Passion in Portland 2016 Anthology

by Anthology

  “You want to sit for a bit?” She pointed toward a green grassy area under a blooming cherry blossom tree. My arm fell from her shoulder and I pressed my hand on the small of her back, silently asking her to take the lead. We sat side by side and leaned against the tree’s trunk.

  “It’s so peaceful and serene here; I’ve never seen anything like it.” I turned to look at her. In the little sunlight cutting through the branches above us, her hazel eyes were gorgeous. “You are as beautiful as I remember,” I admitted softly.

  I swear she blushed at my words. My words were true, though. Her eyes, her scent, everything about Malia was hypnotic. I was totally screwed. Time and miles apart had played an important role in suppressing everything about her and our relationship. Back then I had taken her for granted and tossed her away out of selfishness. But now, sitting here in broad daylight, I welcomed every emotion, thought, and memory that resurfaced.

  “Zack … what’s happening?” Malia asked, as she stared back at me.

  “What do you mean?” I knew what I felt, but had no idea how to explain it. Would she think I was crazy?

  “Do you feel it? It’s like we never parted.”

  “I do, and it’s freaking me the hell out.” I wrapped my hand around the back of her neck and splayed my fingers in her hair. The long brown strands felt like silk, and I gently pulled her face closer to mine until our lips almost touched. “I feel all of it.”

  Malia closed the space between us, crashing her lips against mine. When she bit my bottom lip, I groaned in pleasure. Taking that as an invitation, she pressed harder and swirled her tongue with mine.

  Then, the strangest thing happened. All the beautiful fresh air became hard to breathe. My neck and chest tingled with warmth, and my heart about beat out of my chest. We needed to find a way to see if this could ever work again. She was mine, and I didn’t want to let her go again. I broke the kiss and looked into her eyes.

  “Come home with me? This has to be fate giving us a second chance. We can make a life together.” I sat there, surprisingly calm after what I had asked. What made me panic was the look on her face.

  It was blank. Nothing. There was absolutely no emotion whatsoever.

  Two beats later, Malia stood, crossed her arms over chest, and turned her back to me. I stood and my hand caressed the back of her neck.

  “Hey, it could work. I know it could. We feel right. We always have. We can pick up where we left off,” I rambled, afraid of being rejected.

  Like I had rejected her that night before she left.

  She stood there mute and stock still, not even glancing back to look at me. “Why?” she whispered. “So you can freak out and leave me alone all over again?”

  “Malia.” I grabbed her arm and spun her around to face me. “We were young. I was scared and had no idea what to do. You were asking me to move my whole life across the Pacific Ocean, not the next town over. What the hell was I supposed to do?”

  “You could’ve been a man and come with me. I needed you then. I loved you and you left me—with a broken heart. I needed you, and you let me go. How do you expect me to react, Zack?”

  She didn’t actually have to hit me for her words to feel like a slap to the face. A slap I deserved. The pain in her eyes spoke volumes, and there were no words that would soothe her ache. I really had left her with a broken heart.

  “I’m sorry.” I lifted her chin to look at me. “I never imagined I would run into you again, let alone have to deal with our past resurfacing every other second.” I pulled her bottom lip down with my thumb.

  “So it was okay to break my heart as long as you never had to see me again?”

  “No, not at all. It’s that after you left, I kind of suppressed everything and convinced myself it was the right choice despite what my heart said. When I saw you again, my whole world stopped. All of the things I refused to think about over the last five years came rushing back. I was foolish to think I could ignore everything. I never got over you, and I think there is still a huge part of me that knew I never would. I’m sorry for the way I left things; I’m sorry I hurt you. Please, give me a chance to make it right.”

  A strong urge to lean into her touch came over me when she gently placed her palm to my cheek. “I’m sorry for freaking out. But I don’t think a long distance relationship is realistic, do you?” When I didn’t answer right away, she sighed. “Zack?”

  “Hey, forget about it. How about we head back? I have some work to catch up on. If you’re up to it, maybe we could do dinner or something?” was what I said, but what I really wanted to say was that, yes, I did think the long distance thing would work. That I wanted to see if we could make it work.

  “I’d like that. Why don’t you come over, and I’ll cook for you?”

  “You always have been a fantastic cook.” I bit back my grin and she smacked my arm.

  “Oh, please, haole boy, have you forgotten all the ono Hawaiian food I would make you eat?”

  “How could I forget? What did you call the green one with the coconut milk in it?

  “Squid luau.” She shivered and made a ‘yuck’ face.

  “That’s right. You made me eat that container you had in your freezer. It wasn’t actually that bad.”

  “Whatever, I hate coconut.”

  I chuckled and shook my head. “Some Hawaiian girl you are.”

  “Well, I am only about half.”

  ***

  At seven thirty on the dot, my cab pulled curbside to Malia’s apartment building. I paid the driver, grabbed the bottle of wine I had purchased from a nearby store, and took the elevator to the fourth floor.

  I held my fist suspended inches from her door, mid-knock. A smooth melody was playing inside her apartment, and it made me think of our time together at OSU. Was she listening to it on purpose? Maybe. But when I knocked, the music cut off a second later.

  “Just a sec!” she called.

  The door opened slowly. Malia stood there in a sexy Hawaiian print strapless dress with a flower behind her ear, and it was suddenly hard to breathe. I gripped the wine bottle for stability. As if a wine bottle could save me from this gorgeous woman threatening to bring me to my knees.

  “Hey.” She offered shyly and glanced down.

  I stepped closer. “You look absolutely stunning,” I said, before pressing a soft kiss to her lips. “You always used to wear your flower on the left.”

  “That’s when I was taken. I’m single now, remember?”

  “Well, we can pretend for tonight?” I was gentle when I reached up, pulled the flower from her hair, and tucked it back in on the left side.

  “Thanks.” She smiled at me, touching the flower and stepping back so I could come in.

  “You’re welcome. It looks much better on the left anyway.”

  I knew she picked apart that comment, but she didn’t say anything. Instead she turned and led me into her apartment, which smelled of my all-time favorite food.

  “Sorry, no Hawaiian food this time, but I hope you still like lasagna,” she said, flipping off the oven and grabbing some oven mits before opening the door.

  “With spinach?”

  “Umm hmm.” She placed the glass casserole dish on the stove top.

  “You remembered?”

  She reached into her cabinet and grabbed two wine glasses. She had to reach, and when she did her dress slid higher up the backs of her thighs. I adjusted my cock and she looked over her shoulder. “I think we’ve already established the fact that we haven’t forgotten a thing about each other.”

  I smiled. “Yeah, I guess you’re right.”

  “Here, while I get dinner served, why don’t you open the wine?” She handed me a wine key and the glasses. “We can eat in the living room if you would like.”

  I gathered everything and went to get comfortable on her couch. A minute later, she joined me and set two plates on the coffee table. I poured her a glass of wine, and she waited while I poured one for myself.

&
nbsp; “Cheers.” She gently tapped her glass to mine and had that look in her eyes that made me want to kiss her again. We’d have plenty of time for that later, though.

  “To us.” I sipped my wine and stared at her over the rim of my glass. Where had the time gone?

  We set our glasses down, and she handed me a plate. I took a bite, and looked at her with wide eyes. “Wow, this is delicious.” My words were a garbled mess as I paid her the compliment.

  “Thank you. I had some time to perfect it.” And a frown replaced my smile. “Shit. I’m sorry, Zack. I didn’t mean anything by it.”

  “Don’t even worry about it.”

  Malia picked up a remote and turned the music back on, the same soft melodies as before.

  “So when did you move to San Diego?” she asked, and dabbed her mouth with a napkin.

  “Not too long after you left.”

  She nodded in understanding. “Doesn’t your father have an engineering firm here in Portland? Why didn’t you stay here and work?”

  “My father wasn’t a partner at the time. It’s only been about two years since he was offered a partnership.”

  “I see,” she replied, and took another bite of her lasagna.

  “He’s been pushing for me to take over a management role with the company, but it’s not something I’m ready to take on. It would mean less time designing and more time micromanaging. That’s not me.”

  “No. That’s not you. But management isn’t that bad.”

  “Easy for you to say, Miss Aloha. It’s why you have the Business Management degree. And with your pretty smile …” I paused, waiting for her to challenge me. When she didn’t, I continued. “Most engineers would rather hide behind their AutoCAD program or designing a community master plan.”

  She giggled. “I guess you’re right.”

  I set my empty plate down on the coffee table, leaned back in to the the couch, and exaggerated a pregnant belly. “Damn, that was delicious. I’m stuffed.”

  Malia laughed and it was music to my ears. “I hope you left room for dessert.”

  My lips parted and I lowered my voice. “I came especially for dessert.”

  In an instant, her cheeks were flushed and her legs parted slightly—a subtle invitation.

  “Later.” I squeezed her thigh before I refilled our wine glasses.

  “Zack, I have a confession to make.” That got my attention. I raised one eyebrow and waited for her to elaborate. “I kind of knew you would be at that conference.”

  I cocked my head to the side in confusion. “How’s that?”

  “I saw your name on the attendance list. Assistant Banquet Manager, remember?”

  Well, I’ll be damned.

  “And you liked the idea of seeing me again?”

  “I wasn’t totally against it.” She picked at something on the skirt of her dress.

  “But not totally for it either?”

  “I wouldn’t say that.”

  I wanted her to say it. I wanted her to tell me she wanted to see me and had made it a point to be in the lobby when I checked in. I waited for the words, but she stood and took a small step away from me.

  “I think I’m ready for dessert now.”

  CHAPTER SIX – Malia

  Spending the last few days with Zack had uncovered feelings and emotions that I thought no longer existed. It was easy with him—our conversations, the way we connected, and the sex.

  Zack would go into the office for a few hours, then we’d meet and tour more of the city. In the last three days, we had visited random tourist traps, ate and drank way too much, and driven across the Hawthorne Bridge. I think that last one was the highlight for Zack, and I teased him mercilessly about it. Only a true engineer would be fascinated by the workmanship of a bridge. Yesterday, we drove out to Corvallis to visit OSU—our old stomping ground and the place where our magic and romance all began. We talked about where we could’ve been by now had we still been together.

  Our time was over, though, and he was going back to San Diego. This time, he would be getting on a plane without me. I was still trying to wrap my mind around how, in only a week together, my heart felt happy and safe with him around. When he held me and kissed me, all the words he didn’t say were clear. When our bodies were one, I felt whole.

  “Hey,” Zack spoke gently while his warm hands rested atop my shoulders and he kissed the back of my head. “You could always come with me, you know,” he whispered close to my ear. The warmth of his body radiated against mine. He was standing behind me in only a towel, his hair and body still damp from the shower. It made me want give in to him one more time.

  “Zack …” I looked over my shoulder at him. “Don’t make this any harder than it already is.” I turned to face him and wrapped my arms around his waist. “We had our fun, and now it’s time to get back to reality.” I hated the words. I didn’t mean them. Not really. If I were being honest, I would have asked him to stay. I would have told him I would give everything up to be with him in San Diego. I wanted his everything, but I couldn’t say the words.

  “I need to get dressed,” Zack spoke softly.

  I dropped my hands from his waist, and he reached into his suitcase to grab a pair of jeans, his underwear, and a button down shirt. My mind was reeling, my heart was in emotional turmoil, and I refused to let him see me break down. So, I walked out of the room and headed straight to the kitchen.

  Standing at the sink with the empty coffee pot in hand, I did my best to pull myself together. Our short time together felt like a replay of our past, but this time there was the possibility of an alternate ending.

  Is there a chance to pursue a relationship?

  Minutes later, Zack rapped his knuckles against the wall.

  “Can I come in?” he asked.

  I didn’t want him to think I was pathetic. Starting a new life together in San Diego after reconnecting only days before was unrealistic. I blinked back the tears. When I was certain they wouldn’t fall, I turned to face him.

  “Is there anything I can do to make this not hurt as much?”

  Did he expect me to lie and say yes? It was obvious I had a minor melt down. I shook my head, and he closed the distance between us and wrapped me in his strong arms, holding me close to his chest. The security of being wrapped tight was one of the many things I would miss.

  “It’s pretty clear something happened this past week, sweetheart,” he said in a gentle voice with a flirtatious undertone. “And I’d be lying if I said I didn’t feel exactly how you look.”

  “What!” I pulled back and looked at him. “Are you trying to tell me I look like shit?”

  “Honestly?”

  With my best you-better-watch-it-mister look, I pinched his side. “I’m sorry, I …” My demeanor shifted. “Why does this feel like the night before I had to leave?” I whispered.

  He stood there and held me close, clearly thinking how to put whatever what was happening into words. It didn’t come easy; nothing about this moment felt easy.

  “What if we keep in touch and see if it progresses? I might be frequenting this area a bit more now that we have an office here. What do you think?”

  There was no guarantee that a long distance relationship would work, but then again, no relationship came with a guarantee. I may feel the same about him now as I did five years ago, but he was still the one who left me high and dry. I may want this, but it didn’t change anything. My head was being so logical. My heart was sitting in the corner yelling about wanting what it wanted regardless of what my brain said.

  “I think you need to get dressed before you miss your flight.”

  ***

  In the last few weeks, Zack’s calls had been scarce, saying work was demanding and deadlines were keeping him from calling more than he wanted to. I had a strong hunch right before he left that this would happen and had done my best to not get my hopes up.

  But every day since then I replayed the time we spent in the gardens. The look of h
ope in his eyes, the grin on his lips, and the sound of optimism in his voice. I still could not believe what he had asked of me only days after reconnecting. Did he really think we could ignore the time that had separated us? I had no idea what kind of life he had back in San Diego, if he had a girlfriend. Oh god, and we slept together. Well, if he did have a girlfriend, that was on him.

  The worst part of all of this was that I was so angry with myself for letting him go. For not taking his offer of a second chance. He was right; we’d been young, and I had asked a lot of him then, but I thought we loved each other and would move heaven and earth to be together. Jobs were easy to come by. True love came around only once in a lifetime.

  My phone rang, and for a second, I hoped it was Zack. It was my sister.

  “Hello.”

  “Malia.” She huffed loudly.

  “Syd?”

  “This kid better get here soon, sissy. Do you think you could come out a few days early?”

  “Well, you only have a few weeks left.”

  “I’m due in six days.” She laughed, but I was frantic as I looked at my calendar. Shit, I really had totally lost track of time. “Mom flew in two days ago, and she’s driving me freaking nuts and hounding me every five seconds about what I can and cannot do. Save me, please. Pretty pleeeease.”

  “Okay, okay. I’ll see what I can do about moving my flight up. I’ll call you when everything is set. Don’t you dare have that baby before I get there!” I rambled into the phone, demanding updates every hour. The minute I hung up with my sister, my phone rang again, and Garren’s name popped up.

  “What’s up?” I asked, still giddy as I ran to my room and started packing a bag.

  “Hey, babe. How are you?” I could hear the smile in his voice.

  “Good. My sister called. She asked me to fly out a few days early, so I’m packing. I still have to call the hotel and get the extra time off and change my flight though.”

  “Well then. I was going to ask you if you were planning on doing anything for your birthday this weekend, but I guess we’ll have to celebrate early. You up for going out tonight?”