I Need You

by Mercy Amare

  You’re next. It’s the last thing I think before everything goes black.

  6 p.m.

  I just started living.

  I wake up to an all too familiar beeping sound, and when I open my eyes I see a room full of people — Dad, Veronica, Toby, and Gabe. My hospital room is huge, so there is room for everybody, and I’m sure my dad requested this room.

  “You’re awake,” Gabe says. “Finally.”

  My head is pounding as I sit up. “What happened?”

  Toby is the one to answer. “You passed out in your vomit on the floor.”

  “Ugh…” I groan.

  “Don’t sweat it,” Toby says. “It’s happened to us all. For me, it’s happened more than once.”

  “Please tell me that you were the one to find me,” I say to Toby.

  “Actually,” Gabe says, “I was.”

  “That is so embarrassing.”

  “I also saw what was on your phone,” he says. “The cops have your phone right now. They said that this text is different from the others that you’ve gotten before and that they might be able to find something.”

  My heart soars at the thought. They might find the person. “I really hope they find whoever this is.”

  “How are you feeling?” Dad asks.

  “Other than a really bad headache, I feel fine,” I answer. “So, why did I pass out?”

  “Because you were so stressed out that your body didn’t know how to process,” Dad says. “Kihanna, you have got to stop keeping everything to yourself. You can keep stuff from me anymore. I was so worried. I just keep thinking… what if something happens to you? What if someday you don’t wake up? I can think like that. You have to be okay. You have to make it through this.”

  “I wasn’t keeping anything. I just… after what you told me, I was upset. And I got the text, and that’s the last thing I remember. I would’ve told you,” I tell him. “Dad, I’m sorry I kept this from you for so long, but I promise you that I won’t keep anything else from you.”

  “Okay.” Dad seems to accept this. “Let me go get the doctor and tell him you’re awake.”

  Dad walks out of the room and Veronica follows him. She looks worried, and I feel guilty. She and Dad shouldn’t have to worry about me. They have enough with the new baby coming. They don’t need to be stressed out over me too.

  “So, how are you really feeling?” Toby asks me. “With the whole Brian thing?”

  “I don’t know,” I answer him. “To be honest, I’m mostly worried about how his family is doing. They’ve already lost Brian’s dad. And then Keith. I’m really worried about Olivia. She was my best friend, and I can’t even check up on her. But that wasn’t why I was sick. That text… Toby… I’m scared. I don’t want to die.”

  Gabe grabs my hand and squeezes it.

  “Kihanna, I’m not going to let anything happen to you,” Toby says. “Neither will your dad. We will do everything we can to make sure you stay safe. You know that.”

  The door opens up and the doctor walks in. As he checks all my vitals, I think about the last time I was here. I almost died. More than once. I was supposed to die in that fire, but I didn’t.

  I’m a fighter.

  And I will fight until my last breath, because I’m not ready to die. I just started living.

  Tuesday, May 1

  11 a.m.

  It’s almost over.

  The doctor makes me stay overnight for observation, but lets me go early the next morning. He gives me a prescription of anxiety medication, but I tell my dad not to fill them. I hate the way the pills make me feel.

  As soon as we get home, Dad heads to work. I worry about him. He locks me up in the house for protection, but who is going to protect him? I feel like I should be there to protect him, but then I laugh at the thought. How could I protect him when I can’t even protect myself?

  “Back to prison,” Toby says when I walk down to the basement where he and Gabe are playing a game of pool.

  “I’m safe here.” I use my fingers to make quotations around the word safe and roll my eyes. “I don’t think it matters where I am. I’m not safe.”

  “I was thinking,” Gabe says. “Maybe I could see who sent that text to you. I don’t need your phone, technically. I’d need to get into my dad’s office though. My laptop is great, but it’s definitely not good enough for this.”

  I start to say maybe we shouldn’t, because the police are taking care of it… but then I remember. Gabe is kind of a genius when it comes to hacking into people’s cell phone accounts.

  “Let’s do it,” I say.

  “Not you,” Toby says. “Dad’s right. You are safer here.”

  “No way. I am in this. I’m sick of sitting around here, waiting for some axe murder to chop me into little bits. I’m going with you guys,” I tell them firmly, crossing my arms over my chest.

  Gabe sighs. “Fine. But not without protection, and definitely not during the day. I need to go when my dad isn’t there. I’ll get Ty to go with us too.”

  “What kind of protection?” I ask.

  “A gun.”

  “I’ve got a very good aim,” I say. “I’ve been going to the shooting range a lot lately, practicing. At least, I was before I was put on lockdown.”

  “Fine,” Gabe says. “Kihanna gets the gun. And we will go tonight. We will sneak out at eleven tonight. I will set your security cameras to go down for five minutes while we go to the car. You can hide in the back seat while we’re leaving.”

  “Sounds like a good plan to me,” Toby says.

  “I have a good feeling about this,” I tell them. “Deep down I know that this is almost over. Soon we will be in Bora Bora, relaxing on the beach without a worry in the world.”

  “That sounds amazing,” Gabe says.

  Yes, it does.

  I can’t freaking wait.

  3 p.m.

  I can’t look at you without thinking of him.

  Gabe went home to get some stuff for tonight, so Toby and I are acting naturally. I decide to use my time checking my messages on Staying Connected. I have over one hundred messages from people at school, all telling me to stay strong. There is also one from Olivia. I open it without hesitation.

  Olivia: I am writing you this to tell you how truly, deeply sorry I am. I wouldn’t blame you if you hated me. I would hate me too. But you have to believe me, I had NO IDEA that my brother was capable of what he did to you. I never once suspected him, and if I had I would’ve come to you immediately. My family is hurting so bad right now… I don’t know how my mom will ever recover from this.

  I just want you to know that you were the best friend I ever had. I will always cherish our time together. I miss you. But do me a favor and don’t write me back. I don’t want to know if you forgive me or not. Because, as hard as it is losing you, talking to you would be that much worse. I can’t look at you without thinking of… him. I’m sorry.

  I shut my laptop, and take slow, even breaths.

  Olivia doesn’t want to talk to me ever again.

  She never wants to see me again.

  I stand up and start pacing the floor.

  Brian took everything from me.

  No. Not just him. Somebody else was behind this too. Brian wasn’t acting alone. And until this person is caught, I will never have a normal life. I can’t make new friends sitting in my house. Here, I am an easy target. My stalker knows where I am twenty-four seven.

  I have to fight back.

  Eleven really can’t come quick enough.

  There is a knock on my door, and I jump at the noise. As it opens, I see Veronica on the other side.

  “Are you alright?” she asks.

  I nod. “Yeah. Sorry. You just startled me. I’m on edge today.”

  “I just wanted to check on you,” she says. “How are you feeling? Emotionally?”

  “I’m fine,” I lie.

  She looks up at me, and I know she doesn’t believe me.

  “Fine
. I’m not fine, and I won’t be until the police catch whoever is behind all this,” I say. “I just… really thought this was all over when Brian went to jail, and to find out it’s not is a huge disappointment. Plus, I got a Staying Connected message from Olivia. She never wants to see me again, because looking at me is too painful. The sad part is that I can’t even be mad at her. I know exactly what she means. Sometimes I can’t even stand to look at myself in the mirror.”

  “Honey, you didn’t do anything wrong,” she says, taking a seat on my bed.

  I sit down beside her. “I had to do something wrong, or else this person wouldn’t be doing this to me.”

  “I don’t know why this person is targeting you,” Veronica says. “But I promise you that you didn’t do anything to deserve this. It could be about anything. Your father is… extremely successful. He’s bound to have some enemies. Maybe they’re taking it out on you.”

  “It has to be more than just jealousy. Seriously, this person is sick.”

  “You’re right. They are sick. People have killed for a lot less than jealousy. I don’t know why this person is doing it, but they’re not doing it because they’re sane,” she says. “You have to stop blaming yourself.”

  “I know,” I say. “You’re right. Just that message from Olivia really hurt. I mean, I figured she’d never want to hear from me again, but to read it straight from her felt like a slap in the face.”

  “It’s probably for the best anyway,” she says. “I know Olivia was a good friend, but after everything that’s happened, it’s probably best if you just part ways.”

  “We are going to different colleges anyway,” I tell her. “She’s going to UCLA and I’ll be at Berkeley, so it’s not like we’d ever see each other. We would’ve grown apart. It just sucks, because I thought we’d have this last summer together.”

  “You are going to have a lot of fun in Bora Bora.”

  “Definitely. I can’t wait until this is all over and I can get out there. It’ll be nice to just get away from here for a little bit.”

  “I’ll miss you while you’re gone, but I think it’ll be good for you and Toby both,” she says. “There are a lot of bad memories in this house.”

  “There are also a lot of good memories here.”

  “Maybe it’s time to make some new memories somewhere else,” Veronica says, getting off the bed. “I don’t know exactly what the future holds, but I’ve got a good feeling about it.”

  “Me too.” And I mean it.

  This is almost over. I know that it is. It has to be.

  11 p.m.

  Jacqueline’s death.

  Dad and Veronica are in bed. Toby, Gabe, Ty, and I are hanging out in the basement, pretending to watch movies. Instead, Gabe is working on shutting off the security cameras while we make our getaway.

  “Are you almost done?” I ask Gabe anxiously.

  “I’d get done a lot faster if everybody would stop asking me if I was almost done.”

  I roll my eyes but try to remain patient.

  “So do you really think you’ll be able to figure out who sent the text?” Toby asks Gabe.

  “If I didn’t think so, I wouldn’t be going through all this trouble,” Gabe answers.

  Hope soars through my chest. But I try not to be too hopeful in case this doesn’t work.

  “Done,” Gabe says. “We have five minutes, so we need to go now.”

  We all run up the stairs. Gabe and Ty look around to make sure it’s clear and we run through the foyer and to Gabe’s car sitting out front. I climb in the back, followed by Toby. Ty and Gabe sit up front. There is a blanket sitting in the back, so Ty helps Toby and me cover up in the backseat while Gabe drives through the front gates.

  A few minutes later, I hear Gabe say, “All clear.”

  Toby and I sit up.

  “We did it,” I say, smiling. “This is really happening.”

  “We’re going to figure out who this person is,” Toby says.

  “I still think we probably should have left you at home,” Gabe tells me. “Your parents are going to be so pissed that I put you in danger.”

  “I’m not in danger.” At least, I hope I’m not.

  “Your parents have so much security because you obviously are in danger,” Ty says. “I mean, it sucks, but Gabe’s right. It’s probably not safe for you to be here.”

  “Well, I’m sick of being stuck at home all the time,” I say. “How is being confined to the walls of my house living? I’m a senior. I freaking missed my own prom, and if this person isn’t caught soon I’m going to miss my graduation. I’m eighteen now. I should be allowed to make my own decisions. I’m taking control of my life and hoping that, in the end, I’m alive.”

  “The fact that you just said that proves that you need somebody else to make decisions for you,” Gabe says. “Any outcome where you end up dead is not an option. Damn, I should turn this car around and take you home. I can’t believe I let you talk me into bringing you.”

  “It’s not your decision, Gabe,” I say. “If you wouldn’t have brought me I would’ve figured out a way to sneak out on my own. So it’s better that I’m with the three of you. Besides, I have a gun. It’s loaded and ready to go. If somebody tries to come at me, I will shoot them.”

  “Why does Kihanna get the gun?” Ty asks.

  “Because she’s the only one who has actually taken classes on shooting,” Toby answers. “I’m pretty sure nobody wants me shooting a gun. I don’t know the first thing.”

  “I know how to shoot,” Ty says. “After my mom was killed, I wanted to be able to protect myself. I wasn’t old enough to actually take a class, so I stole one of my dad’s guns. He never knew it was missing. I hid it in my room at our cabin in the mountains, and I started practicing in the woods when I was eleven. I’m actually pretty good now. Of course, Dad got rid of most of his guns. He’s supposed to be anti-gun, which is a laugh.”

  “Oh my God, Ty. You were so young,” I say. “You are lucky you didn’t accidentally shoot yourself.”

  He shrugs. “At the time I didn’t really care if I lived or not. My mom was gone, and I couldn’t stand my dad. I figured death would be better than spending the next few years with my dad. Thankfully, he’s been gone for most of it. He’s been home the last few months, and it’s been miserable. I almost forgot how much I hate him. I can’t wait to spend the summer in Tahiti, and then I will never have to stay at his house again.”

  “You can always stay with us,” I tell him. “It’s not like we don’t have the room.”

  “Would I get to sleep with you?” Ty winks at me.

  “No,” I answer, rolling my eyes. “But seriously, why don’t you? You’re eighteen.”

  “Maybe,” he says. “I’m sure my dad would be relieved to have me out of his house.”

  Poor Ty. He’s been through so much in his life. First, with all of his dad’s affairs, his mom being murdered in front of him, and his abusive father. I don’t even know the beginning of what he’s been through, and I can’t even imagine.

  No wonder he has such bad commitment issues. I think anybody in his situation would.

  “I think you should,” Toby says to him.

  “Do you really think your dad would let me?” Ty asks.

  “As long as you kept your hands off Kihanna and your sex jokes to a minimum, I think he’d be okay with it.”

  “I bet my dad would love that,” Ty says. “Me living with Mark Evers.”

  “Does your dad not like Mark?” I ask.

  “Are you kidding? My dad hates Mark Evers. First, because he’s richer than my dad. Second, because he helped fund the campaign of the person running against Dad in the last race. And third, because he had sex with my mom.”

  An awkward silence falls over the car.

  Ty’s dad hates my dad. Not that I blame him. I’d probably hate somebody that my spouse had an affair with too. But still, something about what he’s saying rubs me the wrong way.

&nbs
p; “Part of me wishes I would’ve told the police what happened the night my mom died,” Ty says. “I was so scared. I still am. If I would’ve just told them, my dad would be in prison right now. I would’ve had a normal life. My mom would’ve got the justice she deserves. Instead, I live with the guilt. I feel it eating away at me, but there isn’t anything I can do about it.”

  Ty’s never talked about this before, and it’s weird to hear him open up to us. I’ve heard people say that Ty’s dad killed his mom, but this is the first time he’s ever admitted it to me.

  “I thought telling you guys would make me feel better, but if anything it makes me feel worse. I’m just admitting that I’m a coward. That I’m scared of my piece of shit father. I hate giving him this power over me,” he says.

  “It’s not too late,” I say. “You can still go to the police. You can get justice for your mom.”

  “My dad would find a way out of a sentence. He always seems to buy his way out of every problem he’s ever had,” Ty says. His hands are shaking and I can see so much pain in his eyes. “This problem wouldn’t be any different, Kihanna. Except I wouldn’t be alive, because he would find a way to make my death look like an accident. My mom isn’t the first person he’s killed, and she definitely wasn’t the last.”

  “What do you mean?” I ask him. “Who else has your dad killed?”

  “I don’t know everybody. Just what I’ve overheard,” he answers. “I mean, it’s not him doing the killing. Usually he hires people to do his dirty work. If they get caught, they always leave my dad’s name out of it. They’re more scared of my dad than they are of going to jail.”

  My heart feels heavy at his words.

  Oh my God.

  Poor Ty.

  “There’s actually something I wanted to tell you guys…” Ty’s voice trails off. “The thing with Jacqueline Hoff… I’m not sure it was Kihanna’s stalker who killed her. I think the stalker just used her death to their benefit.”