Dazed (The Deliverance Series Book 1)

by Maria Macdonald

  He tucks a stray hair behind my ear, and his eyes follow the process. I can feel the heat from his breath as it blows over my cheek.

  “There’s so much more to lemons than the sour that puts people off. Lemon juice cleanses.”

  His answer surprises me, and I shoot back in my chair.

  Tarrant turns his head to the window. “Some people want to feel clean. You’re the girl, that one girl that could make even the dirtiest of us clean again.”

  “What?” I breathe out.

  He shakes his head. “Nothing. Anyway, lemons cleanse. They’re also added to lots of different foods to make them better. Lemon makes almost every meal better.”

  I blink then squeeze my eyes shut, quickly opening them again. “What?” I once again whisper, confusion fogging up my brain.

  “Laura?” I hear called from the front of the house and realize Caden’s come for me.

  “You make everything better, Lemon.” Tarrant delivers the best compliment I’ve ever received, then gets up and walks away before I can say anything. And he doesn’t turn back.

  Popping another gum in my mouth, I stare out the window. Morgan should have been back by now. I haven’t managed to speak to her since the pool party on Saturday. She didn’t come home that night. Instead, she texted me to say she was staying with Aaron. When I started questioning her, she told me she would fill me in soon. The problem was Sunday I had to work, when I got back she was still absent, and I fell asleep in front of my laptop. When I woke I realized Morgan had returned at some point, she had covered me in my duvet and put away my laptop, but she was missing again. No doubt there was an early class she had to get to, or maybe study hall. I knew she wasn’t avoiding me, so I’d wait it out.

  Tonight I was waiting it out. Still.

  My phone signals a text and I pounce on it.

  Caden: What u doing?

  Me: Nothing.

  Caden: …

  Me: Seriously, just waiting for Morgan to get back.

  Caden: She’s here at Rettas.

  Me: You’re at Rettas? Are you sure it’s her?

  Caden: Yeah, I met with Henry. Yep, 100% Morgan. Her tongue is down some dude’s throat, not sure he’s sanitary, he looks greasy.

  Me: Fuck.

  Caden: Want me to step in?

  Me: No. She won’t listen. Can you come get me?

  Caden: Can’t. Don’t have a car. Henry’s going home. I’ll watch her. Tarrant is free. I’ll get him to pick u up. Text u in a bit.

  Shit. I’m not sure whether the guy who gives me a lady boner is the right one to help me save my friend. I’m also not sure I have a choice. Sighing, I look down my body at my SpongeBob PJs and groan out loud knowing I now have to change, getting dressed up to go out isn’t something I relish at the best of times.

  Rettas is an eighteen and over club. They’ll stamp the back of my hand to say I can’t drink liquor, but it’s one of the few clubs that allow under twenty-ones. Morgan likes to party, she always has, but going out on a Monday night isn’t usually her thing. I’m surprised Caden is out and never mentioned anything to me. Obviously, he doesn’t have to check in with me, but it does make me feel slightly uncomfortable. This whole situation is starting to itch.

  I check my face in the mirror, okay, not too bad. I had a shower before pulling on my PJs, so I’m clean. I don’t have any makeup on, but I’m not going there to meet a hot guy—I have those in abundance even if I can only look. I pull open my wardrobe and drag out my favorite black skinny jeans and a fitted Thomas the Tank Engine tee. I love this tee. Aiden gave it to me for my fifteenth birthday. It’s black with a black and white annoyed looking Thomas on the front and the words ‘The Fat Controller needs to get laid.’ Seriously, when I opened this present, I laughed so hard I nearly peed in my panties. I try not to wear it very often as it reminds me of Aiden, and I’m scared of getting a stain on it or something, but I feel like I need him near me right now. I drag a brush through my hair and let it hang down my back, then a layer of mascara and some lip gloss is about the best armor I can manage tonight.

  Just then my phone signals what I assume is Caden’s text.

  Unknown Number: I’m outside, come down, Lemon.

  A spasm catapults through my chest and I suck in a breath. I try not to think too hard about my actions as I store Tarrant’s number in my phone. It beeps again as I finish.

  Caden: Tarrant is coming. See you soon, Button. :-)

  I grab my jacket and purse and walk downstairs without replying to anyone. My brain is still trying to catch up, and I need to focus on Morgan.

  Seeing the shiny black car under the street lamp, I grab the handle, swing the door open, and slide into the passenger seat.

  “Hey,” I murmur to Tarrant.

  “Lemon,” he replies with a small smile.

  “Sorry you got dragged into this,” I tell him, genuinely apologetic. I’m not used to having friends, and I’m not used to asking for help—this is a new thing for me.

  Tarrant shrugs. “Not like I was doing anything important,” he says pulling away from the dorms. I look everywhere but at him, aware of my thought process last time I was in his car and how I embarrassed myself.

  “Nice top,” he says with a chuckle, breaking the quiet tension.

  “Oh yeah.” I look at my top and an upside down Thomas stares back at me.

  “Probably my favorite of your cartoon obsessions.” He full-on grins at me now.

  “My brother got it for me. I love it,” I tell him smiling at my top and thinking of Aiden. “It’s my most prized possession. I don’t wear it as often as I’d like because I’m scared of ruining it.” My gaze moves up to him, and as I meet his beautiful green eyes I realize he’s been looking at me and not the road. Tarrant doesn’t reply but studies me for what seems like forever—based on the fact that he’s driving it’s probably only a flash in time—before he turns back to the road and keeps quiet for the rest of the journey.

  Tarrant slows to a stop across the street from the club and looks at me. “Go over. I’ll meet you inside.” I nod and climb out of the car. Once I’m outside the club, I go right to the front of the queue deciding it’s probably better to explain to the doorman why I need inside, hopefully then I won’t have to wait to get to Morgan. Before I talk to him, I look back and see Tarrant is still watching me. Seemingly happy that I’m safe he drives off, and I turn back to the doorman.

  “What’s up, girl?” the big, stocky, bald-headed man asks me.

  “I need to get in. My friend is in there apparently making unwise life choices, and I need to get to her.”

  He laughs at me. “You think I don’t hear that all the time? There’s a line kid, and you ain’t anything special for me to see you inside first.”

  I cross my arms and bite my teeth together calming myself. “Listen, I don’t care about the stupid club, I just want to get my friend out of this dump.”

  “Well, that’s the way to get let in.” He smiles.

  Jerk.

  “I don’t need this shit,” I say out loud. “But I’m also not one to leave a friend when they’re in need.” I rub my temples. “Dammit, I rushed to get here. I have to get in. I was in my PJs twenty minutes ago,” I implore.

  He looks down and then back up my body, and I feel creeped out. “Yeah, looks like it.”

  “We’re going in,” Tarrant’s deep voice assaults my ears before his warm hand lands on my shoulder.

  There seems to be some kind of stare down between the two of them. They’re the same height, although the doorman is stockier. Even so, Tarrant feels more dangerous.

  “Fuck it, what do I care?” the doorman says and lets us both through. I hurry forward trying to get down the corridor and into the club itself, but I’m pulled backward until I can feel Tarrant’s hard body against mine. His chin rests on top of my head, and his arms wrap around me, pinning mine to my sides as we stand still.

  “You stay with me in there. If you can’t feel me at your b
ack, then you go straight to the bar and wait for me. You do not take drinks from anyone and never fucking leave with anyone other than me. Got it?” he demands.

  I stare at the door ahead, knowing I need to get inside to get to Morgan. I can feel Tarrant’s grip on my body and his chest against my back.

  “Okay,” I whimper, and feel embarrassed and ashamed at the clear need for him within me.

  He releases me and I continue forward. Feeling Tarrant behind, I weave my way through the crowd. It’s really loud inside, and I can’t hear much over the song Speak Soft by the band As It Is, and even though this club isn’t really my scene I’m impressed with their song choice. I love that they’re playing music by more underground artists.

  I know Tarrant says something, but I can’t hear so he leans across me and points. My gaze glides down his arm, then his finger, and I follow where he’s pointing. That’s when I spot Morgan—she’s near the wall with some guy I’ve never seen, and he’s pushing up on her. It looks like two young, frisky college kids making out, but I can see her hands trying to push him away. He’s holding her wrists, she can’t do anything, and he has her legs trapped against the wall between his knees as he bends to kiss her.

  I freeze.

  I’ve been where she is and like fuck will I let her get hurt any more than she probably already is.

  Cautiously, I walk forward, that is until I see the tear streaks running down her face which are semi-hidden because this dick has his mouth on hers, and his face is in the way. I run, losing Tarrant in the crowd. When I reach them I pull him off. He doesn’t expect me, so there’s no resistance.

  “Laura,” Morgan cries falling forward and onto her knees.

  “What the fuck!” the guy roars, then pushes me back and my head hits the wall. His eyes are angry, furious, in fact. His limp, greasy black hair hangs around his eyes, and he sneers at me showing his teeth like a growling dog. He storms forward, but before his hands touch me, he’s yanked backward. He turns, still angry and faces off with an equally angry Caden. There’s an argument starting between the two of them, but I don’t pay attention. Instead, I crouch down to Morgan.

  “Home time, baby girl,” I say.

  She nods. “I’m sorry you had to come and rescue me.”

  “Shhh… don’t apologize for some guy being too much of a sleaze to realize that everyone has the right to say no.”

  She hiccups and continues quietly crying. I pull her from the floor, and as I turn around, I see Caden facing off with the dickhead and three of his friends. It looks like war is about to take place when Tarrant steps next to Caden. The whole area—including people who were continuing to dance around us—slows and becomes edgy, the aura pulses, the tension rises, and it’s all because of one look, the look of someone who wants to kill and it’s flowing freely from Tarrant’s stare.

  “The bitch isn’t worth it,” someone says to the guy.

  He turns to me and Morgan and sneers, “Yeah, you’re right. Plus look at her friend, that’s a virgin pussy for sure. You know… the ugly friend.”

  In a flash and shocking everyone, Tarrant steps forward and punches him in the nose. The crack is loud enough to bounce off the walls, and all hell breaks loose. Caden and Tarrant start fighting the other guys as I grab Morgan.

  “Come on,” I shout, dragging her by the arm back through the club the way I came in.

  “Oh fuck me, they let anyone into these places now,” I hear spat from beside me and glance over to see Selina. I groan with annoyance but continue forward. “What? Too good to speak to me now you have the uglier hot twin?” she slurs slightly.

  Her friends snigger, and I know I shouldn’t engage, but I can’t help myself. I turn to face her as bouncers run past me, no doubt heading to the fight. “What you said doesn’t even make sense. The uglier hot twin? They’re either hot or ugly. Ugh. Grow up,” I end up shouting at her. She blinks, and for a moment it looks like she doesn’t really know what to say or do. Then with no warning, she throws her drink at me. A red sticky liquid hits my chest and runs down my top.

  “No!” I wail, watching it seep into Thomas’s white bits. “Bitch!” I shout again leaping forward and grabbing her shoulders. I shake her hard and she laughs. “What is fucking wrong with you?” I yell.

  She laughs again and then wobbles. Just as I realize she’s going down in her drunk state, she reaches out and grabs my top. I hear the rip. I don’t register it, but I feel it when the air hits my soaked bra. Selina lays on the floor and with as much dignity as I can muster, I step over her and pull Morgan—who still seems to be in a state of shock—behind me. The minute we’re outside the club, I look down at the damage and tears well up in my eyes as I see my beloved top torn right down the middle.

  “What the fuck?” Tarrant booms stopping in front of me and looking down.

  My tear filled eyes meet his angry ones and I whisper, “Selina.” His eyes flash with even more intensity which I didn’t think was possible. “Caden, your top,” he demands and that’s when I realize both of them are outside the club with us. Thankfully, Tarrant has no marks on him, and Caden only has a small scratch on his cheek.

  “No can do, I have nothing underneath.” Caden shrugs.

  Tarrant’s angry glare turns toward him. “She’s your fucking girl,” he spits at his brother.

  Caden’s eyes turn dark now, working through something. I can see his brain clicking before he looks at me with narrowed eyes then back to Tarrant. “Doesn’t she have a jacket?” he asks.

  “Yeah, in the car, which is nearly two blocks away.” He looks between us. “Fuck it,” he says and pulls his Henley off, leaving his chest bare. My legs weaken, and I swear some drool comes out of my mouth. I’m pretty sure Caden is watching me, but I can’t take my eyes from his brother. “Arms up,” Tarrant demands, and as I enter another Tarrant daze I realize, as I lift my arms without hesitation, that I would pretty much do anything for him. He slips his top over my arms until it hangs down my body stopping at mid-thigh.

  I could wear his top as a dress.

  I giggle to myself which makes the guys frown at me puzzled.

  My favorite tee is ruined, Morgan is still out of it, Caden is pensive, and Tarrant now has no top on.

  How the fuck did my night turn out like this?

  The tension in the car is thick but I don’t care. I’m worried about Morgan, but the rest of it I can’t figure out right now. Instead, I keep thinking about Aiden and the top he bought me that now sits in tatters underneath Tarrant’s Henley. He hasn’t asked for it back, and I haven’t offered.

  The journey is quiet, and when Tarrant stops the car he doesn’t just allow us to get out so he can drive off. Instead, he gets out and waits for us to do the same. There’s unease as Caden slides out, and I wonder if he didn’t want to stop.

  We trudge up to our dorm and silently all cram inside.

  “I’ll make coffee,” I tell everyone and walk down the hall, finally breathing when I’m on my own.

  “You want him.” It’s a similar voice to the one that invades my dreams, but different enough that I know it’s Caden and not Tarrant.

  I hang my head and stare at the cups. “I don’t want to want him,” I whisper my admission, then turn around to face him finally feeling part of the heavy weight lifting off my chest.

  Caden’s anger is clear. His jaw is tight and his muscles bunched. “He’ll fuck you over, just like every other girl. That’s what he does. Is that what you want?” he spits at me.

  “You have a low opinion of your brother,” I say, not informing him that I don’t have daydreams of Tarrant and me skipping off into the sunset. I know he’s a player.

  “No. I’m realistic, Laura. Fuck!” he yells. “I chose you because I didn’t think your eye would be turned by a bad boy,” he says grabbing his head.

  “You chose me,” I whisper jerking backward against the open cupboard door. I feel like he’s struck me with his words.

  “Fuck! You know what
I mean,” his reply is calmer, but it’s still loaded with venom. He’s not angry I realize—he’s scared. He’s worried I’m going to tell his secret.

  “No. You’ll have to explain it to me, Caden. From where I stand, it sounded like you picked me specifically, just for the purpose of pretending to be your girlfriend. And here I thought we were friends and that’s why you asked me to help you. Shit! I need to stop getting my wires crossed.” I bristle, raising my hand up and throwing the cupboard door shut with a bang and then crossing my arms.

  I’m hurt. I don’t do friends and I stupidly let Caden in. Stupid, stupid me.

  “Fuck!” He slams his fist on the counter.

  “What’s going on here?” Tarrant growls walking into the kitchen.

  “I’m going home,” Caden answers not looking at his brother as he storms out.

  “What was that about?” Tarrant asks me, his voice softening.

  “I think we just broke up,” I tell him.

  His eyes narrow then he lets out a sigh, his shoulders drop as if he’s defeated, and he rubs the back of his neck. “I’m sorry, Lemon,” he says tenderly. “I better go, he’s gonna need a ride home,” he explains before reaching out with his hand and wiping a stray tear from my cheek.

  I didn’t even know I was crying. Figures.

  To Tarrant it probably fits, me being upset at breaking up with his brother. I mean I did tell him that I loved Caden. The truth is that I’m upset because I feel used, betrayed, and I let my guard down and because of that I also feel stupid.

  Robotically, I make two cups of coffee and head back to the dorm. When I get inside, Morgan is sitting on her bed, her legs crossed, staring at the wall.

  “I think Tarrant is seriously into you, like more than just lust,” she tells me, her voice quiet. I frown at her and shake my head but say nothing. “We heard Caden shout, then a bang. I’ve never seen someone move as fast as Tarrant did trying to get to you.”

  “He was probably trying to get to his brother,” I reply, brushing off her comment.