Heroines and Hellions: a Limited Edition Urban Fantasy Collection

by Margo Bond Collins

  "They're nearly on us!" I shouted, as we ran blindly in the wood, with no path left to follow, no idea of direction. Just the urge to escape and survive.

  "Run faster! Using magic is too risky!...fuck!" James threw himself onto the ground just in time to duck a harpy's sharp clutches.

  "ENOUGH!" I heard myself yelling, as my hand moved on its own accord, reaching behind my back to grab Hattori Hanzo's katana.

  "If it's good for tengus, it will be good for you too, ladies!" I yelled, beheading one who was almost upon me, then slashing through another who was after James. "STAY BEHIND ME, TURNER! I've got this!" I shouted, cutting through another harpy's wing who shrieked in pain and crashed into a giant tree trunk.

  "Stay back? Are you kidding me?" James roared, indignant.

  "You said you can't use magic," I replied, cutting another harpy in two. They didn't disappear in a green cloud like tengus did, but they died all right. "Without magic, you're defenceless."

  "I AM NO DAMSEL IN DISTRESS!" He yelled back, furious, as he ripped a branch from a nearby tree and smashed it against a harpy coming his way.

  "I'm not just a sedentary scholar, you know," he hit another harpy, crushing her skull. A copious amount of dark poison poured out of it.

  "Sorry, didn't mean to doubt your masculinity, Mister Alpha Male!"

  "Alpha male what?"

  "You don't like to be defended by a girl, so I thought..."

  "I see, you're one of those psycho feminists..."

  "You're one of those insecure misogynists..."

  "I AM NOT!" He protested, killing two harpies with one blow. "You met my sister, she's far from being a submissive woman!"

  "Well, yes, but..."

  "I was raised in a very liberal, modern wizard family, so don’t you dare..."

  "Call you an alpha-male?"

  "Yes...no...wait..." he suddenly sounded taken aback, as If our conversation troubled him more than the shitty situation we were facing.

  "Whatever," I replied, slashing through another harpy. "Since you're the man, find a solution to this: they keep coming and there's no way we can get rid of them, without magic!"

  "Hold on there – ‘Since I'm the man'? Are you mad? We're a team, we..."

  "Sorry to interrupt your lovely bickering, but perhaps I can be of assistance!" William's musical voice echoed in the Wood just a second before he appeared in front of us in all his elegant glory, throwing huge balls of ghost slime right, left and centre. I felt like crying.

  "WILL! I AM SO GLAD TO SEE YOU! I HAD GIVEN UP HOPE!" I shouted in an outpouring of joy, barely repressing my impulse to jump to him, and hold him tight. But, of course, ghosts cannot be hugged.

  "My apologies for the delay, child," he replied nonchalantly. "But it took me a while to return. Be ready when I tell you," he continued, splashing harpies with his slime, blinding them, gluing their wings together to make them lose control and crash against one another. I could see, though, that he was acting more slowly than usual. And he was doing it on purpose.

  “What are we waiting for?” James asked, hitting a blinded monster with his branch, while I stabbed another one with my katana.

  “I think I know what he’s up to. Just be patient,” I replied, praying that I was right. Will was trying to herd more and more harpies into one location, to be able to destroy as many as he could. We were fighting against a particularly tall tree with thick and entangled branches, which made it difficult for them to fly around, forcing them to squeeze against each other to fight us.

  “All right child, be ready…now!” William yelled, throwing a giant ball of slime at the harpies. And hitting them all. I could see another flock coming in the distance, but the way was clear for now.

  “GO!” I shouted to James, as we both ran away from the incoming harpies, the Duke flying beside us.

  “We don’t know where to go,” James protested.

  “We do,” I panted back. “Away from them.”

  “Good point.”

  We ran and ran as fast as we could. We ran until it felt like our lungs were on fire, and there was no saliva left in our mouths. We ran until our chests felt ready to explode. Then we finally stopped.

  “Any sign of them?” I asked, collapsing on a stainless steel rock on the border of the path.

  “No, we gave them the slip, my dear, as planned,” William replied, flying higher up, to see if he could spot any of our assailants. But, thankfully, there were none.

  “Let’s… Let’s catch our breath for a minute,” I exhaled, exhausted.

  “Yes,” James replied. He didn’t look any less tired than me. He sat beside me, on the same steel-like rock.

  “OK Will, time to tell us what happened to you,” I started, after air had somehow re-filled my burning lungs. “We passed through the gate and you were gone. I couldn’t communicate with you, not even feel your thoughts in the distance…I was so worried!”

  “Yes, I could tell you were upset, Miss Wise,” James interjected. “But you managed to hide it brilliantly!”

  I gave him a meaningful look and continued: “This was the very first time I had lost contact with you in over seventeen years! Can you tell me what happened?”

  “Again, I am very sorry, darling,” He replied. “Getting rid of that illusion proved to be much more difficult than I would have imagined. Everything was so perfect, I am sure that you can understand, having been through the same experience. I was…well, alive for a start,” he continued, with a little hesitation. William had died in his early forties of a very violent death, and never got over it. No wonder he was alive, in his illusion. “I was also a very popular billionaire. It felt and looked so very real. So very seducing. Still, I had a feeling, deep down inside me that...”

  “That something was missing, right?” I cut him off. “That something wasn’t right, that you were needed elsewhere?”

  “Exactly!” He nodded. “And I could not shake it off. Days seemed to go by, then, one morning I entered my walk-in wardrobe and, to my horror, I found a dark brown suit matched with…a grey tie! Can you believe it? That was when I realised it was all a lie. The real me would have never allowed such a horror in his house!” He grimaced with disgust.

  “Sorry, what’s wrong with pairing brown with grey?” James interjected. “I wear it very often.”

  William gave him a contemptuous look, then turned to me. “Do we really need to continue working with…this?” He nodded at James.

  “Will, bad taste in fashion is not a good reason to stop collaborating with someone…”

  “BAD TASTE?!” James erupted, raising his voice a bit. “What’s wrong with those colours? I don’t understand!”

  “Never mind!” I replied, patting him on the back, as if we were old friends. And, maybe, we already were, in a way. "No time for quarrels," I continued. "We need to find our way out."

  "It won't be easy, child. I'm sure you've noticed this place's aura affects our perceptions. Even mine, and you know how powerful I am. Once here, it took me a while to pinpoint your position, in spite of our strong bond," he stopped for a moment, to gather his thoughts. "This wood's dark power hit me like a black wave, the moment I landed here. I don't know how to find the way out, but I can tell you that it's not physical. There is no door to go through, nor a path we can take."

  "He's always the bearer of good news," I told James, giving him a resigned look. “I’m sure there is a way we…” the rest of the sentence died in my throat. I felt something calling me. Like an irresistible force, drawing me to a place not far, at the end of the path. Maybe it was the fairy, maybe it was the clue I was waiting for…

  “Miss Wise, where are you going?” James said, seeing that I was back on my feet.

  “Just a sensation…come with me.”

  “Child, what on Earth?”

  “There is somethin…I must find it…”

  I walked down the path, with James and William in tow. I knew there was something awaiting me at the end. I knew I had to
find it. We walked and walked, it seemed the path would never end. But I knew it would, and I kept going. We finally reached a clearing, huge and round. It was still surrounded by metallic trees, but it was a court. Something different.

  "This might be an improvement." I muttered, looking around.

  "Maximum alert," James warned me, as Will floated protectively in front of me. "This place...it's even nastier than the wood."

  He was right. The dark magic exuding from the cobble stones was almost unbearable. I could sense that the Rain Man's protective masks were starting to wear off. I must be quick and get us out.

  “Have to get us out of here…find Megan,” I thought. “Stop Okasan, or London could be destroyed and everyone will die. I can’t let this happen. Uncle Terry will die, my dog will die…”

  I felt something buzzing on the back of my head: I opened my eyes and there it was, my little fairy firefly, dancing tentatively in front of me. I stared at it, waiting for a hint, but noticed instead a big willow tree at the bottom of the court. Was it there when we had arrived?

  "What's that?" I whispered, pacing towards the tree.

  "Child, wait!"

  "Miss Wise!"

  I kept walking, ignoring William and James. We hadn't seen any willow trees in the wood before. Maybe that was the clue I was looking for. The plant looked very old, with a thick, twisted trunk. Contrary to the metallic tress, its leaves were black and kind of velvety. Its branches were thin and flexible, and looked as if they were bowing in front of me, to greet me...no. They were actually stretching downwards, trying to devoutly kiss a heavy sarcophagus, which stood at the feet of the willow. It was made of black stone so dark, that it was barely visible in the shadows and against the tree's dark trunk. On its lid, lay a giant sculpture of someone asleep and wrapped in a long tunic, so long that it covered half of the coffin beneath. It was impossible to know if the sculpture represented a man or a woman, since its face was covered by hair so long and thick, that it was impossible to see through.

  "What do you think of that?" I whispered, intimidated by the immense body sleeping on that cyclopic tomb.

  "Step away, Miss Wise," James said, in the distant background. I felt his hand gently holding my arm, trying to pull me back.

  "Child, the amount of dark magic coming out of that thing is appalling...come here, please!"

  "But what if that's the way out? Like, a dark portal? It could..."

  "No, it couldn't," James replied from far, far away. I couldn't see the fairy light anymore. And I didn’t care. I pushed aside James' hand and stepped towards the sarcophagus, drawn to it by some mysterious, irresistible force. In that very moment, the willow's leaves all melted into black liquid. The same thick poison produced by the metallic trees. The poison dripped onto the sarcophagus, filling the many narrow channels carved in it that I hadn't noticed before. They made the poison flow right towards the sleeping creature's head. It filled its thick hair, infusing it with new life...

  "Child, come here," William said, behind me. I wanted to move, but I couldn't. I stared at the sculpture, mesmerized, incapable of taking my eyes off it. Unable to even blink.

  "Miss Wise...we must flee, now!"

  The statue's head was moving. To me, it seemed incredibly slow, but in the back of my mind I knew that it was all happening very fast. That thing raised her head, her hair parted, revealing a monstrous face, thousands of years old, maybe even older than the Cursed Wood itself. It looked more like a skull than a face, with no nose, a deformed mouth filled with rows and rows of sharp fangs and two enormous eye sockets filled with the same dark poison dripping from the willow tree.

  The creature focused her eyes on me and shrieked, while two gigantic, butterfly wings opened behind her back, beautiful and deadly.

  “A tengu queen! RUN!” James shouted, then I felt lifted from the ground and into his arms. The Queen pulled one of the hairs from her skull and used it like a long, thick whip that hissed and cut the air, right before it lashed the very spot where James and I had been standing a second before.

  “Told you it wasn’t a portal!” James panted, running with me in his arms, while William threw every spell he knew at the monster. But they all bounced back.

  We ran down the path that led out of the court and back into the middle of the Cursed Wood.

  The path there was much wider, so we ran in the middle of it to avoid being scratched by the trees’ venomous branches.

  “What happened?” I stuttered, still kind of groggy. And still in James’ arms.

  “I think the Queen lured you into that place. She was targeting you, for some reason…”

  Probably because I was the only one able of getting us out of the Wood. I wished I knew why, and how to summon the fairy light. I was still clueless… “LOVE!” was the answer that suddenly flashed into my head. It felt like an external thought, planted in there by someone else. But it was right. Love was the answer. It was when I had concentrated on my family and friends that the fairy light had appeared.

  I was thinking of Martino when that robot grabbed me in the tunnel. And when I was trapped in the Mirror of Illusions, and felt that something was missing. I smelled that cigar that had reminded me of Terry and made me worry for him, like I was now...and there it was again! The fairy light, dancing in front of my very eyes. The light floated in front of my face for a few seconds, then shot forward.

  "PUT ME DOWN! I KNOW THE WAY!" I shouted, kicking the air to make James release me.

  "What? How?"

  "PUT ME DOWN!"

  He dropped me like a potato sack. The Tengu Queen wasn't further than twenty yards away, maybe even less.

  "DIAFZEIRO!" James shouted, throwing a powerful explosive spell at her. The explosion lifted a thick cloud of dust and debris, a screen between her and us.

  "RUN! We have thirty seconds at best" James gasped, as we both rushed away, closely followed by William.

  "I know the way," I panted, my mouth a dry desert.

  "How?"

  "No time to explain. I've already got you out once, do you trust me?"

  "Are you sure?"

  "DO YOU TRUST ME?"

  The cloud of debris had cleared. The giant monster was getting closer, cutting the air with her whip and riding a tsunami of black poison. She was part of the Cursed Wood: No wonder she could control its poison. She was incredibly fast, getting closer and closer, the dark wave reaching higher and higher.

  My lungs were burning in my chest, pain was shooting from my legs, to the rest of my body. I felt like I was about to vomit my heart. But I could still see the fiary light. It was right in front of me, a couple of yards away.

  "DO YOU TRUST ME?" I asked again.

  "I...yes, I do!" James finally replied.

  "THEN FOLLOW ME!" I yelled, somehow finding the strength to accelerate, leading the way towards our exit. Which had better not be far, because the tengu mama was getting closer, and so was her poison. I didn't dare turn and look, afraid to be hypnotized again, but I could hear James and William throwing every spell they knew at her.

  I had almost lost hope, when the wood cleared again and, just when my heart was about to explode in my chest, I saw it: The exit was a few yards away; the fairy light dived into it like a king fisher into a lake. Only, ir wasn't a lake. It was a deep, black and probably bottomless abyss.

  "THERE IT IS! OUR EXIT! Be ready to jump!"

  "WHAT? ARE YOU CRAZY?" James panted back.

  "I'm not! You'd rather stay and have biscuits with her?" I nodded at the Tengu Queen behind us. The poisonous tsunami was almost on us, its terrible stench filled my nostrils and made me nauseous.

  "On my three!" I yelled, grabbing James's hand. "Will, ready?"

  "Yes, child!"

  "One...two..." I could feel wetness beneath my shoes, the abyss was two yards away...one yard...

  "THREE!"

  We jumped, the Tengu Queen shrieking in frustration right behind us. I shouted and shouted as we fell, my cries covering her
shrieks, until darkness swallowed us all and there was only cold and silence.

  17

  Back In The Sewers

  “Got you!” James’ said, as I landed right into his arms.

  “Child, Goodness Gracious! Are you all right?”

  “I…I can’t see…” I gasped, my throat tight with anguish.

  “It’s normal, Miss Wise,” James quickly reassured me. “It’s the portal.”

  A rancid stench hit my nostrils: we were back in London, better, we were back under London. We were in the sewers, the smell was unmistakable.

  “Ooh, let me down,” I suddenly felt sick and didn’t want to vomit on James.

  “Yes, let me help you,” he said. He placed me on the ground, then helped me stand, holding me by the arm. “Let it out. Don’t be shy. I landed a couple of minutes before you and felt the very same,” I felt his hand gently pulling back my hair, and just in time before I bent and vomited my head off. Gosh, that was embarrassing! Especially since it kept coming, and tasted bitter and disgusting in my mouth. It tasted like several rats had died in a muddy pond and I had swallowed the mud. And now, I was puking it out. My throat and chest burnt like hell, my stomach and chest were in even worse shape.

  Then, suddenly, my guts stopped contracting, my head and vision cleared and my sickness was magically gone.

  “Well, as they say, better out than in!” James commented, slowly massaging my back. I wasn’t really sure he should be doing that, but it felt so very good that I didn’t stop him.

  “Our armours are still in place, but the protective masks are gone,” he continued. “Which is a good thing, since otherwise, we’d have vomited inside them and, well, ick…”