Undeveloped (Life Unfiltered Book 1)

by K Leigh

  “I know,” I exclaim, brushing my hair back from my face. For a moment, I wish I had put my hair up.

  “Jesus, the sun’s bright.” I squint, rubbing my eyes.

  “It’s bright, but it has nothing on you.” His hungry gaze lingers on my face and I meet his eyes defiantly, fighting the urge to flee. To my surprise, he looks away first, pushing himself off the bench to look over the lake again.

  Wordlessly, he steps right up to the fence. Orange and pink hues stretch over the sky like arms working out the kinks of a good night’s sleep. Watching Matt as he shoots reminds me of observing a nature channel documentary. Fluid movements and precise stops and starts, like there’s a secret to perfect pictures and only he knows the code.

  “Will you teach me?” I ask.

  “Teach you photography?” He glances at me over his shoulder.

  “Yes. Everything you know.”

  Matt snaps one last picture then tucks his camera back into its bag. “I don’t know about teaching you everything, but we can start from the beginning. Want to meet again tomorrow?”

  “Why not now?” I hate the begging tone of my voice, but it’s too late, the words are already out.

  Matt takes my hand, pulling me from the bench without effort. We’re almost chest-to-chest when he whispers, “Now, it’s time for us to shower.”

  Jerking away from him, I hurry back down the hill. His provocative comments should bother me, but they have the opposite effect, and I’ve begun to crave them. The anticipation of not knowing what he’ll say and when he’ll say it drives me crazy. When we return to the cabin, we duck into our separate rooms. As I put my camera bag away, I realize I didn’t take a single picture.

  Some student I’m turning out to be.

  Earlier, I had left my toiletry bag and clean clothes ready on my bed. Normally, I would have just been waking up to get ready. I’ll be sacrificing a lot of sleep in order to learn his tips and tricks, and he’ll be donating tons of free time to me. He seemed willing enough. The real question is, can I keep this sudden desire to be reckless around him in check?

  When Matt finally comes into the bathroom, I’m already showered and dressed. To my surprise—and I’ll admit, disappointment—his clothes are tucked under his arm.

  “I meant to put your number in my phone in case we need to change our plans at the last minute,” he says.

  “I have your number,” I blurt out, then cover my mouth. Horrified at my admission, I watch his gaze switch from confusion to entertainment.

  “Do you, now?” He teases.

  “I memorize all the staff members’ numbers,” I invent wildly, attempting to cover my ass. “I’ll text you later.”

  Collecting my things, I tell him I’ll see him in the kitchen and prepare to squeeze by him.

  “Don’t want to stay and talk? Keep me company?”

  He drops his stuff on the counter, then reaches back and grabs the neck of his shirt. His abdomen slowly comes into view as he pulls the shirt off. I’ve seen him shirtless before so I’m not as startled this time, but I’d be lying if I didn’t say I appreciate the view.

  “I get the feeling you’re not accustomed to being told no,” I observe, keeping my focus on his face.

  “You might be right.” He shrugs, hands trailing to the strings of his shorts.

  “Well, you need to get used to disappointment then,” I call over my shoulder.

  When I reach the Ladybugs’ cabin, I let myself in, taking care not to let the door slam behind me. A familiar splashing sound greets me as I walk by the bathroom. The girls are starting to stir at the sound, but none seem fully awake yet.

  Another splash hits as I close the bathroom door.

  “Kate, Kate, Kate.” Sinking to the floor beside my best friend, I pull the hair out of her face. She rests her cheek on the toilet seat, breathing in slowly.

  “Are you pregnant?” All my fears from the first night of camp jump back into my mind.

  Her laugh echoes around the bathroom. “Oh, Natalie, I almost wish I were pregnant. At least there would be an upside to this.”

  “That’s a no then?” Relief washes over me as she shakes her head.

  “I think I have the stomach flu or food poisoning. Did you cook last night?”

  Before I can answer with a smart remark, she ducks her head back down. I wince, turning my face away from her.

  When the sounds stop, I look over to see her emerge.

  “I thought you were pregnant because you were holding your stomach the other night before the fire, and Seth kept smiling at you. Plus, your remarks about him being so good with kids.”

  Kate laughs through a hiccup. “No, no, no. That’s code for the end of my period.”

  She leans against the handrail to pull herself up, flushing the toilet with her foot. She surveys her reflection in the mirror before splashing herself with cold water, looking up at me in the mirror.

  “What?” she asks. “Periods gross you out now or something?”

  “No,” I shake my head. “Just…how are you supposed to have sex at camp?”

  Kate shoots me a wicked grin. “We may not have the opportunity often, but if a chance presents itself, he knows it’s go-time.”

  “You’re a mess, Kate. I’ll get your girls down to breakfast.”

  “Oh, shit. It’s canoeing day,” she moans, covering her face with her hands. “I’ll be puking in the lake all day.”

  “I’ll find someone to help me. You go back to bed.” Shutting the bathroom door behind me, I find the girls in the process of getting ready. “Don’t forget to put your swimsuits on underneath your clothes, guys!” I call over their chatter. “You guys have canoeing today.”

  No doubt a few of them will end up in the lake, either by accident, or on purpose.

  “Kate’s not feeling well, so I’m going to take you guys down to breakfast and we’ll figure out the plan from there. Y’all might want to use the bathroom when we get to the mess hall,” I suggest pointedly, the sounds of Kate being getting sick again reaching me from the bathroom.

  Once the girls are ready, we file down the hill to the mess hall. They shuffle into their seats and I hurry to the kitchen to find Tonya. Luckily, she sends me back to the table with help.

  “Morning, girls!” Sabrina smiles around the table as she slides into Kate’s vacant seat. “I’m Sabrina. It looks like I’ll be hanging out on the lake with you all today!”

  Sabrina is the epitome of perfection. Even while in the kitchen while doing prep or cooking, she always looks immaculate. Perfect hair, perfect makeup, straight and shiny white teeth. At nineteen, she isn’t much older than me, but carries herself with a confidence I could only dream of. Not to mention, she’s built like a model, whereas I find my own figure unimpressive.

  After breakfast, we make our way down to the lake, where a tan figure built like a Greek god is waiting for us at the dock. Eric greets us with an easy smile. He’s a sophomore at the local community college, and if the rumors are true, he and Sabrina had a fling the previous summer.

  Word on the street is that it didn’t end well for either one of them, but the way they’ve been eyeing each other this year makes me think the attraction might still be there. I wonder if Eric is the reason she volunteered to help out so enthusiastically. Hopefully, their flirting and longing looks don’t affect our afternoon on the lake.

  I keep an eye on them both as we help the girls into their life jackets, double-checking the straps are tight enough.

  “All right, ladies, welcome to canoeing.” As Eric goes over the instructions for the day and files the girls into their seats, I let my mind wander, reliving the morning I’d spent with Matt.

  At times, he still seemed like the rich kid I assumed him to be, but for the most part, he was nothing like I expected. Easygoing, great sense of humor. He doesn’t act like he’s better than me. I hate to admit it, but I like him.

  “Looks like you’re with me.” Eric’s husky tone in my ear startle
s me. “Everyone else has teamed up already.”

  He runs his fingers down my arm before handing me a life jacket. I wonder if it was intentional, or if my imagination is in overdrive. Climbing into the canoe with careful steps, I shiver as he takes the seat behind me, his hand grasping the nape of my neck.

  “I’ve got you. No worries.” He says, filling my face with a mixture of mint and cigarette smoke.

  Definitely not my imagination.

  14

  Natalie

  Past

  The days have been flying by this summer…

  Our mornings fall into a routine, and a week passes in the blink of an eye. Camp becomes a blur of early mornings capturing the sunrise, and eventually, venturing to different parts of the camp.

  We share stories of our families, our siblings. He has an older sister the same age as Teddy. We complain about our parents, something I’ve never done with anyone but Kate. The freedom is exhilarating, a rush I can’t get enough of.

  Part of me begins to realize it isn’t just photography and hiking. I definitely have a thing for Matt. Every smirk sends butterflies fluttering in my stomach. Every laugh I elicit from him rumbles in my chest and it’s all I can do not to make a move. But something always stops me. He never makes more than a passing remark after our first morning, he isn’t overly flirtatious, and he doesn’t overstep any invisible boundaries. We’re friends. At one point, Kate even accused me of liking Matt better than her. She was mostly joking, but I catch the serious current in her voice.

  On the eighth morning of camp, we’re running extremely late. We had been preoccupied with photographing a mother bird and her babies, and lost track of time.

  “Natalie,” Matt calls from outside the bathroom. “Hurry up! The bugle sounds in five minutes.”

  “I just now got my hair lathered up.” Our cabin mates will be up any moment to shower, but the idea of showering at the same time as him still intimidates me. “I’ll be quick.”

  To my utter displeasure, his voice comes from outside my stall when he talks again. “This is ridiculous. We’ll be in separate stalls, Natalie Rose.”

  How dare he use my first and middle name. Those are fighting words!

  “And we’ve already showered at the same time before. I won’t come out in my towel again. I know that makes me too hard to resist.”

  “You wish,” I retort, my eyes popping wide.

  The slamming of the door of the next stall, followed by water rushing from the showerhead, proves he doesn’t care what my response is.

  The blood rushes to my face. It takes every ounce of self-control I possess to not beat on the wall between us. Matt’s feet are splashing around and I consider stretching out to smash his toe with my heel, but it would be my luck that I’d lose my balance and fall.

  “Fine.” Giving up, I duck my head back under the water. “You breathe one word of this to anyone, and I’ll never speak to you again.”

  “Why would people even give a shit?” he says gruffly.

  Why would they? They’d assume things are going on between us that aren’t. They’d gossip about us just like everyone gossiped about Sabrina and Eric, and I’m not sure I’m ready to deal with that kind of speculation about my personal life.

  That’s why I care. But it’s not worth explaining that. I’m sure he won’t understand.

  He finishes his shower before me but waits for me to get dressed. True to his word, he doesn’t come out in his towel. Instead, he decided to dress in his stall. I finish combing my hair and rush out of the bathroom without a backward glance.

  “See you in the kitchen,” he calls to my retreating back.

  As I throw him a wave over my shoulder, the bugle sounds. I pass Eric and Sabrina in the hallway on their way to shower. They don’t seem to give it a second thought that we had showered at the same time.

  “Cutting it a little close these days, aren’t we?” Kate greets me as I rush into the dining hall, tying my apron around my waist.

  “When you’re behind the camera, you lose track of time.” Exhilaration pounds through me at the memory from this morning of a bird’s wings spreading just as I had snapped a photo.

  “Oh, I’m sure you do,” Kate says.

  “Kate, no,” I reprimand her. “It’s not what you think.”

  “I see you two together. The way you move around each other, the expressions you share. There’s definitely a vibe there.”

  “Yeah, we’re both camera nerds.” I roll my eyes, stepping around her. “Now go away, I’ve got some French toast to make.”

  My phone vibrates in my back pocket as I tie my apron around my waist.

  Matt’s name flashes, but I send him to voicemail. We’ve never talked on the phone, and I’m not sure I want to start when I’m so flustered by him. He leaves a voicemail and I check it immediately, tension leaving my body as his soft tenor washes over me.

  “Hey. Sorry if I overstepped this morning. I didn’t think it would be a big deal, but it was inconsiderate of me. We can stop shooting a few minutes earlier from now on. I’ll see you later.”

  “Is ice cream sundae night always this terrible?” Matt asks.

  “Always.” Taking in the sticky tables and scattered sprinkles on the floor, I grab the paper towels from the counter. “Be thankful we’re safe in here.”

  “Safe?” Matt looks around, horrified. “This is a disaster.”

  “The others have it way worse.” Shuddering at the thought of what the rec room must sound like. Seventy-five kids bouncing off the walls on a sugar high. No thanks!

  “How so?” Matthew’s well-defined hand squeezing the handle of the all-purpose cleaner distracts me from my thoughts. It’s not until he clears his throat that I realize he had his hand out for the paper towels. Passing them off, I collect myself.

  “They’ve had sundaes.” Motioning to the ice cream toppings, I rattle them off. “Syrup, sprinkles, candy. All that sugar and now they’re crowded in the rec room.” Shaking my head, I continue. “We’re much better off scrubbing the syrup off the furniture, I promise. Last year, when Kate was in the Rec room, someone broke a leg. Literally.”

  “Noted.” Matt relaxes, moving to the next table. “I don’t think I’m cut out for kids. It’s been almost two weeks and I’ve decided I need to stick with fur children.”

  “Well, those are a handful as well.” Surveying the room, I spot a few containers on one of the far tables. “Of course, they didn’t turn everything back in. Silly kids.” Making my way to the edge of the mess hall, I begin gathering the aerosol cans of whipped cream and jars of maraschino cherries.

  “Going to reenact Varsity Blues for me?” Matt asks, pretending to spray whipped cream on his chest. “Don’t forget the cherries.”

  Turning to make a smart remark, I find myself staring at Matt as he turns back to the tables. His broad shoulders flex under his shirt and my hand squeezes the chilled can I’m holding as if my life depends on it. What would those muscles feel like under my palms? His eyebrows furrow in concentration as he strives to get every spot. There’s no room for mistakes or mishaps. I recognize that ache for perfection, it’s one that dwells in me as well.

  He moves so fast that I can’t avert my gaze before he catches me staring him down like he’s a piece of meat. Expecting his mouth to turn up into that damn smirk of his, I hold his gaze. Rather than laugh or make a remark, he freezes in place, paper towel dangling from his hand, and a vulnerability I rarely see settles in his eyes.

  I’m halfway to him before I even realize I’ve moved.

  “What are you doing?” The drop in his tone does nothing to hide the quiver in his words, and the idea that I made him nervous fills me with a heady sensation.

  I’ve spent almost two weeks making sure he doesn’t affect me. All that effort goes up in smoke as I settle in between him and the table, perching on the edge.

  I feel his hand twitch near my waist, watching it move toward my face out of the corner of my eye, and dodge
his touch.

  He grunts, mouth opening to protest, but I move quickly. I flip the whipped cream can upside down in a flash, filling his open mouth full of the fluffy, white substance. His eyes lock on mine, two pools of desire burning into me. He licks his lips purposefully, his tongue darting into both crevices sending a rush of heat between my thighs.

  Maneuvering out of his aura, I leave the can and the mess behind and head to the kitchen to wash dishes. As I turn the corner, I feel his gaze on me again and find him wiping the remnants off his chin with a paper towel, his eyes aflame with want.

  15

  Natalie

  Past

  So, I definitely have a thing for Matt…

  “Happy Sunday.” Kate bounces on my bed. Groaning, I cover my face with my pillow.

  “It’s still naptime, Kate. Hush.” Sunday is a rest day at camp, complete with an afternoon quiet time where the campers can rest, read, or listen to music through headphones as long as they stay in their bunk.

  And dumbass staff like me that get up an hour and a half earlier than necessary can catch some extra sleep.

  Unless your best friend is Kate.

  “Rest time’s over, lady.” Uncovering my eyes, a glance at the clock reveals she’s right. It’s almost dinner time. In fact, I’m going to be late to the kitchen.

  “Where are your girls?” I ask her.

  “It’s dinner and movie night, remember?” Kate pulls my covers off me. “We have to set everything up for the obstacle course tomorrow.”

  “Oh yeah.” Relieved at the reminder, I relax against my pillow again. All the campers are contained in the rec hall, watching a movie on a projection screen and eating pizza with half the staff while the rest of us set up the obstacle course.

  “We’ve got a ton of crap to set up.” Kate grabs my shoes from under my bed and I throw my legs over the side, slipping my feet into them. “And I switched with Matt so I can help Seth.”