Dazed (The Deliverance Series Book 1)

by Maria Macdonald

  “Arrogant ass,” I say pursing my lips.

  Tarrant throws his head back and laughs. The deep timbre resonates through me as I watch his throat move. Slowly, I pull my eyes from him and turn to the restaurant. There aren’t many people here, but the few female servers are frozen watching him.

  He stops laughing and stares at me. The intensity of his gaze is unnerving, exciting, and totally consuming.

  “Your drinks,” the waitress says sharply bringing me out of my stupor. She places my glass and Tarrant’s bottle down a little harder than is probably necessary.

  “Thanks,” I relay, biting my lip and trying not to grin.

  “Can I get you some food?” she offers looking at me and smiling politely.

  “Erm…” I reply and grab the menu scanning for the cheapest item.

  “Tuscan Sirloin, medium,” Tarrant orders, briefly glancing up at her.

  “I’ll have the minestrone soup,” I reply.

  “Okay,” she says and is about to walk away when Tarrant stops her.

  “Emily, give us five minutes then come back to check our orders, would you?” This time he looks at her and smiles. I can see the exchange as well as the moment her eyes glaze back over, and she melts. It’s that easy for him. Just. Like. That.

  “Of course,” she smiles, this time it’s not polite, and I refrain from rolling my eyes as I watch her walk away.

  “Right, what the hell is going on?” Tarrant snaps, and I’m jerked from the trance I was sitting in watching Emily leave.

  “What… what?” I stumble over my words trying to replay his question in my head in case I missed something.

  Tarrant sighs heavily and pulls his beanie off his head. His patterned hand threads through the messy hair as he pulls at the ends.

  “I know you don’t have much money,” he whispers. The softness of his voice combined with the raw determination in his eyes throws me off kilter, and I’m momentarily stunned, my voice seems stuck somewhere in my throat. “I’ve watched you, Lemon.” Something about that statement wakes the bats up in my tummy. “You buy cheap food around payday, cheese sandwiches, Ramen noodles, you hardly go out, and the further away from payday it is, the more lunchtimes you spend in the library or study hall…” he leans forward bringing his face agonizingly close to mine, “… not eating,” he spits.

  I don’t know what to say, so I shake my head but have no words to match the action.

  “We’re here, you’re having whatever you want, and that does not include fucking soup of any description. I’m buying, pick something you like, and then we’re going to have dessert.”

  “I—”

  “And I don’t want to hear any of the shit that comes from girls’ mouths about dieting. You don’t need to lose any weight. Trust me when I say real men like soft curves. Now look at the menu, I’ll be back,” he demands then pulls himself out of the booth and stalks across the restaurant toward the restrooms. Once again, I find almost everyone is watching him.

  I glance back at the table and wonder what kind of alternative universe I stumbled into today.

  I pick up the menu, and my eyes immediately move across the choices.

  Tarrant’s voice startles me. “What you gonna order?” he asks sliding back into the booth, this time opposite me.

  I frown at him, then quickly hide it as he stares down at his menu again.

  “I was thinking garlic rosemary chicken,” I murmur.

  His eyes snap up and meet mine. The look in them is slightly dark now and a little teasing. “I’m sure Caden will appreciate the garlic,” he tells me smirking.

  I feel like he’s switched personality again, but I can’t quite work out why.

  He calls the waitress over. “Hey Emily, my brother’s girl here would like the garlic rosemary chicken,” he tells her with a wink.

  My stomach drops. How did I suddenly end up with the jerk… where did his sweet, thoughtful side go?

  “Thanks,” I reply, not sure what else to say.

  Tarrant doesn’t reply, and we sit in silence for a few minutes until my phone buzzes against the table alerting me to a text. Caden’s name flashes on the screen, and as I look up at Tarrant, I see his eyes are pinned to my phone as his jaw works. I pull in a breath through my nose needing to wake myself up from all of this shit. It’s building, and when it finally drops, it may end up hitting me square in the face. I palm my phone and look at the text.

  Caden: So Tarrant’s bringing you to mine… are you ready for fireworks?

  I frown as confusion tingles.

  Me: You didn’t know? I thought you arranged it?

  Caden: No. I told Tarrant you were by yourself. He was pissed at me. Mom wondered where he was so I just called him. He said he was with you, and that he’s bringing you here.

  I sigh and think about my options. Right now, realistically, I have none. I’m going to have to get in that car with Tarrant and deal with the sudden tension for as long as the rest of the journey lasts.

  Me: Okay. See you in a while.

  I slip my phone into my pocket and look up to see Tarrant watching me and frowning.

  Emily comes back and slides our food in front of us, batting her eyelashes and smiling at Tarrant. This time he doesn’t encourage her as he says thank you but nothing else.

  “How much longer do we have to travel before getting to your parents’ house?” I question once my food is finished, and I can’t stand the quiet pressure anymore.

  “About ten minutes,” he states standing up and throwing some cash on the table. “Come on,” he orders over his shoulder before walking toward the exit.

  We could have gone straight back to his parents to eat. Why did he bring me here first? I feel like there’s a bigger story in play. Maybe he was trying to prolong his time with me? God! I need to stop letting romantic fantasies take over my normally logical mind.

  I smile at Emily and say goodbye as I watch the sadness sweep her face. Then she turns to look at Tarrant’s back, and longing fills her eyes. I follow him outside trying desperately to prepare myself for whatever’s coming next.

  “Caden,” I call, relief obvious in my voice when I see him. To say my entrance was uncomfortable would be an understatement. His house is big, not huge, but bigger than I’m used to. It has enough space that there is a driveway and one of those gaudy fountains in the middle.

  Once he pulled the car to a stop, Tarrant brought my bag in, and I shuffled along after him. His parents were sitting in the living room. His mom looked exactly like she did in the photo I had seen, like she hadn’t aged a day. She smiled at me and said hello. It was their father that caused an unpleasant taste to form in my mouth as it slid down my throat settling in my stomach. His eyes prickled over me, and his lip curled. He barely moved to glance at his son before he turned back to his paper and ignored the both of us. I locked eyes with Mrs. Reigns as her cheeks reddened and offered her a consoling smile because even though I didn’t know her, I felt her. Anyone taking a single glance at the woman would see her pain—it was carved into her features, she was drowning in it.

  Tarrant moved to his mom, leaned down and kissed her cheek, then he walked back to me, handed me my bag, and left the room shouting Caden’s name as he went. I heard Caden’s movement and his gentle “Laura?” and had rushed toward the stairs and him.

  Now we’re here and I’m looking into his eyes. I’m confused. I’m emotionally drained. I feel like I’ve walked into a family minefield and I honestly want to cry.

  Merry Christmas to me.

  Caden stops in front of me and picks me up. Holding my body close to his, he spins us around, and I nuzzle into his neck, finally allowing some of my tension to release. He gently lowers me back down and stares at my face. His eyes are different to his brother’s, and they’re filled with love for me—not a single modicum of lust—and that’s when I completely relax. With Caden, I know where I am.

  He tucks a strand of hair behind my ear. “What am I going to do with y
ou, Button?” he asks softly.

  “I’m out. See you when I see you,” Tarrant announces, coming from behind me and walking straight past. My skin prickles and my heart shudders in my chest as Tarrant leaves. My eyes meet Caden’s, and he smiles softly as I allow the tears to finally gather in mine.

  “Come on, let’s go to my room,” he says nudging me. He takes my bag and we go up the stairs.

  “I’m sleeping in your room?” I question Caden when he places my bag in his wardrobe.

  He shrugs. “It’s not like my parents don’t think I have sex, even if they’re wrong.” He smiles, but it doesn’t quite filter into his eyes.

  “You want to explain what happened with Tarrant?” I ask. In truth, I’m desperate to know what went down between the two of them before Tarrant came to my dorm.

  “Tomorrow,” he says and leans forward kissing my forehead. “It’s late now, get some sleep. I’m taking you out tomorrow.”

  I look around until I find a clock, and my eyes widen when I see it’s nearly midnight. I had crawled into bed early because I was bored, cold, and if I’m honest, because I was alone. But I’m still shocked to see that over three hours have passed since Tarrant picked me up.

  “Okay,” I offer, not in the mood to argue. I know my head will hit the pillow, and I’ll immediately fall asleep. I bend down and open my bag grabbing some PJs and walk to Caden’s bathroom, foregoing my shower as I had one earlier. Instead, I just brush my teeth, scrubbing the garlic chicken away. When I get out, I see Caden sitting on the edge of his bed, bare chest and bare feet only wearing a pair of pajama bottoms.

  “You gonna be okay sharing with me?” he queries tilting his head toward the bed.

  My lips twitch. “Are you gonna try something?” I ask keeping my face straight.

  Caden’s face blanches. “Not likely,” he says eyeing me up and down with something akin to fear in his features. I burst out laughing, and he narrows his eyes at me. “Get your butt in my bed,” he orders smiling as he walks past me into the bathroom.

  I don’t know how long Caden spends in the bathroom because like I thought, the minute my head hits the pillow I’m out for the count.

  A loud bang jerks me awake, and I sit up. It takes a second for me to gather my bearings and remember where I am. I glance over to Caden who’s still sleeping next to me, laying on his back with his arm thrown over his face. I look back toward the noise as a louder knock comes this time.

  Suddenly the door flies open, Tarrant pokes his head around, and the corner of his mouth curls upward as he looks at me. He pushes the door fully open and stands in the entrance. “The sleepy look suits you, Lemon,” he tells me, his lips spreading into a grin. I feel movement next to me and glance over as Caden pulls himself up and rubs his eyes. By the time I turn back to Tarrant, his face is carefully blank again, and he won’t meet my stare.

  “There’s a beach party tonight over at English’s,” Tarrant tells his brother, and I figure even if I had been awake for more than a minute, I still wouldn’t understand what he just said.

  “Cool,” Caden answers leaning over me and reaching for his water bottle. I automatically edge back out of his way so he doesn’t brush my breasts, and I catch my breath as Tarrant watches the movements play out. Caden doesn’t even notice, but to Tarrant it probably seems strange that a girlfriend who sleeps in the same bed as her boyfriend would purposely get out of the way so he didn’t touch her.

  Tarrant rubs his chin, and something works in his eyes as he looks between the two of us.

  “See you there later,” he says to Caden who has his head thrown back as he gulps down half a bottle of water. “Bye, Laura,” he adds, and his eyes lock on mine as he says my real name.

  “That was a thing,” Caden croaks out from next to me the minute we hear Tarrant’s footsteps thunder down the stairs.

  I turn to him. “You think?” I ask frowning.

  “I know my brother. That. Was. A. Thing.” He emphasizes every word.

  I say nothing. I’m not entirely sure what to say.

  “I think we have a ton to talk about. Let’s get showered and dressed, and we’ll head out.”

  I nod and watch as he gets up to use the bathroom. I need to get my life straight, and I need to do it quickly.

  “I’m telling them after Christmas,” Caden says as he sits beside me licking his ice cream cone. It’s cold out, but he insisted I needed to try the cones from his favorite place. To be fair, they are freaking awesome.

  “So when, the beginning of next year?”

  I know he said over the Christmas holiday, I assumed he meant before he comes back to school, which could mean any time up to the middle of January. I’m hoping he doesn’t leave it too long.

  “No. After Christmas, Laura. As in right after Christmas. The day after.”

  “But that would mean this…” I break off and stare at him as my brain catches up.

  “This Sunday,” he replies, and I nod, eyes wide. “It’s time. Plus, I’m hurting my best friend and my brother,” he whispers the last words out.

  “I’m not sure that’s entirely accurate,” I reply.

  “He’s totally into you, Button,” he tells me with a wink. “I’m his brother, I know. Trust me.” He shakes his head and looks across the car park as we sit on the bench outside the shop. “I didn’t see it before, but since I’ve been really watching, I realize that I’ve never seen him like this, it’s…” He breaks off and dumps the rest of his cone in the bin. “He’s out of sorts. You have to understand, Tarrant is in control. Always,” he explains. I nod and lean over throwing my cone away, too. He watches the motion and frowns before continuing, “He’s lost. Tarrant is never lost. I don’t know what’s going on in that head of his, but what I do know is I’m standing in the way, and I’m hurting the people I care most about.”

  My eyes well up again. “I love you, too, Caden,” I say softly, and he smiles sliding his arm around me and pulling me into his chest. “What if…” The words die in my throat.

  “What?” Caden urges.

  “It’s just, I keep thinking… what if this is a game to him, you know because I’m unavailable?”

  “Shit,” Caden groans.

  “What?”

  “Tarrant hasn’t chased girls before,” he mutters. “Not like this.” He pulls away from me and places his hands either side of my neck holding my head in place so I’m facing him. “When he asked what you were doing over Christmas, and I told him you were staying in the dorm alone, he got pissed.” His eyes pin mine. “Really pissed,” he emphasizes. “He punched the wall next to my head when I said I had no plans to do anything about it.” I gasp. “Exactly,” he replies. “He told me I didn’t deserve you and then took off immediately.”

  “Oh my God,” I mutter.

  “Yeah. He can see I’m not into you like that. I know he feels it but can’t explain it. I don’t want to be the person that pushes him to go behind his brother’s back, even though you and I know the truth and soon so will he. I don’t think there’s any way to come back from that kind of broken trust, no matter the truth,” he explains and pulls his hand away sitting back.

  “I know,” I admit.

  “I can see his jealousy every time we’re together. When I spoke to him earlier to ask where he was, he said he was doing what I should have been doing… looking after something precious.” The tears finally crash over the wall and bound down my cheeks, and some rush over the lip I sit biting. “I knew that was the end. It was too much… I could hear the pain in his voice.”

  I sob, and Caden pulls me back into him as I lay my head against his shoulder. “Whatever is going on, I’m not standing in the way anymore… at least not after Christmas.”

  “T-This p-probably isn’t the b-best place for me to b-be r-right now,” I battle to get the words out.

  Caden strokes my hair. “You’re right. This is the worst place for you to be. Not only is the tension between you and Tarrant enough to taste, but wit
h me about to reveal all to my family, you’re really in the thick of it. I’m sorry, there’s nothing I can do now. You’re going to have to pull up your big girl panties and deal with it for a couple more days. Tomorrow is Christmas Eve, and we always have family over, so you’ll be kept busy. It’s tonight I’m worried about,” he grinds out.

  I pull my wet, snotty face from him. “What about tonight?” I ask.

  “Tonight is Mikey Carter’s annual bonfire,” he says, but it’s not really to me, more like he’s thinking out loud.

  “Mickey Carter?”

  Caden looks down at me. “Michael Carter is from London but has lived here for a few years, and every Christmas he has a bonfire in his backyard the night before Christmas Eve.”

  “Wow! He must have a big house?” I ponder.

  “Button, he lives in a beach house and owns part of the beach.”

  “Oh,” is all I can say.

  Caden chuckles. “Yeah, the only issue is my brother will be there, too. And either he’ll have a girl with him, which will hurt you, or he’ll see you with me which will hurt him. Either way, it’s shit, but we have to remember it’s only for a couple more days. Okay?” He waits for my answer.

  I nod. “I could stay at your parents’ tonight?” I offer.

  “No. Then Tarrant would be on me for leaving you there.” He rubs the back of his neck and grins sheepishly. “Anyway, I kind of need you to be my girlfriend for a little longer.”

  I let my head fall back and stare at the bright sky. It looks strange all overcast but still bright, and it feels something… ominous.

  This does not bode well for me.

  “Okay,” I say not tearing my eyes from the sky.

  I sit in Caden’s car as we drive to his friend’s house. Caden turns down the stereo which plays Only One by Yellowcard, and I look over at him. I watch as his face contorts with sadness then changes to determination. “No matter what happens…” he swallows and glances at me. “No matter what, Laura, I’ll never be able to thank you for everything you’ve done for me. Even if you weren’t in love with my brother, this would be hard for you.”