Undeveloped (Life Unfiltered Book 1)

by K Leigh

  “You asked me if I ever get tired of you and your family,” Natalie says, backing out of the driveway and onto the main road. “But don’t you get tired of being with us all the time? You haven’t gone out in forever.”

  I wasn’t expecting such a serious conversation. If I had suspected the inquisition, I would have stayed home. Turning away from her, I stare out the window.

  “I had a few friends at school. You’ve met them.” It’s not a lie. I had several friends throughout high school that came and went for sleepovers or to get ready for school dances.

  “Yeah, but since you graduated, you haven’t seen them. I just want you to know it’s okay if you do. You don’t have to work on weddings all the time.” Natalie covers my hand with hers on the armrest between us. “You need to enjoy your youth.”

  The truth is, I feel out of place here in Branch Key. I’ve lived here my whole life, but the farm is the only place I truly feel like I belong. Our quaint town is a dream come true for most, but I find it mostly boring.

  “I’m not a kid anymore, Natalie,” I say.

  “I know, I know. Your parents should have sent you to camp,” Natalie mutters, checking both ways at a stop sign before crossing the intersection.

  “Camp?” Perking up at the word, my attention catches her interest.

  “Yes. Your dad and I always went to Shady Grove Summer Camp. So did Aunt Kate and Uncle Seth.” Natalie flicks her turn signal and pulls into the parking lot of the grocery store.

  “Yeah, Dad has told me about it. But you never talk about it.” Maybe if I feign interest in going to camp myself, she’ll open up about her own experiences.

  “I don’t even think about it anymore,” she says. “If you want, you could be a counselor, or work in the kitchen this summer. The kitchen isn’t bad.” Her voice catches, and she clears her throat as she puts the car into park.

  Unsure of how to respond, I grab the shopping list from the cupholder between us, engrossing myself in it right as her phone rings.

  “We don’t need much,” I say. “I’ll go!”

  I grab our groceries quickly, and when I get back to the car, Natalie is still on the phone. She has the Bluetooth on through the car and her best friend is talking a mile a minute about her kids.

  “Piper got a home run during her last softball game. Seth was so upset he had to miss it for work.”

  “Hey, Kate, Lia’s in the car now,” Natalie says, interrupting Kate’s rambling. “Just a fair warning.”

  A warning I appreciate all too much. I already know more information about Seth’s underwear than I ever wanted to, thanks to a phone call I accidentally jumped in on one day after school.

  “Okay, okay. I’m behaving for now,” Kate jokes, jumping back into her story.

  I tune the two of them out, rolling down the window and enjoying the fresh air flowing through my hair as we travel the winding roads back home.

  When we get home, Natalie runs off to make phone calls to the rental company we use when we need to bring in more tables or chairs, while I get busy carrying the groceries inside.

  “Need some help, Mom?” I ask, placing the last paper bag onto the counter.

  She turns to glance at me, wiping her hands on Grandma Mellie’s old apron. She always wears it when she’s cooking, claiming it helps add extra love to her recipes.

  “If you’d like, you can help with the dishes.”

  The pleading note in her tone doesn’t go unnoticed, and I make my way to the sink without argument. Mom has always taken care of the food for our weddings and events at Journey’s Farm, using mostly my grandma’s recipes. Grandma Mellie handwrote the recipes for Natalie and my mom, and sometimes when I help them cook, I trace the letters with my fingers, hoping a piece of her lived on in me.

  As I scrub the dishes, my mom continues working on the desserts for a bridal party that’s renting out the cabin for a night.

  “I appreciate your help, princess.” She shoots me a smile as she pours another cup of flour over her waxed paper. “I’ll miss all your help when you move away.”

  Ignoring her comment, I scrub the plate in my hands harder. “Did we get everything you needed today?”

  “You did. Thank you.” She leans over, watching my progress. “You can’t get it any cleaner than that, girl.”

  A burst of laughter fills the room when I glance over at her. Flour dots her nose and cheeks, and her bemused smile makes me laugh harder. She reaches into the sink, scooping up a handful of bubbles and smearing them on my face.

  “What in the world are you girls doing?” The screen door bangs behind my dad and he sets his briefcase on the table. “Oh, I see how it is. A fight without me. I guess I’ll have to take you both on.”

  As he loosens his tie, I glance at my mom and we nod in unison before attacking him with bubbles and flour simultaneously.

  Natalie

  Past

  Summer camp has always been my escape…

  Since I turned seven, I’d spent every June at Shady Grove Summer Camp. First as a camper, swimming in the lake and ziplining in the woods, and now, in the kitchen. The summers were a welcome reprieve from my duties as the preacher’s daughter. It’s no different as I enter adulthood. The closer I get to camp now, that sense of freedom is even more welcome.

  I love my hometown in some ways yet despise it in others. Branch Key, a town where everyone knows everything about everybody. Now they’re all gossiping and sympathetic about the fact that I broke up with the town’s golden boy before he went off to college. They don’t know the details but have automatically painted me as the villain.

  If they had known he had pressured me into sleeping with him the night before he left, would they have reacted differently? Doubtful. Or even worse, they’d say I shouldn’t have let myself get in the position where that was an expectation. Or, they would say that going to the make-out spot with him was as good as agreeing.

  I heard the whispers at my last church service. They muttered that the feminists had gotten to me, or that my daddy didn’t spank me enough as a child. They were the same people that gave me dewy smiles every Sunday morning as I’ve played the piano for them, watching them visit the altar and confess their sins, giving thanks to a God that doesn’t judge them. All along, they judge everyone else.

  Shady Grove Summer Camp finally comes into view, the sun reflecting off the lake.

  The four-hour drive from home always gives me time to reflect on the past year. This trip is different, though, because it’s my last one.

  My summers from here on out will be spent taking classes. I’m determined to get my degree and get started on my real life as a teacher sooner rather than later. While it’s always sad to leave my parents, I know they’ll have a great summer. They’ll enjoy their time together preparing for their first grandchild. Mom already has plans to dote all over Violet during her last trimester while Dad prepares the old cabin on our farm for her and Teddy to move into.

  My mom turns to face me from the passenger seat, interrupting my thoughts with her excited tone, “It’s hard to believe this is your last year!”

  “I know,” I reply, already feeling the wistfulness burrowing in my chest. “I’ll miss it, but I’m excited for a change, too. But this is my first summer here without Teddy.” A pang of missing my brother passes as quickly as it hits. I’m proud of the man he’s becoming and I know he has more important things to take care of this summer.

  “You guys will have a few weeks together before school starts,” my dad reassures me from behind the wheel. “And we have one last beach trip before he’s a father and you’re off to take on the world.”

  A short silence falls between us, but it doesn’t last long enough.

  “Natalie Rose,” Mama begins, her voice laced with the chastising tone she uses whenever she talks about Connor Tackett. “I know you and Connor are at odds.”

  That damn Natalie Rose business again. I don’t want to fight with my family before we part, so I
hold my tongue as she continues.

  “But maybe just write to him.” As she talks, I note her wringing her hands together in her lap. “Maybe see him once when he gets home. You might change your mind.”

  “I’ll think about it, Mom,” I concede in a clipped tone. She must catch my drift because she drops the subject as Dad pulls into the gravel lot, sliding his truck into park before hopping out to open my door. His warm palm covers my hand and I jump down to the ground, stepping into his open arms. His soft, cotton shirt rubs against my face. It reminds of the times I had skinned my knees or gotten splinters, and he’d hold me as I sniffled.

  “Have a great summer, Nat,” Dad whispers in my ear, “You forget Connor Tackett, if that’s what makes you happy. Forget what your mama, or me, or the whole town says. Follow your heart.”

  I nod in acknowledgement as he reaches over the bed of the truck to grab my suitcase. I climb up on the bed to grab the rest of my stuff, handing my bag of shoes over the side to Mama. Feet back on the ground, we’re ready to head to the check-in tent.

  Most of the staff is comprised of regulars that return every year. This camp is the perfect opportunity to make a few bucks and build your resumes for work or college. It also looks good for a prospective teacher, like me, to have the experience working with children.

  “Natalie!” Kate exclaims, running around the folding table to greet me with a hug. She steps back, looking me over. “You look amazing!”

  “It’s been one whole week since you saw me, Kate.” I laugh, tugging her red curls. “How was your grandma?”

  “She was fine. We had a great trip, but I’m glad it’s over.”

  Kate pulls my hair in return, but a lot harder than I tugged hers. While I have a bright shade of red hair, Kate leans more toward a brownish red, but when we were kids, we bonded over our similar hair colors. In our small elementary school, we were the only female redheads.

  “Missed you, Kate.” Grasping her hand, relief blooms in my belly. Here, I’m not Natalie Rose, church pianist and preacher’s daughter. I’m just Natalie, Kate’s quiet best friend that helps in the kitchen and laughs a little too loud during Charades.

  “Hey Mr. and Mrs. W.” Kate grabs my mom in a hug, shooting me an amused glance as my mom stiffens in her embrace. My mom loves Kate, but often remarks on her outgoing nature being a bit too much.

  “Hi, sweetheart.” Mom pats her a few times before stepping back to give her a once-over. “Texas looks great on you! Enjoy your visit?”

  “Yeah, but you know it’s always good to come home.”

  My dad nods at Kate in greeting as she turns to him, crossing his arms to deter any attempts she might make to hug him. “Nice to see you again, Kate.”

  “You too, Ned.” Without the option to hug, Kate isn’t sure what to do with herself. It’s amazing that they’re still so awkward with her after over a decade of her being my best friend.

  After a long pause, Kate tells my parents goodbye. “See you at the beach, guys!” She winks at me. “I’ll wait over here for you, Nat.”

  “Well, I guess this is it.” I turn back to my parents, torn between the excitement of a few weeks of freedom and the guilt that excitement brings.

  Mom hugs me first, her head resting on my shoulder for a moment, I’ve been taller than her since I started high school, but I still wouldn’t dare cross her. The comforting scent of fresh bread and cinnamon wash over me and I squeeze her a bit tighter.

  “Love you, Mama. I’ll write to you once a week,” I promise. I’ll only be gone six weeks, but I suppose for a parent, that’s an eternity. At least, that’s what she tells me year after year.

  “You better!” She pulls back, squeezing my shoulders with a smile.

  “Dad.” I clear my throat, giving my dad a warning glance as he watches me with wide, innocent eyes. “Don’t mow without Teddy there. You’ll get too hot, and you know we can’t have that.” I reprimand my father. “I know how you are.”

  “Yes, ma’am.” He salutes me with a wink. “Hold on, I got you something.” He reaches into the back of the truck, pulling out a plastic bag from the gas station. A peek inside reveals a pack of disposable cameras. “Oh, thank you, Dad.”

  He flushes. “It’s not much, but it’s tradition.”

  Every year before camp, he gives me a pack of three disposable cameras and I fill them with images of the lake, activities, dinner—whatever crosses my mind. I wouldn’t say I’m much of a photographer, but there’s something comforting about being behind the camera and orchestrating events, in a way.

  He wraps his arms around me, pressing a kiss to my temple. “Be safe. I’ll miss you, pumpkin.”

  “I love you,” I tell him.

  “We love you,” my parents echo as they load up to head back to Branch Key.

  Waving at the old Ford is bittersweet, but once it turns onto the road, the heaviness of expectation lifts from my shoulders and I release all my tension in a whooshing exhale before making my way to Kate at the table.

  “Here’s your name tag.” Kate slips the lanyard around my neck. “I’m with the Ladybugs this year.”

  “Eight-year-olds are better than the little ones,” I note. “Remember the Caterpillars last year?” We both shudder at the memory of chasing five- and six-year-olds all summer.

  “I’m here to relieve you, m’lady.” A familiar, booming voice rescues us from reliving the nightmare.

  Turning from the registration table, we’re met with the wide, silly smile of another camp counselor—and Kate’s boyfriend—Seth.

  Seth and Kate began dating long before Connor and me, and Seth is the opposite of Connor in most ways. He doesn’t care if anyone likes him. He’s good at sports but doesn’t play for the school because it would make playing less of a hobby and more of a “have to”. The boys have always gotten along for mine and Kate’s sake, but I know he’s probably relieved to be free of Connor’s constant presence in our life.

  “Oh, good!” Kate claps her hands together. “I can help you get your stuff to your cabin.” She blows Seth a kiss, which he catches and tucks into his pocket. Could they get any cheesier?

  “Thanks, Seth.” I nod as we pass the table and head up the path to the staff quarters, Kate dragging my bag of shoes and me rolling my suitcase along behind me.

  “Oh, word on the street is that there’s a new kitchen staff member this year.” Kate wiggles her eyebrows at me. “His family is on the camp board.”

  Rolling my eyes, I laugh off her suggestion. “I’m not ready for anything yet, Kate. I still don’t know how to feel about Connor.”

  She releases a continuous flow of expletives so foul, I gasp, looking around for children. “Nothing to figure out about that douchebag, Nat. He doesn’t deserve a second chance with you, no matter what anyone says.”

  “Easy for you to say.” Nudging the cabin door open with my elbow, I inhale the sweet smell of summer. Every year, the counselors clean their cabins thoroughly after the campers leave, then the camp hires a cleaning service to freshen everything up before we come back. The sweet smell of clean sheets greets us as we step over the threshold. “You’ve been with Seth forever.”

  There are four tiny bedrooms in the staff cabin, one for each member of the kitchen staff. Unfortunately, there’s only one bathroom, but it has two showers and two toilet stalls. Kate begins reading names off her list as I open the bedroom door with my name on it.

  “Yes! I got Amanda this year!” she says.

  I begin putting away my clothes in the dresser as I talk. “I don’t remember her. I remember Bridgette. She can sing!” Her voice shocked all of us her first summer with us.

  “Amanda’s the one that punched the boy for flipping her bra strap last year,” Kate reminds me.

  “Oh yeah, I remember that! I don’t blame her, he was an ass,” I say, sorting my underwear into a pile and tucking my socks in next to them. When we’re finished, we start to make our way back down the path to registration.

&n
bsp; “Maybe my group will win Charades tonight,” Kate muses. “Lots of personality in the Ladybugs this year.”

  “You’ll be against the Wasps,” I point out, reading over her paper as we walk. “That’s Seth’s team.”

  Kate makes a goofy face and I laugh, turning back to the list in my hands and trailing my finger down to the kitchen staff. Peter, our head cook, is returning again this year, along with Sabrina, another regular in the kitchen. The new guy’s listed with them.

  “Matt. I suppose that’s who you were talking about earlier?”

  Kate nods, a sly smile pulling at her lips. “Supposedly, he’s super cute. Sabrina’s met him before.”

  “A board member’s son,” I scoff as Seth comes into view. “He’s probably a snob.”

  Kate’s snort of laughter sends me into giggles and by the time we reach the tent, we’ve both dissolved into laughter.

  “What’d you two get into now?” Seth shakes his head at us, his friendly chuckle filling the air. “Your turn, Nat.” He hands me the clipboard. “Only missing a few kids and two of the staff.”

  Looking over his list, I take the pen he’s offering and slide into the chair. The scorching metal is already sticking to the back of my legs. My mom made a comment that my shorts were too short for camp, but mid-thigh seems to be a satisfactory length these days. I’ve definitely seen shorter while at football games. Hell, some girls even wore them to school.

  Settling back in my chair, I relish in the lake air waving my hair around. The wind coming off the water is the perfect temperature, and the angle of the sun is just right to soak up some rays. Closing my eyes, I inhale the musty air, everyone’s advice from the past week crowding my mind.

  Teddy and my dad want me to follow my heart, but they lean toward forgetting Connor. My mom wants Connor and I to make it work, more for her own happiness than mine. Kate says to forget Connor and move on.

  I know I shouldn’t care what everyone else thinks. I need to stop trying to live my life to please other people. The sound of crunching gravel from a car whipping into the lot interrupts my peace, and as I crack one eye open, a sleek black BMW comes to a halt in the parking spot closest to me. The windows are tinted so dark that it’s impossible to discern who occupies the front seat. For a moment, everything is still, and no one gets out of the car, so I look back out over the lake.