Heroines and Hellions: a Limited Edition Urban Fantasy Collection

by Margo Bond Collins

  “But, we don’t have any protection from poison now,” I added.

  “We are very likely not to need it, at least not until the spell starts working. A poisonous environment would kill the living ingredients and could contaminate the other ones, so Okasan has likely ensured a clean space. We have a lot to worry about, once we’re into Okasan’s lair, but not poison. For a start, I don’t think tengus are her only line of defence and…”

  “And people wonder why I don’t have a boyfriend!” I erupted, totally exasperated as we stood-up in the semi-darkness of the London sewers. “I mean, can you imagine it? Things like: ‘honey, how was your day?’ And I: ‘the usual, slayed a bunch of tengus, rode a phoenix, got nearly killed while I went through three dark portals, then I vomited my head off in the sewers of London, then’ …”

  “Child, I don’t think this is the time and place…”

  “Oh, it’s never the time and place, is it, Will? I suppose I just have to suck it up and carry on, facing death in smelly places as if it was a walk in the park!”

  “She’s right, Your Grace,” James kindly interjected, surprising me. “After all, she just got us out of a desperate situation, using only intuition and bravery, and all after having gone through so much and in such a short amount of time! She deserves to complain and whine for a moment!”

  “Thank you for your solidarity, Mr Turner!” I said enthusiastically. “But I wasn’t complaining, more acknowledging my situation. As for saving you with my ‘bravery and intuition,’ well, that’s not exactly what happened.”

  I looked at both Will and James, hesitantly. I believed it was time to tell them about my connection with the fairy, since we were about to face Okasan, and maybe Megan could still help us. But, they needed to know about her so that they could trust me. Still, I wasn’t sure how they’d take it. My fears were that James wouldn’t believe me, and that Will would freak out. Or maybe they’d both freak out, or James wouldn’t trust me or, even worse, would start fearing me.

  After all, I was still a supernatural freak, wasn’t I? And, with the exception of Susan, any other witch or wizard that I’d met so far had treated me with contempt and suspicion. James seemed to be different, but maybe even he had his limits, and discovering that I had a blood bond with a fairy would be a deal-breaker for him.

  But I had to take the risk, they deserved to have every bit of available information so that we could think of a sound plan before facing the most powerful meta-human of the Eastern world. I needed them. So, I decided to take a leap of faith and tell them. For reasons I ignored, the idea of being rejected by James felt beyond terrifying. Much more terrifying than fighting hundreds of tengus at once, or being trapped in a cursed wood while being chased by a tengu queen. Even the prospect of facing Okasan herself seemed somehow more comfortable than telling James about my inexplicable fairy connection, and then possibly seeing that he couldn’t cope with the news. That he wasn’t comfortable around me anymore…nevertheless, I had to tell him. It was a matter of life and death. Literally. I gathered all my courage, cleared my throat and said: “It wasn’t my intuition that helped me defeat the voodoo robots, and that showed me the way out of the Cursed Wood. It was…something else…”

  “I don’t understand,” James replied, frowning. “Then, how did you?”

  “I was guided all along. By a fairy,” I replied, without even catching my breath.

  “Child, how on Earth?…”

  “Is that possible, Will? I swear, I’m not even certain. It kind of all started once I got out of Lord Basilton’s mansion, which was so close to where Megan was imprisoned. I’m positive I dreamt of her, no, I mean, I dreamt her thoughts and felt her emotions that night.”

  “Her emotions?” James repeated, looking perplexed.

  “She was homesick and was thinking of the rain forest, she was flying over it…wingless fairies can fly over short distances, you know…”

  They both stared at me as if I was an alien or something.

  “I think she was trying to reach out to me. Then, when I touched her blood on that message she left…a connection was created, somehow. And a strong one. I think touching her blood, triggered something inside me. Sort of. And, I had another vision of her while I was unconscious, at the Rain Man’s. She managed to get some of her magic through, a bit of her conscience. She guided me with that. Now, our connection is feeble, probably because she’s trapped in iron and within a dark barrier, so she’s only been able to give me hints and clues, if that makes sense,” I swallowed, looking at them both. “Do you believe me? Are you okay with it?”

  For a moment, they both stayed silent, staring at me, transfixed.

  “Come on, please say something! I’m very sorry I’m telling you only now, but, I wasn’t sure at first. I thought I was hallucinating or something. Then there was really no time to explain and I didn’t know how and…” I hesitated, then turned to James. “I was afraid you’d be uncomfortable around me, if you knew.”

  Will was the first to speak: “Child, I’ve known you for a long, long time and, I’d think that by now you wouldn’t be able to surprise me. But, of course, I’d be wrong.”

  “‘Surprised’ maybe isn’t the correct word, Your Grace. ‘Impressed’, perhaps, is a much better description,” James interjected, giving me a long, mysterious look. “Miss Wise, I’m sorry if I gave you the wrong impression. If you think that saving my neck would make me uncomfortable, or make me think less of you, well, you should, give me more credit, you know…”

  “It’s not that, it’s just…”

  “Okay, here it is: so far you’ve shown outstanding courage. And displayed impressive abilities, even more impressive than what I’d been lead to believe by my sister. I am very grateful for your help, and please, do not think for a second that I could EVER feel uncomfortable around you.”

  “But…”

  “Just for the record, I am much more open-minded than you may think. Am I clear?”

  “I…yes,” I finally managed to reply as a big, relieved smile blossomed on my face. “Thank you. And sorry,” I added. “I’m really, really sorry, didn’t mean…”

  “You’re welcome. No need to apologize,” he cut me off, with a grin. “Now, we’d better move,” he continued. “After the Cursed Wood, we emerged on the other side of the sewers, so to speak, which shouldn’t be as guarded as the one we travelled through the first time. But you never know.”

  “Which way, Mr Turner?” William asked. “If you point it out, I will go on patrol in advance and see if there are any threats.”

  “An excellent idea, Your Grace. Next thing, we’ll need to find an entrance and…”

  “I know! No fuss! I help!” called out a squeaky, child-like voice coming from…inside James’ satchel. He immediately dropped it onto the floor, startled as the rest of us. Something was moving inside it, climbing up, slowly but steadily. I grabbed my katana, ready for anything. William floated protectively in front of me and James was by my side, reluctant to use his magic, but ready to strike if he needed to. Turned out he didn’t.

  Because there was bluemini in the satchel. With difficulty, he emerged to the surface, panting but clearly satisfied.

  18

  The Bluemini

  “What on Earth is this creature doing into my satchel?” a surprised and indignant James mused. “More importantly, what is it doing with my favourite cufflink? The one I thought I had irremediably lost? I searched for it for weeks!” He reached to take back his possession, but the Bluemini bit him!

  “Ouch! Bastard!”

  “AWAY! MINE OR NOT HELP!” The little blue creature protested.

  “Help?” I said gently. “You can help us? What are you doing here?” I invited him to jump onto my hand.

  “MINE!” The Bluemini repeated, fiercely holding onto the jewel.

  “Yes, yes, yours,” I quickly reassured him.

  “WHAT? That’s a gift my mother gave me the year before she died!” James was furious.


  “This little gentleman must have sneaked into Mr Turner’s bag while we were at the Rain Man’s,” William said. “What I don’t understand is, why? Also, I wonder how it is that he is able to speak English, although not particularly well, mind you, when we were told by his masters that Bluemini are dumb.”

  “Masters has secrets from us; we have secrets from Master,” the little creature proudly replied.

  “Clever!” I said. “Wait, you look familiar…you’re the Bluemini who brought the Rain Man the box with our armours in it, right? You made it look like a coincidence.”

  “He gave me a naughty look and nodded.

  “So, you can all actually speak, but your master doesn’t know? Your Master helped us, although we paid for his help, so…I suppose you’re not one of his spies?”

  “NO, NO!” He vigorously denied it, indignant. “I sneaked in, no one can detect me, we Bluemini low profile,” he explained. “I like shiny things. I know place already, I was there often with my friends, to scavenge for Master. Then Bad Lady came and we couldn’t come anymore. But, place full of treasures, I want some for me.”

  “You’ve been at number 50 already?” I said, trying not to sound too excited. My friends were listening attentively. “You know the place?”

  “Yes! Me and other Bluemini go on mission for Master.”

  “Wait, your Master didn’t tell us anything about that!” James cut him off. “That treacherous bastard! I should have guessed that he knew more than he was willing to share! I…”

  I gave him a meaningful look and he stopped.

  “We steal for Master, but we don’t always give everything to Master, understand?”

  “I do. Rain Man’s not as clever as he thinks,” I winked at him. “So, you kept for yourself some of the cool things you found in the haunted house. Tell me, did you ever have any problems with all those ghosts and other presences?”

  He shook his little head: “No. Bad ghosts can do nothing against us. They cannot see us. We no aura. We very little. We sneak in and grab shiny things. No creature notice. Rain Man made us from tears, so we flow away, unnoticed, like silent tears. We sneak in and sneak out, no one sees,” I knew he must be telling the truth, since he had been hiding in James’ satchel without any of us feeling his presence. The creature was getting more and more interesting. “Then Bad Lady came and too dangerous to enter,” he continued, suddenly sad. “Bad robots, bad portals to ugly places. Bad demons with good nose can smell us. We desperate.”

  “So, let me get this straight: you sneaked into James’ bag, hoping we’d eventually find a way to enter the place, so that you could scavenge it, probably after the battle with Okasan had ended? “

  He nodded vigorously, a tiny smile appearing on his lipless mouth. “But now you lost, you don’t know where other entry is, so I help.”

  “Other entry? A safe one?”

  “Yes, safe! But you must go through robots and portals first, I can’t. Now, here I help if you let me keep shiny things!”

  I exchanged glances with my friends: I could see we were all on the same page.

  “Well, I think we can come to an agreement here: all you need to do, is guide us safely to the manor, and then, I promise, you’ll get all the shiny things that you want after! You can start by keeping that little jewel as a token of my good faith, what do you say?”

  “I say we do business!” He replied enthusiastically. Then he put the cufflinks away into a frontal pocket that magically appeared on his belly. “Let’s go! This way!”

  James, Will and I exchanged glances.

  “Off we go!” I said out loud. And off we went.

  19

  The Attic

  “Child, I am not sure that trusting this greedy creature is a good idea,” William told me telepathically as we walked down the tunnel. “Besides, what if things have changed and the route he’s suggesting is no longer safe?”

  “Will, you should take optimism courses one day!” I replied. “I really have a good feeling about this guy. Don’t forget that this was one of the Rain Man’s servants, creatures he created deliberately to sneak inside any sort of magical location and steal whatever they could steal or scavenge on his behalf. These things do not have an aura, if you’ve noticed, just like Okasan’s voodoo robots. They cannot be detected by supernatural beings, they’re clearly smart. That bluemini managed to hide inside James’ satchel all this time, without any of us discovering him. I think we have a chance with him. He knows his stuff and we’re gonna reward him. Besides, we have no other option, have we?”

  “You are right, my dear. I will, nevertheless, keep my eyes and ears open.”

  “So will I, be sure of it.”

  “Here it is!” The Bluemini erupted, bouncing on my hand, all enthusiastic. “Here! There!” he pointed right. We turned into another tunnel that turned out to be a dead end.

  “I do not like this,” James remarked, suspicious. “What are we doing here?” I could see he was concentrating, to perceive any supernatural threats. “This place is…safe,” he said, relaxing a little bit. “But, it’s a dead end. And I can sense that we’re also rather far off from Okasan’s lair, so what…?”

  “Secret passage! Secret passage, wizard!” The little creature squeaked, stretching to reach the wall in front of us.

  “Secret passage?” I repeated.

  “Yes. Away from the house. For tengus no noticed.”

  I was about to ask what he meant, when he finally touched the wall, a sparkle of blue magic went from his tiny hand onto the wall, making appear a filthy, rounded metallic door.

  “What the hell?” James’ jaw dropped.

  “Tengus’ secret passage,” the Bluemini insisted. “They land in dark alley, away from house. They go in sewers and pass through here.”

  “Clever!” James said. “Okasan really is doing her best to keep a low profile. But if this is their passage, there’s the risk that they are in it at the same time we are.”

  “No. No risk,” the Bluemini reassured him. “All tengus are at ceremony. You killed a lot of them at the Market, also. This safe. Ghost can go first, if you want.”

  Still appalled by how much the tiny creature knew, I nodded at Will who immediately disappeared into the round door. He came out a few seconds later.

  “Our new friend is right, my dears. The way’s completely clear. Unfortunately, I have to warn you, you’re about to climb up a very slippery, steep slope. The entrance is meant for tengus who fly in, not for humans and wizards who walk. I did my best to help you by covering it with a thin layer of sticky slime.”

  “Thanks, Will,” I said. I put my hand on the iron knob and pulled, but nothing happened. “Damn it! This thing’s locked! Shall we open it with a spell?” I asked, turning to James. “Or is it too risky?”

  “No problem! I help!” The Bluemini cut me off. Before I could ask “how?” he started changing shape, while still in my palm. Part of him was sort of melting and turning into something else, like blue dough being remodelled by an invisible child. His head got pointy, his body grew little spikes…

  “Goodness Gracious!” Will erupted, as the bluemini in my hand turned itself into an old fashioned, rather large blue key.

  “I open!” the key jumped off my hand right into the keyhole, twisted inside it, and immediately the heavy iron door creaked open, revealing a narrow tunnel going upwards, feebly illuminated by a few gaslights.

  “Well, here we are,” I said, as the Bluemini got back to normal and jumped onto my shoulder. “You really are a resourceful fellow, little one!”

  “I am! Resources have I!” he replied, enthusiastically. “This go up, up, to roof, attic house. Ceremony not far from up.”

  “Okasan needs the light of the full moon, to complete her spell,” James said, looking up. “Makes sense that the ritual takes place upstairs. So, let’s go! And I’m happy to say: ladies first!” James said with a little, sarcastic bow.

  “You want me to go first? How come?
What about all that fuss about my safety and blah blah?”

  “I am simply following logic: in case we’re spotted, tengus are the creatures we’re most likely to face and they will come from the inside, not the outside, being all in to protect Okasan. You’re the one holding the jade katana, so logic suggests you go first. The fact that you’ve survived a number of powerful attacks, and got us out of a tengu nest while a tengu queen was chasing us, has nothing to do with it!” He grinned.

  “All right,” I grinned back. “William, you close the line, as always.”

  “I do understand that, considering the situation, it is the least of our problems,” William said, as we started climbing up the slope. “But may I remind you that this is the most haunted manor in London? There are a number of fellow dead here that I am not looking forward to meeting…”

  “No, no more,” the Bluemini squeaked. “Bad lady destroyed all ghosts. Used their energy for ceremony.”

  “Oh, I said, exchanging worried looks with James and Will: so, Okasan could destroy ghosts and turn them into dark energy. This was not good news, of course, since Will was not only my life-long paranormal companion, but also a very powerful ally. I realised I’d have to keep my eyes open and have his back this time, instead of the other way round. I glanced at James and he nodded, silently confirming his help and support. We kept climbing.

  We were lucky that tengus flew, since the tunnel had therefor been created to contain their spread wings, otherwise we wouldn’t have been able to get through, not even me, in spite of being so short and skinny.

  The more we went up, the more slippery became the passage. Will’s sticky slime helped a lot, still, we kept slipping as we climbed up, especially since there was nothing we could grab onto. After a while, both me and James were covered with slime.

  “Thank God we’re wearing the Rain Man’s armour,” I said, my knees and elbows sinking in slime. “Underneath, I’m wearing my one good jacket and pullover: I’d hate not to have anything nice to be buried in.”