Let Me Love You (Love #4)

by Megan Smith

I smile at him, giving a nod at my sister. “Has she always been this feisty?” I ask Hunter.

  I rub my hands together, warming them up before taking the baby from Hunter. “Only when her brother seems to ignore her,” Hunter says with a chuckle.

  Well at least he doesn’t want to kill me for the shit that went down with his sister.

  I’ll admit I miss everyone, it feels good even though I know it’s only a short lived feeling.

  Ryder is getting so big, my niece is adorable, and my sister and Hunter are in bliss with their little family.

  Hunter takes Ryder upstairs and puts him down for a nap, leaving my sister and Olivia in the living room. It’s then that I know exactly what’s coming. The interrogation.

  “So,” MacKenzie says.

  I lay my head back against the couch, playing dumb. “So.”

  “You going to tell me what happened between you and Jay?” Olivia fusses a little before quieting down again. “Last we all knew, things were getting pretty hot on New Year’s and you two went home instead of coming here.” MacKenzie clears her throat. “Sadie was going to spend the night but forgot her bag so Hunter went over to his mom’s to grab it for her. He came back and he was pissed but wouldn’t tell us why.”

  See, why didn’t I think of her hiding at her mom’s?

  Probably because I was talking to a tequila bottle all night.

  She must have pulled her car into the garage so I wouldn’t think she was there. It also explains why Hunter sent me that text message that night.

  Knowing she’s waiting for an answer, I scrub my hands up and down my face. “We got into a fight.”

  “That’s it? That’s all you’re going to tell me?” MacKenzie huffs. “Such a guy’s response.”

  I lean forward and rest my elbows on my knees, “She wanted something I wasn’t ready for, Kenz. I guess she finally got tired of waiting.”

  “No matter how strong a girl is, Cooper, she always has a breaking point.” MacKenzie tells me, having no idea how true her words are.

  After a few quiet moments I say, “And she reached hers. She’s better off without me anyway.” It pains me to say it, but it’s true, in a fucked up kind of way.

  MacKenzie laughs, clearly not believing me. “You really don’t believe that do you? That girl loves you, Cooper, and no matter what your fight was about, she isn’t going to fall out of love with you anytime soon.”

  I feel myself slipping and wanting to just crawl in a hole and be left alone. I want that chemical dependency. I want it because I don’t want the dependency I have right now.

  I know Jay loves me, I love her just as much if not more, but the past doesn’t change; people just learn how to get past it.

  Inhale your future.

  Exhale your past.

  I absentmindedly grab for Jaylinn’s ring that is now on a chain I wear around my neck, and hold on to it with everything I have.

  It’s been almost two months since Cooper and I split. I’ve been avoiding him at all cost. I always make sure he isn’t going to be at Hunter’s or Hailey’s before I stop over for a visit. I stay away from family functions and yes, I get a lot of shit for it but I just can’t handle seeing Cooper. Even though it’s been a little while it still hurts like it was just yesterday that it happened. I miss him, his smile, his eyes, his laugh, I just miss him. There isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t want to run back over to his house and tell him the hell with everything and I’ll take what I can get. I know that by doing that we would never be able to move forward, we’d be stuck on the same cycle.

  I’ve heard from MacKenzie that their club is set to open this weekend. That was probably planned because I know he leaves for spring training on Monday. I know that having it up and running before he left was a goal of his.

  Spring semester started a few weeks ago and I swear I have yet to learn anything because I can’t seem to concentrate. I’m sitting in sociology, listening to the teacher give his lecture and I’m only half paying attention. Layla, my friend from the soccer team, who is quickly becoming my new best friend, is sitting next to me playing on her phone, not listening either. I’ve been having a hard time in this class because it’s mostly lectures and my mind starts to wander.

  Layla nudges me in the side, bringing me back. “Can you give me a ride to a job interview after class? Brian just texted me and said he can’t get out of work.” Brian is Layla’s boyfriend and a total asshole. I have no idea what a girl like Layla is doing with him. He treats her like shit; he’s controlling and always putting her down.

  “Yeah, do you need me to stay until you’re done?”

  “If you can, then I won’t have to take the bus home. ”

  I nod and go back to doodling on the paper in front of me.

  “You should apply too, Jay. It’s Fierce, that new nightclub that’s opening up this weekend.”

  Cooper’s nightclub. Well fuck. Pain hits me right in the chest, I reach up and try to rub the pain away but it’s no use.

  “Nah, I’ve got spring soccer camp that I’ll be helping with so I’ll have enough on my plate.”

  She shrugs and goes back to her phone.

  The last hour of class goes by painfully slowly as I’m not looking forward to taking Layla to her job interview now that I know where it is. I don’t want to run into Cooper, I’ve avoided him this whole time and now I’m heading straight to him. I want to tell Layla that I forgot I have something to do but I don’t want to be a shitty friend.

  “That’s it for class today. Quiz on Thursday for the materials we went over .” The professor says as we all start to gather our things and half of us are groaning. Thankfully I’m not the only one who doesn’t really listen to him.

  “Can I copy your notes?” Layla says while laughing.

  I can’t help but laugh too, “Such a smartass.”

  Someone behind me clears their throat; I look back over my shoulder. It’s Ryan Ripley, star basketball player. He’s been trying to get my attention since I started here at Georgian Court. He’s super tall and towers over my five foot six frame. He has jet black hair, copper colored eyes and a little dimple on his left cheek when he smiles. He carries himself well with just the right amount of arrogance.

  “Hi Ryan.” I feel like my cheeks are blushing, or at least getting ready to.

  “What’s up Jaylinn?” He says as he checks me out from head to toe.

  Layla snickers from behind me, she knows I’ve been giving him the cold shoulder forever but he just doesn’t seem to get the picture. “You ready to go? I don’t want to be late for my interview.” Layla asks.

  I grab for my bag on the floor but Ryan beats me to it. “I’ve got it.”

  He hands me my bag and I give him a half smile, “I’ve got to get going.” I say and nod in Layla’s direction.

  “Alright.” He shifts his book bag up on his shoulder, “I’ll see you Thursday.”

  “Bye Ryan.” Layla sings as we walk away.

  Layla and I walk out of the classroom and down the hall I ask, “Doesn’t he get the picture that I keep blowing him off?”

  “He’s been drooling over you since he first saw you.” Layla shivers. “How many games has he come to see you play now?”

  I stop dead in my tracks, “What do you mean?”

  “He always comes to our games. Brian says he’s always cheering for you when you score a goal.” She says this like I should know exactly what she’s talking about.

  “I’ve never seen him in the stands.”

  Layla laughs, “Yeah I wouldn’t have seen him either with that hot piece of ass you were dating.”

  I cringe at her words, knowing I should have corrected her a long time ago but I didn’t want to admit that Cooper and I really weren’t a couple.

  “Where has he been anyway? You’ve been spending a lot of time with me recently.”

  “Baseball.” I answer, quickly deflecting her question.

  “Well that sucks for you. I’d be going f
ucking nuts if I had to go that long without him.”

  I pick up the pace, trying to get to my car faster so we can stop talking about Cooper. We reach the car and both throw our bags in the backseat. I climb into the driver’s seat and start up the car.

  “You know where they opened that new club right?”

  I nod, “Yeah.”

  I pull out of the parking spot and turn onto the highway. My stomach is filled with a million butterflies and my hands are all clammy. I send a silent prayer that Cooper isn’t there when I drop her off. I can’t see him, I can’t handle it.

  We almost drive straight past the club, it’s changed so much that I barely recognized the place. Instead of the old flaking red paint, the building has been freshly painted jet black with an eye catching, contrasting, blue trim. They’ve added waterfall columns to the front of the building with soft white light to give them that glow feeling. All the windows that used to have bars on them are now panes of glass so that you can see into the club. The second story of the club now looks to be some kind of deck by the rails outlining the building. They’ve done a three sixty with this place and I feel myself smiling at how much work they put into it.

  Drawing my eyes away from the building, I look for Cooper’s truck. Thankfully it’s not here, there are only three cars in the parking lot, none of which I recognize. I wonder who they have doing interviews for them since I don’t see Eli’s car either.

  I park in a spot between an SUV and a pick-up truck, figuring this would be a safe spot to hide in incase Cooper does show up.

  Layla reaches for the door handle, “Thanks again. I’ll be as quick as possible.”

  Half smiling I say, “Good luck.”

  About a half hour has passed and I’m still waiting for Layla to come out. No one else has entered or left the building since she walked in. A tall, well built, man walks out the front door now. He’s wearing dark sunglasses and a black hat. He walks in my direction, probably wondering why I’m sitting in a parking lot of a business that’s not open yet. The alarm beeps from the truck next to me.

  Whew, I breathe a sigh of relief. I watch as the guy climbs into his truck and drives away, leaving the parking spot next to me open. My mind starts going crazy, I don’t know why exactly because clearly Cooper wouldn’t be coming to the interview this late, Layla has to be almost done.

  I reach in the back seat for my purse. I dig through it and pull out my phone; I’ve got to distract myself with something. I open up Facebook and scroll through my newsfeed. A few minutes have passed and still no Layla.

  “What in the world is taking so long?” I say to myself.

  In the corner of my eye I see a white car pull into the parking lot.

  “Shit.”

  That’s Eli’s BMW. I try sinking down in my seat so that I’m not noticed, but by the sounds around me he’s parked right next to my car.

  Goddamn it. Of all the luck to have.

  I slowly sit up so it’s not too obvious that I was trying to hide but I keep my head down and act like I’m typing a message out on my phone.

  I hear Eli open his door and then shut it. My heart is hammering and I’m sweating.

  Damn it, I should have gone to go get coffee or something and had Layla text me when she was done. I’m so stupid.

  There is a tap on my passenger side window. I look quickly and then back down to my phone and then back again acting surprised to see him. I just hope he’s stupid enough to fall for it.

  I roll the window down. “Hey Eli.”

  Eli narrows his eyes suspiciously at me, “Jaylinn.”

  I set my phone down in the cup holder. I nod towards the building, “My friend is in there interviewing.” I say before he even asks.

  Understanding washes over Eli’s face. “Layla?”

  “Yeah.”

  “You want to come in?” Eli asks.

  My stomach flips, “No, that’s okay.”

  “Cooper’s not coming in till later tonight if that’s what you’re worried about.” Eli explains, understanding my reluctance. “He’s with the team, a meeting or something came up.”

  I look down to my phone, grab it, and then grab my keys and climb out of my car. Call it curiosity but I really want to see what they’ve done to the inside of this place. I also feel like going in here will be like getting a glimpse into Cooper’s new life without me. I wonder if he misses me. I haven’t heard a word from him, not a call or a text and honestly I thought he would have at least tried.

  “Jay?” Eli startles me.

  “Yeah?” I say, slightly embarrassed that I was lost in my own head.

  He chuckles, “I asked how you’ve been.” Eli opens the door for me and we step inside.

  The club is breathtaking. The floor plan is wide open with a huge black bar sitting in the center. It’s modern with a touch of bold. Black leather chairs are set up around the bar with blue diamonds on the back. Black booths with electric blue accents that match the blue in the chairs around the bar outline the walls. The ceiling to floor windows give the club a huge view of the beach.

  “Jay?” Eli startles me again.

  I shake my head trying to clear it, “Sorry. I’m doing fine, trying to keep busy.” I walk around the bar and see a set of stairs in the back.

  “That’s good.” Eli walks over to the bar and puts his keys down. You know, he’s not the same without you.”

  I close my eyes and take a deep breath. I’m glad he’s not the same, neither am I. It’s almost a relief to know that someone else feels this way.

  Eli huffs, “I’m the one that’s supposed to be interviewing Layla. I got tied up. Why don’t you have a look around and I’ll go do the interview with her real quick.”

  “Sure.” I walk to the stairs. “Is it ok if I go up there?”

  He smiles, “Of course.”

  The smile on his face settles the uneasiness that I was feeling earlier. Eli walks down a hallway and I walk up the stairs. I push the black door open and squint my eyes, letting them adjust to the sunlight. The second floor is three quarters opened to a black bar that matches the one downstairs, and lines the only wall. I walk over to it to get a better look. I stop dead in my tracks when I see the words, the same words that are tattooed on me, Inhale you future, exhale our past, right above the bar. Tears spring to my eyes. Why would he do this? He has a huge piece of my heart painted on the wall of the bar he owns. A tear slips down my cheek but I don’t wipe it away. I needed to see this, if I can’t be a part of his life at least I get to see a little piece of it and now I know that a part of me that means so much is there for him to see every day.

  I run my hand over the top of the bar as the tears come. I walk over to the railing and look out over to the Atlantic Ocean. This building is in a really great location and it should do really well, especially in the summer months. Just off into the distance I can see the Sky Ride that Cooper and I shared our real first kiss on.

  I don’t know how long I’ve been up here just enjoying the view when Eli comes up next to me. “Pretty sweet view, huh?”

  “Yeah.” I reach up and wipe away the last remaining tears.

  “Your friend is downstairs waiting for you.” Eli tells me. “I hired her.”

  Smiling I say, “Thank you.”

  He returns the smile and the butterflies are back in full force. Eli has a perfect smile and you just have to smile back, even if you have nothing to smile about.

  “So since Layla is starting this weekend does that mean I get to see your pretty face at the grand opening too?”

  I cross my arms over my chest as goose bumps cover my arms, and it’s not from being cold. “I don’t think that’s such a good idea.” I realize that the shirt I’m wearing reveals a little more of my chest than I’m used to, and with my arms crossed over my chest Eli is getting an eyeful.

  I glance up and sure enough Eli is staring at me. When he notices that I caught him he laughs and I can’t help but laugh too. It’s nice to feel desired
by someone who is so attractive.

  “You should come, pretty girl.” Eli says as he tucks a piece of hair behind my ear.

  I say, teasing, “Do you call all the girls that?”

  He shakes his head, “No, only you.” And then he winks at me.

  My cheeks flame instantly. I sigh like a little school girl. “You’re a flirt, Eli Sabatino.”

  He chuckles when he sees that my cheeks are in fact red. “You’re hot and I like to flirt, but you’re one of my friends’ girls at the end of the day so it’s all in good fun.”

  A pang of longing for Cooper hits me. I drop my arms and turn to walk back downstairs, remembering that Layla is waiting for me. The words, my words, painted on the wall stop me for just a second.

  Eli comes up behind me and wraps his big strong arms around me. It takes everything in me not to lean back into him, needing the support, just needing to be told that everything will be okay.

  Eli whispers in my ear, “Throw him a curve ball, Jay.” I turn my head to the side, “Throw something at him that he’s not expecting.”

  I nod and step out of Eli’s hold on me, “Thanks again for hiring Layla.”

  He winks, “I did it for you, pretty girl.”

  I shake my head and leave Eli and his flirting behind with a new sense of determination. Eli’s words play over and over in my head as I drive Layla to her house to drop her off. I’ve barely paid her any attention but she’s talked enough for the both of us and I don’t think she’s caught on that I’ve barely said a word.

  I’m throwing Cooper a curve ball, one that he’s not going to expect.

  It’s Saturday afternoon, the grand opening for the club is tonight. We have a full staff on hand , a great DJ lined up, and everything else is set and ready to go. We’ve ran a few advertising campaigns to draw in a crowd and we’ve been hearing great feedback.

  Mason and I are at the gym, burning off some of this adrenaline that’s pumping through my body with the opening tonight.

  “So you ready for tonight?” Mason asks as we’re changing in the locker room.

  I pull my t-shirt over my head, “Yeah, everything is all set. You’re coming right?”