Dazed (The Deliverance Series Book 1)

by Maria Macdonald

  “Caden, tell me is—”

  “He’s okay right now,” he tells me, and I want to ask more, but I refrain.

  “Tomorrow,” I whisper.

  “Yeah, and Button?”

  “What?”

  “Merry Christmas,” he yawns out.

  “Merry Christmas,” I reply then I get dead air.

  I toss and turn and spend what feels like hours trying to get back to sleep.

  “Hello…” I hear followed by a bang, and I groan pulling the covers away from my face. My eyes are blurry, and they take a minute to adjust.

  “Morgan?” I yell, not sure if I’m seeing things.

  “Yeah, girl,” she says plonking herself on the edge of my bed.

  “What are you doing here?” I demand.

  She chuckles. “I got a text from Mr. McHottie telling me you were on your own and needed your family around, and that’s me. Well, me and him,” she says as Max walks in carrying Morgan’s things.

  “Hey, kid,” he mutters as he sets her stuff down.

  “Hey, Max.” I smile and feel a warm fuzzy emotion running through my veins.

  “It’s fucking freezing in here. Where’s your heater?” Max questions.

  “Outside switch,” Morgan tells him, and Max nods then walks back out.

  “Which one?” I ask.

  “Which one who?” Morgan returns with a puzzled look on her face.

  “Which Mr. McHottie texted you?”

  “Tarrant did last night,” she replies as her eyes well up a little.

  “I need an hour to process,” I say.

  “You have twenty minutes. It’s Christmas Day and hardly anywhere is open. It was a fucking nightmare trying to get a table for dinner, but I managed to speak to Aaron’s cousin and get us a reservation over at his restaurant. Anyway, it’s nearly two pm,” she tells me.

  “Oh my God, really?” I blink and look over at the clock again.

  Damn.

  “Twenty minutes,” she kisses my hairline and walks out to give me my twenty minutes of space.

  “Here’s something from Max and me,” Morgan tells me sheepishly and pulls a small parcel from her purse.

  “Morgan,” I hiss out. “You know we weren’t doing gifts.”

  She opens her mouth to speak but Max gets in there first. “You’re family, kid, and we look after family.”

  “I didn’t get you guys anything,” I say dropping my head until my eyes lock onto my plate. I also acknowledge to myself the fact that Max will pay for this meal. I know it, and I can’t stop it. His big badass-ness will not let me pay a dime. He never does.

  “When my button fell off my favorite pants, who sewed it back on?” Morgan cuts in. I open my mouth to reply, but she continues, “When I was sick, who picked up all my coursework?” Once again, I go to speak. “And, when I was sick, who was it that bought me medicine, took my temperature, sat with me when I hurled, and who cleaned up that vomit?”

  “Well—”

  “You baked Morgan a cake and took her to the beach on her birthday when I was away on business,” Max growls out, and my eyes shoot to him. “Like I said, we’re family, kid, it’s what we do,” he says then continues eating like he didn’t just rock my world.

  “Thank you.” It’s not the present I’m thanking them for—it’s that they have given me family, but as Morgan squeezes my hand, I know she gets it.

  “Open it,” she says, and I rip at the packaging.

  There are two things inside. A gift card which I can use to buy textbooks. My eyes meet hers, and she winks as I smile. I look back down to the little box and open it carefully. Inside is a Pandora bracelet. I blow out a breath and look back at Morgan.

  “There’s something else,” she says, and I look back to the bracelet to see a charm attached. As I pull it from the box it glistens in the light, and I see the heart charm with the word ‘Sister’ emblazoned across it with a little pink heart-shaped jewel embedded beneath the word.

  “It’s beautiful,” I wheeze out.

  Morgan leans forward and wraps her arms around me. “Love you, honey,” she murmurs in my ear.

  “I love you, too,” I reply.

  I pull back and look over at Max. “No fucking hugging shit,” he says pointing his fork at me, and I can’t help the gurgle of laughter that bubbles up from my chest.

  “Love you, kid,” he mutters, and I smile.

  “Love you too, Max,” I return.

  “Caden,” I gasp to myself as I scramble to answer the phone. Jumping off my bed, I press the answer button and start pacing. “Caden?” I snap out even though I’ve barely aligned the phone with the side of my face. I’ve been waiting for his call all day. It’s a little after nine now. Max left around seven, then forty minutes ago Morgan got a call from Aaron, and ten minutes later, he picked her up. I really hope those two sort out their shit because they belong together.

  I’m shocked when it’s not Caden’s voice that greets me. “Sorry, Laura, it’s Tina.” His mom surprises me, and I’m momentarily stunned as I stop pacing and stand with my mouth hanging open. “Laura?” she questions warily.

  “S-Sorry, Mrs. Reigns,” I murmur.

  “Tina, please. And I’m sorry for surprising you by calling.”

  I open my mouth to reply, but no words come from my scratchy throat.

  “I…” She breaks off from whatever she was about to say.

  “Are they okay?” I rush out stumbling to my bed and dropping on it like my legs might give way if her answer is anything other than yes.

  “They?”

  “Tarrant, Caden,” I ease their names out gently.

  “Y-Yes,” she stutters and then coughs like her words are stuck.

  “W-What happened? Do you know about the argument I had with your husband?” I question.

  “I do. That wasn’t your fault. I wish… it doesn’t matter.”

  She breaks off, and we both stay silent at our respective ends of the phone.

  “Laura, I’m not sure why I called really. I tried to convince myself it’s because you needed to know what was happening. Honestly, though, I think it would be better if Caden explains.” I hear her sigh.

  “Mrs… Tina. Why hasn’t Caden called me?” I ask hoping she’ll be honest.

  “Oh.” She seems surprised by my question. I’m not sure what she was expecting me to ask. “He kept saying all day that he needed to call you. We’ve been at the police station and at the hospital. He’s been taking care of me, of his brother. We put too much pressure on the boys. It wasn’t fair…” she starts spiraling and going off on a tangent.

  My mind is still stuck at the hospital.

  “Why was Caden at the hospital?” I ask and my voice trembles.

  “Tarrant’s there,” she says offhandedly.

  “Oh my God.” My chest heaves and I place my palm on the wall.

  “Sorry, I’m mucking all this up. There was a fight. Tarrant was knocked out for a few moments, and they’re keeping him in.”

  I gasp, and my heart races.

  “Don’t worry, he’ll be fine,” she soothes. “I only called because Caden wanted to, but we haven’t had any time, he was exhausted. We got back from the hospital about an hour ago, and I said I’d make dinner. I was only in the kitchen for ten minutes, but when I walked back into the living room he was asleep. I didn’t want to wake him, but I felt like I needed to let you know. It was important to him.” She sighs.

  “Thank you,” I whisper down the line. There’s a lot I want to know, so many questions to ask, but it’s not the right time or the right person. I have to take solace in the fact that she has told me they’re both okay. “Will you ask Caden to call me tomorrow, please?” I ask.

  “Of course,” she replies softly. “Laura, thank you for loving my sons.” She knocks the wind out of me, but before I can answer, she’s gone.

  The moment Tina cuts the call, I tap out a text to Tarrant.

  Me: Are you okay? You didn’t call me.r />
  I hit send and watch the screen for eight minutes… eight minutes can feel like a lifetime. I give up realizing he’s probably not going to answer, so I dive into bed pulling the covers over me desperately trying to find sleep.

  It’s early morning and I’m pacing. I couldn’t sleep, no matter how much I tried. Morgan’s text late last night saying she was staying at Aaron’s made me happy and thankful. If she saw me like this, she would want to know everything, and right now I have no answers for her because I have no idea what’s going on myself.

  I’ve been up since the ass crack of dawn, I’ve managed to shower, get dressed in a pair of black leggings, black high tops, a purple tank with the word ‘Pow’ on it—think Batman circa Adam West—a zip through purple hoodie, and I’ve pulled my hair into a bun, foregoing the makeup. I even studied for an hour before I realized that I had read the same line over and over the whole time I was at my desk.

  “Ugh!” I shout out loud. The dorm is still quiet. Classes don’t start until the second week of January, but in a few days, people will slowly start coming back to school. Some people like to stay with their families until the last minute, especially if they have left boyfriends or girlfriends behind, others like to come back as soon as they can. Plus, there is always a New Year’s Eve party, and a lot of students come back just to make sure they don’t miss it.

  I grab my keys, purse, and cell and shove them into my pockets before walking out of the dorm. I’m not sure what I’m doing, but I need to get out. I’m starting to feel claustrophobic in that room. I thought about going for a run this morning, but then I laughed at myself because I don’t run. Ever. I mean, maybe if a bear was chasing me or something, but otherwise running can suck it.

  Wandering around in no particularly logical way for a little over an hour, allowing the sun to shine on my face even as the breath I puff from my mouth turns visibly white in the air. I keep my hands deep in my pockets to try and ward off the cold, but even with the low temperature, I feel better being outside. Pulling out my cell, I check the time and am surprised to see it’s after nine thirty now. I also notice that Caden has texted and for some reason, my stupid phone didn’t alert me.

  Caden: I’m coming back 2 talk 2 you. Be there at 10.

  Seeing the local IHOP across the road from me, I make my way over. Once I’ve warmed up a little and have ordered some buttermilk pancakes and coffee, I text Caden.

  Me: At the IHOP just outside town, meet me here?

  I don’t get a response, and as I know he’s driving he won’t be able to respond, but I’m hoping he’s at least seen the text.

  I’m nursing my second coffee when he walks through the door.

  “Hey,” he greets, easing into the chair opposite me.

  “Hey,” I return.

  “Bacon, eggs, and pancakes. Oh, and coffee, please,” he calls to the waitress a table over.

  “Sure.” She smiles and gives him an appreciative once over. Caden is hot, and it’s obvious to see he gets some attention, but it’s nowhere close to what Tarrant gets.

  I sit quietly and allow him to eat his food. He looks starved, and I’m starting to worry about what exactly has happened.

  Caden finishes his meal and asks for another coffee.

  “What’s going on?” I demand, not willing to wait any longer.

  He sighs and hangs his head for a moment. “Good news or bad news?” he asks.

  “Is that really a question people still ask?” I growl out in frustration.

  “Okay fine, sorry,” he says sheepishly. “I told my family about me. Dad is in jail for aggravated assault and Tarrant is in the hospital,” he shoots the words out rapidly like he’s getting rid of their meaning by hurrying.

  “What!” I shout pushing up out of my chair and leaning over the table at him.

  “Whoa, Rambo,” he says holding his hands up and trying to grin, but it comes across as a grimace.

  “This shit is not funny, Caden,” I snap.

  His eyes change and a darkness seeps into them, the kind I usually see in Tarrant. “No. It’s definitely not fucking funny,” he replies grinding his teeth.

  I sink back into my chair, and the waitress sensing the all clear brings over the coffee.

  “I’m sorry, Button,” he says once she’s gone.

  “It’s okay,” I reply.

  “No, it’s not. I’m having a hard time with all this. I feel like I should have done more, been more, helped more.” He sighs and pulls his hand down his face wincing at the movement. “Shit! How am I able to make every situation about me?” He shakes his head at himself. Disgust in his eyes.

  “Hey. Stop it,” I murmur gently grabbing his hand in mine. “Tell me what’s going on, Caden,” I whisper, and he nods back.

  “From what I can piece together, earlier in the evening you walked in on Dad being a dick to Tarrant. I knew they argued sometimes, but I didn’t realize quite how fucked up the things Dad said to him were, though.” He carefully clicks his neck left and right then continues, “When Dad came back from his office, it was obvious he was in a different zone. He starts acting differently when he gets like that,” he explains looking at me. “Mom came up to me worried, and I watched him closely. Thankfully, people started leaving soon after and within an hour, everyone had left. That’s when Dad started shouting saying shit about Tarrant. How he’s worthless, and other nasty bullshit that I’m not getting into. He mouthed off about you, too, and said he’d ordered you to leave.”

  I nod my head at his statement and a muscle jumps in his cheek.

  “Anyway, I figured Tarrant had taken you somewhere. I’m not sure what happened in the next few minutes, it’s kind of a blur, but I remember he was going off on one. Mom asked him to calm down.” His gaze pins me. “‘Please calm down, honey,’ that’s all she fucking said, and the next second he had flown across the room and was holding her against the wall around the neck.” Caden takes a deep breath and looks out of the window. “I pulled him off her, and then he started hitting me.” His eyes meet mine again. “I… I’m not a fighter, Laura,” he tells me almost apologetically.

  “Don’t,” I murmur and give his hand a squeeze.

  “Dad trained.” He shrugs. “He never became a professional boxer, he wasn’t good enough, but he trained. I couldn’t hold him off, and all I know is I was taking blows to the ribs. Mom tried to pull him off me, but he pushed her over. The next thing Tarrant was there, and he pulled Dad off me.”

  I gasp and hold my other hand over my mouth as though it will contain my emotion. “What then?” I squeeze out the words between my fingers almost afraid to ask.

  Caden looks back outside and his eyes glaze over slightly. “Tarrant is a trained fighter.”

  I feel myself jolt at his words, but I’m not sure why—the way Tarrant carries himself and the darkness in him, it makes complete sense.

  “One of the reasons they have argued for so long is because Tarrant gave it up. Dad saw a professional in him, but Tarrant never wanted it and unlike me, he’s not willing to put Dad’s wishes first.”

  “D-Do you resent, Tarrant?” I stutter out.

  Caden looks back at me and frowns, rubbing his chin like he’s considering my question.

  “No. The truth is, Tarrant gave it up a few years ago, and suddenly Dad didn’t have his golden boy… that’s when his attention turned to me. I have to admit it was nice at first. He’d never really given me any time before that. I guess I wasn’t considered worthy back then. Suddenly, I was, and at sixteen it was a huge bonus.” He shrugs. “The problem was that Tarrant and Dad started having major arguments, and I hated it. Roll forward a year, and I wasn’t sure football was where my heart still laid, but I was afraid to give it up. I wish I was more like Tarrant. I guess the truth is I’m more like my mom.”

  “Caden, we’re all different. You’ve been doing the best you can for a long time, especially at that age. It’s a confusing time for all of us,” I say, swallowing down my own pain. />
  “Tarrant kept training… Dad, Mom, they didn’t know. He enjoyed it but didn’t want it to be his life. When he told them he wanted to race cars, Dad laughed, said he’d never be anything more than an oily garage attendant, fixing real people’s cars.” He shakes his head. “Tarrant and Dad haven’t had a loving relationship for years.”

  “So what happened when Tarrant pulled your dad off you?” I ask gently.

  “Dad tried to beat on him, but Tarrant surprised him by fighting back, hard… harder than Dad could handle.”

  “Okay, then how did Tarrant end up in the hospital?” I whimper on the last word, barely able to squeeze it out.

  Caden pulls his hand from mine and taps his fingers against the table. “Dad couldn’t beat Tarrant, so he grabbed this heavy trophy which was displayed on the side, and he hit him on the head with the bottom of it.”

  “Oh my God,” I choke out.

  “Yeah. The bottom of it is fucking heavy as shit and has pretty sharp edges, too. Tarrant dropped to the floor immediately. Fuck! Laura, there was blood everywhere,” his voice wobbles betraying the emotion he’s trying hard to contain.

  My eyes are swimming with tears, and I gulp down a sob as I think of Tarrant lying on the floor in a pool of blood.

  “I t-thought… I thought he was dead, Laura,” he whispers.

  I can’t stop the emotion as the tears run freely. “He’s okay, though? Your mom said that, right?” I demand.

  He nods. “Yeah, the ambulance came and rushed him to the hospital. The cops came and took Dad away, and I shouted at my mom for wanting to get back with such a fucking awful man and bringing us back into his care.”

  My eyes widen.

  “I apologized after. It was in the heat of the moment, although I think truthfully she blames herself anyway.”

  “So… T-Tarrant?” I whimper.

  “He was unconscious but only for a few minutes. He had a head wound obviously, but he just needed some stitches. They wanted to keep him in for observation, though, I think he’ll be out tomorrow.”