Getting Lost with Boys

by Hailey Abbott

  “Of course,” he replied. “This is my roommate, Stewart Blakeslee.”

  “Nice to meet you,” said a rail-thin, shaggy-haired guy with glasses.

  “And this is Maya-Angelou Reynolds,” Paul said, gesturing to a beautiful dark-skinned girl with flowing braids in her hair.

  “Hi there,” she said. “I just go by Maya.”

  Cordelia flinched a bit when she heard Maya’s voice, which was cold and harsh, unlike her soft, earthy exterior.

  “Well, it’s all set up. There’s a vacant cabin in our employee housing area. Jake can stay there, and Cordy, you can bunk with Maya.”

  Maya rolled her eyes. “If you want. There are other cabins available too.”

  Paul kissed Cordelia on the top of her head. “Yeah, but I want to make sure she’s safe, you know?”

  Cordelia was shocked by Maya’s expression. Is she gagging?

  “Thanks for hooking us up, Paul,” Jake said warmly.

  “So, how’s life as an unappreciated groundskeeper and tour slave?”

  Paul looked at Jake as if he’d done something distasteful like unzipped his pants and peed on a giant sequoia in Mariposa Grove. “Well, the work is hard, but it doesn’t go unappreciated, that’s for sure. We all play critical roles in the day-to-day functions of the park, which is one of the most visited in the country.”

  Jake shrugged. “Sweet.”

  “But I also get a lot of free time to do my own thing. Maya and I have already gone on some amazing hikes and done some birding….”

  Cordelia didn’t like the sound of that one bit, but she tried to stay positive. “Have you seen a red-legged honeycreeper?”

  Stewart snickered. “A red-legged honeycreeper? Here?”

  “No, you won’t see one of those around Yosemite,” Paul told her. “I did see a black-headed grosbeak yesterday.”

  “Fantastic!” Cordelia exclaimed.

  “They’re common to these parts,” Maya said blandly.

  “Okay, but…they’re still nice birds to see, right?” She could tell she’d just said something dumb from the way Maya raised her eyebrows, which were in serious need of tweezing.

  But at least Paul was gazing at her kindly. Cordelia smiled back at him. “I can see you’re going to be happy here.”

  “It’s an amazing place,” Paul said, “filled with incredible beauty. The cliffs, the falls. I can’t wait to show all of it to you.”

  Cordelia peered over her shoulder to check on how Jake was doing. He was kicking some pebbles on the ground with his feet and staring off into space. She knew he must have been feeling out of place there. In fact, she was feeling the exact same way. Even though Paul was trying to be welcoming, his friends seemed anything but impressed with her and they’d only just met.

  “You guys must be hungry. Would you like some lunch?” Paul asked.

  Jake’s ears perked up and he joined in the conversation. “Man, I could go for a greasy, cardiac arrest–inducing burger.”

  “Oh my God, that sounds delicious.” Cordelia rubbed her tummy in anticipation and giggled. But when she saw the disappointed look on Paul’s face, she immediately frowned.

  “Well, wouldn’t you rather have a healthy salad with fresh organic vegetables?” he asked. “That’s what all of us eat, and it’s a really good source of fiber.”

  Jake stifled a laugh. “My fiber intake is great, thanks.”

  “But what about your cholesterol?” Stewart asked.

  Maya shot Jake a dirty look. “And the fact that you’re eating something that used to live and breathe and have a mother?”

  Cordelia tried to derail this conversation before Jake could respond. “I’d love a yogurt or something.”

  Paul shook his head disapprovingly. “Yogurt is on our Do Not Eat list.”

  “Because it’s made from milk,” Maya clarified.

  “What’s wrong with milk?” Jake asked. “It’s supposed to do a body good and all that crap.”

  Maya eyed him sternly. “It’s not good for the cow. Have you ever seen an electric milking machine? It’s torture for the animal. Even by hand, milking isn’t right. Did you know that a cow has to be kept permanently pregnant to produce milk? How do you think a cow feels about that?”

  Jake grimaced. “Gee, I don’t know. I’ve never really had a conversation with a cow that went beyond moo.”

  Cordelia pressed her lips together to keep from laughing. It was obvious that no one else thought Jake’s crack was funny, and now that she thought about it, she realized that a few days ago, she wouldn’t have found it funny either. Since when did she get Jake’s jokes? Since when did she feel this giddy when she looked at him from afar?

  Maya’s voice rose. “Just because a cow can’t talk shouldn’t mean she doesn’t deserve a full and happy life! Did you know that a cow can live twenty, twenty-five years? A milk cow only lives five or six years. And do you know what happens to her after that? She’s slaughtered and turned into your greasy burger!”

  Stewart came to Maya’s side and proclaimed, “There’s also evidence that suggests that milk can cause cancer.”

  Jake nodded. “Well, of course, what doesn’t?”

  Cordelia couldn’t figure out how he managed to keep a straight face. “Look, I can understand being a vegetarian. But if you can’t have anything made out of milk, you can’t have cheese either. So how do you get any protein? Just from eggs?”

  Maya gasped in horror, but Paul calmly explained, “Vegans don’t eat eggs, Cordy.”

  She was confused. “I’ve seen you eat eggs, Paul. I made omelets last week, remember?”

  Stewart visibly shuddered.

  Paul gave him an apologetic look before responding to Cordelia. “I’ve come to realize that being a vegetarian is a total cop-out. I’m vegan now. We avoid all kinds of cruelty to animals.”

  Cordelia could see that Jake’s stoic face was about to crack. He scratched his head as if he was pondering something. “Eggs are animals?”

  “Eggs are produced by animals,” Maya replied.

  “We’re against all kinds of animal exploitation.”

  Jake couldn’t suppress his laughter anymore. “Oh, I get it now.” He chuckled. “You won’t eat an egg until a chicken gives you her permission.”

  Maya blinked rapidly and appeared ready to attack, but Paul was there to restrain her. “Jake, where you come from, it might be cool to make fun of people’s beliefs,” he said. “But that’s not what we do here.”

  Suddenly, Cordelia found it necessary to step in and set things straight. “He’s not making fun of anything, Paul. He’s just making a joke.”

  Maya and Stewart exchanged annoyed glances while the grin on Jake’s face widened immensely.

  As for Paul, he seemed troubled. “There’s a difference?”

  “Well, you need a sense of humor to understand which is which,” she said mockingly.

  Everyone stood motionless, especially Cordelia, who was amazed that she’d said that in front of everyone. But she couldn’t help herself. Jake was being cornered by these judgmental environmentalists, and Paul was just going along with it, which was so unfair. It reminded her of that time he’d criticized sunbathers and of other occasions when he’d made it very clear that other people were substandard because they didn’t think like he did. It was an unappealing trait that she had blocked out of her mind most of the time, but now that it was directed at Jake, she wasn’t able to ignore it for some reason.

  But her perturbed attitude just seemed to go right over Paul’s head. “You’re probably testy because you haven’t had anything to eat. C’mon, this way.”

  He put his arm around her waist and motioned for everyone to follow him toward the cafeteria. But Cordelia noticed something very strange—he was kind of pushing her instead of guiding her along. It was so subtle, but she picked up on the pressure he was putting on her and it was making her feel weighed down and heavy. She could hear the footsteps behind her and wondered if Maya and Stewar
t were going to grab Jake and bury him alive somewhere so he could really commune with nature. She turned and looked back and caught Jake staring at her, wearing that trademark smirk of his.

  Then she saw Jake mouth some words, and a lightness came over her entire body and made her feel as if she were soaring alongside a red-legged honeycreeper, or whatever birds were flying around the tops of the majestic trees at Yosemite these days.

  “You are awesome.”

  Cordelia was psyched when Paul told her that he had taken the rest of the day off so they could wander around the park. It was just the diversion she needed. They drove around in a cool ATV so they could explore some of the more rugged, hard-to-reach areas. Paul knew the place as if he’d been born there. He was rattling off facts every time they passed something new. Cordelia adored his passionate spirit and how he lit up in this environment. When she took in all that she was seeing, she could understand why.

  As they whizzed down Tioga Road—the trail that connected the Crane Flat and Tuolumne Meadows—she inhaled the fresh scent of all the blooming flowers. She loved the way the ripples in the lakes moved and committed to memory the image of the granite domes sparkling in the sun. She strolled through Yosemite Valley and snapped pictures of the gorgeous waterfalls, cliffs, and unusual rock formations with her digital camera. She hiked through the formidable Merced Groves, where she sought refuge in the shade of humongous sequoia trees.

  But no matter what jaw-dropping, mind-blowing piece of scenery she encountered, Cordelia couldn’t fully enjoy it because she was miserably preoccupied with thoughts of Jake. She felt horrible about leaving him behind in the hands of Maya and Stewart, the fascist über-granolas, yet he’d insisted that she and Paul have some “close time.” Now she kept wondering what he was doing and if he was feeling overcome with confusing emotions, just as she was. Every waterfall that poured into a lagoon, every patch of chest-high wildflowers, every trail that wound its way through a canopy of grandiose trees—Cordelia searched herself and knew something didn’t feel right. She just couldn’t figure out what it was.

  She looked up ahead to Paul, who was stepping on slippery rocks and steadying himself with a sturdy walking stick. He had such a commanding, confident presence that had the power to render her completely in awe. Yet it only took a few hours for Cordelia to piece a lot of things together—she didn’t really feel protected when she was with Paul as she’d originally thought. Actually, she felt kind of inferior to him most of the time.

  Also, Jake and she might have fought a lot, and he may have criticized her every move, but he’d always been very honest and straightforward about it, like he’d wanted her to come out of her shell, embrace the unexpected, and find her own way in the world. As for Paul, it seemed more and more like he was trying to get Cordelia to follow his path, not hers.

  He paused for a second to catch his breath and sat down on what appeared to be a gigantic lava stone. “Phew, I’m beat. Want to take a break?”

  “Not really. Actually, if we push on a little farther, we could get back to the park in a half hour,” she said. She was secretly hoping that she could catch up to Jake.

  “Cordy, we’ve been going nonstop for hours. You’re going to be sore if we don’t sit down.”

  “But I feel fine.”

  “I do this stuff all the time. I know what I’m talking about. You need to stretch your muscles and relieve any stress that’s on your core.”

  Core? What am I, an apple?

  “Okay, I’ll sit for a minute,” she said, giving in.

  “Great,” Paul said with a smile. He put one of his strong arms around her when she sat down next to him, then pulled her in for a deep, lingering kiss.

  It was the same kind of soft, tongue-filled smooch that Cordelia remembered sharing with Paul the last time she saw him—on the steps of her house back in San Diego. A part of her wished she could go back in time and stay on the steps with Paul forever. But as Paul kissed her, she knew that they couldn’t be that way again. She suddenly knew who she wished she could kiss—someone she never would. Jake. Despite herself, Cordelia felt tears welling in her eyes.

  It was excruciating.

  Paul moved his way down her neck. More tears gathered when she remembered how she used to absolutely love this. However, her boyfriend was too busy nuzzling her to notice how upset she was.

  “I wish I could have you stay in my room tonight,” he whispered. “But the others look up to me, you know?”

  “It’s okay,” she said softly, trying to compose herself.

  “Maybe later, I could come by Maya’s room and we could sneak off somewhere secluded,” he suggested.

  Cordelia shuddered. Then Paul paused when he noticed that his T-shirt was getting damp from her tears.

  She pulled away and wiped at her eyes. “I’m sorry, Paul.”

  “What’s the matter, Cordy?”

  “I don’t know,” she said. She couldn’t be more succinct than that.

  “God, I’m such a jerk.” Paul went into his cargo shorts and pulled out a tissue for Cordelia. Even now, when she wasn’t sure if she really wanted to be his girlfriend anymore, Paul was the most thoughtful guy she’d ever met. “You’ve had such a rough journey and I’m only thinking about….”

  She blew her nose hard. “No, it’s not you, Paul.”

  “Oh, I know that. It’s Jake,” he said tersely. “He’s terrible!”

  “What?”

  “The guy’s a clown,” he went on. “I can’t even imagine what it must be like for you, trapped in a car with that…I don’t know what to call him. A fool without a clue? That seems about right.”

  Cordelia was totally taken aback by Paul’s appearance at this very moment. He was actually ugly—his brow was crinkled, his sweet smile was submerged beneath an almost nasty sneer, the bright color drained from his eyes. This wasn’t the look of jealousy either. It was the look of utter disdain, and for someone he barely knew. At least when Cordelia didn’t like Jake, she had spent countless hours interacting with him—her hatred was based on some experience!

  “Paul, don’t you think you’re making a snap judgment here? I mean, I know I complained a lot about Jake, but he’s really—”

  “Cordy, I’m an intuitive guy. Meditation can help me sense things about people that you can’t possibly understand.”

  Wow. Wow. Woooooow.

  “So you’re saying that you’ve spent an hour with Jake and you understand him better than I do?”

  “I’m highly observant. That’s what happens when you really train your mind. Even so, it doesn’t take a genius to see how screwed up he is. Not only are his ethics all out of whack, but he’s also been putting you in danger. And he’s a bad influence. I can’t believe the size of that burger you ate during lunch. It was gross.”

  Cordelia couldn’t believe what she was hearing. Sure, Jake had gotten her into some sticky situations, and true, some of it might have been because he lacked a sense of foresight. But it wasn’t intentional, and at every turn, Jake seemed to be sincerely looking out for her. Paul was right about one thing, though. Jake was influencing her. He was showing her there was more to life than following her preconceived notions and tabulating things on her Treo. He was teaching her that the unplanned—the element of surprise—can be utterly exhilarating.

  “That’s not how it is at all,” she said.

  “Then how is it?” Paul asked, raising his eyebrow.

  Cordelia’s hands turned ice cold. He was giving her this wise look, like he knew something he wasn’t supposed to know. Maybe Paul wasn’t bullshitting. Maybe he was intuitive in a way she couldn’t comprehend. She was scared that the instant she tried to explain, he’d be able to see right through her lavender ribbed tank top and into her soul.

  Suddenly, a voice came from behind them.

  “Hey, lovebirds.”

  Jacob Stein to the rescue, once again. Cordelia suddenly felt hot all over.

  Paul stood up and grabbed his walking sti
ck. “We were just heading back.”

  Cordelia shoved her snot-filled tissue into her khaki shorts. “Yeah, wanna come?”

  Jake gave her a curious glance as Paul headed off down the trail without them. “Damn, did I just interrupt something?”

  The sounds of Paul’s footfalls got farther away and suddenly she was able to breathe a lot easier. “No, you didn’t.”

  “Your eyes are all red, though,” he said.

  “Allergies,” she replied quickly.

  Jake smirked. “So that’s why Nature Boy looks crushed.”

  Cordelia smiled at him, and they walked back toward the cabins together, matching each other stride for stride.

  Chapter Twelve

  The rest of the evening had been like the WordReference.com definition of “surreal.” Everything had felt like a strange yet lucid dream. She’d had to endure four hours of campfire singing, which ended with a raucous version of her all-time favorite (not!) Woody Guthrie tune, “This Land Is Your Land.” The only thing that had made it worthwhile had been watching Jake snag Maya’s bongos so he could accompany Stewart’s very mediocre acoustic guitar playing. Dinner had been even worse. Paul had made a cauliflower casserole. Its pungent aroma had made her and Jake nauseous, so they’d just had some whole-grain bread slathered with creamy organic peanut butter.

  Then they’d all retired to their appropriate lodgings—Jake had sauntered off to his private cabin while Cordelia had had to room with Maya, who was anything but enthused to have her around. Maya had practically ignored her for most of the night, with the exception of asking her when she was leaving. When both of the hands on her Swatch had hit twelve, Cordelia went to sleep wishing she would have hugged Jake good night, thinking about how many messages Molly had probably left on her Treo, and hoping Paul wouldn’t come knocking on Maya’s door.

  Thankfully, Paul hadn’t disturbed her, so she’d gotten in a full night of erratic tossing and turning. The next morning, Cordelia had a whole new day ahead of her, but she couldn’t stop worrying about what her boyfriend had up his sleeve next. They were standing in an open field, and he had made her cover her eyes and promise not to peek.