Living for Today

by Kennedy, Brenda

  “And the music?” I ask.

  “It serves the same purpose.”

  “You wouldn’t need both of them.”

  She says, “That all depends. Have you ever been to a waterfall? Maybe Ichetucknee Springs?”

  “Sure.”

  “Did you hear the birds chirping in the background?” She pauses and gives us time to think about it “Maybe during a picnic?” When I understand, she says, “See, it’s all wrapped up together to create a more relaxing, deeper rest.”

  I think I like this idea. Ava looks like she’s ready to leave. “So, if you get the chirping birds, you don’t really need the large waterfall, right? The smaller one will work just as good?”

  “Correct.”

  Okay, I like this store. “I saw some candles when we came in.”

  “Right this way.” Ava and I follow her to the candle display.

  “Chase, you really need all this to help you sleep?” Ava asks.

  It’s not for me, it’s her I’m shopping for. “Work can be very stressful,” I lie. Well, it’s not a total lie. Work can be very stressful.

  To my surprise, they make and sell scented flameless candles. I purchase the two sets of the vanilla-scented, battery-operated three-piece candles, batteries for the candles, two CD’s with chirping birds, and two smaller-size waterfalls.

  “I think you’re trying to set the mood for a special someone.” Ava teases as we walk out to the car. If only she knew she is my special someone.

  We stop and have a drink at Phish Heads before heading to the condo. I didn’t expect to see Ava this weekend, but I couldn’t be happier to have her here. When we get home, I take my purchases out of the trunk and carry them into the condo. Ava helps me set everything out, keeping one set of everything in the bag. She puts the batteries in the candles before she starts to carry them into my bedroom.

  “It’s not for me,” I say, walking into the guest room that she slept in.

  I fill the waterfall with distilled water and turn it on. Ava turns the switches on for the candles and they glow and flicker like real wax candles. The birds chirp from the CD player and she laughs. “I feel like I should be on a tropical island.”

  “Well, you’re in Florida. Does that count?”

  “Lake City, Florida? No, not hardly.”

  She lies on the bed and closes her eyes. “This is pretty relaxing.”

  “Good, let me know if it stops your nightmares.” I walk out of the room and place the bag with the extra items near the front door.

  “Chase?” she says from the other room.

  “Yeah?”

  She walks out into the living room. “You got this stuff for me?”

  “Maybe with luck, they’ll slow down your nightmares.”

  She walks over to me and kisses me. “Thank you.”

  I hug her and hold her. “I just hope it helps.” Is this a good time to tell her how I feel? She kissed me. It feels right. She smells of vanilla and cranberries. Maybe I should buy some vanilla- and cranberry-scented candles. I’d sleep like I lived on cloud 9 if I did.

  Ava

  Chase surprises me at every turn. He’s thoughtful, giving, caring, and good looking. I never expected to stay with him this weekend. I showed up unexpected, thinking I would have dinner with him and maybe see him one other time before leaving, but I’ve spent the entire weekend with him, never leaving his side.

  He’s single and it’s the weekend. I would have expected him to have plans with some guys or a girl. He doesn’t date? Why? Is he that picky and no one is good enough for him? No, that’s not it. Is he that busy with work that there’s no time for a relationship? I didn’t see him open his briefcase once this weekend.

  We go to bed and I turn off two of the flameless candles and leave one on. It’s just enough lighting. The birds chirp softly and the waterfall contributes to a calming ambience. Closing my eyes I drift off into a peaceful sleep. I don’t dream of angry men, or abuse, or fights. I don’t dream of injuries, deaths, or trauma. Instead, I dream of sandy beaches, piña coladas, and cabana boys.

  I wake up feeling more rested than I ever have. I shower and make coffee while Chase sleeps on the couch. He wakes up and stretches his neck.

  “Good morning.” He smiles.

  “Good morning. Stiff neck?” I ask.

  He moves his head in a circular motion. “No, it’s good. How did you sleep?”

  “Great. That stuff really works.”

  “Good, glad to hear it.”

  I look in the fridge and see some turkey bacon and egg whites. “Breakfast?”

  “Sounds good. Let me shower then I’ll help.”

  I hand him his coffee and say, “I got this, take your time in the shower.”

  He folds his blanket and takes his things to the bedroom while I start cooking. It seems so natural to be in his home making breakfast. I wonder have I ever done this before? Cooking for just Chase and me?

  During breakfast Mom and Dad call to tell me they went to the Florida Keys for the weekend. When I first arrived, I actually planned to stay longer than just the weekend. But after a good night’s sleep, I plan to return to the inn later today.

  “How long are you staying?” Chase asks.

  “I’m heading back to the inn after breakfast.”

  “I hate to see you go.”

  “Yeah, me, too, but I can’t leave Skylar and Drew there to run it alone.”

  “Speaking of Skylar and Drew, how are those two?”

  “In love, I think.”

  “I kind of thought that when I was there last. I’m amazed at how well they get along.”

  “Me, too. They’re a good match, though.”

  “Does it bother you seeing him everyday?”

  “What do you mean?”

  “Since he looks so much like Xander? I wondered how you felt about that.”

  “Drew and Xander are so different, and because of that I don’t think I notice the similarities in their looks anymore.”

  “That’s good. I was afraid it would be hard on you.”

  “It’s not. No need to worry about that. He’s great with Skylar. I’m thrilled for the both of them.”

  “Me, too. She deserves to be happy.”

  “She does.”

  We clean up after breakfast and I leave to go home, taking the extra items that Chase bought from Dream Time. I drive through Savannah and to the bakery that Nichole has purchased. It’s even cuter than I remembered. She’ll be able to do great things with this place. A little bit of paint and some power washing, and this place will be ready for business. Magnolia Street. What a cute street name. “The Sweet Shop on Magnolia Street.” What a cute name for a bakery. “Mocha, Muffins, and Macaroons.” What fun way to name a bakery. “Mocha, Macaroons, and Muffin Tops.” Uh, maybe not that name. I laugh to myself. It’s not my business to name. After feeling better from a weekend away, I head home to the inn.

  Drew and Skylar are playing poker and having pizza for dinner. I notice that Skylar is wearing a tank top, underwear, and socks. Drew is wearing gym shorts and no top. His prosthetic leg is attached above his knee. The house is clean and the inn is empty. I try to not let the empty rooms bother me. I know we’ll have some down time, and this is one of those times.

  As I carry in the things that Chase bought me to my room, Skylar asks, “Did you do some shopping?”

  “A little.” I don’t tell her about the items Chase bought to help me sleep. “We went to the Gainesville mall.”

  “Dinner at the Macaroni Grill?” she calls from the other room.

  “I’ve never had a bad meal there.” I walk out of my room and sit on the couch.

  “Me, either. How’s your mom and dad?”

  “Vacationing in the Keys.”

  “No way.”

  “Yep, I didn’t even see them while I was there.”

  “That’s too bad. Did you get some things done?”

  “I cleaned out some junk from the storage unit, and I
spent some time with Chase.” I also said goodbye to Connor. I don’t say that. She doesn’t need to know I went to the cemetery and it was my last visit there.

  “You’re feeling better?”

  I smile. “I am.”

  Skylar draws another card from the stack.

  “Good. Nichole rented a room and she’s staying upstairs. She closes on her property this week and she wants some help getting it ready.”

  “Wait. She’s here now? I didn’t see her car.”

  “No, she’s gone out to get some stuff. She’ll be back later.” I’m just about to say something when she yells, “I WIN, BITCHES!”

  Drew sits up and looks to make sure she’s not cheating. I laugh at the tone she uses.

  “Take it off, babe.” She laughs. She sits back and watches as he stands.

  “Wait, you guys are playing strip poker?”

  “Yep, sure are, and Drew’s the loser.”

  They both laugh and I have never seen her so happy.

  “Hello, I’m in the room, remember.”

  “It’s okay, Ava. I came prepared for this.” He removes his gym shorts only to reveal another pair beneath the pair he just removed.

  Everyone laughs and Skylar says, “You suck.”

  “And you cheat.”

  She tosses a pillow at him and laughs louder. “I do, it’s true.”

  The bell over the door chimes and I walk out to meet our guest. Nichole is walking into the inn. “Hey, closing on the bakery this week, are you?”

  “I am. Isn’t it exciting?” She hugs me before I can answer her. “How are you?”

  “I’m good. I went to Lake City for a couple days.”

  “Skylar told me. Is everything okay?”

  “I have these recurrent nightmares.”

  “Of the abuse?”

  “Yeah, but because of my amnesia, I can’t make any sense of them.” She looks so sad when she looks at me. “He’s always so mad and mean and I never know why.”

  “I’m sorry, Ava.”

  “Anyway.” I hurry to change the subject. “I went the storage unit and I have a box of photos of Connor I thought you’d like to have.”

  “Thank you. He was my son and I loved him. But I never approved of his behavior. Ever.”

  I want to ask her did he treat her the same way he treated me, but I can’t. I can’t ask her that. I don’t want her to have the same nightmares I have. I was in a great mood up until this point. I need to change the subject. “So, I just drove by the bakery. It looks great with the ‘Sold’ sign out front of it.”

  “I close on Wednesday. I’m so nervous and excited at the same time.”

  “I’m thrilled for you.”

  “Thank you. I went out and bought some cleaning supplies, cookbooks, and some things I thought I would need.”

  “I saw your house for sale in Lake City.”

  “Selling it fully furnished, too. I didn’t want anything from there.”

  “I put in storage some things that I may never use from my house. You’re more than welcome to everything and anything in there if you want them.”

  “Thank you, Ava. That’s really nice, but I think you should donate them to a women’s battered shelter. Give it to someone like us, someone who could use it to better their lives.”

  My skin prickles on my arm. Women like us. There’s more of us. It’s like we’re labeled, which we are. We all have this black cloud that hangs over us. “I have no idea why I didn’t think about doing that. I’ll call around this week to find a place that’ll come and pick it up.”

  “We’d all sleep better at night if everyone were as kind and giving as you are.”

  I wish it were that easy. Then I think about Luke Tanner rescuing Olivia and her twins. One good deed at a time. I need to change the subject. “Well, as you can see we’re having our slow time, so whatever you need, let us know and we’ll all pitch in and make it happen.”

  “Thank you. I will.”

  Later that night, I go to bed and read. I pull out a notebook that Xander had while he was staying here. Flipping through the pages, I stop when I see his handwriting. It reads:

  Xander’s Funny Bucket List Of Things To Do With Ava

  I get choked up thinking he made a bucket list, and I have no idea what could be funny about it. Drying my tears, I force myself to look at his list.

  1- Drink blue Gatorade from a Windex bottle during the afternoon tea at the inn.

  2- Go to McDonald’s and order a happy meal, ask if it’s happy hour, then order a McBeer.

  3- Go to PetSmart and buy bird seed and ask the cashier how long it takes for the birds to grow.

  4- Walk into Sea World with a fishing pole.

  5- Go to a library and ask for a book on how to read.

  6- Stick an ice cream cone on my forehead and tell a child I’m a unicorn.

  7- Sit in a car with Ava’s hair dryer and point it at oncoming cars. See how many cars slow down.

  8- Post a Post It note on Ava’s guest doors saying, “I know where you are.”

  9- Eat vanilla pudding from a mayonnaise jar.

  10: Go to an ATM, make a withdrawal, and yell, “I won, I won.”

  I laugh so hard I cry. I scan the book looking for other notes or letters he may have written. Sadly, this is the only one. I reread it, laughing just as hard as I did the first time I read it.

  That night I dream of Xander and his funny bucket list. I’m happy when Xander visits me in my dream. We laugh and he’s sweet. He’s white and bright, almost angelic. He’s exactly what I would expect him to be. Xander tells me that on Earth a happy life is waiting for me and that I have an admirer and he’s exactly what I deserve. I don’t believe him, but I sleep better knowing that Xander is in a good place. I pray for more visits from him.

  The next day, Rachael drives down and we all go furniture shopping with Nichole for the bakery and the upstairs apartment. Nichole also finds a great sale on bistro tables for the bakery, and a sale on magnolia floral material. She’s planning on making valances and matching tablecloths for the bakery. I didn’t know she could sew, and I’m looking forward to seeing the finished product.

  On Wednesday, Nichole is beyond excited for the next chapter of her life. Chase is coming up to go with her while she closes on her new business. I’m excited and it’s fun to watch her. She even bought a new dress and shoes for today. Skylar and Drew also bought champagne for a celebratory toast for later.

  As soon as they close on the building, Chase said he’ll take her over to get the permits she needs to open the bakery. The bakery won’t be ready to open for a couple months, but he wants to make sure she has everything in order.

  I don’t think I’ve ever seen someone so excited. When Skylar and I bought the inn, I was more frightened than anything. We moved to a new state where we didn’t know anyone. I was more frightened for her than for myself. She gave up her job to follow my dream. I look at Skylar and she looks so happy. Her life is in a good place. I’m glad that this move has worked out for her. She deserves to be happy.

  Chase and I talk or text every night, every morning, and sometimes throughout the day. He’s funny and smart and it’s a great combination. He tells me he’s been sleeping in his guest room at his condo and the ambience of the room has been making him sleep through his alarm. I know he’s teasing and it makes me laugh. I’m actually sleeping better at night, so he can make fun all he wants. He’s a great guy and I love that we’re friends. I just wish he could find someone to share his life.

  “I guess we’re meeting everyone over at the bakery. Chase said he’ll call when they’re done with the paperwork,” I say, slipping on a sweatshirt.

  “I’m excited for her.” Skylar looks at Drew while she hands him his hoodie.

  I say, “It’ll be nice having her close.”

  “I think it’ll do us all some good to have a friend here.” Skylar pulls her hair into a high ponytail.

  Drew says looking at me, “It nice th
at the two of you get along so well. I know she’s Connor’s mom, but I think she has a lot of respect for you.”

  Maybe because we’ve been through the same nightmare. “I have a lot of respect for her, too.”

  Rachael says, “You both have been through more than you should have. No one should have to live their life under those conditions. Not even for one minute.”

  She’s right. No one should. We get the text that they’re done and we should leave now to meet them at the bakery. I tuck the small gift I bought Nichole into my purse. It isn’t much, just a little something to remind her how strong she is. When times get hard, I never want her to forget she’s a fighter and she can do anything.

  “You ready?” Drew asks.

  “We are.”

  He drives us over to the bakery. The more I see of Savannah, the more I’m reminded that we’ve made the right decision to move here.

  “I love this place,” Skylar says, looking out the window at the busy streets and the manicured lawns.

  “Me, too,” Drew and I say simultaneously. It’s nice to know that Drew likes it here, too. “It’s a great area,” I add.

  When we pull up at the bakery, Chase and Nichole are already there. The blinds downstairs are up and the plantation shutters upstairs in the apartment are opened. Nothing says home like natural lighting. We walk in and Chase and Nichole are standing in the bakery.

  “So, you got it?” I ask. I already know she does, but I have to hear her say it.

  “I got it,” she squeals, waving a fist full of papers in her hands. We all hug and it’s a great feeling. She looks amazing and happy. Chase stands back and watches the interaction between everyone. “Now the real work begins.”

  She isn’t kidding. It’s hard work getting a business ready to open. “Yep, finding the perfect name is the hardest part of it all.” This is the best part, but I want to take her mind off of the real work that’s ahead of her.

  “Oh, you’re right. My bakery needs a name.”

  Skylar says, “It has to be something catchy, fun, and cute.”

  After several minutes of silence, she says, “Oh, Lord, this just might be the hardest part. Because right now, I have nothing.”

  “It’s on a great street name. Maybe you can build on it,” Rachael says.