Damage Control
Page 18
Tyler: :P
Dutifully, Tyler sent the pictures he’d taken to Tom, who texted him back approval, which was a relief, and another update.
“Josh, you remember that kid who sold me my new phone?” he asked.
Josh frowned. “The twink who hit on you like an hour ago? Yes, I think I remember.”
That gave him an odd burst of pleasure. “Why, Josh, are you jealous of that precious little baby gay?”
“No,” was his curt reply, which Tyler found suspiciously snippy for someone who wasn't at all jealous.
“Well, you needn't be. Not only am I devoted entirely to you, but I've already gone through my ‘fuck the pretty fellow twink’ phase, and I have to say that I wasn't a fan. It felt far more incestuous than it would be fucking you, and you and I are practically related.”
Josh inhaled some of the water he'd been drinking and choked a little. “What?” he gasped.
“Yeah, my last boyfriend was like me, only a less pretty version, which is why he went into journalism. In my experience putting two twinks together is just asking for trouble, even if one is more of a former twink. Dating someone almost exactly like me was exhausting.”
“Former twink?”
Tyler sighed. “Alas, my elderly yet still fine ass has graduated from twinkdom. I'm just a queen now.”
“Royalty, certainly,” Josh said.
“Aren't you sweet? Such a gentleman.” Tyler leaned over to kiss Josh’s cheek, making him blush. Tyler decided that making Josh blush was his new favorite hobby.
Josh cleared his throat. “I don't think I ever had a twink phase. I was too self-conscious and awkward. Besides, even at eighteen I was far too tall, dark, and hairy.”
Tyler grinned at him. “I remember you at eighteen. I think you’re selling yourself short, but you’re right. You were never a twink. You’re one of those, ‘I had no idea he was gay’ gays. You're a stealth gay.”
“I told you I've been out since college,” Josh said with a frown.
“Oh, don't be all offended. I get it. You have a profession and being all out there isn't helpful, even if you were the type to be all out there naturally, which you're not. It's fine. We can't all be inherently fabulous.”
“God forbid. So, what about Arik, anyway?” asked Josh. He pronounced the kid’s name like it personally offended him.
“What about him?” Tyler asked, just to mess with him.
“You brought him up!”
“Oh, right! Sorry, I got distracted. You’re very distracting. What I was going to say was that I mentioned that website the kid talked about to Tom. He apparently has had other clients do the answer questions thingies before and thinks it might be a good idea. He's looking into it.”
“Okay. So, that's good, right?”
Tyler shrugged. “Maybe. I haven't googled myself since I got the phone. I'm afraid to. The shit I'm getting from people I know is bad enough. I'm not ready to see what the rest of the world thinks of me, too. But I can't put it off forever, can I?”
Josh squeezed his hand. “You can put it off for a little while longer,” he said, then took his hand back when the waitress brought their lunches.
–—
Sunday, September 18th 3:56 p.m.
On Blue Lake in the Chadwicks’ sexy speedboat
Blue Lake, WI
“You need to stop frowning,” Tyler said. They'd ended up taking out the Chadwicks’ speedboat because it was a million times sexier than the pontoon boat that came with Josh’s rental. Tyler sprawled in the back while Josh manned the helm. He'd stopped the boat at the agreed-upon point so photos of them could be taken, but hadn't moved from his seat behind the wheel.
“I'm not frowning.” But at least he got up and joined Tyler in the back of the boat.
“Yes, you are. What's wrong? I've been on my best behavior and everything.”
“I'm not mad at you.” If anything, Josh’s frown deepened. Just great. “There are other things in this world besides you that irritate me.”
“Aw, you say the sweetest things, Josh.”
“Don't pout.” Josh smoothed his thumb over Tyler’s mouth, catching in a delicious way along his lower lip. “I don't like the photographer your publicist sent out. He's an asshole.”
“He's pissed off to be sent into the wilds of northern Wisconsin on what he considers to be a bullshit assignment. Don't take it personally.”
“It's hard not to take it personally when the first thing he asked me was how much they were paying me.”
“You know, he's not going to be the only person making that assumption, Josh. It's part of the reason I need you to work with me. No matter how much you’re pissed off, you can't show it in public. It's not fair, and I'm sorry that it's not fair, but I did warn you this wasn't going to be easy.”
“You’re not the one pissing me off, that jerk is, and how he looked at you.”
Tyler squinted up at Josh. “Yeah, he looked at me. He's a photographer. That's his job.”
“You know what I mean.”
Tyler did. He had an effect on some people, almost always men who were not quite as straight as they claimed to be or thought they were. They were the guys in high school who wanted to hit him because it was their only excuse to touch him. The ones in bars who said ugly things with hungry eyes. The men who wanted to fuck him five ways to Sunday but weren’t interested in going on an actual date, not that Tyler would date anyone like that. Not now, having learned that hard lesson.
Tyler made some men itch like a burr under a saddle and he knew it. Sometimes he even did it on purpose, but not today, and he had been irrationally glad that Josh had been with him. Like he needed some sort of champion. Like he wasn't perfectly capable of taking care of himself. He'd been both dodging and egging on assholes like the photographer for as long as he could remember.
Tyler wondered what Josh had seen, though, so he lied and said, “Not really. I wasn't paying attention.”
“Like you were an insect he wanted to squish,” Josh said, and there was a cold anger in him that Tyler knew had to go.
“As cute as I find you when you’re grumpy, please try to look as if I'm the light of your life,” Tyler said, and leaned up to kiss the side of Josh’s firm mouth. Josh deepened the kiss and Tyler pulled back slightly. “Just remember to keep it PG,” he reminded.
Josh also pulled back and plastered a pleasant smile on his face. “How long do we have to do this?” he asked.
Tyler grinned back and held his head at a fetching angle. He gave Josh a few subtle nudges to adjust him into a more photogenic posture. “Long enough for him to get some decent shots of us in nicely intimate yet also tasteful poses. You know why the guy was looking at me like he wanted to squish me like a bug, right?”
“He’s an asshole.”
Tyler laughed, throwing his head back to show the line of his throat. It was time to employ some misdirection. “He's an asshole who's hot for you.”
“You are so full of it, Tyler.”
Tyler brushed away a curl of hair that had tumbled across Josh’s forehead. “No, really. He wants you bad. It means you're going to look great in these shots and I'm going to come out looking like hammered ass, but as long as it looks like we're in happy la-la land, that's all that matters.”
“He is not hot for me.”
“You keep telling yourself that, Romeo.” Tyler said. “What do you say to me cooking dinner tonight?” He repositioned them again, this time with Josh leaning back and Tyler almost, but not quite, sitting on his lap.
“You can cook?”
“No, I just figured I'd offer and then kill us both with food poisoning.”
Josh leaned toward Tyler and touched their noses together. “You've got a smart mouth on you, your highness.”
“You’re getting good at this, Rosen. I bet our friend is over there rubbing one out instead of taking pictures.”
Josh snorted in disbelief then asked, “What are you going to cook for me?”
“Is that a trick question?” Josh brought his hand up and stroked Tyler’s cheek.
“No, but we could invite our photographer friend over there to dinner and ask him. I'm pretty sure I know what his answer would be.”
Josh snorted.
Tyler felt a vibration in his pocket and pulled out his phone. There was a text from the photographer saying that he'd gotten all the shots he needed and they were off the hook. “We can stop the displays of affection,” Tyler said. “He's done. He asked for your number, too. I hope you don't mind, but I told him he could go find his own dermatologist.”
“God, Tyler, what am I going to do with you?”
“You keep asking that. I can give you a list if it would help.”
Josh sighed and shook his head. “How about take you for a ride?”
That remark hit a little too close to home for comfort and Tyler faltered. They weren't being serious and they weren't being sincere and they were being upfront about it. No one was taking anyone for a ride. They were both going into this with their eyes wide open. No expectations. No strings. But still, Tyler’s mother's warning from this morning repeated in his head.
No. It would be fine. It would. Really.
Tyler needed to remember that Josh was not, and would never be, his Prince Charming. He didn't need a prince, in any case. He didn't need anyone. He was fine. Everything was fine.
Even so, Tyler started to feel that craving within himself and he strove to stomp it down. Not now. Maybe not ever again, although that idea was tinged with unreality. He couldn't quite believe in a Tyler with only fading scars on his body.
“Okay, Captain,” he said with a brilliant smile. “I'm all yours. Take me for a ride.”
Chapter 15
Josh Gets a New Boathouse Memory
Sunday, September 18th, 6:17 p.m.
The Chadwicks’ boat house
Blue Lake, WI
“Do you remember when I caught you and Ryan in here?” Tyler asked as Josh secured the speedboat in the boathouse.
“Yeah. You scared the crap out of me that day.” Josh joined Tyler where he leaned against the wall in the exact spot Ryan had been standing all those years ago. “And we probably scarred you for life. How old were you then? Seven?”
“Eight, and I was mostly baffled by what you were doing, but the whole thing made a lot more sense by the time puberty hit.”
“I was worried that you'd tell everyone what you'd seen and that would be the end of me and Ryan.” Josh’s mouth kicked up in a half-smile. “Such as it was. Might have been for the best if you had. In the long run, I'm not sure you did me a favor that day by keeping our secret.”
Tyler made a disgusted noise. “What secret? We all knew.”
Josh stilled. He knew that Brad knew now, but he figured that was because Rachel had told him, since those two shared pretty much everything, and he knew Tyler knew because he'd seen him and Ryan together that day. The idea that everyone knew what had been going on the whole time was an entirely new concept for him. “What do you mean you all knew?”
“You two were pretty fucking obvious. I knew what was going on since I was, I don't know. Six? Seven, maybe. Something like that. Not the specifics, of course, that came later, but both Brad and I knew to stay out of your way and leave you and Ryan alone. Mom covered for you two all the time. That day I came in here, I knew better, but Ryan had promised to take me out on the boat and I just barged in without thinking.”
“I can't believe you all knew. My biggest secret for years and everyone knew.”
“Well, everyone except for Dad. Ryan knew there was no way in hell I'd say anything to him, so that little warning he gave me was for your benefit, not mine. He knew damn well I'd never go running to tell Dad what his perfect golden son and his best friend were getting up to.”
Josh leaned against the wall next to Tyler. “So, except for your father, everyone knew.”
Tyler gave him an exasperated look. “Are you not paying attention? Yes. We all knew.”
“Everything?”
“It wasn't like we had secret cameras trained on you guys. It's just that you were… I don't know… all you could see was him and all he could see was you. You were this self-contained unit. It was some epic shit, let me tell you.”
“No,” said Josh. “That’s not right. We were never a unit and we sure as hell weren't self-contained. There were all those girls. One after another. I hated every one of them, too. Even the nice ones.”
Tyler shook his head. “I can only tell you what I remember. I'd say you should talk to Ryan about it, but I don't think it'd do any good. He's like the mayor of Denialsville.”
“Ryan and I were not epic.” Saying that was automatic, but hadn't he always, deep down, thought that very thing? A bit of him was convinced that what he and Ryan had had was special. Different. Important. It was why he'd had such a hard time letting go.
Tyler gave Josh a thoughtful look. “I’ve spent my whole life searching for someone to look at me like you two used to look at each other. Haven't found him yet, though.”
“But…” Josh combed his memories, wanting to see what Tyler insisted had been there, and still knowing in the end it didn't matter. “It wasn’t enough. I wasn't enough.”
Tyler shrugged. “Not many people end up happily married to the person they were epically in love with as a teenager. It's not the end of the world.” He pivoted and stood in front of Josh. “If it would help, I could get on my knees and give you a whole new boathouse memory.”
Josh ran a hand up and down Tyler’s spine, feeling the slight bumps of bone and planes of muscle under the rough weave of his shirt. He welcomed the change of subject, although he noticed that Brad had been right: Tyler's default response to difficulties seemed to be to fuck his way through or around them. It would bear watching. “You already gave me a blow job,” he said.
“I didn't realize you had a once-in-a-lifetime limit. Silly me.”
Josh felt adrift, unsure what was expected of him. Had today, from the end of their argument in the car until the end of their boat ride, been a real first date, which it almost felt like, Josh would've kissed Tyler and gone home alone, but it hadn't been a first date. They'd woken up in the same bed that morning. Josh already knew the feeling of Tyler in his arms and he liked it, rather more than he should. It had probably been a mistake to tuck Tyler into his bed last night. He wasn't even sure why he'd done it, only that it hadn't occurred to him to take Tyler back to his own room, and lying next to him had felt right.
The sensible portion of his brain told him in calm and measured tones to smile and step away from Tyler and go back to the house. The other portion, the part that kept reminding him that it had been six months since he'd had sex with another person, screamed at him that Tyler was right here, right now and that he'd be a fool to pass that up.
You already feel like today was a real date when it wasn't. Adding sex on top will not help matters, said the sane portion of his brain.
Fuck that and fuck him, urged his dick, which shouldn't get a vote but wanted one anyway.
Oh, go ahead. What harm could it do? said the rest of his brain. Tellingly, Josh heard that in Tyler’s voice.
Sorry, sanity. You've been outvoted.
Josh grabbed Tyler’s hips, then swiveled them both so Tyler’s back was to the wall. “You’re being greedy,” he said. “It's my turn.”
“All right,” Tyler said. “Fair’s fair.” He smiled his siren’s smile and even the sane portion of Josh’s brain shut up.
Want. That thought pulsed through him, drowning out everything else. Just want and now.
Josh bent down and captured Tyler’s mouth with his own. His tongue licked along Tyler’s lips until his mouth opened with a sexy little moan that shot straight to Josh’s dick. Josh’s tongue slid inside and he resumed learning Tyler’s mouth and how he liked to kiss and be kissed. Tyler see
med hesitant, almost fastidious, which Josh found intriguing. For someone who had hopped up on his lap with no prompting and gave blow jobs like an expensive whore, Tyler kissed like a shy virgin. It made Josh want to kiss him more, to see if that reticence was real or another act. Josh felt like he could kiss Tyler for hours, just trying to figure him out, but at the same time he wanted to taste every inch of him.
I have time, he assured himself. More than enough time. But there was an urgency inside himself that denied that. Hurry, it whispered back. Hurry before he changes his mind. Hurry before the ball is snatched away.
Josh’s lips trailed down Tyler’s jaw, catching on the slight roughness of the late-day stubble there. His thumbs ran along the ridges of Tyler’s collar bones, then he traced each one with his tongue before sucking at the hollow of Tyler’s throat. He started to remove Tyler's shirt to give him better access, but Tyler stopped him.
“Touch me,” Tyler said. “I swear to God I will die if you don't touch me right fucking now.” He made begging sound like a demand.
Josh’s hands smoothed down Tyler’s sides, then reached behind to squeeze Tyler’s ass and cradle his narrow hips. “I am touching you.”
“I want you to touch my cock, you ass,” Tyler said, his voice edging toward a whine. He bucked his hips, held as they were in Josh’s loose grip.
Josh widened his stance and lifted Tyler and shoved him against the wall, then leaned in so he could rub their erections together. Even through layers of cotton and denim it was almost too much. “Was that what you wanted?” Josh asked.
“Fucking tease,” Tyler panted. His legs encircled Josh’s hips and he clung on like a barnacle. Tyler grabbed Josh’s face and pulled him in for another kiss, this time with a feverish ferocity that was the polar opposite of his earlier diffidence. The contrast drove Josh wild. When he pulled back, Tyler demanded, “Get on your goddamn knees and suck my cock.”
“You’re such a bossy little bastard,” Josh said, pretending like the orders coming out of Tyler’s mouth weren't hot as fuck.