by Amanda Munoz
“Change your mind?” He asks.
I’m caught. I decide to try and play it off and keep my cool. “Oh, no. I was just going to make sure the door locked. Sometimes the key fob doesn’t work right.” It flows effortlessly, I did well.
“Oh, okay good. For a minute there I thought you were going to drive around the block a few times and then park down there and wait for a half hour.” He smiles and I’m mortified. Why does he do that? He could just pretend like I just got here. Of course he saw me, that’s my luck.
“Ha-ha. You’re so funny.” I say sarcastically and start walking towards the door. I take a few deep breaths to calm my nerves and then I get to the top step and come face to face with him. With my boots on he is only a few inches taller than me. I lift my head slightly and look into his eyes. He takes a step back and slowly lets his eyes travel down my body then back up. I flush under his gaze.
“Wow.” It’s all he says but it’s more than enough. My cheeks warm and I look down for a second instinctively to hide my embarrassment but remember there is no reason to be ashamed and I look back up meeting his eyes.
He grins, “Confidence is sexy” he says and then leans down and slowly kisses my lips. This kiss is different then I remember it’s less wild and more passionate. He kisses me like he’s missed me. Like he’s desperate for my mouth.
He steps away from the doorway and lets me walk in first. The food is already set up on a blanket in the living room. He’s pushed back a coffee table and chair in the corner. I look around his place and it’s really clean and pretty plain, kind of like his car. Most of the walls are bare and sterile white except for one filled with pencil and charcoal sketches in black frames. The drawings are all different, a few are of birds and flowers, some of buildings and churches and the rest are exceptionally detailed drawings of people. One in particular catches my attention. It’s the homeless man we gave the Danishes too. He’s sitting with his back against a brick wall with his arms folded asleep. The detail in his features is so life like. I’m in awe. They are incredible.
“These are beautiful! Did you draw these?” I ask him completely fascinated.
He walks up towards the drawings and reaches a hand out to one of them tracing the lines through the glass of the frame. “Yeah.” he says softly and turns to me, “I used to draw a lot. Not so much anymore, no muse I guess.” He smiles and kisses my forehead and turns away from the wall of art. Just like that the conversation is over.
“Want the grand tour?” he says as he waves his arm like Vanna White. I follow him and the “grand tour” lasts about 30 seconds. One bedroom with an attached master bathroom, a living room, and eat-in kitchen. All done. But it’s nice and it smells like him.
All the food he chose tastes delicious and we enjoy our meal and easy conversation. We spend the rest of the evening talking and laughing and I tell him all about my “sick day” from work.
“You should call in tomorrow.” His face changes like he just had the greatest idea ever.
“I can’t! I just did that Monday!” He can’t be serious.
“I know, and you’re still sick right? I don’t think that was enough time.” He smiles at me and I can’t help but smile back.
I shake my head at him, “You’re crazy!” But in the back of my mind it was so tempting.
“Crazy about you.” he says and wags his eyebrows.
“Oh my God, you did not just say that! That was so corny!” I laugh so hard at him and he gasps in mock offense.
We spend the next couple hours laughing and talking and having a really great time. It’s getting late and I know I should get going. If I spend any more time here I’m for sure going to have to call in tomorrow. I’ll be too exhausted to wake up.
“I should go Javier. It’s getting late.” He looks at me and pouts. It’s adorable and totally working. I’m a sucker for those big, brown eyes.
“Fine, but I want to take you somewhere first.” He gets up from the floor and starts walking down the hall.
“What? Now?” I call out since he’s in a different room.
He comes back with a thick black hoodie and his socks and shoes on and another sweater in his hand.
“Yeah, take your car so you can go home afterward. You can follow me. It’s not far and we won’t be out too late. I promise.” He hands me the sweater and gestures for me to hurry up.
I follow Javier for about four or five miles and come to a stop in front of large, locked, gated entryway. He parks his car and gets out so I do the same.
“What is this place?” I look around but it’s so dark I can’t see much of anything.
“It’s the old airport. Did you know we had our own here for a few years but there wasn’t a lot of air traffic in and out of here? The city was putting out more money than getting in. They shut it down after a few years. Come on,” he says and grabs my hand. He walks to the gate and pushes one side forward. The gates bound together with a large chain link but there is just enough give to open up a space of about a foot or so. “I’ll climb over but you will fit through here.”
“What! Are you crazy? This is breaking and entering. We can go to jail!” He has to be kidding me. I’m not going in there. There is very clearly a sign right here that says “NO TRESPASSING.” Javier has already started ascending the gate and when he makes it to the top he just leaps to the floor instead of climbing down. He stops a second and takes a deep breath. A strange look crosses his features but it’s gone just as quickly as it arrived.
“What are you? Spiderman?” I joke.
He laughs at me and pulls my hand through the opening of the gate from the other side. I plant my feet and don’t go through.
“Oh come on! Live a little.” He’s breathing hard but doesn’t stop pulling my hand. “No one is going to find us. And if they do, what’s the worst that can happen?” he pulls once more and uses those big, brown eyes against me again.
“You better post my bail!” I reluctantly squeeze through the gate. And we walk together past the hangars to what once was the airport runway.
Once there I immediately notice the lights in the sky. Bright white and blue lights, swirling, and dancing and racing through the darkness. It’s hypnotizing and mysterious but it’s beautiful. I’ve never seen anything like it.
“What is that?” I ask intrigued.
“They are drones. This group of guys equip their drones with these special LED lights and then fly them out here at night. Come on, let’s watch.” We sit down together and I scoot in as close as I can to him. It’s cold out here, even with his sweater on and I’m trying to get every ounce of body heat from him that I can. He scoops me up effortless and sets me in his lap. I snuggle into him and I enjoy the warmth and safety of his arms. He kisses me soft and slow and I melt into him. I love his lips, I love the way he kisses me with so much desire and we stay like that, lip locked until flashes of light illuminate the night sky and draw back our attention.
“I could stay like this with you forever” he says to me and it’s so unexpected and so sweet and exactly what I had been thinking. I smile but I don’t know what to say back to him so I just nestle back in his lap and we continue to watch the show. We watch for about twenty minutes or so until we decide it’s time we make our way back. He kisses me again when we reach our cars and I wish I could stay and never have to leave.
“Goodnight Aby. Please call me when you get home okay.” I agree to call him to let him know I’m safe and he kisses me one last time. I drive home in a daze. Tonight was picture-perfect.
~*~*~*~*~
Over the next few weeks we’re inseparable. We have spent every moment outside of work together. I love being with him. We can talk for hours on end and never run out of things to say. I think that I’m falling for him. I feel this great dependence for him taking root in my soul and it scares the living hell out of me. I have never wanted something so badly. I don’t want to feel that way but I can’t help it. I certainly don’t want to end what we have. I
want to cherish every single moment and hold on for as long as I can. If there is one thing I know, it’s that nothing lasts forever. I just don’t want to think about that just yet.
I find myself becoming stronger and stronger. I’m holding my head up high, I’m looking people straight in the eye. I’m making decisions based on what I feel inside not just what I think. Javier tells me sometimes your heart and mind just don’t agree. He’s all for following your heart when your mind can’t decide. I’m starting to agree with him. The last few weeks have gone by like a whirlwind. I have never been happier. He filled out a volunteer application for the hospital too and we have been going a couple evenings a week for about an hour or so to read. I love every minute of it. I think he mostly does it for me though. When I’m happy he is happy. He’s told me so at least a dozen times already.
I can’t say that Javier shares my passion for volunteering at the animal shelter, but he’s come with me a few times anyway. He says that my compassion for all living beings is sexy. That makes me laugh. But then again, with him I’m always laughing. He says the most random things sometimes. On the contrary, sometimes he says things that are so wise and so fervent I could swear he stole the lines from a book. I feel like he is wise beyond his years, he sees life so differently than I do but I notice my perspective is changing. I’m changing and for the better.
We’ve made it our mission to visit the meadow every Sunday. It’s now our favorite place together. Javier said that the place was amazing before, but the magic I tell him I feel there, he says came with me. Javier said that he can’t ever come back here without me because it will never be the same. I can’t imagine this place without him either.
JAVIER
HILARIOUS
10.
That first night she came to my place was one of my best times with her. What the heck was she doing? I watched her drive by my house like a dozen times then finally park down the block. She is hilarious. I knew it was wrong but I had to call her out on it. She’s adorable when she blushes. But joke was on me because she looked smoking and all the jokes I had planned went right out the window. Probably for the best because she seems the type that slaps.
My time with her has been flying by fast. I enjoy every minute I spend with her. She's so selfless and caring and she never ceases to surprise me. She is getting bolder and braver. Damn she’s amazing. I wish this could last forever. Everything ends.
To me it’s nothing
11.
I wake up early one Saturday morning to meet Javier. He says he has something he wants to show me. He says that a lot, but I’m never disappointed. I’ve experienced so much with him in just a few short weeks. He tells me to dress comfortably, wear tennis shoes and bring a sweater. I have no idea where we are going but as usual I’m excited and a little nervous. I arrive at his place and Javier is waiting outside for me looking casual and beautiful as always. He’s got his arms crossed and is leaning on the door frame which has quickly become his signature stance. As I park he travels down the steps and meets me at my door, opening it and taking my hand to help me out. I don’t actually need the help but I’m not about to turn it down.
“Hi, beautiful.” He says as he kisses me sweetly on the lips. “Do you need to go in for anything? Need to use the restroom before we leave?” he throws a thumb over his shoulder pointing towards the doorway.
“Nope, I’m good.” I smile and lock my door. Javier runs back up to lock the front door and then comes back and meets me at his car.
We drive only a few minutes to the very next town and he parks in the parking lot of a high school.
“Come on.” He says and together we walk towards the school’s gymnasium. Once inside it’s bustling with people and there are several tables set up full of food and others with water and juices. Javier says hi to a few people and introduces me in passing but I still don’t know what we are here for.
“The last Saturday of every month all these people here bring food to distribute to the needy. My buddy Chris' parents started doing this about 10 years and its continued every month since." He says. "Some of them buy it out of their own pockets, others hold drives and get donations from their families, friends and co-workers and some own their own stores and donate items before they can no longer be shelved.”
He grabs a large cart and begins walking towards the doors we entered. We walk out to the parking lot and stop at the trunk of Javier’s car. When he opens it, it’s nearly over flowing with boxes of canned foods, breads, beans, pastas, fresh fruits and vegetables. I’m floored, but this man is incredible and has such a big heart that it really shouldn't surprise me.
“Where did you get all of this?” I ask him.
“I collect it throughout the month. Whenever I go to the store, whenever I see a sale. I grab extra items and save them for this day. The fruits and veggies came from my neighbor this time, she grew them in her garden. Hey you know you have the perfect space for one."
"For what? A garden?" I ask picturing my sad little yard.
"Yeah, it’s perfect" he says taking the last of the items out of the trunk.
We finish loading the cart and begin walking back to the gym.
Together we set out the food at their prospective tables. I learn they are all in a particular order. Grains on one table, vegetables on another, canned items on a different table and so on. It takes about a half hour for everything to be set up and then the front door of the gymnasium is opened. Javier and I had come through the back so I’m stunned when I see the line of people of people waiting out front.
“What should I do to help?" I ask Javier eagerly. This is exciting to me and I can’t wait to lend a hand.
“Watch.” He says and points at a chair off to the side of the gym.
“You want me to sit down and watch? Seriously?” I ask him.
“If you are working, you’ll be distracted... And, if you’re distracted you can’t really see. And, if you can’t see...you miss all the extraordinary things that are happening around you. Sit down and watch. You will be amazed what you see when you really look” He says to me. His short speech throws me off a little but I sit anyway. I take a seat in the chair as Javier instructed and watch for the next two hours.
So many people come and go. There are so many faces, and so many stories. And so many times we never stop to notice. But my eyes were open, this time I saw. I saw the old lady with the knitted hat, wipe her tears as she filled her grocery bag. I saw the little boy with the Spiderman shoes take one box of cookies and then secretly throw another in his mom’s bag. I saw the young mother in her tattered old jacket peel a banana and feed little, smashed pieces to the baby she carried. I saw the old man with the old wooden cane tear pieces of bread and feed them to his dog. It really was a wonderful feeling to see how this act of kindness affected others.
Javier was right as usual, if you slow down and open our eyes, there are extraordinary things all around you. We live in an amazing place but often times we are too busy to notice it.
“Wow! You guys got rid of it all” I say as I look around the now barren gym. Javier and a couple others stayed to clean. They rotate schedules every month so that it is fair for everybody. They had 176 people in there today and every single one them was grateful and in need. I loved that Javier took time out of his busy schedule to do this. Everyday he’s more incredible then the last.
“Yeah, I’m just glad we had enough. To me it’s nothing, but to them it’s everything. I would hate to have to turn somebody away if we had run out.” He says as he leans over the table and braces himself on his forearms. He takes a couple deep breaths and his eyes are shut tightly.
“Are you okay?” I ask concerned with how he’s hunched over.
He gets up quickly and tosses the paper towels he just used to clean the table in the trashcan. “I’m fine. Ready muñeca?” He asks and I nod as we walk out of the gym. It only took a few hours to distribute the food and it’s still early in the day. Javier has one more surp
rise in store for me and he won’t tell me where we are going.
We arrive at Lions Park which is in a part of town I don’t often go to. I turn and look at him strangely.
“You will survive, I promise.” He says clearly mocking me. I grab his hand and we walk down a grassy null to the underside of a small bridge that connects both sides of the park. There is no water down here, I doubt there ever was, and it was probably just more for looks back in the day when it had been built. Now, not even grass grows here because of the constant foot traffic from kids down here and I’m sure bikes and scooters that ride through here as well.
Under the bridge is a ton of graffiti and I feel uneasy down here. I can only imagine dumb little gang-banging kids come here to hang out or cause trouble and I feel out of my comfort zone. I want to leave and pull slightly on Javier’s arm to get his attention.
“Aby, relax. Don’t you trust me by now? I wouldn’t let anything happen to you.” I know that and I do trust him so I tell myself to just relax and be open to new things. He points up above me and at first all I see is bright, random, streaks of color but as I look a second longer I can see past those streaks of color. The picture comes into view. It’s a large mural painted on the ceiling of the bridge. It’s of a pregnant woman with tears streaming down her face. She’s reaching her hand out towards the ocean and far in the distance is a small white ship. The picture says a thousand words and I want to know the story behind the artist. I take a better look now of everything I see and I notice that while there is a lot of spray painted words the heart of this mural is untouched. No one has spray painted over it. I begin to read the words now and all of them are rest in peace wishes for those that have died. Names, dates and times of people that have passed on and well wishes to those who have survived. This entire area is a shrine, a place of worship, a place to grieve, a place to forgive, a place to heal. And the graffiti suddenly has turned to art. And the art is beautiful. We spend some time together reading the wall. There are memorials for mothers and children and brothers and fathers. Javier reaches into his pocket and hands me a marker. It’s not spray paint but it will do.