Living for Today

by Kennedy, Brenda

  “Magnolia Street is a beautiful name.”

  When no one says something, I say, “Here, I bought you a house-warming gift. It’s not much, but it’s something I found and thought of you.”

  Nichole hugs me and says, “Thank you, Ava.” She opens it and reveals a picture frame. Inside the antique white frame is a saying: “Life isn’t about finding yourself, it’s about creating yourself.” She cries. “Thank you, it’s perfect. I have the perfect place for it.” She walks over and sets it in the window sill. “Now I can see it everyday.”

  We toast Nichole and her fresh start. She cries and in turn, we all cry. It’s a very emotional day. Rachael and Nichole have become good friends and I’m grateful for that.

  “Shall we continue this party somewhere else?” Chase asks.

  I look at Chase. “Where do you have in mind?”

  “I made dinner reservations at Carla Jo Dean’s. I’d say we better leave now to get there at the time I reserved.”

  I ride with Chase and he tells me how smoothly everything went today for Nichole. He doesn’t say it, but I sense that he feared that maybe Brett could have caused problems for her. I know you don’t need your attorney present to sign off on a property loan. I’m reminded again of what a great guy he is.

  We have dinner and drinks and talk about the bakery. The more we drink, the more names we come up with for Nichole to consider. Chase suggests, “Magnolia, Meringue, and Muffins.” We all laugh. Drew says, “I think ‘Mincemeat and Macadamia Nuts on Magnolia Street’ is a great name.” I don’t know if I should barf or plug my ears. When the food and the drinks are gone, we leave to go home.

  Everyone is staying at the inn tonight and we all plan to go to the bakery tomorrow to clean. The furniture delivery will be arriving between 8:00 and 10:00 am. Chase opens the door first and we all shuffle in after him. “Here, this was on the doorstep.” He hands me a box, wrapped in blue wrapping paper. It was hand delivered, not mailed.

  “Oh, a secret admirer,” Skylar teases.

  I open the package as everyone watches. Inside the gift box is a set of two infant boy receiving blankets. I hear whispers before Rachael steps up and whispers, “Is there something you need to tell me?”

  I look at her in confusion. “What?”

  “You and Xander? Is there something I should know?”

  What is she talking about? I look down the infant blankets. Oh, shit! She thinks I’m pregnant. “No. I’m not pregnant.”

  I look at Skylar for help. “Don’t look at me, those were addressed to you.”

  Thanks a lot. First the positive pregnancy test, then these. “Someone’s playing a joke on me.” I explain about the pregnancy test I received earlier. “Some kids must be doing this as a prank.”

  Chase steps up and looks at the name on the package. “This isn’t a child’s handwriting.”

  I look at it and he’s right. “I have no idea who sent this or why.”

  Rachael says, “Are you sure, Ava? Maybe it’s a sign.”

  I take a deep breath. Am I sure? We had protected sex. I don’t have any symptoms of pregnancy. A sign? From whom? Xander? That’s just crazy. “I’m sure, Rachael. There’s no way. Someone’s just playing a joke on me.” Does she hope I’m pregnant with Xander’s baby? Does she think if I am, a part of him will live on? It’s sad and it makes me sad for her.

  Chase steps up and takes the pressure off me. “Well, there’s no baby here, so let’s get to bed so we can start bright and early on the ‘Sweets Baked on Magnolia Street.’”

  Everyone laughs at the new name he just gave Nichole’s bakery. “We need to definitely work on a name,” Nichole says. “Good night, everyone.”

  When everyone goes to bed, I toss the baby blankets into the bin of items we plan on donating to the Salvation Army. We started this bin when guests started leaving items behind in their rooms. Then I toss the gift box and wrapping paper into the trash.

  Chase comes into the bedroom with me. “When did these pranks about a baby start?”

  I sit on the bed and he sits at the foot. “I don’t know, a few weeks ago.”

  “No idea who would do that?”

  “None.”

  He stalls before saying, “I hate to ask, but is there any chance of a…”

  “No.” I’m a little upset he would ask. I have been having dreams about babies and pregnancies. Could the baby I’m dreaming about be mine and Xander’s? I feel sick. That’s absurd to think that this could happen. I refuse to believe that. “No, not at all.”

  “Okay. Just wanted to check.” He stands and turns on the candles, the chirping birds CD, and the waterfall before leaving. “I’ll see you in the morning. We have a big day.”

  “Good night.”

  “Sweet dreams.”

  Tonight, I don’t dream of Connor, or beatings, or anger. I do dream of little cute babies who look like Xander. I wake in a cold sweat. My hearts races and I feel like I just saw into the future. There’s no way. God, please, don’t let this be a vision. I toss and turn and think about all of the unplanned pregnancies in this world because of faulty contraception. Please don’t let this be one of them. I’m not ready to be a mom.

  I turn off the chirping birds because this feels nothing like a paradise. I think of what would become of my life if I were pregnant. Xander’s gone. I’d be a single mom trying to run a bed and breakfast. This wouldn’t work. It couldn’t work. Not with the hours I keep. I’m up at 4:30 am every day. Spending my Sundays baking and cooking for the week. Where would a baby fit into this?

  Even if I were pregnant, the sender of the pregnancy test and the blankets wouldn’t know. No one knew about my and Xander’s intimate moments but us. Us and maybe Skylar. She wouldn’t send me pranks like that. She knows it would make me worry.

  With little sleep, I shower and put on a sweatshirt and yoga pants. I’m tired, but I’m ready to work. I’m ready to help to get Nichole’s place in tip-top shape. This is a big day for her, and I’ll do everything I can to be positive.

  Since it’s a bakery, Drew thought it was fitting to take breakfast there. “We’ll have ‘Donuts and Muffins on Magnolia,’” he teases, trying to incorporate a bakery name into his sentence. We do have donuts and muffins at the new bakery. The furniture comes and Rachael and Nichole instruct the delivery guys where everything goes, while everyone else continues cleaning. Drew and Chase are power washing the building, sidewalk, and the driveway, while Skylar and I continue cleaning and painting the inside.

  Nichole and Rachael are excited about staying at the bakery tonight. They leave to go to the grocery store when we all leave to go home. On the way home, we stop by the store and I quickly and secretly buy a pregnancy test while everyone else is shopping. I shove it in my purse before joining the others. When Skylar, Chase, Drew, and I get home, a woman and a small child are sitting in the swing on the front porch of the inn.

  We didn’t have any reservations for tonight; maybe she’s looking for a room at the last minute.

  “Can I help you?” Skylar asks, getting out of the car.

  “I’m looking for Ava.” She stands, holding her small child.

  I step around from the car and I immediately recognize the woman from Chase’s office. Lorraine. She’s blonde with big boobs, and she’s very attractive. I look at her and then I look at her son. He looks familiar. I walk onto the large porch and Drew turns on the porch light. I stare at the boy. This isn’t good. I get a bad feeling about this. He reminds me of someone. The hairs on my neck stand on end. Goosebumps cover my entire body.

  “How can I help you?”

  “Lorraine,” Chase says curtly.

  She doesn’t acknowledge him. She stares me in the eye. Not blinking. “I came to get what is rightfully owed to my son.”

  I look at her son in confusion. I don’t know her son; hell, I barely know her. “I’m confused. I’m sorry, but I don’t know your son.”

  She takes a step closer to me. I can feel Skylar and
Drew watching us. Chase takes a step closer.

  “Lorraine?” Chase says sternly.

  “Does he look familiar to you, Ava? Take a good long look at him. Does he remind you of anyone?”

  I look away from Lorraine and focus my attention on her son. He looks so familiar. He looks like every baby picture I ever saw of Connor. It can’t be. Connor and I were married for two years. He’s been dead for over a year.

  “How, how old is your son?” I stutter.

  “He’s almost two.” She smiles and it’s almost sinister.

  I look even more closely at the dark-haired boy. I feel faint. I feel sick. Holding onto the porch railing for support, I say, “He’s Connor’s.”

  “He is, he looks like just like his daddy, don’t you think?”

  Chase

  I always thought Lorraine was a bit crazy, but now I’m sure of it. I look at her baby and I think he looks like any other child his age. I don’t see any resemblance to Connor, Brett, or Nichole whatsoever. “What are you talking about?”

  “Chase, butt out. This has nothing to do with you. This has to do with me, little Connor, Ava, and my son’s inheritance that he didn’t get when his father died.”

  Bitch, if Ava’s involved then I have everything to do with this. “You didn’t get anything from Connor because you weren’t entitled to anything.” I take a step forward and whisper so only she can hear me. “If I were you, I would take your crazy ass home, and get some help.”

  Ava speaks and her voice is a near whisper. “How am I to believe that your son belongs to Connor?”

  Lorraine pulls paperwork from her overstuffed handbag. “Because DNA doesn’t lie.”

  She doesn’t offer it to Ava, and I’m not sure that I believe she’s actually holding proof. I knew she and Connor were close, but did I think they were this close? Perhaps I suspected it a time or two. “Why are you coming forward now? Why not come forward right after Connor’s death?”

  Lorraine laughs as she readjusts her son on her hip. “Chase, you know how this works. You hire an attorney, they want proof, Family and Children Services want proof, the Social Security Administration wants proof, the judge wants proof. The list is endless. No one can just take your word that the child is his.”

  Ava looks at me and I fear that she may think I know something about this. “Well, we want proof, too.”

  Lorraine looks at Ava and smiles as she walks in between us. “Oh, you’ll get it. My attorney will be in touch. I just wanted to give you a heads up so you’ll be prepared. I just hate surprises, don’t you?” she says as she walks off the porch to her car.

  “Why, that bitch,” Skylar says as she starts to walk off the porch after Lorraine.

  Drew reaches out and grabs her by the arm. “Oh, no, you don’t, Killer.”

  Skylar stands tall and says, “If you think I’m going to sit back and let this happen to my best friend, then you’re crazier than that crazy bitch.”

  “Come on, Skylar, she isn’t worth it,” Ava walks into the house and we follow behind her. She walks into the kitchen and pours herself a glass of wine. She downs half the glass and says, “Chase, do you know if Connor was having an affair on me?”

  “No, Ava, I don’t.” I look her in the eye so she can see my sincerity.

  “You worked with them, you didn’t suspect anything?”

  My mind replays the years that Connor and I worked together. I was so focused on making partner of the law firm that if they had sex on the desk in front of me, I’m not sure I would have noticed. I did hear a rumor or two about them, but I didn’t believe that Connor would stray away from Ava for something like Lorraine. “I didn’t.”

  Ava refills her glass with wine and sits down. Skylar grabs three wine glasses and the bottle and follows Ava into the living room. I want to say something but I’m speechless. I have no idea what to say. I see Ava hurting and I hate seeing her like this.

  “You don’t believe that crazy bitch, do you?” Skylar says, pouring Drew, me, and herself a glass.

  “Did you look at that baby?”

  Skylar says. “I did. He was cute. He looked nothing like that ugly ass you were married to.”

  “Skylar, he looked just like every baby picture I ever saw of Connor.” Ava holds her stomach and says, “I’m gonna be sick.” She stands and runs into the bathroom.

  “I’ll attend to her,” Skylar says. “You guys, go and see if Nichole knows anything about this.”

  Why didn’t I think about that? “We’ll be back.”

  On the drive to Nichole’s, I fill Drew in on the piece-of-shit guy that Ava was married to. I’m sure that Skylar’s told him some things, but he may be hearing more than he expected to once we get to Nichole’s. I have no idea if Lorraine is hallucinating or what her evil plot is, but I don’t like it. I call Nichole and let her know that we’re coming over. I hate to ruin her housewarming, but she may be the one person who holds the answers.

  Nichole and Rachael are up decorating the apartment when we get there. I feel bad because she has no idea of the bomb I’m about to drop.

  “What brings you boys out this time of night?” Nichole asks.

  There’s no easy way to say it, so I just come right out with it. “When we got home this evening, Lorraine Williams was at the inn waiting on Ava.” I watch as the name sinks in. Nothing. “Do you remember her? She was Connor’s secretary.”

  Nichole shifts on her seat. “What did she want?”

  “She had her son with her and she’s claiming that her son, Connor, belongs to your son, Connor.” I continue. “As you can imagine, Ava’s pretty upset.” When she doesn’t say anything, I ask, “Do you know anything about this?”

  She sits up on the edge of the couch. “No, this is all new to me. I think I met her once or twice and one of those times was at Connor’s funeral.” I’m relieved when she says she doesn’t know anything about Lorraine or her baby. I didn’t want to think that she was capable of deceiving Ava, especially after everything that Ava’s been through and has done to help her in these recent weeks.

  “Wait a minute,” she says. “I vaguely remember something that happened with Lorraine.”

  I watch as she searches her memory. “What was it?”

  “It was after Connor’s death. Marshall and Brett went to clean out Connor’s desk.”

  “I remember that day, Lorraine was there helping. I think I had court or something and couldn’t stay.”

  “A few days later I heard Brett talking on the phone. He was in his office and he didn’t want me to hear. He said to whoever he was talking to that he found something in Connor’s desk.”

  “What was it?”

  “That part I couldn’t hear. But I thought he was talking to Marshall.”

  Would Ava’s dad keep a secret from her, especially something like this? How far would a father go to protect his daughter?

  Ava

  When Drew and Chase leave, I have a meltdown in front of Skylar. I don’t know why, even I don’t understand it. The way Connor treated me throughout our marriage, why would I care if he had an affair on me? Why would that even bother me? I have no idea, but it does. Infidelity is different. The beatings I suffered at the hands of Connor, although I have no memory of them, at times I wonder if maybe I didn’t deserve them. Could I have provoked them? Did I deserve them in some sick way? But an affair? That’s different. To have an affair during our marriage… and to conceive a child? I can’t begin to explain to Skylar how that feels. I feel betrayed. I feel like I wasn’t good enough. I feel sick knowing my husband was with another woman intimately.

  “If he was that unhappy with me, then why wouldn’t he just leave me? Why stay with someone if you’re totally and completely miserable?”

  “Ava, I wish I knew. I wish I had the answers. Connor wasn’t right. If he was, he never would have been the kind of husband he was to you. This isn’t about you and you not being good enough. It’s about Connor and his problems that made him behave the
way he did.” She drinks more wine. “Besides, we don’t even know if that is Connor’s baby. She probably stole that kid from Walmart, brought him here, and is trying to pass him off as her own. There’s probably an Amber alert right now and police are looking for him.”

  I want to laugh, but I can’t. I wipe the steady flow of tears, hating the way I’m thinking and feeling right now. Connor was an ass. Why do I even care what he and Lorraine did? He’s gone.

  “What do you think her purpose was for coming over here?”

  “She said she wanted money. The inheritance from Connor.”

  I replay her words over and over in my head: “I came to get what is rightfully owed to my son. I came to get what is rightfully owed to my son. I came to get what is rightfully owed to my son.” I say, “Skylar? If that baby is Connor’s, is she entitled to half of everything?”

  “I have no idea. Chase would know more than I would.” She watches me and I can see when she realizes my concern. “You bought this house with Connor’s money.”

  “I did. I sold our family home. There’s money in the bank, in IRA’s…” I take a deep breath before I finish. “If she’s entitled to half…”

  “Let’s think about this. If the kid is Connor’s and he was alive, she would get child support.”

  “Right.” I down my wine and pour another glass. “But he’s not alive, so they would get something from Social Security, right?”

  “A monthly check.”

  “Right. But would they get half of everything? Like in a divorce?”

  “Ava, I think you need to call your mom and dad. They need to know what’s going on.”

  “Good idea.” Feeling more tipsy than I felt a few moments ago. I stand to get my phone from my purse. Swaying, I try to focus in on my contacts. I call Dad, hoping he’ll answer his phone first. He does. I tell him what happened, and before I can finish he says, “We’re on our way.” I disconnect the call and stumble to the couch.

  “What did he say?”

  Skylar holds up the nearly empty wine bottle and offers me some. I shake my head. I’ve had enough. “They’re on the way.” I look at the clock trying to focus in on the blurred numbers. “Is that 11:00?” Before she can answer I say, “I’m drunk.”