Ice Burns

by Charity Ayres

  “Dryads,” Matta spoke softly. “I am the only one of my kind as far as I know. When the forest changed me, it told me I was to be its one avatar, protector and child.”

  Chandra remembered the word, but there had not been a lot about them and Master Dreys called the books nothing more that superstitious rubbish created by the uneducated to help them understand that which they could not explain.

  “The world has a way of shifting things to make them work in harmony,” Matta told Chandra. “I was once a young woman who was too important for her position in life and who fled her home when others sought to teach me a lesson for my impertinence.

  “Before I was lost to the forest and winter, I lost my sight. I fell into a world that I cannot describe to you, battered and near death. Being blind and lost, I fell captive to some unsavory mages in hiding. They found some untapped magic inside me and sought to take it or change it, I'm not sure which. They tried to pull it from my very veins. Something went wrong and I got free.

  “I had no idea where I was going but felt compelled to follow an odd sound that seemed familiar. I ended up in a tiny grove, and my sightless eyes showed me a bright, green light. I didn’t understand how I could see it, but I knew instinctively that whatever it was, I should not cross it. Fear, ego, I don’t know what drove me, but I stepped forward despite the screamed warnings in my head. I paid the price for my idiocy. Roots rose from the ground to hold my feet. I dropped to my knees and begged for my life.

  “A voice like nothing I had ever heard before, I'm not even sure you could call it a voice or the sound it made, words, responded. It was a mix of the thundering rush of a great river and the creaking of old trees in a gale. It asked me to repent. The words formed in my head and the noise tried to mimic the sounds as I saw them imprint on my mind.

  “‘Throw off your dark skins and ask for nature to forgive you. Ask that you be free of the torment that awaits you, and you may be accepted into a new life of servitude and solitude with us. Choose well, life or freedom because you cannot have both.’

  “I wasn’t sure I liked the sound of that but knew death was the only thing that waited for me if I were to return or be found, so I agreed. I begged for forgiveness and said I would do whatever was asked of me so long as I didn't have to go back.

  “Thorny vines rose from the ground and wrapped around my arms and legs, making my blood flow into the soil at my feet. I’m sure I cried, screamed, and begged for the torment to end, but it didn't stop. My pathetic pleas meant nothing to this force.

  “‘Forgiveness is painful.’ That was the only response it gave me and I can still see the lightning words as they appeared in my brain.”

  Matta stroked the wide leaf of one of Edvard's plants and it regained the green color of health. Her spine was stiff and she didn't turn but said softly, "I don’t know how long it lasted.”

  Chandra stepped forward and reached out place a hand on the old woman's arm. She didn’t think there was anything she could say but knew Matta appreciated the gesture.

  “I woke up and was able to see though not in the way I had before. I saw everything in a cascade of colors. I could see the magic of life flowing through the trees, fading from leaves on the ground and rising up into the trees that have so many times since offered me their limbs to connect myself. I could even hear the thoughts of the creatures of the forest.

  “They reassured me, you know,” Matta said, looking in Chandra’s eyes. “They told me they would assist me if ever I needed it, and I swore never to touch meat again. How could I ever eat something that spoke to me or gave so freely in helping me?”

  Chandra nodded at her. She believed she would feel much the same way.

  “I don’t know that this body would accept anything of flesh, anyways.” Matta laughed. “No blood but sap. No skin but parchment and bark. No hair but silken strands of corn silk.”

  Matta shook her head and the lines on her face drew up into rolls of laughter. “I don’t know when I became more plant than person, but there you go.”

  “But your hands are warm to the touch,” Chandra said, her brow furrowed. It was hard for her to accept all of what Matta was telling her.

  “So are the trees if you take the time to keep contact, and the rocks and the ground...” Matta said softly. “I understand your hesitancy to believe something so extraordinary, Chandra. Had it not happened to me, I am not sure I would believe it myself.”

  “I have no reason not to believe you,” Chandra said.

  “No reason and not believing are not necessarily sycophantic,” Matta said with a half-smile. Chandra smiled and nodded herself, understanding the silent agreement to accept with or without belief. She sat with Matta for a moment without speaking. Chandra knew Matta was seeing the events that made her what she was over and over in her mind, and she felt the best she could do was wait.

  “Let us see what else we can find and then see about finding the door so your feathered companion can get out in the sky where he longs to be!” Though Matta’s eyes looked a bit shadowed and drawn, she smiled at Chandra.

  “I think I need to find him a way out now. His unease is making it hard for me to think straight,” Chandra said, wanting to be outside the cave herself. She was not uncomfortable being there, but a sense of gloom lingered despite the well-lit exterior.

  “Edvard?” Chandra said. Though she had spoken quietly, Edvard’s eyes shot up as if she had yelled in his ear. He gaped at her without speaking. Chandra stared back for a moment but decided to speak when he didn’t utter a sound.

  “I need to find the passage outside,” she told him, trying not to be annoyed at his gaping. “My friend needs to hunt, and the air in here is stifling.”

  Edvard still did not speak but stared at both women. Chandra narrowed her eyes at the rude man. She knew he was a little off but didn’t feel this was any excuse to stare as he was. The urge to slap him became so strong that her hand moved away from her side of its own accord. She was shocked at her reaction and pushed the hand back to rest impatiently at her side. She had never slapped anyone in her life and here she was about to slap a man she hardly knew?

  Chandra leaned down to peer into Edvard’s foggy blue eyes and felt the heat in her glare.

  “Outside,I need to go outside. Now.”

  Chandra felt her voice drag across her throat as it created sound that rumbled unlike her normal voice as though she were growling through another person’s mouth. It was beast-like and enjoyed watching the old man’s eyes go wide so that there was more white than dull color in them.

  Edvard jumped to his feet and rushed to a bookcase where he waved his hand franticly as if signaling for help.

  The bookcase disappeared and the forest outside appeared.

  24

  Chandra stepped forward to exit, and Edvard shuffled back until he was pressed as far into a wall away from her as possible. Chandra frowned but hurried through the doorway.

  As soon as she had cleared the entry, Frostwhite flung himself off her shoulder and into the foggy sky. The world was not the bright blue and green Chandra had thought of when she pictured outside, but she supposed any amount of time locked indoors would make the remembered outside world seem ideal.

  She filled her lungs with fresh air. It smelled of leaf rot and late-season flowers; nutty but sweet. She closed her eyes and let herself be lost in the dense and complex world of the forest around her, wondering what Matta heard in moments like this. As if summoned, she heard Matta come out of the cave behind her.

  “Not so bright today but beautiful just the same,” Matta said softly. “What exactly did you say to Edvard, by the way? Did you threaten to set his books on fire? I’m not complaining, really, I wanted out as well, but you scared the spit out of him.”

  “I told him I needed outside,” Chandra said. It wasn’t a lie, but it wasn’t what she should have admitted to. Her mind reasoned that she didn’t really understand what had happened and therefore couldn’t completely explain it.<
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  “Hmm,” Matta said but asked nothing else. They stood in silence and enjoyed the fresh air and smells invading their senses.

  “You didn’t seem in a rush to be outside,” Chandra surmised. “Weren’t you going a little crazy, being what you are?”

  “Being what I am does not mean I have to be outdoors at all times,” Matta explained. “I could live in a cave myself though I don’t care for being enclosed as a personal preference. The only thing I absolutely require is that I remain somehow connected to nature. The rock that makes up that cave is a part of nature as much as soil, trees, plants, water...”

  The old dryad lifted the branch that had broken off from the tree and she had been using as a sort of walking staff. She shook it in the air and smiled at Chandra.

  “My clearing is important to me, cottage or no. The tree gave me a way to stay connected when I asked for it.”

  “May I ask what happens if you lose contact with nature?” Chandra said, trying to sound a bit more respectful. She hadn't missed the woman's emphasis reminding Chandra that she wasn't a thing.

  “You may, but I won’t answer you.”

  Chandra looked and saw Matta was smiling. She knew it was not because Matta didn’t trust her but more that she simply didn't want to talk about it.

  “I will say that it is supposed to be different for each dryad, though,” Matta told her. “What happens to me or affects me may not be the same as one who was born a dryad or specific types of dryads. I would suggest you research the matter if you want to know more.”

  Chandra thought about this for a few minutes.

  "You may want to ask Edvard to see some of his books," Matta's lips quirked up, "He has an extensive collection.”

  “Thank you,” Chandra said, and Matta walked away into the trees. Chandra’s stomach rumbled a bit, but she ignored it. She sat down on the grass and closed her eyes. If her mind was like that of a dryad, how would the world change?

  She pictured the clearing in which she sat, envisioning each tree, rock and blade of grass. In her mind, she noticed everything was such a vibrant color, like each object around her had a light shining directly on it. She could see minute details, the ridges on a blade of glass or the tiny hole made by some little creature in a boulder.

  In her mind, she focused intently on each individual plant, boulder and tree around her, as though she were leaning in as close as possible to examine them. Along with the details and colors of everything around her, her mind buzzed warmly. She felt as though each thing had a voice and sound like tiny buzzing bees. The more she focused, the more she felt there were different pitches and hums to each sound. Unlike her moments in the peristyle garden, nature did not seem malevolent toward her. Instead, it was as if they were tiny voices that whooshed and whispered with the breeze to become a resonate chorus with a heady tempo punctuated in shifts and cracks within the forest. Her body swayed where she sat. Side to side she flowed with the tempo that was suddenly broken with a familiar call.

  Without intent, Chandra shifted her awareness high above. She saw Frostwhite looking down on where she sat. Her body was surrounded by a sort of colored breeze. Tendrils, like mist swirled around her in blues and greens. It was as if colored smoke snaked out of the forest to wrap around her or flow over her like a river. Frostwhite seemed to approve and released the connection so that she could no longer see herself.

  Chandra reached back to him, wanting to feel what he did when he soared through the sky. He welcomed her in and she lost track of the feel of the ground and forest around her.

  Instead she felt the rush of air streaking past. If she was her human self instead of flying within the great hawk, the rush of air would have suffocated her with its force, but in this form it flowed past her. Instead of being blunt with soft skin that caused the air to drag over her, she was more like an arrow with a fine tip. It was not cold but a caress as it found its way sliding along sleek feathers. It was a soft touch that held wings through a glide or contributed force with each strong beat.

  A scent reached her, familiar while foreign; it was warmth and sweetness with an acrid tang, and she felt a rush within her avian chest. Wings immediately tucked, and the previous speed was suddenly not noteworthy. Fast as a beam of light, the muscled form dove toward the ground to a blazing speck that fled.

  Chandra withdrew to herself and heard an almost-human chuckle in her head from Frostwhite. Meat may have always been part of her diet, but she was no hunter and was not sure she would ever be able to stomach the kill.

  “What were you doing, just now?” A voice rasped from behind her, and she turned to see Edvard standing at the entrance to the cave. Before she could answer, he had moved forward and grabbed her arm. The moment his finger touched her flesh, he flew backward as if thrown.

  “No,” he rasped, shaking his head back and forth.

  Chandra opened her mouth to tell him she wouldn’t hurt him and hadn’t meant to throw him, she hadn't even tried or felt magic. Edvard was already on his feet and running into the forest screaming for Matta. Chandra rose and chased after him.

  “Old witch! How did you find her?” Edvard had found Matta in a tiny clearing, resting with her back on a giant elm. “How? Where was she?”

  “What is it that you're ranting about?” Matta opened one blind eye to glare in his direction.

  “The princess! How did you find her?”

  Matta opened her eyes and furrowed her brow at the old man. She looked him up and down as if unsure if he was himself at the moment. She poked at him and he swatted her hand.

  “I'm not sure what game this is, Edvard,” she arched a white brow at him. He reached down to grab her arm as he had done with Chandra, but a branch from the elm came down and swatted. Chandra giggled as he tried to grab at Matta a few times with the same results.

  Edvard stopped and glared at the tree for a moment before muttering something that sounded like, “Traitor.” Chandra was sure she saw a smile on Matta’s face, but it was gone before she could be sure.

  “Her!” Edvard gestured at Chandra. His movement was so sharp that had it been a sword it would have caught her forcefully in the chest. Chandra rubbed at the center of her breast as if he had poked her.

  “That’s a little far-fetched even for you, Edvard,” Matta leaned back and closed her eyes as if the matter were settled as idiotic and she was going to resume her rest.

  “I felt her magic! It was as if her power was a great blizzard wind and that was after I touched her arm and was shown who she is!” Edvard’s voice had fallen to a whisper. His eyes darted from side to side and he covered his mouth. The strange old man looked both excited and afraid.

  Matta’s eyes opened. She squinted at Chandra as if she were trying to peel away the layers of her skin and see what was inside. She dropped the milky gaze to her lap and stared at her open palms. Various expressions crossed her wizened features as if she was having an animated conversation. She pursed her lips, nodded, and lifted her head.

  “I have to admit, it would explain a few things,” Matta said slowly. It was not a sign of support for Edvard’s accusations but it was not a denial. “The princess didn't go missing until recently and I know that's not where Chandra came from. Her magic is wrong for an heir in many ways.The entire lineage of Winterbournes never strayed beyond their elements but Chandra is not locked to water and ice. Second, her companion would not likely have sought a connection to the royal family and their penchant for killing mages.”

  Edvard began to speak again, but Matta silenced him with a quick lift of her hand.

  “Are you she, Chandra?” Matta asked, her face was soft and non-accusatory but almost sympathetic instead. “Are you the runaway princess?”

  “Of course not,” Chandra said with a frown. “I don’t have parents. They died when I was young, and then I was dropped at the Estate.” Chandra fought to keep Master Dreys’ name off her tongue. She felt that if she said his name, her murder of him would project across her face.r />
  “Hmm,” is all Matta said, though Edvard looked as though a vessel had burst under the skin of his face.

  “She's lying, of course!” Edvard exclaimed. He moved to grab her but was thwarted by an angry Frostwhite. The white hawk dove toward him as he took a step, calling a sharp warning. Edvard cradled his arm though he was untouched and resumed his previous position, his lip out and his eyes glaring.

  Frostwhite landed gracefully on Chandra’s outstretched arm and she turned her verdant gaze on the child in old man skin. She was angry at the accusations as much as she was that he tried to grab her again. She opened her mouth but was saved the effort by Matta.

  “Chandra does not lie. If anything, she speaks a little too freely about what she thinks.”

  Chandra blushed at the various insults and disrespectful behavior she had done, though in a lot of it hadn't realized how obnoxious she was being.

  “Her face belies that compliment,” Edvard noted Chandra's blush.

  Matta rolled her opaque eyes to the sky and stood, using the great elm for leverage.

  “As usual, you're blind as a bat, Edvard,” Matta said her voice rich with mirth.

  Chandra couldn’t fight the smile that softened her anger.

  “Well, you are blind to your charge, old woman,” Edvard said, his voice harsh and heavy with anger. “Could you see her smile and expression; you would doubt your faith.”

  The smile dropped from Chandra’s face as quickly as it had come. She waited for Matta to explain that she could see Chandra, but Matta did not disillusion the old man. Instead, she moved forward and grasped Chandra’s arm.

  “A mind that is closed to trust and hope is blind to the future,” Matta said as she led Chandra away and into the forest, leaving Edvard to sputter in the clearing.

  25

  Chandra and her adopted mentor, Matta walked in silence for a good distance. Both women were lost in their own thoughts about what Edvard had said. Chandra's heart wanted to force the words of gratitude out through her chest, but she couldn't find the words to tell Matta how much it meant to her to be defended. Before she could clear her thoughts, they found a tiny spring of water running clear and fast as though it were in a rush to find its way back to the river. Matta knelt beside it but did not touch the water.