Brothers In Law

by Henry Cecil

  ‘You’re very young, if I may say so,’ she said. She did not mean that she was in the least dismayed. Several of her friends had had divorces. One had to go through the formalities and that was all. Indeed, it was very nice to be represented by a pleasant-looking young man who couldn’t keep his eyes off one’s legs.

  ‘It must be an awful responsibility,’ she added.

  Roger coughed. ‘That’s what we’re here for,’ he said eventually.

  ‘I’m so glad,’ said Mrs Newent, and recrossed her legs. ‘I feel sort of safe with you.’

  Even at that early stage and even with his inexperience, Roger began to wonder whether the discretion statement constituted the full and frank disclosure which such statements are supposed to be. He remembered, too, that the statement said quite a number of things about the husband and the dance and so forth, but when it came to the adultery it was disposed of in a very few words. The reason for Mr Storrington going into her bedroom was slurred over in the words, ‘Somehow or other he came in.’

  ‘Now,’ went on Mrs Newent, ‘was there something you wanted to ask me?’

  By this time Roger had looked again at the cases and it certainly seemed as if what he had told Sally was right. It appeared that, in spite of Sally’s doubts, the law was that, provided the adulteress was clever enough, she had the right that her husband should go on living with her. But there was just the point that it was for her to prove that her husband knew nothing about it. Roger quite rightly wanted to be sure of this.

  ‘It’s about your discretion statement,’ he began.

  ‘Mr Smith here wrote that out,’ said Mrs Newent. ‘I only signed it, you know. That’s right, isn’t it, Mr Smith?’

  ‘I wrote it out on your instructions, Mrs Newent.’

  ‘Instructions? I don’t remember giving any instructions.’

  ‘It’s what you told me, I mean.’

  ‘Oh, yes. What long words you lawyers use. If you’d said that at first I’d have understood.’

  ‘I take it the statement is true, Mrs Newent?’ asked Roger.

  ‘True?’ said Mrs Newent, recrossing her legs. ‘Of course. Mr Smith wouldn’t have written it down otherwise, would he?’

  ‘There was only the once and you’d had a little too much to drink.’

  ‘That’s right. Gin and frenches all the evening. I felt on top of the world.’

  ‘I thought you became dizzy and faint.’

  ‘That’s right.’

  ‘After you felt on top of the world you became dizzy and faint?’ asked Roger.

  ‘That’s right,’ said Mrs Newent. ‘You are a clever young man. I’m glad I’ve got you. D’you mind if I have a cigarette?’

  ‘Of course not,’ said Roger and offered her one and lit it for her. She guided his hand to the cigarette, much to his discomfort.

  ‘I think you ought to do very well,’ she said. ‘I shall remember you appeared for me when I see your name in the papers.’

  Roger blushed and coughed and tried to look at the ceiling.

  ‘Now, there’s another thing,’ he said. ‘Are you quite sure that your husband knew nothing about this and suspected nothing?’ For answer Mrs Newent put her first finger to the side of her nose and winked.

  ‘Are you sure?’ repeated Roger.

  ‘Not a notion,’ said Mrs Newent. ‘We were discretion itself, if you’ll pardon my using the word.’

  ‘But,’ said Roger, ‘it only happened once and then you were faint and dizzy. How can you have been discretion itself if you were faint and dizzy?’

  ‘Come now, young man,’ said Mrs Newent. ‘I’m not sure you’re as clever as I thought. I go to a dance. Right?’

  ‘Yes,’ said Roger.

  ‘I drink too much. Right?’

  ‘Yes,’ said Roger.

  ‘I go out into the cold air and as every judge knows – I should hope – it hits me for six. Right?’

  ‘You became faint and dizzy.’

  ‘Exactly. So he helps me home. Now I’m home. I’m still faint and dizzy at the bottom of the stairs. Can’t get up by myself. Right?’

  ‘Yes.’

  ‘He helps me up the stairs. We get to my room. Still faint and dizzy. With me?’

  ‘Yes.’

  ‘Like the perfect gentleman he is he sees me into my bedroom. All clear so far?’

  ‘Yes.’

  ‘Right. Well, when we get into the bedroom we take a liking to each other – see, and I become less faint and dizzy. But it was too late then.’

  ‘How do you know your husband knows nothing about it?’

  ‘Because he wasn’t there and no one could have told him. As soon as we took a liking to one another I sent Bert out of the room to his own room, making enough noise that people in the next room would have heard him go away within a minute or two of his coming in. Then he comes back like a mouse. Didn’t even hear him come in myself. Didn’t hear him go, either. I was asleep then. But I know he was ever so careful.’

  ‘When your husband came back, did he seem to suspect anything?’

  ‘Not a thing. He was just the same as ever. Cold as an iceberg. A woman’s got to get a bit of warmth from someone, hasn’t she?’

  ‘But it was only once?’

  ‘It was only once,’ replied Mrs Newent with emphasis. ‘Because I know what’s nice,’ she added, ‘that doesn’t mean to say I don’t know what’s wrong. And with all the other boarders around you’ve got to be careful. People talk. Now what else d’you want to ask me? I’m getting a bit tired of this cross-questioning. I thought you were on my side.’

  ‘Of course I’m on your side,’ said Roger, ‘but I have to ask you these questions.’

  ‘Well, I can’t think why,’ said Mrs Newent. ‘It’s all plain and straightforward. I want a divorce, Mr Newent wants a divorce, what more d’you want? I don’t know why there’s all this palaver, anyway.’

  ‘We don’t have divorce by consent in this country,’ said Roger.

  ‘Well – who says it’s by consent? He left me, didn’t he? That’s desertion, isn’t it? Then you have this ridiculous business about discretion. I wouldn’t have told you if I’d known there’d be all this fuss. Was I faint and dizzy? When did I stop being faint and dizzy? And if not, why not? You wouldn’t have known if I hadn’t told you and there wouldn’t have been all this nonsense. I’ll know better another time. I thought one could trust one’s lawyer.’

  ‘We have a duty to the Court,’ said Mr Smith.

  ‘Fiddlesticks,’ said Mrs Newent. ‘A lot of old fools sitting up there, what do they care? They’re half asleep, anyway. I went with my friend the other day. No fuss about hers. All over in five minutes. She didn’t put in any discretion statement either, not on your sweet life. She couldn’t have remembered for one thing. I’m too honest, that’s my trouble. And what do I get for it? Asked a lot of intimate questions. I’d be ashamed if I were a man. It’s not as though I’d done anything really wrong.’

  ‘But I thought you said–’ began Roger.

  ‘All right, Mr Clever, not as wrong as all that. There are worse things. Murder, for instance, or blackmail. All right, I was wrong to let him in my room that night. All right. I’ve told you. There it is in black and white. You’ve got my ruddy discretion statement and I hope it chokes you both – and the judge. Now, is there anything else you want?’

  The conference was very different from the one Roger had visualized and he was glad when it ended. He felt slightly sick. Mrs Newent was not quite the sort of maiden he would care to rescue, even fully clothed.

  Chapter Nine

  Joyce

  That evening he dined with Joy. He had not had the cheque from the solicitors, but his mother had lent him the money.

  ‘Of course, darling,’ she had said. ‘It’ll be an investment, really. You’ll be able to keep me soon. Won’t that be lovely? And I shan’t have to look to Aunt Ethel for a new dress. I do think you’re clever, darling.’

  ‘It was Joy
really, Mother.’

  ‘But I’m sure the solicitors wouldn’t have sent it to you if they hadn’t heard of your reputation. I shall tell everyone about you. Fancy making a name for yourself in a week. But then I knew you would. It’s your father in you. Not me, I’m afraid. Now that it’s all right, I don’t mind telling you, I’ve always been a little frightened that you might be a fool like me. I’m so glad you’re not, darling. Shall we get a bottle of champagne and celebrate. We can pay for it next month.’

  ‘That’d be lovely, darling, but I must go out with Joy tonight.’

  ‘Oh, of course.’

  ‘And you mustn’t start talking about my having made a name for myself. I haven’t done anything of the sort. I’ve been sent my first brief by the uncle of a girlfriend and it’s just an undefended divorce. I haven’t even done it yet. I might make an awful mess of it.’

  ‘Oh, no you won’t, not you.’

  ‘Well, I hope not, but – oh, darling, I’m appearing for the most awful woman. I’m so glad you’re not like her.’

  ‘Thank you, darling. So am I, if she’s all that awful.’

  ‘She’s really terrible. It makes me feel uncomfortable to meet her. And the things she says. D’you know I felt quite sick after I’d had a conference with her. Don’t tell anyone else. I suppose one’s got to get used to that sort of thing, but I hope I don’t get many more like her. I’ll be glad when it’s over. Would you like to come and hear it?’

  ‘Darling, of course. When is it?’

  ‘Tomorrow.’

  ‘You must tell me how to get there. Or will you take me?’

  ‘Well, darling – you know I’d love to take you – but don’t you think it would look a bit obvious if we went in together? Rather like showing off. Besides, I don’t want it to look as if it were my first brief. You do understand, don’t you?’

  ‘Of course, darling. I won’t come at all, if you’d rather not.’

  ‘No, I’d love you to.’

  ‘I shan’t make you nervous?’

  ‘Oh, no – once it’s started, I shall be all right.’

  ‘Well, you must tell me where it is. One of those places with blue lamps outside them, is it?’

  ‘Mother, darling, those are police stations.’

  ‘That’s right. Well, there’s a Court next to them sometimes, isn’t there?’

  ‘Mother, this is the High Court of Justice, Probate, Divorce and Admiralty Division. It’s in the Law Courts in the Strand. It’s the most important legal place there is, except the House of Lords and Privy Council.’

  ‘Well, you mustn’t be cross with me, darling. I don’t know anything about the law. And what did you say about Admiralty? I thought yours was a divorce case. Does an admiral try it? I must say, he’d look rather sweet with his cocked hat.’

  ‘No, it’s the Divorce Division, but that’s linked up with Admiralty and Probate for historical reasons. But it won’t be an admiral in a cocked hat. It’ll be a judge in a wig and gown. And I’ll be in mine too. I’ll tell you how to get there and which Court it’s in. Now I really must fly or I’ll be late for Joy. Thank you so much for the money.’

  Joy was all ready for him, looking very pretty indeed. They went to a Soho restaurant.

  ‘This is going to be a lovely evening,’ said Joy on the way. ‘I’m so proud of you, Roger. I know you’re going to do terribly well. Uncle Alfred’s very impressed too. He says there’s an awful shortage of young men at the Bar and you’re just what he’s looking for. You mustn’t say I told you, but if you do this case all right, he’s going to send you a lot more.’

  ‘Oh – Joy, it sounds too good to be true.’

  ‘I gave him such a nice kiss for it. Right in the middle of his forehead. Funny, that’s where he likes it. It’s not my idea. But then an uncle’s different. Oh, here we are. It’s going to be a lovely evening, Roger.’

  She squeezed his arm.

  ‘Two, sir?’ said the waiter. ‘Over here, sir, if you please. Will this suit you, sir? Thank you, sir. And what about a little aperitif before dinner? Dry Martini, glass of sherry, anything you like, sir?’

  ‘Do you think I should, Joy? I shall want a clear head in the morning.’

  ‘Of course, silly. It won’t hurt you at all. Buck you up. Stop you feeling nervous. I’ll have a Dry Martini, please. You do the same, Roger. It’ll be good for you.’

  So they each had a Dry Martini and with their dinner they had a bottle of wine and by the middle of dinner, Roger, egged on by Joy, could see himself persuading judges, convincing juries and generally making a big name for himself at the Bar.

  ‘Then you’ll become a QC, Roger. I’m sure you’ll be the youngest ever.’

  ‘D’you really think so?’

  ‘Of course I do. But then I expect you’ll forget all about little me.’

  ‘How can you say such a thing? It’ll all be due to you really.’

  ‘Then you won’t drop me like an old sock when you’re successful?’

  ‘I’m not like that, Joy.’

  ‘No, Roger, but you’ll have so many people around you. I’m not very big, Roger. Sally’s much taller.’

  ‘Don’t let’s talk about Sally.’

  Even older men can imagine a lot and forget a lot under the influence of a few drinks. At twenty-one all sorts of things can happen. To Roger, Joy seemed prettier than she’d ever been, really lovely, so that when she eventually said softly, looking down at her coffee: ‘Roger, will you be a little loving to me tonight?’ he was able to answer without any effort: ‘Joy, darling, you know I will.’

  ‘Roger, darling.’

  Everything felt strangely unreal to Roger and it was very pleasant. He was going to be a great man and he had the prettiest girl in the world opposite him. Life was very good, very good indeed. Then he thought of his case in the morning. Perhaps it would be reported in the papers. Oh, no, of course it couldn’t be, except for the judge’s judgment. Thinking of the case he suddenly thought of his client, Mrs Newent. It gave him a slightly unpleasant shock but, when he mentioned her, Joy helped him by saying: ‘But in a great career you’re bound to come across nasty people. Someone had to defend Crippen, didn’t they?’

  ‘Of course. How silly of me.’

  They got up from the table. Roger felt slightly wobbly on his feet. Suddenly he thought of his client again. ‘Faint and dizzy.’ Well, he didn’t feel faint or dizzy, but he did feel as though everything was very easy to do. A lack of restraint, that’s what it was. Had he misjudged Mrs Newent? Perhaps she wasn’t used to drink and it had done something to her. He could understand it now. He had never really wanted to kiss Joy before. But when she put herself in his arms in the taxi, there was no difficulty about it at all.

  ‘Darling, you’re wonderful,’ he said.

  ‘Roger, I love you.’

  ‘I love you, Joy.’

  ‘Oh, Roger, I’m so happy.’

  Chapter Ten

  The Divorce Court

  The next morning Roger woke with a slight headache. There was a ring on the telephone. He got out of bed and answered it. It was Sally.

  ‘Just to wish you good luck, Roger. I shall be there, but you needn’t take any notice of me.’

  ‘Oh, thank you, Sally. Thank you very much for ringing.’

  He went back to bed for a few minutes. What had he said to Joy the night before? What hadn’t he said? Oh, dear, how difficult it all was. And they’d both be there. Well, he mustn’t think of that now. He must concentrate on his case. He had found out that you don’t normally address the judge in an undefended divorce case before calling your evidence. Henry had told him and he’d been to hear some cases, as Sally had suggested. They certainly sounded simple enough.

  He got to chambers early and found Henry there already.

  ‘Who are you in front of?’ Henry asked.

  ‘Judge Crane.’

  ‘Oh, that’s good. You’ll be all right in front of him. Bit of luck for you you’re not b
efore Judge Ryman. He’s sitting today. He can be very difficult. He actually tries all his cases. It can be very awkward. Personally, I think he’s right, but I’m in a decided minority. I think it’s for Parliament to change the law if people want divorce made easier. But very few people agree with me. I expect I’m wrong, but there it is. Glad you’re not in front of Ryman. That would have been a bit tough for your first case.’

  At ten minutes past ten Roger, feeling rather self-conscious, walked across the Strand carrying his blue bag. He was on the way to the robing-room. At the entrance to the Law Courts he met his mother.

  ‘Not late, you see, darling,’ she said. ‘Can you tell me where I go?’

  ‘Would you mind very much asking an attendant? I’ve got to go and robe and I don’t want to be late. We’re sixth in the list, but you can never tell. Some of the people in the first five cases might not be there.’

  He felt a little like he did in his first days at a public school when he was terrified his mother would call him by his Christian name.

  He robed and went to the Court. He found Mrs Newent outside. She did not at first recognize him in his wig. She had recovered from her fit of anger in chambers and, feeling a little nervous herself, wanted someone to be nice to her.

  ‘You look sweet,’ she said.

  Roger blushed and coughed.

  ‘I don’t think we’ll have to wait very long,’ he said.

  ‘It’s going to be all right, isn’t it?’ said Mrs Newent.

  ‘Oh, yes, I think so,’ said Roger with reasonable confidence. Now that it was so near to the beginning of the battle, he was glad to think that Judge Crane was an easy judge. How nice of Henry to tell him. What a good chap he was. It made all the difference. He did in fact feel a little weak at the knees. He walked into the Court and at once saw Joy sitting at one end and Sally at the other. They were both attractively dressed. He tried not to let them see he had noticed them. His mother was sitting in the middle of a row. Counsel’s row was almost full, but he was just able to get a seat at the end. A few minutes later the judge came in. The associate got up and called: ‘Foster against Foster,’ and then handed the papers in the case to the judge. Counsel got up and the case began.