Twice Loved

by Wendy Lindstrom

  Radford heard Evelyn’s bedroom door close and purposefully stepped into the hall in front of her, halting in stunned appreciation when his eyes met hers. The emerald vision before him left him speechless. He could see the breathless rise and fall of her chest, but his own breathing seemed to have stopped. His gaze traveled the length of her gown and returned slowly to her face that had flushed to the color of spring roses. Her eyes were the exact green of her dress and that hair... that glorious abundance of shining black ringlets that he loved unbound and swirling around her hips, surprised him that it could be so magnificent styled any other way. A single strand dangled seductively over her ear and trailed between her collarbones.

  Unconsciously, he moved forward and cupped her arms in his palms, letting his hands slide down her silk sleeves until they rested at her wrists. “You’re magnificent.”

  “Thank you.” Her voice shook and she lowered her lashes.

  He gently squeezed her wrists, regaining her attention. “I need to talk to you.”

  “Evelyn!” William called up the stairs. “There’s an overdressed young man down here that says he’s willing to give you a ride to the wedding if you’re ready to go. You are ready, aren’t you?” William hollered from below.

  “Yes, Papa,” Evelyn said over the railing.

  “Tell him you forgot something in your room,” Radford urged, desperate to steal a few minutes alone with her.

  “I can’t.” Evelyn ducked her face. “I have to go.” He tightened his hold around her wrists, but she stepped around him and gently, but firmly, pulled free. “You don’t have to explain about honoring Kyle,” she said quietly. “I understand. And I admire you for it.”

  Kyle stood by the door, as spit-shined as his Sunday shoes, and incredibly handsome. Evelyn flushed as his eyes raked her from her tumbled curls to her green-encased toes, staring until her father cuffed his shoulder.

  “Come here, pixie, before this boy drools on himself,” he said. He put his thin arms around her and hugged her. “Sometimes you remind me so much of your mother it tears my heart out.” He kissed her cheek then steered her toward Kyle. “Go on before I start rainin’ all over myself. I’ll follow with Radford.”

  Kyle didn’t move and Evelyn squirmed beneath his intense regard. “Will you quit staring like you’ve never seen me in a dress before?” She whisked her palms down the front of her gown. “I’m the same girl you chased through the apple orchard.”

  “Sorry,” he said with a sheepish grin. He stepped aside and opened the door for her, but the instant it banged closed behind them, he reached out and caught her elbow. “You’d better stay away from that orchard tonight,” he said, his voice alarmingly seductive. “I wouldn’t let you get away this time.” In a moment he would be trying to kiss her and she just couldn’t let him. She cared too deeply for him to let him pursue a relationship with no future. Instead of commenting, she tugged him toward the carriage, let him assist her inside then talked about her horses all the way to the wedding.

  The church was packed when they arrived and she heard the murmur begin when they entered. She huddled beneath her shawl, blushing from the surprised stares of all the guests. When the ceremony began and the bride and groom gazed at each other with adoration, Evelyn knew she’d made the right decision about Kyle.

  Her legs quaked as he escorted her from the church and took her to the reception. Radford stood just inside Colter Hall beside Duke and Boyd, holding Rebecca’s hand in his long, bronzed fingers. His hair was brushed back into thick, deep-brown waves that fell over his white collar. Even next to Boyd’s extraordinary good looks, Radford was more attractive, more compelling in his cheviot suit of charcoal gray that complemented his lean height and dark features.

  All eyes turned toward Evelyn and Kyle as though they were unknown guests. The men gawked at her the same way Kyle had earlier and she had never felt more conspicuous in her life.

  Kyle touched her back and she looked up into his beaming face. “I believe you’re creating a scene. The girls are green and the older ladies are breaking their necks to get a look at you. Not to mention the men.”

  She stared at him for a second before she laughed. “Oh, bosh. They’re probably trying to see if I’m wearing my work boots beneath my dress.”

  He laughed and gestured toward the crowd. “Look.”

  She did then clasped his arm for dear life. “Get me out of this doorway and find our table.” She heard his deep chuckle and silently cursed him as he winked at his brothers on the way by. The strutting cock was enjoying this while she was dodging the stares of men like Greg Hopper who was having trouble finding his mouth with his beer mug.

  Kyle took her to the table their families were sharing then brought her a glass of punch. “Don’t drink that too fast. I heard that Perry Morton laced it with corn liquor.”

  Evelyn gulped it down, hoping to calm her quaking limbs. Her father raised a gray eyebrow and she shrugged.

  He laughed and shook his head.

  She glanced at Kyle’s mother, but she was playing with Rebecca and Helen who were ducking behind Doc Kendall’s chair.

  Evelyn drew a deep breath and tried to clear her mind. She watched the dancers twirl by, swirling scents of lavender powder and cologne, their laughter cheerful as they clung to each other. As her gaze traveled the room, she smelled the musty old wood, tobacco, yeasty beer, and beeswax, smells unlike her livery or Brown and Shepherd’s store.

  Radford stood a few feet away, laughing with his brothers and their competitor, Tom Drake, but when he spotted Evelyn, his smile disappeared. His eyes grew dark, searching hers as if asking her a silent question.

  Tom’s daughter, Amelia, joined their party and Radford turned away to greet Evelyn’s friend. Amelia’s chestnut-colored, long hair was pulled up in an elegant twist and secured with a pearl clasp that matched the buttons on her dress of mocha brown. Evelyn admired Amelia’s simple elegance, but she envied her Radford’s attention. When Amelia smiled and waved, Evelyn returned the greeting with sincerity. Still, she was relieved when Boyd swept Amelia into a dance and away from Radford.

  “My dear, you are simply lovely tonight.”

  Startled, Evelyn turned to see Agatha Brown seating herself in the empty chair beside her.

  “How did you get all that hair on top of your head in such a becoming style?” the store owner asked with a smile in her eyes.

  “I used every pin in the house then I stole Radford’s horseshoe nails. They hurt a little, but they kept it in place.”

  Mrs. Brown laughed delightedly. “Well, that’s just the answer I deserve for being nosy.”

  Evelyn sobered immediately. “I didn’t mean that at all, Mrs. Brown. I was jesting.”

  “I know that, dear. I’m just discovering how fun it is to play again. Your father tells me I used to have quite a sense of humor and that I used to make him laugh. We were just talking about the day when...”

  As Mrs. Brown rattled on, Evelyn sat in a state of amazement, for she’d never really seen this side of the woman.

  “... but my Frank took me to our favorite picnic area at Point Graitiot where we could watch the ships sail in and out of Dunkirk. We’d share fresh bread and cheese and”—Agatha paused, casting a conspiratorial look at Evelyn—”and a few sips of wine. It was quite romantic, really.”

  To think that Mrs. Brown went on picnics and drank wine was shocking. But Evelyn hung on every word, blocking Radford from her thoughts and the fact that the Grayson men were openly admiring Amelia Drake, whom Evelyn could see out of the corner of her envious eye.

  “Picnics by Lake Erie were twice as romantic at night, but Frank and I were married then,” Mrs. Brown said with a wink. “Do you and that young man of yours go for picnics?”

  “No, he’s too busy with the mill.”

  “No one should be too busy to spend time with their sweetheart. That’s very important,” she warned, waving a finger. “You need a man that would put everything aside if you aske
d him to. That’s how you know if he really loves you.”

  Evelyn was certain Kyle would not take a day away from his work simply because she asked him to do so. Perhaps it didn’t signify a lack of love, but it reaffirmed her decision to end their engagement.

  They sat in silence for a moment then Mrs. Brown chuckled. “You’re a very patient girl.”

  Evelyn’s brows lifted. “I am?”

  “I waited until you were sitting alone so we could talk. But I’ve been blathering like an idiot, giving you every opportunity to question me about your father, and you haven’t asked a thing.”

  “Why, I would never... It would be—”

  “Improper,” Mrs. Brown finished for her. “Well, I can tell you all about being proper. You may as well be dead.” At Evelyn’s in-drawn breath, Mrs. Brown continued. “That’s how I’ve felt since Frank died. I was expected to act the mourning widow, and I did because I was devastated. But after a while I forgot what it was like to be happy.” She turned to Evelyn, her face pained. “I spent twelve lonely years that way and it was awful. I started to remember how special life is the day you came in the store with that beautiful little girl. I saw the wonder on her face when she spotted the doll, and I could tell by your eyes that you would have sacrificed anything in that moment to be able to give it to her. I thought, this is the spirit of love. To have someone who needs you as much as you need them. I knew that I could learn something from you.”

  “What could I possibly teach you?”

  “Compassion. Strength. Both traits remind me of your mother.”

  “They do?” Evelyn asked.

  Mrs. Brown leaned back in her chair, holding a glass of punch in her lap. “Your mother made up her own mind about things and had the daring to follow through with her decisions. At one time, she was my dearest friend, Evelyn. I miss her deeply.”

  Evelyn glanced down the table at her father to make sure he was occupied with the girls. “Mrs. Brown, would you tell me about my parents? Until recently I had no idea about your engagement to my father, and sometimes I feel like I never knew my mother.”

  “I came over here so we could talk. I need to know my best friend’s daughter. It’s rather selfish of me, wouldn’t you say?”

  Evelyn smiled. “I wouldn’t. I’m flattered.”

  Mrs. Brown set her empty glass on the table and folded her hands. “When your father broke our engagement, I was hurt and wrongly blamed your mother. I met Frank two years later and was shocked to find I could care so deeply for him. That’s when I realized your father did me a favor. If I had married him, I would never have met Frank. I would never have known the joy I had with my husband for fourteen years. You see, your father gave me the opportunity to find true love and be happy. It was a gift. He tried to explain it to me then, but I was angry and felt sorry for myself. And I was jealous. Frank taught me to be true to myself and that is why we were so happy.”

  “It must be unbearable without your husband.”

  Agatha squeezed Evelyn’s hand. “It is awful, but believe me, Evelyn, love is a gift worth any sacrifice.

  Evelyn thought in that moment that she could not like Agatha Brown more. “Mrs. Brown, would you consider befriending my father again? I’m sure the two of you would make very good friends, even if you’re not suited for marriage.”

  Agatha’s eyes softened to warm brown and her lips trembled. “Your father and I renewed our friendship the day I dropped off the apple pie for him. He’s even promised me a dance tonight.”

  Evelyn smiled. “No wonder my parents loved you.”

  Agatha’s eyes welled up. “All these years I’ve kept a handkerchief up my sleeve and now I can’t find the dratted thing when I need it most!”

  They were still laughing when Kyle came to claim Evelyn for a dance. She pressed her elbows to her side and ducked her head. “I’d rather not, Kyle,” she said, not wanting to encourage him knowing how their evening would end.

  Kyle leaned down and spoke near her ear. “My arms have been empty long enough.” He caught Evelyn’s waist and lifted her from the chair, guiding her directly onto the dance floor without giving her a moment to argue.

  She clutched his arm. “I don’t know how to dance.”

  “You’re with friends and family,” he said, gesturing to Radford and Amelia who were their immediate neighbors.

  She bit her lip and turned away from the sight of Radford holding another woman. “Can’t we please sit and enjoy the music?”

  “Not tonight.” Kyle drew her into his arms. “We’ll be dancing at our wedding, Ev. Tonight’s a fine night to learn how to waltz.”

  She accepted Kyle’s trembling hand, a feeling of dread pulsing through her. She focused on Kyle’s broad chest, blocking out everything except the movement of their feet and the sound of the music. Undoubtedly, Kyle’s sure steps and guiding hand made her ignorance of the function less obvious, still Evelyn tried to leave as soon as the song ended.

  “Not yet,” he said, keeping her on the floor for the full set of four songs. By the time he escorted her back to their table, Evelyn was feeling somewhat more comfortable with the dancing, but was heartsick and just wanted to go home.

  The musicians played several more sets before Kyle danced with Amelia.

  “Don’t worry about them,” Boyd said, grabbing Evelyn’s hand and pulling her up from the table. “I’m going to sweep Amelia out of Kyle’s arms and you’re going to help me do it.”

  Duke and Radford caught Boyd’s elbows and hauled him back. “I’m next,” they said in unison.

  Duke raised an eyebrow, but Radford didn’t bat a lash. “I’m pulling rank, Duke. Oldest first, remember?” Without giving Evelyn a chance to decline, Radford caught her hand and led her onto the dance floor.

  “Don’t do this,” she said, afraid everyone would see the truth in her eyes.

  “You’re too tense.” He smiled and drew her into his arms.

  “I don’t know how to dance.”

  His eyes smiled, but he didn’t. “Neither do I, but let’s not tell anyone. They’ll make us stop.” He gave her waist a gentle squeeze. “Hang on, Tomboy. You’ll do fine.”

  “I don’t want to dance with you.”

  “I know.” He sighed and drew her closer. “But I need to do this.”

  The soft strains of music filled the room with long, warm cords that drifted around them, enfolding them in a bouquet of whispers and soft caresses. Evelyn felt him drawing her closer to his chest and was helpless to fight her desire to be there. Of their own volition, her eyes lifted to his and she drank in the angles and contours of his face, the dark contrast of his brows against his tan skin.

  “If you don’t quit looking at me like that, I am going to kiss you right here on this dance floor. On the lips.”

  She pushed away. “I need to sit down.”

  “You’re drawing attention,” he said, swinging her back into his arms as though clowning with her.

  Evelyn tried to steady her knees and keep from clinging to him, though she desperately wanted to bury her face in his chest and pretend the rest of the world didn’t exist. “You’re tearing me apart, Radford.”

  He leaned back and met her eyes, but she ducked her head to hide the tremble in her lip. The rush of emotion stuck in her throat and made it ache. Radford’s fingers tightened on her waist. “Chin up, Tomboy,” he said quietly, but Evelyn kept her head down, not wanting him to see the moisture in her eyes. “I just wanted a minute alone with you. It wasn’t supposed to be like this.”

  “Like what?” Kyle asked, stopping beside them, the suspicion in his voice causing Evelyn to jerk away from Radford.

  “So warm in here,” Radford answered, though his voice was strained. “It’s nearly November. When is it going to cool off?”

  Kyle slipped a possessive arm around Evelyn’s waist and glared at Radford. “The last dance is mine.”

  “I want to leave, Kyle. Let’s follow Radford and Papa home,” she pleaded, suddenly
afraid to be alone with him.

  Kyle refused to forfeit his dance and held her prisoner in his strong arms as Radford escorted her father and Rebecca outside.

  “Let’s go to our house tonight,” Kyle said in her ear.

  Panicked, yet unable to meet his eyes while she lied, Evelyn hung her head. “I drank too much of Perry’s punch and I’m sick to my stomach,” she said, but the truth was, she was sick of lying and sick at heart.

  Kyle pulled into her driveway silent and scowling. “What’s Radford doing in the livery at this time of night?” he asked, nodding toward the small window of the tack room illuminated by soft lantern light.

  “I don’t know.” After Kyle’s scowl on the dance floor, Radford was probably staying clear of the house to avoid antagonizing him further. Kyle slowed the carriage near the porch, but Evelyn touched his shoulder. “Pull around to the far side of the driveway,” she said, indicating a shadowed area away from the house and barn that would give them some privacy.

  The carriage wheels crunched through dry leaves then rolled to a stop. Kyle turned to her with a smile blooming on his face. “Are you going to give me one of those monkey kisses again?”

  Evelyn’s chest grew tense and she met Kyle’s eyes. “No,” she said softly. “I want to talk to you.”

  His expression turned wary. “Why?”

  “I know I promised I’d always be your friend, and I will,” she said sincerely. “I’ll always care for you, Kyle, but I... I can’t keep my promise to never leave you.”

  His shoulders stiffened, but he remained silent, his eyes piercing hers.

  “Do you remember how old we were when we made those promises?” she asked.

  “Old enough to know what we were committing to,” he said, his voice hard-edged.