Many a Tear has to Fall

by Joan Jonker

  ‘How d’yer know it won’t, queen? I bet yer never thought the other one would be, did yer? Yer never know yer luck in a big city, is what my old ma used to say. And I don’t half fancy seeing me name in print.’ She raised her head and looked down her nose. ‘I’d strut down this street like a bleedin’ peacock. And it would be God help my feller, ’cos I’d be murder to live with.’

  ‘Don’t get carried away, Lizzie, it’s only a little story about a rose on your wallpaper. It won’t propel you to stardom.’ George could see how Tess had brightened up and believed Lizzie was a better tonic for her than any medicine. ‘Mind you, as your ma used to say, you never know your luck in a big city.’

  ‘That’s what she used to say, George, but she never found any bleedin’ luck, ’cos she never had two ha’pennies to rub together.’

  ‘I’ll try and have it finished for when you come on Saturday, Mrs Lizzie, and you can tell me what you think of it.’

  ‘I’ll do that, queen, with pleasure. But don’t forget, in your story Mrs Lizzie has got to be tall and slim, and very beautiful.’ She glared at George when he burst out laughing. ‘Well, smart-arse, a girl can dream, can’t she?’

  When Saturday came, Ann was as eager as Tess for Lizzie’s knock. She thought her daughter’s story was absolutely brilliant. As she’d said to George the night before, it was a God-given talent their younger daughter had and they should nurture it. No one would believe it had been written by a young girl, not yet twelve years of age, as she lay on the couch with a runny nose. It was very funny, yet there was pathos there as well. And Theresa had described Lizzie perfectly. The way she walked, talked and chuckled. You could actually see her in your mind as you read. Ann thought it was brilliant and was so proud. But then it was her daughter, so she was biased. It needed someone not so close to give their verdict.

  When the familiar figure passed the window, Ann beat Maddy to the front door. ‘Well, this is a welcoming committee!’ Lizzie looked pleased. ‘Have yer come into money?’

  Ann pulled her inside. ‘We’ve all been on pins waiting for you. Theresa wouldn’t read the story to us until you came. We’ve all read it of course, but we wanted to hear her read it aloud.’

  Tess was sitting on the couch with just a small blanket over her knees. She looked a bit pale but the sniffles and shakes had gone. ‘I told you, didn’t I, Mrs Lizzie? Saturday and I’m nearly over it. I’ll be in school on Monday.’

  Ann helped her friend off with her coat. ‘Now sit down in my chair and make yourself comfortable while Theresa performs for us. No, performs isn’t the right word, but it doesn’t matter, it’ll have to do.’

  There was no shyness about Tess, nor was there any sign of showing off. She read from the sheet of paper as though it was something she did all the time. When she was talking about Lizzie she used one voice, then changed to a higher one for the rose. And when there were bursts of laughter, she would pause until it died down. Eyes were not on Tess, though, they were on Lizzie. Her expressions matched those described in the story. She held her head high, chuckled loudly, nodded when she recognised something she’d said, and didn’t see or hear anyone else but the young girl who was holding her spellbound.

  There was a ripple of applause when Tess had finished, her face glowing with pride. ‘Was that all right, Mrs Lizzie?’

  ‘I’m lost for words, queen! Speechless, as they say. Ay, and I didn’t half like what yer said about me hair being the colour of the sun. Makes me sound as though I’ve got a halo around me head.’ Lizzie left the chair to give Tess a kiss. ‘No kidding, queen, I never imagined anything so good. If yer don’t grow up to be a writer, I’ll eat me bleedin’ hat.’

  ‘I didn’t know you had a hat, Mrs Lizzie,’ Maddy said. ‘I’ve never seen you in one.’

  ‘I haven’t, queen, but if push came to shove, I could buy one. There’s a stall at Paddy’s market what sells second-hand ones for a couple of coppers. Some of them are green with age, like, and yer can’t tell what colour they’ve been, but I wouldn’t mind, I’m not that proud.’

  ‘Ooh, you shouldn’t wear anyone else’s hat, Mrs Lizzie.’ Tess pulled a comical face. ‘You never know who had it before.’

  ‘As I’ve said, queen, I’m not proud. I mean, what’s a couple of fleas between friends?’

  Chapter Twenty-three

  The winter was a long one, lasting until the end of March. People could be heard complaining that it was the worst winter they’d known, with lots of rain and wind, and skies so dark they made you feel miserable. But in the first week of April it seemed as though someone had waved a magic wand and suddenly there was spring in the air, bringing the smiles back to people’s faces. The street became alive again, with neighbours standing on their doorsteps chatting and being brought up to date with news and goings-on. They were able to discard their heavy winter clothes, with mufflers and gloves being stored away until the following winter. Even though Lizzie warned, ‘Keep yer winter undies on, queen, ’cos yer know the old saying about never casting a clout until May is out.’

  Then May came, and with it the sunshine. The nights were light so the children were allowed to play out longer . . . boys with their ollies and kick-the-can, and the girls skipping or playing hopscotch. Tess had mastered the art of skipping now and it was her favourite game. But Maddy felt she was too old for childish games, and her only reason for going out was to see James Cobden. He was working now, and thought of himself as very grown up in his long trousers. He was a nice-looking boy, tall, fair-haired, blue-eyed and sporting a very attractive dimple in his chin. And when Ann had been concerned about his knocking on the door one night and asking if Maddy could come out, she was soon won over by his good manners and neat appearance. After all, they were only kids, and they never moved away from the house, so what harm could come of it?

  And it was a regular occurrence now for Tess to stop Jack Bingham on his way home from work and have a chat. He wasn’t so shy with her now; working with men had brought him out a lot. But although she’d tried, Tess couldn’t get near to his mother. She always said hello whenever they met, had even knocked to see if their neighbour wanted any messages, but a grunt was the only answer she ever got. This saddened the girl, because she liked everyone to be happy and friendly. But she wasn’t going to give up trying, because she sensed that in Mrs Bingham’s heart there was a lot of unhappiness.

  ‘Only two months to go, and I’ll be nearly fourteen and leaving school.’ Maddy was leaning against the wall outside their house, talking to James and Billy. ‘And we’ve booked for a week’s holiday in Wales, so I’ve also got that to look forward to.’

  ‘You’re not the only one, Maddy, so don’t be swanking,’ Tess said, letting the skipping rope fall loose over her feet. ‘I’ve got a birthday around the same time as you, and I’m going on holiday as well.’

  ‘And you’ve got something else to look forward to,’ her sister told her. ‘I’ll be giving you a penny pocket money when I start work.’

  ‘Aren’t yer going to look for a job before yer go on holiday?’ James asked. ‘Yer’d be soft not to, ’cos if yer don’t, all the jobs might be taken. There’s a lot of kids leaving school and they won’t all find work.’

  ‘We’ve talked about that. I don’t want to miss the holiday, but neither do I want to miss the chance of finding work. Dad said I should leave it until next month, then have a word with the headmistress and ask her advice.’

  ‘If yer get a job in a factory, yer’d be off those two weeks anyway, ’cos they all close down.’ Billy was leaving school himself in the summer, but he’d already been promised a job as an apprentice carpenter with the firm his dad worked for. ‘I’m dead lucky getting a job with me dad. I’ll only be working two weeks and then I’ve got the two weeks off.’ He kicked the wall with the toe of his shoe. ‘Mind you, I won’t get paid for them weeks, worse luck.’

  ‘I won’t be getting paid either,’ James said, pulling a face. ‘Yer’ve got to have worked t
here a year before yer even get paid for one week.’

  ‘Count yourself lucky you’ve got a job with prospects,’ Maddy said. ‘You’ll be on decent money when you’ve served your time.’

  ‘Yeah, in six years’ time!’ James knew she was right, because his mam and dad were always drumming into him how lucky he was. ‘It’s a long time to wait.’

  The Binghams’ front door opened and Jack stepped down on to the pavement. ‘Hiya, Jack!’ Tess put the two wooden handles of the skipping rope into one hand. ‘Are you going out somewhere?’

  ‘Only to the corner shop.’ The lad looked embarrassed when he saw the other two boys. ‘Me dad wants a packet of ciggies.’

  ‘Hello, Jack,’ Maddy said. ‘You know James and Billy, don’t you?’

  He nodded. ‘I’ve seen them around.’

  Maddy gave James a sly kick and a knowing look. It had the required effect. ‘Hello, Jack, I believe ye’re working now?’

  ‘Yeah, doing a bit of painting and wallpapering. Or at least I’m trying to.’ His discomfort was obvious. ‘I’d better go, me dad will be waiting for his ciggies.’

  ‘I’ll come with you,’ Tess said. ‘It’ll give me something to do.’ Before he could object, she fell into step beside him. ‘Did you get on all right in work?’

  ‘Yeah, I quite like it. Not that I’m doing much, all they’ve got me doing is rubbing paintwork down and scraping paper off walls. But I’m keeping me eye on what’s going on all around me, taking it all in, like. Me dad said I’ll learn a lot by just watching the skilled men.’

  ‘And what does your mam say? Does she say your dad’s right?’

  Jack chuckled. ‘Me mam said this time next year she expects me to be good enough to decorate our living room. I hope she’s right, ’cos I’d like to do it for her.’

  ‘I’ve tried to make friends with your mam, but I don’t think she likes me.’

  Jack stopped in his tracks. ‘Why, what’s she said to yer?’

  ‘That’s just it, she hasn’t said anything! She won’t talk to me! I don’t know how she can’t like me, ’cos I haven’t done anything to upset her.’

  Jack dropped his head and was silent for a while. When he looked up he said, ‘If I tell yer something, will yer promise not to tell anyone?’

  ‘I’ll try not to tell anyone, but sometimes my mouth runs away with me. If it’s a secret, though, I will keep it to myself.’

  ‘Well, me mam hasn’t always been the way she is now. She used to be full of fun, and never had a fight or anything with the neighbours where we used to live. She used to always be singing and laughing. Then something terrible happened and she’s never been the same since.’ His voice broke and it was a while before he could bring himself to speak. ‘I was eight at the time, and our Willy seven. We had a baby sister who was five. Her name was Enid.’

  Tess’s voice was high with surprise. ‘You’ve got a sister?’

  He shook his head. ‘She died the week she was to start school. Me mam thought it was just a cold she had, but it turned into pneumonia and she died.’ He heard the girl’s sharp intake of breath and wondered briefly if he was doing the right thing. But he wanted her to know why his mother acted the way she did. Often over the years, when his mam had been fighting and screaming in the street, he’d wanted to tell everyone how she’d suffered so they’d understand. But until now he’d never been able to find the right words. ‘Me mam was out of her mind, and me dad, ’cos they thought the world of her. So did me and Willy, she was our little sister and we loved her. But me mam took it bad, and it turned her head. That’s why we moved here. Me dad thought she would get over it quicker if she wasn’t being reminded of Enid all the time. It made no difference, though, ’cos she’s never got over it.’

  The tears were rolling down Tess’s face. ‘Only five, and she died! Oh, the poor little thing. And your poor mam, I feel so sorry for her. And for your dad and you and Willy. It must have been terrible for all of you.’

  ‘Me dad never used to drink until Enid died. But losing her, and then seeing me mam going out of her mind, he started drinking to forget.’ Jack seemed to shake himself mentally. ‘Anyway, now yer know why me mam does funny things sometimes and me dad often gets drunk. But she’d go mad if she thought I’d told yer, so don’t mention it to a soul. Okay?’

  ‘I’m glad you’re my friend, Jack, and I’ll try harder than ever to make friends with your mam. I’ve promised I won’t tell anyone what you’ve told me, and I’ll keep that promise.’ Tess made a cross over her heart. ‘Cross my heart and hope to die, if this day I tell a lie.’

  Lizzie came up one night, two weeks before the schools broke up, and she was bristling with excitement. After first making claim to the rocking chair, which was her favourite, she said, with a note of importance, ‘I come bearing two lots of news, so park yerselves comfortable and pin back yer lugholes.’

  Tess sat on the floor at the side of her best friend. ‘I’m all ears, Mrs Lizzie, and I hope what you have to tell us is going to make us laugh.’

  ‘Not the first part, queen, that’s more serious than funny. And it’s for Maddy, if she’s interested. If she’s not, then there’s no harm done.’

  Maddy sat forward, all ears and expectancy. ‘What is it, Mrs Lizzie, out with it. Don’t keep me in suspense.’

  ‘How would yer like to work in a shop, queen?’

  George and Ann looked across at each other. What on earth was their friend up to now?

  ‘I hadn’t thought about working in a shop, Mrs Lizzie,’ Maddy said, her frown saying she was now giving the possibility some deep thought. ‘What sort of a shop?’

  ‘One that sells everything, from a gas mantle to a loaf of bread. Sweets, cigarettes, cakes, babies’ dummies, firewood . . . oh, I could go on all day. It would be easier to tell yer what they don’t sell, ’cos as far as I know, they stock everything under the sun.’

  ‘Is there a reason for you asking this, Lizzie?’ Ann was hoping her daughter could get an office job, she was clever enough. But to say so now would make her sound like a snob. And anyway, it was up to Madelaine to choose what she would like to do.

  ‘Of course there’s a reason, queen, I’m not just talking to hear the sound of me own bleedin’ voice, even though it is a sweet sound.’ Lizzie grinned. ‘No, it’s just that I know Bert will be looking for an assistant soon, and I immediately thought of Maddy. It’s near home so there’d be no tram fares to fork out, and it’s pleasant enough work.’

  ‘How d’you know he’ll be looking for an assistant?’ Ann asked. ‘Has he told you?’

  ‘Doesn’t need to, queen, ’cos I’ve got eyes in me head. I reckon Lily is about five or six months pregnant so she won’t be able to carry on much longer. And Bert certainly couldn’t manage on his own, ’cos it’s a busy shop.’

  ‘My God, Lizzie, you do have your eyes to business, don’t you?’ George shook his head in wonder. ‘You don’t miss a thing.’

  ‘Yer wouldn’t get far in life if yer went around missing things, George. Now if I went around with me eyes shut, I wouldn’t have noticed Lily was expecting. And then Bert could have offered the job to someone else and Maddy would have missed the chance. Perhaps she doesn’t fancy working in a shop, and in that case there’s nothing lost.’

  ‘I wouldn’t mind working in that shop,’ Maddy said, looking decidedly perky. ‘I like Mr and Mrs Green, they’re so nice and friendly. Every time I go in the shop they’re both cracking jokes with the customers, even when they’re up to their eyes. Yes, I’d like to work there. But how would I learn the prices of things when they sell so much?’

  ‘It wouldn’t take yer long, queen, ’cos yer’ve got a good head on yer shoulders. Anyway, Bert has a price on nearly everything so that customers know exactly what they’re paying.’

  Ann thought it was time to bring her daughter down to earth before she got too interested. ‘Don’t be thinking the job is yours for the asking, Madelaine, because I’d hate you to build
your hopes up and then be disappointed. Mr Green may already have someone in mind. Someone a little older with shop experience.’

  Tess saw the light leave her sister’s eyes and quickly said, ‘He might not, though! And he wouldn’t get anyone better than Maddy even if they were a hundred years older.’

  ‘Before we do any more talking, can I ask what you think, George and Ann? If the job was up for grabs, how would you feel about Maddy working in the shop?’

  ‘That’s entirely up to her as far as I’m concerned,’ George said. ‘Better to work where she thinks she’d be happy than take any job that comes along.’

  Ann could feel her daughter’s eyes on her and didn’t want to be the one to put a damper on the subject. ‘I’ve no objection to Madelaine working there if that’s what she wants. But nobody knows whether there’s a job going or not! Seeing as Mr Green hasn’t mentioned wanting an assistant, she can hardly go and ask him to consider her for the position.’

  ‘I’ll put the feelers out,’ Lizzie said, setting the chair in motion. ‘I often go in their stock room to have a cuppa with Lily, so I’ll wheedle it out of her in a roundabout way. Now I know Maddy is interested I’ll see what I can do this week. I can’t promise anything, but I’ll do me damnedest.’

  ‘When you came in, you said you had two lots of news,’ Ann reminded her. ‘Shall I ask what the other item is, or should I keep my mouth shut?’

  ‘I’m going to tell yer whether yer mouth’s open or shut. Yer’ll probably tell me to get lost when yer know what it is, but God loves a trier, and yer can’t say I’m not a trier.’

  George chuckled as he twisted the ends of his moustache. ‘Don’t tell us you’ve found a job for Tess in the fish shop?’

  Tess shivered and pulled a face. ‘Ooh, I wouldn’t want to work in the fish shop, ’cos all the fish are dead.’

  The more Lizzie laughed, the faster the chair rocked. ‘Are they, queen? Well, I didn’t know that! Mind you, I’ve often passed the shop window and thought the fish lying on that cold slab didn’t look well. I thought they looked a bit green around the gills, but I never knew the poor buggers were dead.’