by J. Desails
“Well in his defense, he didn’t know that I knew. But I am pretty sure your mom had an idea too. Jess has been requesting pies from your mother every other day, and complaining of nausea.” He pulled me in tighter.
“Are you mad?”
“No, I am proud that he is being a man about it, although now that I know he ran to his sister for help I’m not so sure I should give him all the credit for having the balls.”
“I’m glad he came to me Dad, it’s the first time he has ever come to me for anything. I was just thinking at his graduation how we really didn’t have a relationship. How I wanted so badly for him to need me. I didn’t necessarily want it to be for this reason, but I am happy for him.”
“Baby girl, there comes a time in every ones life where we come back to family. We don’t think we ever need them so they sit in the back of our minds, but the second that we need something, whether it be comfort from fear, or even to share happiness they are the first ones we share it with.”
I smiled and looked over to Jer. He was my family, how could I have just let him slip away so easily.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Mom insisted that everyone stay for dinner. She always cooks when she is worried, lucky for Jess.
I still hadn’t said much to Jer, he came and sat next to me in the living room and whispered into my ear “Come stay the night with me, I need to tell you something.”
Without even thinking I shook my head. Why had I just agreed to this? I had no idea what he needed to say to me, but I felt like I owed it to him to at least listen.
I spent the rest of the evening showing my Mom some of the pictures I had saved on my phone of Ella; my mother was much less forgiving of Lauren than I was.
She asked me when I thought Bo and I would get married, right in front of Jer making the entire situation ten times more awkward than it already was. I guess she just assumed that I still informed him of everything. I failed to mention that I had overheard him on the phone with my father a week ago asking him for his permission.
I looked over at Jer and saw his face was rigid. He was trying his hardest to show no emotion but I saw right through it all. I wondered if he was inviting me over to tell me something about Melissa, maybe that he was also planning on marrying her. I assumed they were still together, but it just dawned on me that I also never asked.
Well I guess I technically can't say that I forgot, I had been wanting to ask him since the second I saw him in the club, but my heart wasn’t ready to hear the answer.
I was helping Mama clean up the dishes in the kitchen and told her I would be staying over with Jer tonight.
“Well just behave yourself, you’re about to be a married woman….whoops let it slip.” I guess if I weren’t as nosy as her I would have been surprised by that “accidental” slip up.
“I’ve got it under control mom, its just Jer.”
“Right. That’s why I am concerned. Well, I will see you first thing in the morning.” She said it as if I was fifteen years old again and had a curfew.
I hugged everyone goodbye, including Red who was now accompanied by Jess. Figures she shows up after the dirty work has been done.
I went to get in the car and Jer opened the door for me. I didn’t say a word, because I honestly had no idea where to start. I had just planned on letting him spill his news and get on with our lives.
As soon as we pulled up to his house he turned to me. “Are you going to marry him?”
“That’s not what you asked me here for is it?”
“No.”
“Then I am not giving you that answer.”
I grabbed my bag and walked right into his house, declaring that I was sleeping in the bed tonight, by myself. He put his hands up in surrender. He knew after last time he didn’t even have a shot winning this battle.
I felt him coming up behind me and without turning around I told him “Jer I have not had a shower, whatever it is you need to tell me I have a feeling I am going to need comfy clothes and no make up.”
“You’re probably right.” He turned and left the room.
I took my bag into his bathroom, and felt the need to go through all the drawers, quickly obviously. I found nothing and moved on. I laid out my clothes and undressed, pausing before I reached the shower. I stared into the steaming water as if the night we had was painted on the walls. I had to place my hands on the wall, when I heard his voice.
“Just breathe.” I saw that the door was shut, and I knew that he was sitting on the other side. I felt the wave of tears streaming down my face and I slowly took a deep breath and got in the shower. I rubbed my hand over the tattoo on my side, and said it out loud lowly just breathe.
I knew he had no idea about the tattoo; I got it three weeks after we stopped talking, and convinced myself it was the only way for me to get through each day. Bo loved it and didn’t ask any questions about the reasoning behind it. I closed my eyes and tried to shut out the memories that were flooding me.
Finally, after what seemed like an hour, and possibly could have been since the water was now cold I had gained enough strength to face whatever he needed to tell me on the other side of the door.
I looked at my phone and saw a text from Bo, I opened it and saw a picture of he and Ella miss you! I quickly typed a response and my heart felt heavy, and guilty. I knew it would crush Bo if he were aware of where I was, even though he didn’t know the whole story of what happened here.
I pulled myself together, put on my big girl pants, well sweat pants and slowly opened the door. I saw Jer next to the bed taking his watch off and sliding it into the drawer. My eyes were fixated on his amazing body, was it even possible that he could look better than he had six months ago? I noticed that his sleeve was completed, and his abs couldn’t possibly be more chiseled. He let out a half smile and I could see the small gap between his teeth. He was always so self-conscious about it, as if everyone in the world stared at it. Little did he know, no one else noticed except for me.
Finally my eyes made it to his. He stared right into me, and I wanted to forgive him for everything that happened. My heart almost forgot everything that he said. His phone rang, pulling me back into reality.
“ I have to take this, I’ll be right back.” I nodded and jumped in the bed. I began texting Jane, when he stepped back into the room.
“May I?” He looked next to me, asking permission to get in the bed with me.
“On the outside of the covers.” He let out a chuckle and slid on the bed.
“What is it Jer?”
“Melissa and I broke up.” Seriously? This is why I am sleeping in his bed tonight.
“I’m sorry?” I knew he could tell how confused I looked.
“I just wanted you to know, that she wasn’t the one.”
I lay further into the bed, not knowing which direction this conversation was going in, or where I wanted it to go for that matter. I was with Bo now, I was content, I was over Jer. Or was I? He still had no shirt on and was only wearing jeans, I wanted so badly to reach over and place my hand on his stomach, or lay my head on his chest.
After another minute of neither of us saying anything, I saw he was getting frustrated and got up and walked to the porch. I heard the door slam shut and against my mind's better judgment I jumped out of bed and followed him.
“What the hell?” I threw my hands up in the air. “Why in the hell did you bring me all the way over here to tell me that she wasn’t the one? I already knew that!”
“Did you? Did you really already know that? You have no idea what is going on in my life, your Mom said you never ask about me, Jane says you’ve sworn her to secrecy. For all you know I could have been married with a kid on the way by now.”
I could tell he was getting frustrated.
“Just breathe.” I placed my hand on his chest and he put his hand over top mine. I pressed my forehead into his chest, and felt his lips on my shoulder.
“Why aren’t you with her? Why isn’t sh
e the one?” I wanted honesty now more than ever.
“Because it’s you, and it always has been.” He let out a deep breath that I knew he had been holding in for far too long.
I looked up at him, the man that helped me become whom I am, and the man I had loved for years. Without thinking about Bo, or Ella, or myself for that matter I pressed my lips firmly to his.
I felt his hands wrap around me, and I felt his tongue graze my lips. I gently bit his bottom lip and pressed my hand on his stomach.
“You can't do that Iz, I won't be able to stop.”
“I wasn’t planning on stopping you.”
Jer picked me up and I wrapped my legs around him. He was walking us towards the bedroom; I pushed every logical thought from my mind. I’ve waited my whole life to be with this man, whether I knew it or not.
He gently laid me onto the bed, and kissed my forehead. He started pulling my shirt up and looked at me for approval. I nodded my head and started shaking with anticipation, as his hands brushed over my nipples. He pressed his lips into mine once again, and I never wanted to leave this moment.
“Iz, are you sure?” I nodded slowly.
I felt him pull my sweatpants off and throw them to the floor. “You are…. amazing.” He paused and kissed my cheek. “I love you.”
“I love you too Jer. Are you sure you’re ready?”
“Yes. I’ve been waiting for this moment forever.” With that I felt Jer slowly enter me for the first time. I felt years of emotions and passion pouring out, as I felt myself pulsating around him.
I grabbed the sheets around us, and watched him as his mouth moved all over my body. It was like he wanted to be personal with every inch of me, but simultaneously stay inside of me. I tried comparing him to every man I had ever been with, but there was no comparison. It felt like everything was starting to make sense.
I pulled his face into mine and started at his ice blue eyes as he was thrusting in and out of me. I felt it more with every entry.
“Slow down.” I could barely speak the words.
“Why baby?” he whispered as he bit my earlobe gently.
“I’m going to….” I felt him move faster and saw that he was on his way too. I looked up at him as he bit his own lip and close his eyes. He let out a small groan, and it filled me with satisfaction.
He tucked his head into my neck and his breath caused my body to break out in chills. He slipped his tongue onto my neck, begging for more but my body wouldn’t allow it. I was in complete shock.
It wasn’t long before I was falling asleep with Jer wrapped his arms around me. They were twice the size as the last time he held me.
In the moments just before I reached a deep sleep I heard him whisper into my hair.
“Why didn’t we do this sooner?” I asked myself the same question.
The next morning I woke up to him still sound asleep, the sunlight woke me sneaking in through the blinds. I rolled over and began studying all of the tattoos he had acquired in the months we had been apart. I traced them on his arm, and I stopped when I came across the one on his side, in almost the identical spot as mine just breathe.
“Hey you.” He threw his arms around me.
“You know it's true what they say, great minds think alike.”
“Oh, and why is that my love?” I got butterflies the moment he called me my love.
I turned and raise my arm exposing my tattoo. He put his hand on it, almost in disbelief.
“Really?” I leaned over and kissed him again. “I don’t think I could ever get sick of kissing you.”
“I don’t think I ever want you to get sick of kissing me.”
“Jer, why did you act like that before I left? You were so…so hateful.”
“Um, Iz about that. I haven’t really told you all of the story.”
Just as I thought he was about to put all those broken pieces back together that I left on the floor here six months ago, my brother walked in.
“Izabella???” I pressed a quick kiss to his lips, and knew I was going to have to be patient. “In here.” I let out an annoyed huff.
“Oh great, well Mom sent me over to get you, apparently she has a ton planned for the two of you today, and thank God you are here to keep all the focus off of me.” I threw a pillow at him, of course she sent him over to get me.
“Alright, give me a few minutes to get my shit together.” He walked out into the living room and I ran my hand over my tattoo one more time, as I peeked into the bathroom, I watched as Jer brushed his teeth. He was wearing nothing but a towel and I was tempted to go in and hide for the rest of the day.
I knew it wouldn’t take long for my mother to find me, so instead I just told him I would catch up with him later today. He tried to tell me something through the brushing, but hearing my little brother calling my name, I knew I didn’t have much time before he came back in.
Chapter Twenty-Three
My Mother was going on and on about how she is giving him two months to get his shit together before she steps in. I don’t blame her, and I think it’s great parenting to let him fret a little bit about what he was going to do to support his family.
Jess started waiting tables, and I knew Red had given up his hopes on College. I just didn’t know what he was going to do in the meantime to support her. Mom told me that he assured her he had something figured out, but wasn’t ready to share his master plan just yet.
“So how was it over there last night?” She asked and winked at me. Which made things awkward, and confusing.
“Nothing happened, we just talked.” I felt my cheeks getting red and I knew that she could tell. Thankfully, she didn’t press the issue any.
“You know I’m not stupid. I know that you guys haven’t spoken since you left here.” I knew that she was too good to miss that one.
“Oh really? And how is it that you are so sure.”
“Because I know you would have called me when you found out.”
“Found out what Mother?” And this is where I knew my Mom all too well; if she did know something she wasn’t about to hand it over to me. So as predicted she changed the subject, and we wound up at Babies r Us.
I knew that she was always passive aggressive, but I didn’t realize how much so until today. I knew that I wanted to hear whatever it was from Jer anyway so I decided just to wait it out. I mean how bad could it be? I didn’t see a wife and kid at his house last night.
Mom asked me if I had brought clothes for tonight, we were going to a celebration at Unc’s. I am sure that Jane put something half way decent inside, and I know even if she didn’t I would have to drive at least an hour away to find something acceptable.
I assumed that it was a celebration for Red and Jess, considering how my Mom was suddenly over the moon about becoming a grandma.
Finally we were back at the house and I was getting ready when Bo called. I was actually surprised that this was the first time he had called today. Without hesitation I answered.
We didn’t say much, and I got to talk to Ella for a few minutes. He asked when I was coming home and I promised by the end of the week. He told me that he had my entire schedule rearranged but I would have to be back on Monday. I told him I loved him, because I was sure that I did. I just wasn’t sure if it would ever be enough.
“Are you ready?” Mom peeked her head in the door. All I had that was halfway decent was a plain button down, and a pair of skinny jeans, so I just made it work. She could tell I was a little frustrated with my outfit selection. “It’s just Uncs. You have five minutes to meet us out front.”
I threw on some blush and nude lip-gloss, and started for the door. When we pulled up I saw Jer’s truck out back and instantly got excited. Mom and Dad walked in and I tried to peak my head out back to see if he was outside. He wasn’t, but Melissa was.
Any color I had left on my skin vanished. I felt like I was going to be sick, and had déjà vu from six months ago. I couldn’t believe that I fell for his shit again.
She disappeared into the bar, and as badly as I wanted to cry, to break down and just leave the old Jer wouldn’t have let me.
I stepped into the bar and saw a huge Welcome Home sign. I was so confused and looked around to see any faces that I would have recognized from the past. I saw Jer by the bar he got up and ran over to me throwing his arms around me and pressing his lips to mine.
“Hey Baby. What are you doing here?” I still wasn’t sure why I was here. I was hoping he wouldn’t be kissing me in public, since I still didn’t know where we stand, and when he did I took note that Melissa had witnessed everything.
“Um Mom brought me, I thought it was a celebration for Red and Jess.” I saw a look of worry on his face.
“You mean she didn’t tell you why she brought you?”
“Obviously not, care to fill me in.” Before he could open his mouth three guys came in the door and started yelling his name.
I heard the muffle of it’s been forever, how are you holding up, you look badass. I looked at him and tilted my head to the side. I saw the chain around his neck and felt a lump in my throat. He looked over at me, and I turned to get some air.
I knew he saw me take off, and I was pretty sure that he knew I figured it out.
I was hyperventilating, how could he. I felt my knees begin to give out so I went to the side of the bar and bent down.
“Iz, baby. I’m sorry I’ve been trying to tell you.”
“How long?” He put his arms around me, which was pretty ballsy on his part.
“I left for training a week after you left here.”
I looked directly into his eyes because for this next part I wanted to be sure he was telling me the truth.
“How long before that did you sign your contract?”
“Uh…um three months.”
“Are you fucking kidding me Jer? You’ve had 9 fucking months to tell me this, we were best friends, I told you everything.”
“Iz, I tried to tell you when I came to New York, then the whole Bo thing happened.”
“Is that why you really broke up with Melissa? Because you were leaving?”