The Emotional Wound Thesaurus: A Writer's Guide to Psychological Trauma

by Becca Puglisi

The family of the victim filing a wrongful death lawsuit

  Being placed in a situation where one has to kill to protect oneself

  A situation where one is responsible for another person and must act to keep them alive

  RETURN TO THE TABLE OF CONTENTS

  BEARING THE RESPONSIBILITY FOR MANY DEATHS

  NOTES: Not all people who are responsible for the deaths of others will have this wound—only those who feel remorse.

  EXAMPLES

  Soldiers and military leaders

  People in charge of a country’s security (the United States’ FBI and CIA, for example)

  Pilots who drop bombs on populated areas

  Scientists who create weapons for bioterrorism or mass destruction

  Violent cult members who kill frequently because of their beliefs

  Fringe military groups and extremists that carry out kidnappings, violence, and genocide

  Serial killers and spree murderers

  Factory owners who knowingly pollute the environment, causing human and animal deaths

  Assassins and violent criminals

  Death row technicians

  Executives and employees of insurance companies that deny health coverage

  An airline pilot, train engineer, bus driver, etc. involved in a crash that causes many deaths

  A drunk driver who causes a large-scale accident

  Maintenance workers cutting corners that result in deaths (e.g., faulty carbon monoxide monitors being installed in an apartment building)

  Those responsible for mass animal deaths (avid hunters, scientists who experiment on animals, slaughterhouse technicians, veterinarians that euthanize unwanted animals, etc.)

  People who work in fur farms or other animal-product industries

  BASIC NEEDS OFTEN COMPROMISED BY THIS WOUND: Love and belonging, esteem and recognition, self-actualization

  FALSE BELIEFS THAT COULD BE EMBRACED

  I can never make up for what I did.

  I am a monster.

  People will hate me if they find out what I caused.

  I don’t deserve forgiveness, only punishment.

  I should have known what was going to happen and tried to prevent it.

  If I had made a better decision, people would still be alive.

  I can’t trust my own judgment.

  No good can balance such evil.

  THE CHARACTER MAY FEAR…

  Judgment after death

  Judgment by others

  Their secret getting out

  Being in a position of responsibility that will determine life or death for others

  Failure and mistakes that put lives at risk

  Having their ideas, work, inventions, etc. corrupted and used to bring about more death

  POSSIBLE RESPONSES AND RESULTS

  PTSD symptoms (insomnia, depression, anxiety, flashbacks, etc.)

  Pulling away from family and friends

  Living off the grid; separating oneself from society and avoiding people in general

  Punishing oneself by denying the things that bring happiness

  Thinking of or attempting suicide

  Self-medicating through drugs or alcohol

  Refusing to care for oneself

  Bankrupting oneself through charity donations in an effort to right one’s wrong

  Researching one’s victims as a way to add to the torture and guilt one feels

  Avoiding responsibilities or choices that will impact others

  Moving to a new city or town to get away from one’s past

  Quitting one’s job—especially if it was part of the event

  Avoiding friendships and not allowing people to get close

  Lying about one’s past

  Avoiding making decisions that will impact others

  Seeing a therapist

  Donating one’s time and energy to raise awareness or change laws that factored into the event

  Trying to seek justice for the affected families

  Advocating for humane treatment, either for animals or people groups

  Becoming a vegan

  PERSONALITY TRAITS THAT MAY FORM

  Attributes: Cautious, courageous, discreet, empathetic, focused, humble, independent, industrious, merciful, nature-focused, pensive, persistent, private, proactive, thrifty, wise

  Flaws: Addictive, antisocial, cowardly, cynical, defensive, humorless, indecisive, morbid, nervous, obsessive, paranoid, scatterbrained, self-destructive, temperamental, timid

  TRIGGERS THAT MIGHT AGGRAVATE THIS WOUND

  Seeing a dead body

  Witnessing an accident that causes harm or kills someone

  Stories on the news that are similar to the past event

  Attending a funeral

  Receiving hate mail

  OPPORTUNITIES TO FACE OR OVERCOME THIS WOUND

  Discovering that those in power are doing nothing to prevent the situation from reocurring

  Being caught in a life or death situation where one must act or others will die

  Witnessing someone being duped or groomed to commit an atrocity

  Circumstances forcing one back into the position one held when the event occurred (e.g., a bus driver involved in a large-scale accident having to drive people to safety in an emergency)

  RETURN TO THE TABLE OF CONTENTS

  BEING LEGITIMATELY INCARCERATED FOR A CRIME

  NOTES: Serving a jail sentence is a hard thing to go through and can definitely impact a person. But other difficulties arise once the inmate is set free, especially after a lengthy stay in prison. To that end, this entry explores wounds associated with someone who was once incarcerated but has re-entered society.

  BASIC NEEDS OFTEN COMPROMISED BY THIS WOUND: Safety and security, love and belonging, esteem and recognition, self-actualization

  FALSE BELIEFS THAT COULD BE EMBRACED

  I’m not safe; I always have to be looking over my shoulder.

  People will only see me as a convict.

  I’ll always be a screw-up.

  No one will ever trust me.

  I don’t deserve happiness and can never make up for what I did.

  I won’t be able to realize my dreams.

  I’ve ruined any chance of reconciling with my loved ones.

  THE CHARACTER MAY FEAR…

  Returning to jail

  Losing their few supportive relatives or friends

  Not being able to support themselves through legitimate means

  Falling back into the unhealthy habits that resulted in the incarceration

  Being defined by their crime

  That younger loved ones (siblings, children, nieces, nephews, etc.) will follow in their footsteps

  Never finding love or acceptance

  POSSIBLE RESPONSES AND RESULTS

  Struggling with anger and bitterness (toward oneself or others)

  Hoarding one’s belongings; being overly possessive of material things

  Becoming serious about safety (being alert when walking after dark, augmenting home security, etc.)

  Fearing the police and other security officials

  Obeying blindly out of a desire to stay out of trouble

  Rebelling against authority and the law

  Habitually (and subconsciously) adhering to one’s jail schedule

  Continuing to use the prison slang and vernacular one grew accustomed to

  Flying under the radar; never drawing attention to oneself

  Not thinking for oneself

  Withdrawing from others

  Falling into addiction as a coping mechanism

  Drifting aimlessly without any clear goals

  Trying to succeed on one’s own and refusing all help

  Returning to criminal activity, either because one can’t support oneself legitimately or because the activities are habitual or safe

  Never speaking about one’s jail experiences

  Trying to solve problems with one’s fists (because of experiences in jail
)

  Angry outbursts resulting from stress (due to employment roadblocks, being shunned by family, etc.)

  Exaggerating one’s experiences to make oneself look good to others

  Avoiding family due to a fear of letting them down or the belief that they don’t want contact

  Struggling with friction that occurs when one returns to a family role (having kids who refuse to listen, a spouse who is used to complete independence, etc.)

  Sticking close to any family members or friends who reach out after one’s release

  Avoiding the places, people, and pastimes that were part of one’s life before jail

  Becoming socially active to effect change

  Being grateful for things that others take for granted

  Being content with little when it comes to material things

  Becoming a hard worker in an effort to prove oneself

  Pursuing a career field where one’s criminal record isn’t a factor

  PERSONALITY TRAITS THAT MAY FORM

  Attributes: Alert, ambitious, appreciative, bold, cautious, discreet, easygoing, humble, independent, loyal, obedient, patient, pensive, persistent, private, protective, resourceful, simple, thrifty

  Flaws: Addictive, antisocial, callous, cocky, confrontational, cynical, defensive, devious, disrespectful, evasive, hostile, martyr, needy, nervous, paranoid, pessimistic, possessive, prejudiced, rebellious, resentful, self-destructive, subservient, timid, uncommunicative, volatile, weak-willed, withdrawn

  TRIGGERS THAT MIGHT AGGRAVATE THIS WOUND

  Seeing police officers and vehicles on the street

  Running into former criminal associates

  Being visited by police when there’s a crime in the area

  Having to check in with one’s parole officer

  Sirens and flashing lights

  Seeing a child or spouse one hasn’t seen in a while and regretting the missed time

  Small rooms

  Being locked or confined in a room

  OPPORTUNITIES TO FACE OR OVERCOME THIS WOUND

  Wanting to reach out to an estranged love one but being afraid to do so

  Being cut out of someone’s life and knowing one must repair the damage for reconciliation to occur

  Being threatened by police due to one’s record and wanting to live a life free of harassment

  Seeing one’s child acting out as a result of one’s absence or a social stigma

  RETURN TO THE TABLE OF CONTENTS

  CAVING TO PEER PRESSURE

  EXAMPLES

  Trying drugs or drinking alcohol so one can fit in

  Joining others in bullying a classmate

  Going along with the group mindset to exclude certain people who are different

  Engaging in vandalism or theft because one’s friends are doing it

  Keeping a secret when one knows it’s wrong

  Covering for friends if they get into trouble (providing an alibi, misrepresenting facts, etc.)

  Agreeing to have sex even though it’s not what one wants

  Pressuring someone into having sex to prove one’s prowess to peers

  Allowing friends to party at one’s house though one’s parents (if they knew) wouldn’t allow it

  Suffering through hazing rituals because it’s expected

  Quitting an activity because others think it’s stupid

  Joining a gang, cult, fringe group, club, sorority, team, or religion due to social pressure

  Dressing or behaving a certain way because one’s social circle demands it

  Ending a friendship because one’s peers disapprove of that person

  Not challenging oneself because friends would see it as being uppity or acting “too good for them”

  Compromising one’s religious beliefs as a way of blending in

  Hiding one’s sexual orientation to avoid persecution

  Participating in activities that force one to lie to a spouse

  BASIC NEEDS OFTEN COMPROMISED BY THIS WOUND: Safety and security, love and belonging, esteem and recognition, self-actualization

  FALSE BELIEFS THAT COULD BE EMBRACED

  I’m weak and pathetic.

  I am a coward for not standing up for what’s right.

  I don’t know who I am.

  If people find out who I truly am or what I believe, they will not accept me.

  If I hadn’t done it, someone else would have.

  If I tell the truth no one will believe me.

  One person can’t change things.

  Fitting in is better than standing out.

  Blending in is the only way to get ahead.

  It’s always safer to pretend.

  THE CHARACTER MAY FEAR…

  Situations that put them in a corner (e.g., fearing parties after giving in to a demand for sex at one)

  Authorities and people who have power or influence

  A secret being discovered

  Being blackmailed

  Having to face consequences for what they did under duress

  Making a mistake they cannot undo

  Becoming a victim

  Being cast out by their peers

  POSSIBLE RESPONSES AND RESULTS

  Hiding one’s feelings

  Saying and doing what’s expected rather than what one wants to do

  Retreating into oneself, closing off from family and close friends

  One’s esteem hitting rock bottom

  Feeling trapped by one’s circumstances and choices

  Fantasizing about escaping one’s predicament or going back in time to undo something one did

  Sabotaging happiness out of guilt

  Self-harming or developing an eating disorder

  Punishing oneself (giving away beloved items, pushing away true friends, failing on purpose, etc.)

  Encouraging others to compromise themselves so one can feel better about one’s choices

  Self-medicating with alcohol or drugs

  Subtly avoiding a group of peers (e.g., feigning illness to avoid a work get-together)

  Lashing out at others

  Wanting to hurt those who are doing the coercing

  Engaging in acts of revenge against those causing the situation

  Not thinking about the future

  Wanting to talk to someone about it (like a friend or co-worker) but being afraid of being judged

  Trying to make up for one’s failing to another by showing kindness when peers aren’t around

  Writing down one’s feelings, or leaving a record of what happened

  Requesting to work on a different project so one can avoid those applying the pressure

  Becoming a voice for justice (e.g., outing offenders either anonymously or openly)

  PERSONALITY TRAITS THAT MAY FORM

  Attributes: Cooperative, disciplined, friendly, funny, obedient, persuasive, proper, wise

  Flaws: Abrasive, apathetic, callous, catty, cocky, confrontational, cowardly, dishonest, disloyal, disrespectful, evasive, gullible, hypocritical, insecure, irresponsible, macho

  TRIGGERS THAT MIGHT AGGRAVATE THIS WOUND

  Witnessing bullying firsthand

  Witnessing exclusion or terrorizing as an adult (among parents, co-workers, etc.)

  Being the butt of a prank or joke within one’s group of friends or co-workers

  Being teased or ridiculed for disagreeing or voicing concerns

  Being manipulated by a family member (to come for a visit, help out with a project, etc.)

  OPPORTUNITIES TO FACE OR OVERCOME THIS WOUND

  One’s child hanging out with a bad crowd that is targeting someone or breaking the law

  Being asked to cover up a crime (company fraud, a relative’s assault, etc.)

  Seeing inequity in the workplace, a school, a club, etc. and realizing how unfair it is

  Seeing a co-worker being pressured or mistreated while everyone turns a blind eye

  A similar situation that provides the chance to make a better choice tha
n last time

  RETURN TO THE TABLE OF CONTENTS

  CHOOSING TO NOT BE INVOLVED IN A CHILD’S LIFE

  EXAMPLES

  A biological parent who chose to give up custody rights

  A mother or father who gave up a child for adoption

  Sending a child away to live in an institution because of a severe physical or mental condition

  Moving out of the country after a divorce

  A parent who was never around because of work and travel

  Immigrating to another country to receive better opportunities but having to leave family behind

  Drug or alcohol problems leading to lost custody and visitation rights

  Making choices that lead to an incarceration and little access to one’s child

  Neglecting one’s child out of a desire to pursue personal interests or hobbies

  Sending a child away to boarding or military school

  BASIC NEEDS OFTEN COMPROMISED BY THIS WOUND: Love and belonging, self-actualization

  FALSE BELIEFS THAT COULD BE EMBRACED

  I can never make up for the past.

  The best thing I can do is stay away.

  I am to blame for my son or daughter’s bad choices because I was never around.

  My chance at being a good parent is gone.

  People shouldn’t rely on me because I’ll only let them down.

  My child is better off without me.

  Now that my child is grown, it’s pointless to try and make amends.

  I am not worthy of a second chance.

  I do more damage than good.

  THE CHARACTER MAY FEAR…

  Being alone for the rest of their life

  Making mistakes that cannot be undone

  Letting a loved one down again

  Responsibility, especially for others

  Having other children, either naturally or through adoption

  Being the target of the child’s wrath and disappointment

  Relationships that mirror a parent-child dynamic (being an uncle, a teacher, a mentor, etc.)

  POSSIBLE RESPONSES AND RESULTS