more than I’m in.’

  ‘There’s two years for you to make up for lost time, and you’ll do it,’ Ann said with conviction. ‘You’ve gone seven or eight months without any problems, and as Madelaine said, half the school have got colds so you’re not on your own this time.’

  When Ann went upstairs to fetch some bedding, Maddy patted the chair next to her. ‘Come and sit here and try to eat a sandwich.’

  Tess felt as though her body was filled with cement, it was so heavy. And her headache was making it difficult to keep her eyes open. She sat next to her sister and rested her head on the table. ‘Why does it always happen to me?’

  ‘Don’t start feeling sorry for yourself, Tess, or you’ll make yourself really miserable. And to make Mam happy, try and eat a sandwich. And while you’re doing that, I’ll tell you how lucky you are.’ Maddy waited until her sister had picked up a piece of bread, then continued, ‘I know I don’t get colds or have to stay off school, but neither have I ever had a story I’ve written printed in a magazine! That’s a real achievement, Tess, better than anything I’ll ever do.’

  Her sister seemed to perk up and take an interest. ‘Yes, I am lucky, aren’t I?’ But she wasn’t going to be selfish and sing her own praises. ‘I’ll never be as clever as you, Maddy, you shine in every subject and can knock spots off me.’

  ‘Seeing as I’m two years older than you, I’d be in a pretty pickle if I didn’t know more than you do! You can learn a lot in that time and in the end you’ll probably leave me standing.’

  Tess leaned sideways to give her a hug. ‘I’ll never leave you standing, Maddy, never! You’re my big sister and I love you.’

  Upstairs, Ann pulled the eiderdown off the bed and folded it in four to put over her arm. Then on top of that she put two pillows. When she got to the top of the stairs she found she couldn’t see her feet, and with both arms full couldn
’t use the banister to help negotiate the steep stairs. So she called down, ‘Madelaine, would you catch these two pillows for me, please, before I trip and break my neck?’

  ‘I’ll come up, Mam!’

  ‘No, stand at the bottom and I’ll throw them to you.’ Ann was pleased to see Theresa eating, even though she didn’t seem to be enjoying it. ‘You’ll be nice and warm and comfortable on here. Better than in your bedroom where the draughts nearly blow you off your feet.’

  ‘Can’t I sleep in my bed tonight? I don’t want to leave Maddy on her own, she’ll be cold without me to cuddle up to.’

  Ann plumped up the pillows and spread the eiderdown over the couch. ‘You should really stay in the same temperature if you want to get better. But we won’t talk about that now, we’ll see what your dad has to say.’

  Maddy could see her sister wasn’t well pleased, so she quickly tried to take her mind off the subject. ‘While I’m at school, bored to death with a history lesson, you’ll be as snug as a bug in a rug.’ Then, as though she’d just had a brain wave, she said, ‘Hey, what about doing some writing? You’ve got plenty of paper and pencils, so you’ve no excuse and it will help you pass the time.’

  ‘Ooh, I wouldn’t know what to write about and my head’s all fuzzy.’

  ‘It won’t be after our mam gives you a Beecham’s Powder and you’ve been lying down for a while. And I know what you can write about, you’ve talked about it often enough.’

  ‘What’s that, Maddy?’

  ‘Mrs Lizzie and her talking rose.’ Maddy was smiling encouragement. ‘But you can’t use Mrs Lizzie’s swear words, though.’

  That brought a smile to the flushed face. ‘That would be nice. Mrs Lizzie wouldn’t mind, would she, Mam?’

  ‘Mind! She’d be over the moon! Very honoured in fact.’ Ann opened the door of the cupboard in the recess at the side of the fireplace and brought out a clean nightdress. ‘I’ll put this on the fireguard to warm through. Now drink your tea, Theresa, and I’ll get you settled down. I haven’t got a Beecham’s Powder in, so I’ll have to run to the corner shop. You’ll be all right on your own for five minutes.’

  ‘I can bring one in on my way home from school, Mam, save you going out.’ Maddy was getting herself wrapped up against the cold wind outside. ‘I’ll run all the way home.’

  Ann thought of how worried she would be leaving her younger daughter in the house on her own. What would happen if a spark flew out of the hearth and the rug caught fire? ‘That’s a good idea, you can get a packet while you’re at it.’ From her purse she took a shilling. ‘I don’t know how much they are but that should be plenty.’

  Maddy bent and put the silver coin in her shoe. ‘It’ll be safe there.’ She kissed Tess on the cheek. ‘I hope you feel better by the time I get home.’

  Nellie Bingham heard her neighbour’s door open and flew to the window. She moved the curtain aside and pressed her forehead against the glass pane. It wasn’t that she was being nosy, but she had no one to talk to all day, so taking an interest in the goings-on in the street was her pastime. She saw Maddy step down on to the pavement and heard Ann saying, ‘Don’t forget the Beecham’s, love, Tess needs them to bring her temperature down.’

  Once Maddy was out of sight, Nellie let the curtain drop back into place. She returned to the rocking chair at the side of the fireplace, thinking the young girl next door must be sick. This brought back memories that had torn her apart for the last six years. She tried to keep them at bay because they hurt so much, but every now and again something happened to trigger them off. Rocking the chair gently back and forth, she stared at the flickering flames as the tears ran unchecked down her cheeks.

  George was in a happy frame of mind when he came home that night. He had some good news which would delight his wife. The broad smile on his face when he let himself in faded as soon as he saw his daughter lying on the couch. His eyes went to Ann. ‘What’s wrong with Tess, is she ill?’

  ‘She’s got a heavy cold, but she’s not on her own because a lot of the children have come down with it. I’ve given her a Beecham’s and she’s had a dish of rice pudding.’

  George hung his coat up before sitting on the edge of the couch. ‘I won’t touch you, pet, because my hands are freezing. D’you feel any better since you had the Beecham’s?’

  ‘Yes, Dad, my head isn’t so full. And I ate every bit of the rice pudding and really enjoyed it. Especially the skin off the top, that’s my favourite.’

  ‘If I’d been here you would have had to share it with me,’ Maddy said jokingly. ‘I love the skin as well.’ She glanced at her mother. ‘D’you think it’s worth me getting a cold, Mam? Is there room on the couch for two?’

  ‘There’s many a true word spoken in jest, love, so think on.’

  When Ann went to the kitchen to put out the dinners, George followed her. ‘I had a bit of good news today, love. Mr Fisher called me into his office and told me I’d been given a half a crown rise to start from this Saturday.’

  She put her arms around his neck. ‘Oh, that’s marvellous news. You definitely deserve a kiss for that.’ And her kiss held all the love she had for him. ‘The way things are going we should be able to have a full week in Wales this year.’

  ‘That’s what I was thinking. Let’s tell the girls, eh? Maddy will be delighted and it will cheer Tess up. It will give us all something to look forward to.’

  Willy Bingham stamped his feet to keep the circulation going. He was frozen to the core, but he wanted to meet Jack coming home from work to tell him their mam had been crying. He’d asked her why she was crying but she’d just said she felt out of sorts. He knew this wasn’t true, but at thirteen years of age he wasn’t capable of finding the words that might comfort her and stop the crying.

  ‘What are yer doing out here on yer own? Why aren’t yer in by the fire?’

  Willy jumped when his father came up behind him. ‘I was waiting for our Jack.’

  ‘Get in the house before yer turn into a block of ice.’ When his son seemed reluctant, Joe asked, ‘What’s wrong, son?’

  ‘Me mam’s been crying and I didn’t know what to do. Something must have happened to upset her and I was waiting for our Jack so I could go in with him.’

  ‘Yer should be used to yer mam by now, and yer know she can’t help it.’ Joe Bingham sighed for the life that might have been. He put his arm around his son’s shoulders and pulled him close. ‘If it’s company yer want, let’s go in together.’ He turned the key in the lock and shouted, ‘I’m home, love.’

  ‘In the kitchen! I’m just seeing to yer dinner.’

  Joe ruffled his son’s hair. ‘Get that coat off, son, and sit near the fire. Yer must be frozen standing out there.’ He chucked the boy under the chin before making his way to the kitchen. ‘Everything all right, love?’

  Nellie kept her back to him. ‘Same as usual. The bleedin’ weather would get yer down.’

  ‘Willy said yer seemed out of sorts, is that right?’

  ‘No, I’m all right,’ Nellie told him quietly. ‘It’s been one of those days when I don’t seem to be able to buck meself up. But I’ll get over it, it’s a case of having to.’

  ‘I’ll tell yer what, I’ll stay in tonight. Instead of going to the pub I’ll get a couple of bottles of beer in and we can have a game of cards. How does that sound?’

  ‘Yer’d get more pleasure out of going to the pub than yer would staying in with me. I’m not fit company for anyone.’

  ‘I’d rather stay in with you and the boys. They enjoy a game of cards, and they’ll be glad of something to do, because they don’t get out much.’

  Nellie knew this was a gentle reminder that they hadn’t been the best of parents to their sons for a long time. ‘Yes, you stay in and we’ll play cards. I’d like that.’

  Lizzie arrived unexpectedly about eight o’clock. ‘I just slipped out to the corner shop for a quarter of mint imperials, and Fred, behind the counter, said Tess was si
ck. Why didn’t yer send Maddy down to tell me?’

  Ann gawped. ‘How did Fred know?’

  ‘I told him, Mam!’ Maddy said. ‘Well, he asked me who the Beecham’s were for and I could hardly tell him to mind his own business.’

  Lizzie bustled to the couch. ‘Ah, yer poor thing, what’s wrong with yer?’

  ‘I’ve got a cold, but it’s only going to last a few days.’ Tess was pleased to see her favourite friend. ‘I’m glad you’ve come, Mrs Lizzie, ’cos I want to ask you something.’

  ‘Hang on a minute, queen! Let’s get this cold sorted out. How d’yer know it’s only going to last a few days? Are yer in the know with someone?’

  Tess giggled. ‘I’ve told it I’ll be good and do as I’m told, but it must be gone by the weekend ’cos I want to go back to school on Monday.’

  ‘Oh, I see.’ Lizzie nodded as though impressed. ‘I’ll have to tell my feller to put his foot down and have a good talk to himself. He’s coughing and sneezing like mad, but it hasn’t stopped him going to the pub. Even the rose passed remarks about it. “There can’t be much wrong with him if he can go out boozing, so he’ll get no sympathy from me.” That’s what she said, queen, if I never move from this spot.’

  ‘It was the rose I wanted to ask you about, Mrs Lizzie. Our mam said you wouldn’t mind, that you’d be over the moon, honoured even, but I thought I’d better ask. I mean, it’s only manners to ask, isn’t it?’

  ‘Well now, it all depends what ye’re asking for, queen. Like, if yer asked someone for a loan, they might tell yer to sod off. Whereas if yer asked them to a party, then they would be over the moon, and honoured even.’

  ‘It’s neither, Mrs Lizzie. I just wanted to ask if you’d mind if I wrote a story about your rose. It was Maddy’s idea, and she said to call it “Mrs Lizzie’s Paper Rose”. I’ve started on it already, but I’ll stop if you don’t like the idea.’

  Lizzie was already preening. ‘Yer mean a story like the one yer wrote, what got put in that magazine?’

  Tess thought for a few seconds, then said, ‘Well, it’s a different kind of story, and it won’t be put in a magazine.’