Ice Burns

by Charity Ayres

  "The woman said, 'You would know me iffin you had thanked me for my hospitality as one aught to.'

  "The lass realized that it had been the old woman's cottage where she had slept and remembered what her grandma and ma had always taught her about thanking for help, even if no one is around because the fairies and guardians of the forest get upset otherwise.

  "She bowed her head, 'I'm sorry. I thank you for your hospitality.'

  "'Tis too late for all that,' the old woman said, lifting the lassies head up so she could look in her eyes. The old lady's eyes glowed gold as she looked and the lass was afraid.

  "'You owe me a boon, child,' the woman said with a sharp nod. 'And if you can do it, I shall free your village and let you go.'

  "Wha did sthee do?" the little girl asked. The woman handed her a cup of milk to drink and the child took it, blowing on the top for a bit as she watched the other woman.

  "What could she do? She agreed, and the woman sent her on a journey; an impossible journey for one so young. But, she went all the same because she had to make right what she had done."

  "Did she come back?" the little one removed the fingers from her mouth to sip at the cup, not taking her wide blue eyes off of the young woman.

  "I don't know. My Ma said that no one ever heard from the girl again, but it was as it should be since she had to make right what she had done wrong," the servant shrugged and reached for the now-empty cup with a smile.

  "Wha viwwage was it?" the little one had put her fingers right back in her mouth after finishing the drink and resumed her lisp.

  "Ma never told me that part, either. Mayhap we can ask her tomorrow, but for now, back to bed with you! You've your own impossible tasks to take care of in the morning, like cleaning up your dolls," the young woman said and scooped up the little girl who laughed.

  Chandra had waited for the sound of the two's laughter to die away before crawling out from behind the larder. She stared at the cup in the wash tub and wondered what it would have been like to have someone tell her stories like that or joke about her "impossible task."

  Now, though, she faced various levels of impossible that she had never thought she would. Chandra looked at the cup of water on the tray that reminded her of her failures. She wanted to fling it at the wall. That cup was a sudden representation of everything she had ever done wrong and she wanted to destroy it.

  The cup leaped off of the tray and flew into the wall where it shattered into shards that sprayed Chandra across the room as much with powdered sand as it did with water. One tear slid down her face, and she knew that what she had done didn't count as "control." A noise outside her window called her attention away from self-pity and remorse. She opened up the window open hard enough to crack one of the panes, which she immediately regretted. Unless she could suddenly conjure enough magic to repair the damage, she would have one more thing with which to face Master.

  Outside, the seedeaters were in a highly agitated state again, but sparrows were also diving around as though they were in defense of their nest. Again Chandra leaned forward to see if she could spot a predator. Instead, she found a place where the forest seemed without color. A branch halfway down the massive hickory, that appeared to be a favorite nesting area for many of the birds, was a complete absence of color. The browns and greens of the tree seemed to fade away into a hazy white smoke that was easily the size of a small Jaguar or tree cat. It didn't move, though, and the sparrows dove toward it but veered away before they reached the spot of emptiness on the branch.

  Chandra couldn't look away or blink because she was so intent on watching for movement or some clue what she was looking at. The birds continued to call to each other in a distressed way, and the thing seemed to waver and then slowly faded away. Chandra continued to stare at the spot as though it would re-manifest and explain itself long after the birds had resettled themselves. Her conscious mind should have noted that as a cue that whatever she had seen was gone, but she stared for a good deal longer until the light outside started to fade in the passing of the day.

  Odd event in the trees aside, Chandra remained at the window with no desire to go back to the task at hand.

  Was it an appearance of something odd or the disappearance of something normal?

  Chandra shifted to look out across the nearby desert. The Master's estate was situated on a hill and had unobstructed views of the desert as well as the forest from the northern side. Chandra imagined an invisible line between trees and desert drawn by a mage many millennia ago that neither sand nor plant could cross. She wondered if the maker of everything had done that in the first creation.

  The sun sunk behind the rolling dunes. The lazy path of light was in no hurry to push down the azure sky until it reached the horizon and seemed to be in a much greater rush to be on its way. The light created red and brilliant golden streaks across the sky as though the sun had expired in a kaleidoscope of color. The luminescent fading light caused the sands to shimmer like a million tiny gems and crystals, blinding in its stark beauty. It was hard to think that something so rife with beauty could be so deadly. It was rumored that the sands were endless, and few who ever attempted to traverse them had managed to find their way out. None had ever found the other side or crossed the desert from what she knew. Master said it was a wasteland and power void.

  "Not only does the desert prevent any plant growth, but it drains magic away in the same way it takes the moisture from a body until they die of dehydration," he had tapped a copy of the massive map in his study as he explained. "Of course, a land without magic is not worth seeing or traveling."

  Master had then returned to a discussion about the abilities in certain elemental capabilities, even talking about a mage who had once tried to use the power of the wind to break a path through the desert only to go mad in the process.

  The sands faded into purple and the night sounds of the outside world began. Chandra was hesitant to light a lamp and return to her reading. For the moment, she was able to enjoy the quiet night sounds and feel the air begin to cool. Between the moist heat of the forests and the stark reflection of heat from the desert, Master's estate on this side of the house was usually more warm than was comfortable.

  On Master's side of the building, there was only the forest. Add to that the wind mage instructors who circulated the air in Master's quarters and it was pretty comfortable. Chandra stood at the window and breathed deeply of the night air. She could smell the green, mossy dampness of the forest and the flowers that bloomed at night, away from the harsh, overly critical light of day. The scent of blossoms wafted through the air like a fog of evening mist to wrap around her with a gentle sweetness that made her want to wander among the foliage as though part of the plant. For a moment, she was simply Chandra; carefree and enjoying the symphony of night creatures and the music of the breeze.

  A quiet call began in the forest, silencing the other night callers in their songs and laments. The young woman closed her eyes and listened to the stark sound. The short bursts of sound identified the creature making the noise was a hawk. It sounded as though someone was noisily coughing. As Chandra listened, the call changed to something longer and almost inquiring. The creature sang out in an echoing, desolate cry that struck a chord within her. The lone song reminded her of her isolation within the estate.

  As a child, Chandra had only attempted to speak to others in the estate a few times. Being apprenticed to Master Dreys had never done much to show her as approachable. Most of the students and staff avoided the estate Master unless they were called on by him; his presence seemed to be enough to frighten any would-be friends away. His disapproval of the idea of Chandra interacting with the other students did the rest.

  "They cannot fathom what you are meant for and will always hate and envy you for it," he had told her once when she had attempted to join a game with other children who had called her names and run away. "Your future holds great power, and a great purpose at my side; they are meant to trail behin
d you in ignorance."

  Chandra had heard the emphasis that she was better than the others. Master reminded her over and over, and as the years had gone by, less of the others would come near her unless they were intent on harming her. So instead, she had decided to prevent anyone from hurting her by keeping them all away and focusing on the greatness that Master promised. For a while, the young woman wore a mask of arrogance around others. Master made her feel that the only one she would ever need was him and that she was better than any other student there.

  Now, Master treated her differently because her magic would not manifest. She knew he still held her in a higher regard than any of the students but he was losing patience at an alarming rate, and she was losing time as quickly. She knew she had only a few fortnights until she came of age and would be at the apex of her power, or so Master told her.

  All Mages were at their height of power upon maturity at twenty years of age. Though Master said he did not know for certain the date of her birth, he imagined it to be in the midst of the hot season which meant she was almost out of time. Even if Master was wrong by a bit of time, Chandra should still be able to do a great deal with her magic by now unless her powers were so insignificant that she was at the highest level she could be.

  The song of the hawk continued in the forest outside her window.

  "I know how you feel," she whispered. "I am here in the world alone and without purpose to make me stronger. I would give anything to understand who I am and why I can't seem to be what Master expects of me."

  4

  The call of the hawk was practically in her ear; it echoed in her ears to the point that it was deafening. She wondered if the bird had made a home in the rafters over her room. She shuddered at the thought of what would motivate a bird of prey to find such a location ideal.

  Can they smell solitude to determine potential prey?

  A loud sound above her head on the double casement windows had Chandra scurrying away from the window frame. When she looked back, she saw a gigantic white hawk had landed on the window ledge, pushing the casement open so it could perch in the expansive opening.

  It needed the space as it was easily the biggest hawk she could have ever imagined seeing. Chandra was shocked to think that birds of prey could get so big. Though she had never seen one up close, the bird seemed unusually massive. The size of the creature could be likened to one of the noisy hunting dogs with the long ears that lounged near the fire and snarled at passersby. She morbidly wondered if the hawk was large enough to carry off one of the lazy creatures.

  The bird eyed her through liquid silver eyes; its immense head cocked to the side as if it studied her as she did the same. The hawk was almost pure white. Its body was lined with the palest shade of gray, making it almost look like it was white with white lines. The feathers on the underside of its wings were a shade darker of gray. Even the creature's hooked beak was little more than a dark shade of white. Chandra wondered if it would disappear if it were to land in a snowdrift.

  Chandra's eyes widened at the thought that this may have been what she saw in the tree earlier in the day. It made sense that something so perfectly white and shadowed would seem to make the other colors disappear.

  The great bird had finished studying her and was using its beak to straighten out some feathers on one of its long, white wings. She surmised that if the hawk were to stretch out to its full span, the reach might parallel her own.

  As if on cue, it spread wide and fluttered gently; its wings created a substantial breeze in the room. Chandra realized the hawk might have had a longer reach than she did. It raised its regal head and eyed her with a look that seemed speculative.

  "I wonder what you see," she said and then jumped at the sound of her voice. The hawk did not move, but tucked its wings back in and continued to watch her.

  Chandra imagined herself in the dish-shaped eyes as somewhat angular in view, with a long braid of varying degrees of brown trailing down her back. Her skin was pale from all of the time she spent in the estate and no doubt her green eyes were wide and dilated from the shock of a magnificent creature like a hawk landing in her room. To it, Chandra probably looked as terrified as she felt. She looked up at the creature and met its eyes.

  Is it wise to make eye contact with a bird of prey or will it think I am somehow challenging him?

  It was then Chandra noticed the bird's eyes were less silver and more of a pure white. It was unlike anything she had ever seen, though most of her experience was through books or the odd bit of artwork scattered through the estate. She had seen hawkers hunting with the birds from one of the windows, but they had simply looked like specks and no larger than a small house cat.

  Chandra was at a loss what to do next. She knew she couldn't continue the stare down forever and cringed at the thought of trying to shoo the bird back out the window. The hawk was the most extraordinary creature she had ever seen up close.

  It's also big enough to carry me off if it wanted to.

  The thought made her shudder, and she considered her options. If she went about her business would it get bored and fly away? The chair she had been reading at, where her forgotten meal adorned the table, would place her back to the bird. She felt more than a little uneasy at the thought of turning away when she didn't know what the bird would do.

  She also had a fleeting image of her lifting the chair and motioning at the bird with loud sounds and big movement. It looked silly in Chandra's head, and she grinned at the visual.

  The hawk made a soft keek sound as if to ask, "What?"

  "I'm not sure you would get the joke even if I could explain it," Chandra tapped her head and finished with, "You had to be there."

  The bird seemed to shrug and settle into its "perch" on the window.

  Chandra decided she could call the guard to get rid of the hawk, but shook her head at the idea. She doubted the guard’s methods of removal would be little more than attempted target practice.

  Chandra was hesitant to try to coax the bird. It had settled itself in a very relaxed posture on the window and, despite the little trepidation she had with having a wild creature so near, the bird’s presence was so unique in her unchanging life. She found herself in awe of its stark beauty and the intelligence in its eyes.

  Chandra moved the chair and settled herself to one side of the table. She shifted her meal and books over before lighting the lantern on her wardrobe. Her appetite did not encourage her, so Chandra found herself looking at the plate for a long moment before picking at the meal. She looked up and saw the bird still watching her from its new roost and wondered if it was hungry. That might explain the odd behavior and the fact that it had found its way to her room. Maybe the smell of the food had somehow drawn it over.

  She made a face at the meal and doubted the smell would bring anything but flies. Chandra chewed the idea for a moment before she tossed half of the fish toward the hawk. It landed with a wet plop on the floor not far from the window ledge where the bird resided. The creature cocked its head at her in question. Chandra found herself mirroring the bird's reaction by cocking her head back.

  "It's not poisoned, as far as I know," she murmured, mindful of the guard outside of her room. "Please eat. I’m sure you’re hungry." The hawk seemed to nod in reply before it jumped down to eat. Chandra had expected him to ravage the flesh, but the bird ate daintily. She wondered if maybe it wasn't hungry or if the fish was that bad.

  Thinking about the wet sound the fish made when it hit the floor, she was inclined to agree. Chandra had never cared for the salted fish eaten at the estate. You could always tell when Master was away by the quality of the food. Chandra flopped a bit of the meat back down on the plate and sighed.

  “If you would prefer some bread or cheese instead, you are welcome to them,” she told the hawk as she pushed her plate away and leaned back in her chair. She eyed the book and parchment wondering if she could do something to appease Master when he returned.

  The tabl
e rocked loudly with a sudden movement, and Chandra fell backward in her chair. The hawk landed on the table but ate nothing. He, she decided it must be a he with the beautiful, full plumage, walked across the wooden surface to look over the edge at her.

  Keek keek.

  "I'm all right," she told him and rubbed at where her backside had hit the floor. She stood slowly, and the bird backed up a bit on the table. She eyed the creature and shook her head at the momentary notion that the bird could understand what she said and picked up the hated book. She eyed it in the same way she would have a slug on her shoe and shifted it from hand to hand while watching the hawk as he now ignored her to neaten his feathers.

  He was a gorgeous bird. The light from the lantern caused his white and silver feathers to glow. Several shades of white reflected the light and Chandra realized that there was no such thing as simple white but varying shades of white mixed with different grays, silver, and even blue. She imagined that if she were able to hold a massive snowflake in her hands that the bird would be the same frost white colors.

  "I don't know how long you plan to stay or if you're only visiting, but I'm going to name you Frostwhite, if that's okay with you," she spoke in a low tone, not wanting the guard or Andre to come in the room and see the hawk. Of course, she reasoned, if they hadn't come in when she fell over in her chair or when Frostwhite landed on the table, it wasn't likely they were going to bother even if they heard her screaming about someone killing her.

  Frostwhite didn't acknowledge her words but instead continued to rake at his feathers with his beak and then smooth them over. Chandra was reminded of how the cats in the yard would occasionally groom their fur and realized that the motion was very similar.

  Chandra opened the book in her hands and stared at the random lines and marks on the pages without any comprehension. Some time and several eons later in history, Chandra put down the book and eyed Frostwhite, who had settled himself into her napkin as if it were a next of the softest material imaginable. She could not help but smile at the strange creature’s odd behavior. He looked like a giant chicken in a nest, though she was certain his beak would do more than give her a nick if he snapped at her.