by J. K Harper
He was really here. For so many nights after he left, I’d dreamt of this day. The day he would come back to me. My body had always ached for him after he left, like a craving I couldn’t get rid of—and God how I tried; candy, ice cream, anything to soothe the need I’d felt. Nothing had worked … but then Alexis came along, and for a time the hunger for him lessened a tiny fraction. I had to think it was only because of her and the knowledge that I still had a tiny part of him with me. Yet as I got older, the need returned. It was always there, and it took all my willpower to ignore it. It was like my body knew he was meant to be mine and missed him, oh so fucking much. I shouldn’t have even been aroused then. Why would I want him? I was angry and hurt, and most of all disappointed. I closed the door to my room and leaned against it before diving onto my bed.
Even now I wished I hadn’t had left his side. His warm body had been only inches away from mine in the car. I could have reached out and touched him or kissed him like his mouth begged me to do.
My body was slick with sweat and my core clenched in need. Closing my eyes, I slid my hand down my stomach. I trailed my fingers along the lace of my panties. I bit my lip and slid my fingers under the waistband and through my intimate curls. At my touch, I wished we could go back five years ago, to when everything was perfect. Me in his arms, one last time. Gasping silently in the dark, I slid my finger over my clit. I could feel the thump of my heart pounding beneath my chest as I thought of him, of when we’d made love that first time.
Knowing Lee had been watching me and with the recent sound of his voice still lingering in my brain, my toes curled. I moved my fingers faster, bringing me closer to the edge. My pace sped up as the tightening in my body reached the point of pleasurable pain.
For a split second, I opened my eyes and gasped for breath to see his familiar brown eyes gazing at me, tracking the sweat that glistened all over my body, and I held back my scream of ecstasy. I kept rubbing and then thrust deeper inside to prolong my release. I could always fantasize about him, and I usually did. But now it seemed so real, like he was really here with me.
In my dreamy state, I imagined his breathing picking up and he groaned just as I slipped my finger from my body. I threw back my sweltering covers. When I went to stand, Lee sat on the edge of my bed, took my hand, and brought it to his lips. I watched in awe as he licked the come off of my fingers. His eyes shut, reveling in my sweet nectar. A frown appeared on my brow as his grip tightened, and he licked them again, making sure he missed nothing.
“You taste so good Meg, so perfect.”
He leaned over me and kissed me. The feel of his soft lips on mine felt so real. But it was just my own fantasy, I had to be imagining the way the mattress dipped under his weight, the warmth of his skin. It was only natural to be fantasizing about him, I told myself, I’d just met him again after five years and so many memories had resurfaced along with the pain. I kissed him back, taking all he could give before reality shattered my dream … and prayed for it to never end.
But his tongue traced my lips and I sighed, allowing him entrance. I twisted my tongue with his and brought my hand to his shoulder, pulling him closer. Why did this have to feel so real? I never wanted to let him go.
We were both panting when he pulled back and smiled at me. He slid his fingers into my messy curls, just the way he used to…
Just the way he used to.
This was real.
I yanked back from him—the illusion disappearing into thin air—and slapped his hands away. My face flushed in embarrassment.
“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” I wanted so badly to yell, but I didn’t need Alexis—or my mother— waking up. “How the hell did you get in here? How dare you!”
Focus came back to him but he didn’t lose his smile. “See, you still love me.”
“Right, now get the fuck out.”
“Not until you listen.”
“Not gonna happen, Lee. I want you out of my house. What happened was a mistake.” I blushed again. “I didn’t really think you were in here.”
I wanted to smack the smirk right off his face just like before. He may have been bigger, and more mature, but that smirk was still the same. It annoyed the hell out of me and yet at the same time caused my insides to twist with pleasure.
“So you think about me—while you are—pleasing yourself?”
“Shut up. That isn’t the point. Seriously, how did you get into the house? Is that why you had to leave, are you a burglar now?”
Lee pointed to my now fully opened window. “I don’t know how many times I told you before. You should really close and lock your windows at night.”
I gasped and walked to the window, bringing the fluttering curtains that had found their way outside back in. As I kept my back to him, trying desperately to compose myself, I stared at the gnarled, large oak tree by the side of the house that he used to climb when we first started going out. I should have known. This wasn’t the first time he had climbed through my bedroom window. If he kept acting like the same old Lee, things were about to get really tough. I had to remember everything, not just the things that still managed to make me smile—like that bloody smirk of his, and those eyes.
I turned to face him and wrapped my arms around myself. “I really need you to leave now. I don’t know why you came back, and I don’t care.” Then I decided the best path. “I’m seeing someone now, and we’re getting pretty serious.”
I swore I heard a growl, but shook it off when he stood to his full height and stalked those few steps towards me. His eyes narrowed.
“Meg, I’ve known you forever, and I’m about 99 percent sure you’re lying, but if I’m mistaken, you better believe you’re mine.” He slammed his lips on mine in a harsh kiss. Before I could shove him off or yell at him, Lee brushed me aside and climbed down the oak tree.
Forcing myself away from the window, I dropped back in bed. How the hell hadn’t I realized he was really in my room? It was humiliating. With the sheet up to my chin, I closed my eyes but kept seeing his dark brown ones staring back at me. God, I had to get him out of my system for good.
I wanted to scream. Remembering that Alexis and my mom were down the hall, and not wanting to wake them up, I buried my head into the pillow instead. “Dammit!” I yelled into the soft cushion. I was right back at square one.
All the hard work to try to forget him, to move on and make a happy life—just me and my daughter—and yet all it took was seeing him again … and that kiss. My fingers traced where his lips had been.
I would never be able to let him go if he didn’t do another disappearing act, and I’d never find anyone else to replace him. Lee started as my best friend, but even I had to admit he was the love of my life. Could I be strong enough to send him away? But any thoughts of him leaving again had me clutching my chest in pain.
Why was he back? Why now … why after all these years? I didn’t know if I could trust him, and Alexis didn’t need to be abandoned by her dad for a second time. Though, I reasoned with myself, to be fair, he hadn’t known about the darling baby we’d made. I shook my head, I refused to let myself give him even an inch.
It was best to send him away and never look back.
Lee
Megan glared in my direction, making sure I knew she was pissed I was following her. She looked cute with her hair up in a crazy bun and wearing a pink apron over her clothes. If she thought I was leaving now, she was out of her mind. Her lips parted as if she was going to say something, only to tighten them firmly when she realized she almost spoke to me. Her silence drove me crazy. There were only a few people sitting at the tables, but she did everything she could to make it seem like I wasn’t even there … as if I’d never returned.
My bear started off prancing happily that we were near our mate, but the more she kept her distance the more somber he became. He whined, not understanding why she wasn’t happy with us. Why did she ignore us?
I sat at a table with a cup of
coffee and a book that I barely glanced at. I didn’t intend to get in her way unless she tried to run. And the more I watched her the more I wanted to throw her over my shoulder and take her away. Megan walked towards me and I forced my gaze to move from the sway of her hips. When I met her eyes, I didn’t miss the longing in hers. There was still hope.
She sat in the chair across from me and let out a sigh. “You’re not going to go away are you?”
“Never again. I don’t care how long it takes to earn your forgiveness.”
“Fine. So explain. You said I needed to hear you out, and it better be good. Good like you had to go into witness protection because you saw a murder, or you were kidnapped and probed by aliens … and brutally tortured for abandoning me.” Her eyes lit up with mischief as she uttered that last sentence.
“No such luck. But you’re working and it’s a long story. I’d rather not let the whole town hear.”
Megan glanced at her watch and pursed her lips. She was trying to be tough and it only made me want her more. “I have a lunch break. Let’s go. You have one hour.”
She didn’t sound happy but at least she was coming with me. I stood from the metal chair, stretched, and pretended not to see Megan check me out. I sensed her eyes scan my body and then a subtle hint of arousal that only I could scent. My cock hardened and I grimaced. Nothing but Megan’s body would satisfy me now. I tried, oh had I, but nothing worked.
Her little gasp went straight to my pants, then immediately flickered away. “After you,” I said hoping she couldn’t hear the strain in my voice.
I followed her out of the coffee shop, trying my hardest to behave. There used to be a time when I’d wrap my arms around her waist from behind, her ass nestled where it belonged. After we’d waddle down the street like a sickly sweet inseparable couple.
When she went to her car, I gripped her shoulders and tried to lead her to mine.
“I want to be able to leave when I’m ready,” she countered as she stood stock still in the street.
“Fine, you’ll follow me though?”
“Yes.”
I nodded not happy to be separated from my mate, but this time alone would be helpful for my bulging erection. Plus, I still really had no idea how I was going to explain this to her. How was I going to admit to being something other than human?
In my car, I thought of everything she needed to know. I wanted her to be with me, but I needed her to know everything so she could make a decision. If she told me no I still wasn’t leaving. I would be a father, even if she wouldn’t accept me as a mate. My little girl would eventually be going through all the things I went through. The only difference—she wouldn’t have to deal with it alone.
* * *
Megan parked beside me as I stood against my car with my sunglasses on. This was the perfect place. It was our place.
“Really, here?”
Trees flanked the secluded parking lot, and the overwhelming scent of fresh pine needles enveloped us. God I loved that smell; it brought back so many memories. “I needed to bring you somewhere before all this, and here, this place was ours.” I paused and removed my shades. “Megan, I hope you really listen to what I have to say.”
“I said I would didn’t I?” She was tense, but I had to ignore her discomfort and try to get through this in one piece.
Taking a chance, I grabbed her hand and didn’t let go when she tried to pull away. “C’mon.”
I led the way down the same path we’d traveled so many times before. It was a long trail, but only the locals knew its secrets. Being raised in the close quarters of Rosemount Falls, as teenagers, we just wanted to be alone to find a place that could be really ours—and we found every one we could in town. This one was our favorite.
The woods hadn’t changed much in the last five years. My hand loosened on Meg’s the further we went. This was where I was meant to be. These woods were my home and so was she. If she noticed the change in me, she didn’t say anything. In fact, Megan stayed completely silent. When I looked down at her, she watched me.
“What?”
“I’ve never seen you look so at peace,” she said in a whisper.
“You know I’ve always loved these woods.”
“Yeah, but now it looks as though, I dunno, like you’re home. You belong—”
“I belong what?” She was more observant that I thought.
Meg shook her head. “Nothing, let’s just get this over and done with. We’re almost there.”
I followed behind her as she made her way to the secret split from the trail. It veered off in such a way that if you weren’t paying attention to your surroundings you wouldn’t even notice. Megan pushed the large leaves up and slid behind them. I followed suit, but I made sure we were still hidden.
Megan stopped and hesitated when she came to the open field. It was beautiful. Bright green grass, as well as lanky trees surrounded us on all sides; there was also a small tinkling waterfall in the distance. We probably weren’t the only ones who had found this place throughout the years, but it was special. It was here, the first time we kissed, touched, and talked about our future. It was the place we would lay for hours and talk about all the things we wished for.
She turned and studied me, as if she were thinking the same thing. There were so many memories. The one thing we’d never done was make love on the grass under the stars. That was something I’d always wanted to do, but I never wanted to push her into anything.
“So, was this the plan? To bring me here, of all places, to hurt me all over again?”
I stepped in front of her and lifted her face up to mine. “No, but we need privacy and it was the first place I thought of. I’ve always loved it here, so have you, and it just seemed right.”
Megan closed her eyes. I saw her throat pulsate as she swallowed. Her heart picked up in speed and matched my own.
“Your hour starts now. Well?”
I dropped my hand and nodded when she looked off at the trees avoiding my face. One hour to explain the last five years. When Megan sat across from me and waved her hand in a “let’s get on with it” way, I took a deep breath and opened my mouth. Only nothing came out. The more I tried to speak, the more I panicked. Anything I thought about saying sounded wrong in my head. Ludicrous. Insane. Fuck.
Megan watched me curiously but stayed quiet as I worked through my issues.
My bear started to panic. I slowed my breathing and rolled my shoulders. I couldn’t mess this up. She was right there in front of me, giving me an opportunity. It was more than I could have asked for. More than I probably deserved, but I couldn’t waste it. She wanted the truth so I was going to tell her.
“Lee?” Her eyes softened with concern.
“I’m okay, just give me a minute.”
“You have fifty-seven left.”
“I was adopted. My birth mother died when I was a couple years old.”
Megan
That wasn’t what I was expecting to hear, though it wasn’t a huge revelation. He didn’t really look like either of his parents, and he was so different. Lee was freer and wild. He had dreams and passion. His parents were very uptight and strict.
I waited for him to say more, but he sat immobile, staring at me. “I think even you knew that, but what does that have to do with you leaving me?” I was being harsh, I knew, but I couldn’t let him off the hook, not yet at least.
“The day before your birthday, Mom gave me a sealed envelope. I knew it wasn’t good so I waited to read it. I didn’t want anything to ruin the plans we’d made. So I didn’t read it until I’d gone home.”
“The letter was from your birth parents?” I said, my voice softening as I saw his Adam’s apple bob with emotion.
“My birth mother and I came from a very different place. There is something about me that’s different. I’d noticed it a couple years prior but I didn’t really understand it. The letter explained some of it to me, but in the end my birth mother, Lorelai, told me who to talk to.
She told me a man named Marcus would be able to answer all of my questions and help me. That before I made any serious changes in my life I needed to find out about where I came from—that it was dangerous if I didn’t. That people—you—could get hurt.”
“I don’t think you’ve ever been dangerous, Lee. Protective yes, but you wouldn’t hurt me … well, not like that anyway,” I said while thinking of my shattered heart. “So what did you find out? I’m assuming you left to find this Marcus person?” Surprisingly I was quite calm for someone that was about to get the answer that had been plaguing my thoughts for the past five years. I’d wondered what I had done wrong to make him leave, but if he were telling the truth he didn’t leave because of me.
He reached across and laid a large hand on my knee. A shiver ran down my spine and my nipples hardened. It was amazing how easy it was for him to have this effect upon me. I didn’t move his hand, but I ignored the way my stomach flipped from his touch.
“There is a dark side of me Meg, but I left because my birth mom told me I needed to learn to control my emotions. That I needed to be able to be in control of myself completely before it happened. Before I found the one I was meant to be with. At that point I was still confused, but there were signs to tell me the letter wasn’t a lie. Things that happened that scared me.”
“Like what?”
“Like how much I loved you. I started getting possessive. I couldn’t stand other guys looking at you … and that night we made love, I wanted to claim you. Claim you in a way you wouldn’t have been able to understand. Hell, I didn’t even get it.”
Now my calmness started to slip away, fraying at the edges as panic crept in. I never thought he was that possessive—just the actions of a typical boyfriend. He’d gotten into a couple of fights but never anything serious … and he always treated me like I was delicate, breakable even, sometimes. But nothing that had set off any alarm bells in my head. “What do you mean? Just tell me. You’re starting to scare me.”