Let Me Love You (Love #4)

by Megan Smith

  Sighing, “I know, I have been.” I agree.

  “You need a little fun in your life.”

  Layla has been pushing me to go out on a date, to have a little fun. She’s told me on more than one occasion that all I do is mope around. Unfortunately she’s right, but it’s the only way I can manage.

  Thursday afternoon, in between classes, we’re sitting under one of the trees in the court yard. She points to a few guys that walk by.

  “He’s cute.” Layla says, pointing to a tall skinny kid walking by.

  I like a guy with some meat on his body, a nice smile, and beautiful eyes. Blue grey eyes that belong to someone I’ll never have again.

  “Clearly we have different taste,” I start to say before a guy that looks similar to Cooper walks by, “because…” I’ve completely lost my train of thought. The guy is dressed in black sneakers, tan cargo shorts and a black t-shirt that clings to his upper body. He’s got a black hat that’s pulled down low over his eyes, his jaw is strong and he carries himself with confidence.

  Layla starts laughing, “Well, now we know what type of guy you’re into.”

  The guy takes a seat at a bench not too far from where we are sitting and takes out a book from his book bag.

  I glare at Layla, “Shut up.”

  We were sitting here laughing and having a great time until her asshole boyfriend, Brian, shows up and rains on our parade. Layla’s demeanor changes instantly, she becomes a different person. She turns unsure and nervous.

  “You have a way home?” Brian asks before kissing her on the lips.

  I roll my eyes and look away.

  Layla narrows her eyes at me, “Shithead here is taking me to work.”

  Brian kisses her again before adjusting his book bag on his shoulder. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

  “Bye.” Layla says timidly.

  The second Brian leaves Layla becomes her normal self again. She’s like this every time Brian is around. Something is off with him but I’m just not sure what it is.

  “Why do you do that?” I ask, annoyed by the fact that he has so much control over her.

  She shrugs and takes a bite of a carrot stick from a container in her purse.

  I roll my eyes, “You never answer me.” I slide my sunglasses down on my nose. “Why?”

  She starts to shrug her shoulder again.

  “Ugh,” I push my sunglasses back up and grab my Kindle out of my purse. I started a really great book last night and I want to finish it.

  Layla clears her throat, “So what are your plans for tonight?”

  “Oh, now you want to talk.” I respond, clearly irritated. “I’ve got to go over to Chloe’s and help get a few things ready for Hailey’s baby shower.”

  She bites down on her carrot and looks over across the way. I turn to see what’s caught her attention. Ryan. Here we go again.

  I place my Kindle back in my bag. I guess I’ll have to finish it tonight when I get home. I start gathering my books and Layla does the same.

  “Hurry up.” I urge her.

  She giggles, “You know, you should just go out on a date with him and make it painfully boring and then maybe he’ll leave you alone.”

  “Hey Jay.” Ryan says in a low husky voice that comes out more like a growl.

  “Oh hey Ryan, Layla and I are on our way out. She’s going to be late for work.”

  Layla flat out laughs and I glare at her. She isn’t helping me whatsoever. “Oh yeah? Where do you work at Layla?”

  “That new b---” Layla starts to say before I cut her off. “That new bistro down off College Drive.” I glance back over, hoping she’s going to play along.

  “Yeah,” Ryan reaches up and scratches at the scruff around his face. “I’ve heard it was pretty nice.”

  I raise my eyebrows at Layla whose eyes are jumping back and forth between Ryan and I. There isn’t a new bistro that opened up on College Drive, not that I know of. Clearly he’s just trying to keep the conversation going.

  “Well, we’ve got to get going. We’ll talk to you later.” I grab Layla’s arm and drag her along behind me.

  When we’ve gotten a few feet from him I spin on Layla, “Thanks for fucking helping me.”

  She puts a hand up to cover her mouth, I know she’s laughing but she also knows I’m pissed off.

  “I’m sorry. Who knew you could think so quick on your feet.” She snorts. “Is there really a new bistro on College Drive?”

  “No,” I smile. “I totally pulled that out of my ass.”

  Layla frowns, “Poor guy.”

  I narrow my eyes at her, “Poor guy? What about poor me?”

  “Just go out with him, get it over with and be done with him.” Layla says seriously as we reach my car. I hit the unlock button and we climb in.

  “I don’t think that’s going to get rid of him.”

  “You’ll never know.”

  She’s right, I may never know. I mean, I could just go out on one date, in a public place, make it the most mind-numbing date ever and pray he doesn’t ask for another.

  Sighing, “I’ll think about it.”

  She reaches up to change the radio station. “Good.”

  As I drive to drop Layla off the reality hits me that Cooper and I really are done. I’ll never have his strong arms wrapped around me late at night when it’s just the two of us. He’s not going to be there to dry the tears that are now falling down my face. My stomach tightens at the thought of starting a new relationship.

  “Jay,” Layla places her hand on my arm offering me comfort. “I know it’s hard and scary but you’re too amazing to be sitting here wallowing. If Cooper doesn’t see what he lost out on then that’s on him.”

  She’s right, I know she is. It’s time to put my broken heart in a box and tuck it on the shelf in my closet. It’s time to move on.

  After I dropped Layla off at her house I head over to Chloe’s where MacKenzie is meeting us to go over the plans for Hailey’s shower in a few weeks. We planned the shower on the weekend that Mason and Cooper come home as a little surprise to Hailey. She thinks they’ll be home the last week in March but they’ll actually be home the weekend before. It hasn’t been easy to keep it from Hailey when on a daily basis she’s crying because she misses him. So I think this extra little surprise will make it even better for her.

  “I can’t believe she’s almost due.” Chloe says as she rolls up a diaper and secures it with a rubber band.

  The three of us are working on a diaper cake for Hailey. It’s a four tier cake with all kinds of goodies wrapped in and around the cake. Since they don’t know the sex of the twins we are keeping it all natural colors with the jungle theme they picked out.

  MacKenzie huffs, “I know and she has to be going crazy being stuck inside the house twenty-four hours a day. I’d go insane.”

  I pick up a piece of ribbon and secure it around the bottom layer. “She is going insane.” I laugh. “Just last night I swear I heard her in her room having a full blown conversation with herself.”

  Chloe and MacKenzie stop what they’re doing, look at each other and burst out laughing.

  “Poor girl.” I say.

  Chloe wipes the tears from her eyes, “That’s what she gets for messing with Mason. We know which Cahill has the super sperm.”

  MacKenzie grimaces. “That’s gross.” She shudders. “I don’t want to know about my brother’s super sperm.”

  Chloe giggle, “Don’t worry Kenz, Hunter’s got the sexy sperm.”

  My eyebrows furrow, “Sexy sperm?”

  Chloe rolls her eyes, “Your brother’s fucking hot.”

  “Oh my God.”

  MacKenzie gets the dreamy look on her face, “He is fucking sexy.”

  “Please,” I beg. “Can we talk about something other than sperm and how hot and sexy my brother is? I’m trying to keep my lunch down.”

  “You know who else is sexy?” Chloe asks with a sly smile.

  MacKenzie bites, �
��Who?”

  Chloe looks over in my direction and winks, “Eli.”

  “Oh hell,” Just the mention of his name and my cheeks start to burn. Damn it.

  “Hmm.” MacKenzie moans, her eyes sparkling with mischief. “He is sexy.” She agrees.

  Chloe points to me. “Look at you blushing.”

  I shrug, trying to play it off. “What?” My voice is somewhat squeaky. “I can’t help it.”

  MacKenzie sighs, “I wonder what he’s hiding under that shirt of his.”

  I cock an eyebrow at her, “More than you can handle, honey.”

  Both girls burst out into a fit of laughter. I needed this tonight with the girls. I just needed that connection, to feel close to the family I feel like I’m losing now that I’m not a part of Cooper’s life.

  Once we’ve settled down Chloe asks, “Have you seen what’s under it?”

  I shrug; acting like it’s no big deal that I have. “Yeah.”

  “And…” MacKenzie probes.

  “It’s perfect, flawless.” I bite down on the corner of my lip. “Damn near magical.” There is nothing wrong with admiring his perfection. Nothing at all if you ask me. Eli is a huge flirt but that’s as far as it will ever go. He knows when he uses his charm on me it gets a rise out of me so he does it often.

  Chloe asks with wide eyes, “You’ve seen him shirtless?”

  And now my whole body blushes, “I’ve seen him dripping wet and in a towel. A couple of years ago he was showering at Mason and Cooper’s and he walked out just as I was going into Cooper’s room.”

  The three of us sigh heavily, each lost in our own thoughts of what Eli looks like without a shirt on, but my mind wanders to Cooper’s impeccable body. His strong and muscular body, the years he’s spent in the gym and playing baseball have done his physique wonders.

  Ugh, I have got to stop thinking like that.

  “So,” I brace my hands on the kitchen table, “I think I’m going to start dating again.”

  MacKenzie smiles sweetly, “I think that’s great Jay.”

  My stomach gets little butterflies. “Really?”

  Chloe speaks up, “I think you need to do what makes you happy. If you think you’re ready to date then do it.”

  Sighing heavily, “I’m not sure I’m ready but I think I want to try and see how it goes.”

  MacKenzie covers my hand with hers and gives a little squeeze. “Don’t let him hold you back Jaylinn. He’s an idiot for letting you go and he’ll realize that when it’s too late.”

  A mischievous smile spreads across Chloe’s beautiful face.

  “What?” I ask.

  “What about Eli?”

  I shake my head shooting her idea down, “Bros before hoes.”

  “I think you should try.” Chloe looks over to MacKenzie, probably gauging her reaction to creating a plan that could possibly hurt her brother. Her face is neutral, no worry etched on her face.

  “I think I need a drink.”

  Chloe walks over to her fridge and pulls out a bottle of wine.

  “Oh great,” MacKenzie put her hands on her hips. “Nothing good can come from that bottle but I’m damn glad I’m not breast feeding anymore.”

  MacKenzie walks over and takes the glasses that Chloe is pulling from the cabinet. She places them on the table where we’re working and fills them with white wine. Thankfully, I have nowhere to be tonight so I can drink and, worst case scenario, Jackson can drive me home or I can crash on the couch.

  Two diaper cakes, two diaper babies and two bottles of wine later, the three of us are feeling no pain at all.

  MacKenzie stumbles into the living room and face plants on the couch. She lies there for a minute not moving and I’m not even sure she’s breathing until she starts giggle uncontrollably.

  “I love you.” MacKenzie announces.

  I look over to Chloe and snicker, “Who do you love, weirdo?”

  “You.”

  MacKenzie rolls and when she does she rolls right off the couch. Chloe and I start laughing as MacKenzie lays on the floor pouting.

  “Help me.”

  I shake my head. “Nope, you’re better off there.”

  MacKenzie hasn’t drank much at all lately because of Ryder and Olivia so between the three of us finishing off those bottles she’s pretty much tanked. I don’t drink much either and I’m feeling pretty good, I don’t have a care in the world. My past isn’t trying to become my present.

  “You’re the worst sister-in-laws ever.” MacKenzie whines.

  I set my now empty wine glass on the living room table, get on my hands and knees and crawl over to her on the floor. Chloe follows suit. I lay my head on MacKenzie stomach and Chloe lays hers on mine.

  “This is sad.” Chloe says as she starts cackling again.

  “You’re sad?” MacKenzie asks.

  I shake my head at my sister-in-law. “No idiot,” I say laughing. “She said that this is sad.”

  Jackson comes into view, although he’s upside down. He clears his throat. “You three are sad.” He says chuckling.

  “Hey!” The three of us say in unison.

  Jackson sits on a black leather recliner across from us. “What? It’s the truth. I came home to put Alex up to bed and come back down to find three of my favorite girls lying on the floor looking half asleep with silly smiles plastered on your faces.

  Suddenly MacKenzie sits up straight, causing my head to fall into her lap, “Mason has super sperm, Jackson.”

  Jackson sits back in the recliner and groans. “I don’t care about my brother’s sperm.”

  “Well if it makes you feel any better my brother has sexy sperm.”

  Jackson scrubs his face with his hands. “Let’s not talk about sperm at all.”

  Chloe sits up and crawls on all fours over to her husband. Jackson’s eyes turn into liquid before he reaches down and pulls Chloe onto his lap.

  “I wanna go home.” MacKenzie complains.

  Jackson looks over at his sister and shakes his head. “Let’s go little one. I’ll drive you home.”

  MacKenzie attempts to stand and falls over several times. I roll over on my stomach and lay my head on the plush carpet, suddenly feeling very tired.

  “How much did you girls have to drink?” Jackson asks.

  Chloe yawns, “Two bottles.”

  Jackson scuffs, “That’s it?”

  Chloe throws a pillow at him but misses and hit MacKenzie square in the face.

  “Hey.” She says after pushing some of her hair out of her face.

  “Sorry.” Chloe says laughing.

  “She’s not sorry.” I say, laughing as well.

  Jackson swears, “You’re all light weights.”

  The three of us grunt a response.

  “You need a ride too, Jay?” Jackson asks. He has to pick up MacKenzie and throw her over his shoulder.

  “Can you carry me too?” I yawn. “I’m too tired to move.”

  Chloe throws a blanket at me and I grab the pillow she threw at MacKenzie. “She’s staying the night.” Chloe tells Jackson as I drift off into nothingness.

  Nothingness changes into fear and panic as the memories hit me hard once again. I lay on the floor in Chloe and Jackson’s living room, counting to ten to calm myself down. After a while I don’t hear anyone which is good because how would I ever explain this to them? How would I explain a monster under my bed when I’m a grown adult?

  I fold the blanket and put the pillow back on the recliner and go about collecting my things and heading home, not wanting to face them in the morning if they did in fact hear me.

  Two more weeks.

  Just two more weeks until I’m back on a plane and on my way home.

  “Pay attention, asshole.” Mason yells at me from the pitcher’s mound.

  I can’t get my head into the game. I’ve got too much going round in my mind and nothing I do is stopping my thoughts from wandering to Jaylinn and how the club is doing. I haven’t been able to
check in with Eli as much as I want since we barely get any down time.

  Standing, I take off my helmet and wipe my forehead with the back of my hand. I’m tired, hungry, and it’s blazing hot today. I also did something to my elbow when Martinez ran into me coming home. I threw the ball to Paul, the second baseman, and I felt something pull in my elbow at the same time Martinez’s helmet connected with it.

  “What’s going on with you?” Mason gripes. He’s pissed because I’m not giving him the signals I know what he wants, but I’m trying to keep from using my left arm as much as possible.

  I shake my head, unsure of what to tell him that will make him back off. “Sorry, bro.”

  It’s late in the afternoon and thankfully nothing is planned tonight so we have some free time. I need this time to rest my body and clear my mind. I want to call and check in with everyone. I really want to find out how Jaylinn is doing. Since it’s only Mason and I that are away I don’t have a fucking clue what’s going on with her back home. I’ve tried asking Mason about her in a roundabout way but he gives me nothing.

  Mason throws the ball into his mitt, “You ready to get the fuck out of here?”

  He doesn’t have to ask me twice. “Let’s go.” The rest of the team took off an hour or so ago and it’s just the two of us left here, putting in a little extra practice.

  Mason and I go back to the locker room to shower and change. I push my wallet into my back pocket and look over at Mason. He’s smiling stupidly at his phone. Hailey is probably taking more naked pictures and sending them to him for his spank bank.

  Rolling my eyes, I grab my bag and step outside so that I can give Eli a call and check in on things back home.

  The sun beats down on me again as I pull my phone from my pocket and dial Eli’s number. It’s just after dinner so he should be at the club getting ready for the night.

  “What’s up, Cooper?” Eli says when he answers the phone.

  “Just calling to check in. Things have been busy, as you can imagine, and I’m not getting as much time as I thought I would.” I say, attempting to explain why I haven’t called in two weeks before he even asks.

  “Yeah, yeah I get it.” His voice sounds tired and stressed, mirroring my own. “Things are going good. I had to let one of the bartenders go last night though.”