by J. Desails
“I’m assuming you mean how did I get here? As in New York?” He was also rambling which I knew meant he was nervous. I had always pictured everything about him feeling foreign when I saw him again, but it was all the same. He somehow had gotten more attractive, but he was the same.
“So I’m assuming Bo didn’t fill you in on my visit here when you were in The Keys?” He picked up my hand.
“What are you talking about?” I was getting more of those pieces.
“Iz, I came for you. I fought for you. After getting your letter that morning, I knew you needed space. I knew that you needed to just breathe. So I gave it a week, and then I came here. I came for you.” He looked down at my hand and saw the engagement ring, and let go.
“When I got to your place, Bo welcomed me in, which I should have taken as the first clue. He obviously didn’t know anything about what happened, but he did when I left. He told me…..He told me.” I could hear the hurt in his voice.
“He told me you came back and accepted his proposal. Iz, I left that day with my heart shattered across your floor.”
“We weren’t engaged, not then anyway.” I was being very direct, because I didn’t know what else to do.
“I know that now, thanks to Jane. I’ve been in my own hell for 7 months.”
“I didn’t think you came after me.”
“It shouldn’t have even been a thought!” He was pissed now.
“I fucking loved you more than I ever loved anyone in my life and you didn’t even wait a fucking month to get engaged to that bag of douche.” Jer was emotional; I could feel it in his voice.
“Jer. I have so much to say to you, and I don’t even know where to start.” I rubbed my face with my hands, and I could see him flinch at the sight of my ring. I flipped the diamond around so only the thin band was showing.
“What you felt for me? What you said that night, what happened between us was it real?” I felt angry with myself for making him question that.
“Jer, it was as real as it gets. I almost thought that I had imagined everything, then today just by touching me it all came back.”
“I feel it too.” He reached for my hands again. I felt bad for being so angry with Jane.
“Jane called me because she said I couldn’t let you go through with it. She couldn’t let you marry him. She told me about the keys, and how you were devastated that I didn’t call you or come after you. The reason I didn’t call was because I thought you were already engaged to him. I thought you had already given up on me. And you didn’t call me either, I should add!”
His emotions were teetering back and forth between happiness, sadness, and anger. I felt the same way.
“I guess we are both just stubborn as hell.” Thank god for Jane. My first stop after this was to her; the second was to kill Bo for pushing Jer away.
Now that I am sitting across from him, I knew I had many choices to make. The first was to take off my ring, so I did so right in front of Jer. As far as I was concerned, I did not belong to Bo and I was pretty sure I never did.
“So where does this leave us?” I asked and stared right into those amazing blue eyes.
“I hope it leaves you with me. I know that you have a lot to deal with right now, I am staying at The Plaza, meet me there when you’re ready.” He slid the key over.
“I’m not going anywhere until you tell me to.”
I nodded and started to get up. He grabbed my hand and pulled me into him. I felt his muscular body under his shirt and I wanted to rip it right off of him. He pulled me in and his lips grazed mine. At first he was gentle, almost asking permission. I pushed all of my weight into him and let my tongue slipped into his mouth. He matched all of my moves, making it nearly impossible to pull apart from him.
“I love you.” He whispered into my ear, I could melt at the way his hand was cupping my jaw. I said it right back as he stared into my eyes. He is my home, and I almost forgot how homesick I was.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
I changed my mind; my first stop was to Bo. Without even showering I ran my ass right to his office. I didn’t care if I stank when I was telling him off. I had only been in his office one other time, and it was because he asked me to meet him there. I walked in to the receptionist, and she smiled warmly at me. She knew who I was.
“Oh I don’t think Mr. Bronson is expecting you, but he just got done a meeting, you have a few minutes until his next, go right in!”
“Thanks, it will only take a few minutes.” I walked right past her.
I opened the door and saw him relaxing in his chair with his legs up on the desk. It made me feel even more ready to tell him off.
“Baby, what a nice surprise. You know I always wanted to fuck you on my desk!” Ugh. I couldn’t even stand the thought of him at the moment.
“Shut your fucking mouth Robert.” I never, ever called him by his real name and I could see how uncomfortable it made him.
“I like it when you talk dirty baby, but you know I hate my real name.”
“You’re right I do know that, which is exactly why I used it. How about you tell me why I’m here right now!”
“Ummmm I’m not sure.” He was trying to play it cool, and I was not in the mood for it.
“I want my shit packed and ready for me to pick up on Friday.” I slid the ring on his desk and he still looked confused. So I bent over and stared him in the eyes
“Jer.”
All the color washed out of his face. He didn’t say anything and I didn’t expect him to. I knew that he could tell how devastated I was the week that I came home, and I couldn’t believe how selfish he was to send Jer away like that.
I was never one to storm out of a room, but I felt that I was rather successful at this one. Just when I had reached the elevator I heard his voice from behind me.
“I’m not going to make a scene in my office, but I did this for you!”
I turned around, knowing that I had never been so angry in my life.
“How dare you say that to me? You knew that I loved him, and if you didn’t know that you knew that he was my best friend, and you stripped me of that! I will never forgive you for that. EVER!”
“Well maybe you should ask Jer what really happened between he and Melissa, then you’ll be begging me to accept your forgiveness.”
The elevator opened at that moment, thank God and I left.
I was literally a mess. Still no shower, I sent my assistant to get some clothes from Bo’s apartment. Sitting on Jane’s couch with ice cream sounded like the best place for me to be right now. I wasn’t ready to see Jer yet, mostly because I wasn’t showered but partially because of what Bo said.
After a million apologies from me, Jane finally told me to shut up.
“Well let's get to the bottom of this Melissa story. What would Bo know that you wouldn’t?”
“I don’t know that’s the problem. I mean I could just call Jer and I am sure he would tell me, but am I ready for whatever it is? Bo made it seem horrendous.”
“Well Bo is also an asshole.” Valid point Jane.
So tonight it’s just me Jane, her little nugget and Ben and Jerry for me. Two of my favorite men, they never complain or ask questions, and I just pour out my soul to them.
After showering and falling asleep watching reruns of I love Lucy, I was woken up by fumbling at the door. At first it scared the shit out of me, but once I rolled over to see Jane sleeping alone in her bed I knew who it was.
I quietly opened the door and saw Todd, with his arm wrapped around the broad shoulders of Bo. It was one of those moments where I wasn’t sure if I was dreaming, so I took a step back and tried to wipe the sleep from my eyes.
I heard Bo whispering to Todd, who was clearly smashed.
“Is this where I drop off lost and found items.” Bo chuckled.
“Shut up, or you will wake up Jane.” I looked at Todd, and instantly felt hurt for Jane. She didn’t deserve this, and I knew this wasn’t a rare occurren
ce. Todd looked too seasoned, and it became evident that this was a nightly routine.
I looked at Todd in the eye, “Get your ass in the shower. NOW.” I think it was the first time I spoke to him like this, and he looked a little scared.
He stood straight up and saluted me as he walked into the bathroom. Bo tried to come in right behind him. I shoved my arm in front of him.
“Absolutely not.”
“Come on baby, you know you’ll be back in my arms in a matter of days why waste time?”
“And why exactly would I be back in your arms Bo?” I could tell by his speech he was also feeling a little more than buzzed.
“Because you are going to find out that Jer got Melissa pregnant!” he finished with a hiccup. I wasn’t sure if this was a story or factual, and how Bo would even know this information. I knew that I had based too many of my decisions on what Bo had shared, or decided not to share with me so I tried not to get my emotions involved at all.
“Bo you are drunk, I will call you a cab.” I started to close the door.
“Ask him Bells, she’s about due around the time of your God Daughter. How ironic?”
“That’s it Bo. Get the fuck out now, or I will call the police.”
With that empty threat, Bo turned and left. I went to check on Todd who seemed to be sobering up.
I cracked the door open, feeling slightly overwhelmed.
“Todd….”
“Yeahhhhh?”
“Please don’t break her heart.”
“Roger that.”
I didn’t want to be in the apartment when Todd came out, in case I decided to become verbal with him. I was irritated that he thought he could just come and go as he pleased without taking care of the mother of his child.
I started to ponder the chances of Jer being a father to Melissa’s baby. Would I be able to stay with him? Just when I accepted the fact that I would move anywhere in the world for him, I was possibly thrown another obstacle.
I think as women, we sometimes push ourselves to the limit if we want something so bad. The pair of jeans that are just one size too small, or the pair of shoes that may max out our credit cards. We know that there are things we shouldn’t have, because they will make our lives more difficult, but we choose them anyway.
This is the only explanation that I see for Jane and Todd’s relationship. She knows he probably isn’t good for her; in fact realistically he is probably the worst for her right now. But she chooses him, because she wants it too bad.
As I found myself walking on the streets of New York, at 4 am with my Plaza key in hand, I wondered what I was going to choose. How much would be too much?
Chapter Thirty
I pushed the door open slowly. I was amazed at how beautiful the room was. I saw him sound asleep in the bed, and I almost questioned if I wanted to wake him.
I took everything off except for my bra and panties, I knew that I hadn’t decided if I would stay, but I knew I wasn’t leaving without being with him, even if it would be our last time.
I climbed in the bed and faced him. He looked so peaceful; I almost wanted to just sleep right beside him. I wanted to wake up in his arms, and pretend that we never left each other’s side.
He slowly opened his eyes. “Iz?” It wasn’t so much a question as it was a statement.
I nodded slowly and he pulled me into him. Without asking him any questions or ruining the moment, I fell into a deep kiss.
I felt his hands feverishly trying to find the clasp on my bra, I felt the smile in his kiss when he was successful. He placed his hands all over me, without moving his lips away.
Finally breaking apart he leaned into my ear and whispered I Love You. I wanted him so badly I couldn’t wait. I pulled the covers over my head, and went down on him.
I could hear his gentle moans encouraging me to go faster. I followed his cues, and enjoyed feeling him pulsate in my mouth.
“Baby, you have to stop or I’m going to….”
I felt him pull me up and I stared into his eyes, this man was my forever.
“Is it ok? I don’t have any condoms.” I nodded my head and felt him ease inside of me. It sent sparks through my body, and I instantly felt my body shaking from the sensation.
“What are you doing to me?” I asked in his ear, barely able to speak at all. He flipped me over in one fluid motion, and whispered back.
“I’m making you mine.” I laid on my back staring up at him, taking in everything about him. His ice blue eyes, I rubbed my hands along his chest and then across his abs. I finally reached both hands behind and grabbed his ass.
“I’m going to cum baby….where?”
I felt my climax coming, and couldn’t speak so I just nodded.
“Are you sure?”
“Yesssss!” I felt myself exploding on him. I grabbed a pillow to muffle the sounds of my screams, and I felt his whole body tighten, and then become limp on top of me.
I kissed him on the forehead still unable to even speak.
I had no idea it was even possible to feel this way. I was in such a euphoric state, and felt like no matter what situation we found ourselves in; I needed to be with him.
“If I ask you something, will you promise not to run?” As he said the words I knew he could feel my body tighten under his hands. He was going to tell me that Melissa we pregnant.
“I promise you.” I had myself convinced that I could love him through it.
He looked so nervous, so I place my hands on either side of his face and pull him into another kiss. Finally he pulled away, “I’ll be right back. Close your eyes”
I did as he said, and closed my eyes. I couldn’t believe it was 4 am and I was naked, in a hotel room with Jer. My whole world changed in a matter of 24 hours.
“Don’t peek.”
“Ok. I won't.”
I felt his lips caress my hipbones, and travel up my stomach. In between kisses he would say a word or two.
“Iz, you are my everything.” Another kiss, this one just below my breast and I felt myself getting excited all over again.
“If there is one thing I know for sure…” and his mouth was on my breasts, causing a quick exhale, and almost a squeal.
“Its that I need you to be mine.” I felt his lips on my neck.
“Forever.” Finally on my lips.
“You can open your eyes.” As I opened my eyes I looked at Jer who was lying next to me, with a diamond ring in his hand.
“I know that a lot has happened in the past 6 months, but you still know me better than anyone. I can’t stand one more minute of you not being mine. Will you marry me?”
“I have a question for you. How long have you had that ring?”
“I brought it with me when I came to get you, I was going to ask you six months ago, but someone beat me to the punch.”
He grabbed my hand and placed the ring on my finger. When I looked down at it, for the first time really I felt the tears stream down my face.
“Are you sure you want to give me this ring?” I knew that his mother had this ring since she was a teenager herself, a family heirloom that had been handed down for generations.
“When I asked my mom for the ring, she told me she always knew it belonged to you.”
“I can’t take this ring. Not right now.”
I saw the shock in his eyes, he was certain it was going to be a sure thing.
“I can’t wear your ring when I was just wearing someone else’s, I have too many questions and I am so sick of jumping into everything so fast.”
He hurried towards me and I put my hand up as I grabbed my clothes.
“Jer, just let me breathe.”
When morning came, I woke up in the most comfortable bed in Jer’s hotel. I was thankful I was alone; I looked over into the sitting room and saw him asleep on the couch. I needed a day alone to figure everything out, and waking up I also knew I couldn’t wait another minute to ask him about Melissa.
“Good morning babe. I�
�ve already called for room service.”
“Ah you know me so well! Pancake Sunday?”
“Of course, sorry I can't make them myself today.”
“I guess I will have to suck it up and deal with whatever the 5 star restaurant whips up.” I crossed my arms and he began laughing. I patted my hand on the bed next to me inviting him over.
“I need to ask you something.” He didn’t look like he was expecting this to come out of my mouth.
“Melissa is pregnant.” I said it as if it were gospel. He nodded his head.
“And it’s yours isn’t it?” He turned to face me. “Are you seriously asking me if I got Melissa pregnant and didn’t tell you already?”
“Well didn’t you? I mean who else would be the father.”
“First and foremost, thank you for accepting my proposal based on the fact that you thought I had knocked up some girl already. You must really love me.”
“Let me remind you that I did not accept your proposal.”
“I cannot tell you who the father is.”
“You don’t know?” I pulled away staring into his eyes.
“Oh I know, I just know you won’t be able to keep your mouth shut and right now is not the time.”
“ I can too keep my mouth shut!”
“Will you please just trust me, you need to just give it some time.”
“Jer, you are testing me!” I tried to sound irritated, but my euphoria was overcasting any other emotion within me.
“I know babe. Let's just have this day for us, to celebrate where we finally are, it took us six months of hell to get here.”
“Ok, but tomorrow you are telling me.”
“Fine.”
I spent half of my morning just lying next to Jer. I know we had a lot to iron out over the next few months, like if I was going to move to Virginia with him, or stay here for a while and commute. I’ve already thought about the drive, and it wouldn’t be horrible. I assumed he would be in constant training anyway.
I can’t believe that he actually joined the military. I thought for sure he would just tuck the dream to the back, file it away. I had no idea what his job entailed, and I had a feeling it was one of those jobs I would never know much about. I knew everything there was to know about him, and that first and foremost is that Jer is secretly Clark Kent, and I am sure that he will be doing nothing mediocre with his life.