The Hen Party

by Cathy Bramley

  Thank goodness I had opted for caterers, I thought, blotting my eye with a tissue, I couldn’t even be trusted with empty plates.

  When I straightened up from clattering crockery and slamming the oven door, still with one hand pressed to my eye, there was a strange man in the unlit hallway.

  ‘Oh, hello!’ I said, startled.

  He was wearing a trendy cap pulled low over his eyes, a bright white shirt and a black dinner suit with a satin stripe down the side of the trousers. A lovely smell wafted off him into the kitchen: warm and spicy and totally delicious.

  ‘I wasn’t sure where to go,’ he said. ‘I did knock.’

  ‘I had my head in the oven.’ I blinked at him, trying to clear my vision. ‘Not for suicidal purposes, you understand.’

  ‘I understand.’ His lips twitched. He had nice lips, smiley and full, and lovely white teeth. ‘Where shall I set up?’

  ‘Set up?’ I stared at him, shadowy and mysterious in the gloom, and it suddenly dawned on me who this was. ‘Oh, set up.’

  Catherine’s surprise: the male stripper.

  I bet the satin stripes on his trousers were to hide the Velcro; one tug and – whoosh – they’d be off. I wished Catherine had told me he was coming so early. Deliciously Devon would be here any second with the food. What was I supposed to do with him while they were eating?

  ‘Follow me,’ I said, squeezing past him into the hallway. I swept an arm towards the living room. ‘You can get undressed in there out of the way.’

  His hands flew to the lapels of his jacket. ‘You have got to be joking.’

  ‘Sorry, what did you expect – a dressing room with light-bulbs around the mirror? This is a Devon long house not the Folies Bergère.’

  ‘I’ll keep my clothes on, if it’s all the same to you. And I expected a table at the very least,’ he said crossly. ‘We’re talking some very hot stuff, and it could get messy.’

  I tried not to look shocked. Perhaps he was one of those strippers who uses fire-eating in their act, or snakes. Where on earth had Catherine found him? And more to the point, why? I couldn’t imagine Sapphire being up for anything like this, except maybe the snake part, she did seem to have a thing about animals.

  ‘No way,’ I said with a shudder. ‘I’ve heard of people who parade up and down tables waving their pants in the air. Well, not here you don’t. You’ll just have to keep your feet on the ground.’

  ‘Jeez.’ The man backed away towards the door. ‘I don’t know who your normal caterers are but I’ve already said, I am not taking my clothes off.’

  Caterers?

  ‘Oh my God. Are you from Deliciously Devon?’

  ‘Yes.’ He smirked. ‘Who were you expecting, Magic Mike?’

  I blinked my blurry eye and gradually the man’s features came into focus. A wave of horror crept up from my toes to my face as he took his hat off. A pair of hazel eyes stared back at me.

  ‘Jude? I’m so sorry. What are you doing here? I’m confused, I thought you were a social worker,’ I stammered.

  ‘I am. As well.’ He ruffled a hand through his dark hair: short at the sides and springy on top. He had a long thin scar just above his ear. His face spread into a smile. ‘And I thought you were a mermaid. I didn’t recognize you with your clothes on. And aren’t you the one I nearly drove into the back of, last Friday?’

  ‘Er …?’ Was that only last week? I was sure Devon must run on a different calendar system; I felt like I’d been here for ever. Also, I’d never seen Jude’s face properly close up. He was strikingly attractive. I pulled myself together. ‘For a caterer you seem over-dressed and under-catered. Where’s the food?’

  ‘Is the suit too much?’ Jude looked down at his suit and rubbed his chin and I regretted making him feel awkward. ‘Sorry.’

  ‘You look very smart.’ Gorgeous actually. The T-shirt and jeans I’d seen him in previously showed off his muscles, but in a suit … my insides were doing somersaults.

  ‘I wasn’t sure what to wear,’ he continued. ‘With Angie being away and me just standing in.’

  Just standing in … the somersaults stopped instantly.

  ‘I might faint,’ I whispered. I could feel myself going hot and then cold. The pain in my eye paled into insignificance. ‘I can’t believe I’ve entrusted Sapphire’s dinner party to a bad-tempered social worker.’

  ‘Who says I’m bad-tempered?’ He looked affronted. ‘I’m very easy going. Well, unless someone annoys me and then I can’t help speaking my mind.’

  The inside of my mouth had gone so dry I could barely get my words out. I went back into the kitchen and started pacing back and forth.

  ‘At the risk of annoying you, you’re not a chef so who cooked dinner? It takes real skill to cook Asian food properly. I thought I was phoning professional caterers this morning to come to my rescue, but this … this is a disaster.’

  He leaned on the doorframe and folded his arms, casually. ‘I have come to your rescue. Although I’m not sure whether to be flattered or insulted that the first thing you did when I came through the door was to ask me to get naked.’

  ‘Sorry.’ I swallowed the lump in my throat. ‘I’m on edge. This is such a big booking for Brightside Holidays, I’m trying to help Theo put this place on the map and—’

  ‘I’ll stop you there, calm down,’ he said, striding across the kitchen. He placed his hands on my arms and breathed in through his nose and blew out through his mouth, nodding at me to do the same. ‘Deep breaths. That’s it. I am not a stripper, and you’re right, I’m not a chef. But—’

  I whimpered at that but he guided me gently towards the front door. A dark blue van with Deliciously Devon painted in silver in large letters down the side of it was parked in the courtyard.

  ‘When you rang this morning I did try to fob you off but you were getting upset and I felt duty bound to help.’

  ‘Thank you,’ I said on an out-breath. ‘What a kind thing to do.’

  I could have kissed him. Although I still hadn’t seen any sign of the food.

  He rubbed the back of his neck shyly. ‘No problem. Anyway, I like a challenge so I used my initiative and – feast your eyes on this!’

  He opened up the back of the van with a flourish to reveal six cardboard boxes printed with the logo of a Thai restaurant.

  ‘A takeaway?’ My jaw dropped; my fancy dinner party was courtesy of the Siam Palace takeaway. ‘You ordered in?’

  He gave me a lopsided smile, which pushed a dimple into his cheek. ‘Okay, I bent the rules a bit. But it is the best takeaway in Devon. All authentic, all homemade by a lady from Chang Mai. Had to drive nearly forty miles for this.’ He pointed to the heated pads underneath the boxes. ‘But don’t worry, it’ll be piping hot.’

  I felt myself calming down. Catherine had said Sapphire loved this sort of food and if the aroma was anything to go by it was going to be delicious. Everything would be fine. Better than fine. It would be a huge success.

  ‘You,’ I said, throwing my arms round his neck, ‘are a hero.’

  ‘All in a day’s work.’ Jude laughed softly in my ear. ‘Cash most welcome.’

  There was a cough from behind us and I turned to see Theo watching us, a concerned frown on his face.

  ‘Deliciously Devon has arrived!’ I said brightly.

  ‘So I see,’ said Theo with a thin smile. ‘Just in time, the ladies are asking if dinner is nearly ready.’

  ‘It is,’ said Jude, picking up two boxes at once. I picked up a third. ‘All we need to do is transfer it from the takeaway cartons.’

  Theo’s face folded into a frown. ‘Takeaway?’

  ‘Stand aside.’ I winked at him as we walked past to go inside. ‘Hot stuff coming through.’

  Two hours later, the girls were getting ready to go back to Penguin’s Pad to play some after-dinner games Catherine had planned. No male nudity whatsoever. I needn’t have worried. About anything. Theo and Jude were clearing up while I made up some pots of coff
ee for them to take over. I’d been on the go all day and felt exhausted. But happy. Very happy. Tonight couldn’t have gone any better if I’d brought in the royal caterers to the Queen. Sapphire had loved the decorations, the food had been declared delicious and so authentic, and the conversation had been lively and full of fun.

  Sapphire wrapped me in a hug as she stood to leave.

  ‘Thank you so much for tonight. I can scarcely move,’ she groaned, patting her tiny taut stomach. ‘Your caterer is amazing and so knowledgeable about Thai food.’

  ‘I’ll pass it on,’ I said, somehow managing to keep my face straight. What she hadn’t seen was Jude whipping his takeaway menu out of his jacket pocket every now and then to remind himself what all the dishes were called. I was proud of both men; he and Theo had done a sterling job and had been really good sports amidst all the teasing and banter you’d expect from an excitable group of girls who, by Catherine’s reckoning, were now on bottle of champagne number thirty-five.

  ‘You’ve made a good impression on our guests,’ I said when I handed Jude an envelope full of cash to cover his hastily scribbled invoice. ‘When is Angie coming back? Just in case next time you can’t rely on the takeaway.’

  ‘End of June, so try not to call until then, I can’t take the pressure.’ He grinned, reaching a hand instinctively to where the thin silver scar traced a line above his ear. His hazel eyes were framed by strong brows and crinkled at the corners when he smiled. He bristled with energy. Shorter and stockier than Theo but in a good way. In a solid muscly good way. ‘But in the meantime we could catch up over coffee one day, or a drink at The Sea Urchin?’

  I was taken aback. Eliza had implied that he kept himself to himself, that he preferred his dog to people. Having said that, I’d found him nothing but charming tonight and I’d really like a chance to get to know him better.

  ‘Sure,’ I said with a shy smile.

  ‘I know Deliciously Devon didn’t quite supply what you were hoping for tonight but …’

  Oh, I don’t know.

  ‘But there might be more opportunity for us to work together as Brightside Holidays grows?’

  So he wanted to talk business … My smile slipped a bit.

  ‘I’d like that,’ I managed to say brightly.

  He picked up the box containing the food warmers he’d borrowed from the Siam Palace and I followed him outside.

  ‘I’d like to find out more about the lifeboat house too. You seemed really upset that it’s for sale?’

  Jude’s brow furrowed instantly as he slid the box into the back of the van. ‘Yeah, I am. Long story, but I don’t want to see it sold. It’s such a great place, full of possibility.’ He stopped suddenly as if a thought had occurred to him. ‘How are you fixed to come and see it now – just you and me?’

  He smiled at me in the darkness and a cool breeze fluttered over my bare skin still hot from an evening of hostessing. The sky was clear, a pale moon sat regally amongst the stars, in the distance I could hear the gentle roar of the waves and the air was fragrant with wild garlic, bluebells and the ever-present aroma of the sea. A walk on the beach with Jude would be lovely.

  ‘Why not?’ I felt my insides ping. ‘Come back in while I fetch a jacket.’

  Theo was in the hallway waiting for us.

  ‘Nina,’ he said abruptly, ‘I need to talk to you about something as soon as the ladies have gone.’

  ‘But I was about to go out with Jude.’

  ‘It can’t really keep,’ he added. ‘It’s about Kate.’

  ‘Sure,’ I said, swallowing my disappointment. ‘I’ll be right there.’

  ‘No worries. We’ll do it another time,’ Jude murmured. He picked up his dinner jacket from the chair in the hall and shrugged his arms into it. ‘I’ll be off.’

  The girls appeared en masse from the kitchen ready to go back to the cottages.

  ‘Do you have to go?’ Ruby sidled up to him and stroked his arm. ‘Catherine wants us to play boring games. We need a man to liven things up.’

  ‘I don’t think so,’ Jude laughed shyly.

  I stifled a smile. For some reason I didn’t like to dwell on, I didn’t want him to join them.

  ‘Oh, I insist!’ Sapphire called from the doorway, beaming. ‘It’s been such a fun evening.’

  ‘And the fun is only just beginning,’ said Catherine mischievously.

  ‘Kidnap him!’ yelled Belinda, one of the Maidens of Mayfair cast. And then a gang of women descended on him and Jude, with a silly grin on his face, disappeared into a sea of blonde hair, false eyelashes and rather a lot of bosom.

  ‘This is refreshing,’ I said, pulling the collar up on my jacket; the breeze down on the beach was much sharper than at Driftwood Lodge. ‘After the heat of that kitchen.’

  Theo and I were padding across the soft sand. It was after eleven o’clock and unsurprisingly it was deserted. The cove was in darkness, just the reflection of the moon on the water and the occasional flash of light from ships far away on the horizon. I was intrigued to find out what Theo wanted to tell me. It must be serious; he’d been very adamant about talking to me immediately. I was a willing listener, but a part of me couldn’t help wondering what might have happened if it had been Jude on the beach with me instead.

  Theo shook out a rug he’d brought in a rucksack and set it down on a dry part of the beach in the shelter of the rocks. I sat down obediently and pulled my knees up to my chest.

  He drew a bottle of wine and two plastic cups from his rucksack and poured us both a drink. I wished he’d brought a flask of tea instead. Or some strong caffeine to keep me awake.

  ‘So what did you want to talk about?’ I said with a yawn.

  He sipped his wine and looked out to sea.

  ‘Since the call came from London about this hen weekend we’ve hardly had a chance to think. I thought it would be nice to share a moment.’

  ‘It is,’ I agreed. Although right now I was thinking about what Jude was getting up to with eleven women and Catherine’s games.

  ‘I think they’ve enjoyed it,’ he said, settling back against the rock. ‘You were wrong, you see, about your London friends wanting posh restaurants and shops. That quiet one, Virginia, said she’d never been anywhere so quaint.’

  ‘Theo,’ I said softly, ‘I thought you wanted to talk about Kate?’

  He knocked his wine back and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. ‘I do. I think she’s trying to tell me something.’

  I sat forward, all ears. ‘Has she been in touch?’

  He shook his head and cast his eyes down. ‘Not at all. Which is my point. The last email I had from her was that one about Bruce Nutley’s booking. At the time she said some nice things. That she was pleased I was making a go of the business and finally thinking about the future. But I’ve emailed her several times since, keeping her updated, asking her opinion, and she’s ignored them all. Reading between the lines, I think what she meant before was that she was glad I was managing without her because perhaps she has no intention of coming back.’

  ‘That’s quite a leap.’ I blinked at him. ‘She’s miles away, Theo. Give her a chance.’

  ‘I’ve given her several chances. I even sent her a message this afternoon letting her know that Brightside Holidays has gone live on the Coastal Cottages website. Still nothing. I mean, that was her ultimate dream. And I’ve done it. We’ve done it. You and me.’

  ‘But the time difference, access to the internet … there could be a perfectly reasonable explanation for her silence. Perhaps she’s ill?’

  He looked up at me, almost hopeful for a second, and then shrugged.

  ‘Time to face facts, Nina. She obviously no longer cares about me or our marriage. Which made me think: perhaps she was right to leave me, perhaps without Ivy, our family can never be fixed.’

  I could see how much it hurt him to utter these words. Maybe this was a self-preservation thing; preparing himself for the worst. Just in case. But I didn’t th
ink the worst would happen, he was simply over-reacting.

  I covered his hand with mine. ‘Don’t say that. Look how far you’ve come in these last few weeks. You’ve been on fire since the hen party arrived. And when Kate comes back you’ll be able to pour that same energy into your marriage.’

  Theo’s curls riffled in the wind and he laughed softly to himself.

  ‘At first all this hard work was to impress Kate, to win her back. I took on board her ultimatum and together you and I have smashed it. But I realized today that I’m not doing it for her any more. I’m doing it because I want it. I want a life here.’

  ‘That’s good!’ I clonked my plastic cup against his. ‘That’s really good news.’

  ‘I think so.’ Theo smiled shyly. ‘And if Kate doesn’t want me, then there are plenty more fish in the sea.’

  That was an unexpected plot twist. I’d given up my time – willingly, admittedly – to rise to the challenge of Kate’s ultimatum. With the sole purpose of reuniting two people who loved each other. Not to groom Theo ready for the dating scene. I wasn’t sure quite what to say.

  He topped up both of our wines, although mine was barely touched. ‘You love it down here too, don’t you?’

  Behind him, the lights from the village twinkled on the clifftops; above us, the moon reigned over a velvet sky sparkling with stars and at our feet gentle waves lapped at the shore. No TV location manager could have done a better job of creating a romantic scene.

  He reached towards me and brushed a stray hair from my cheek and my heart thumped.

  ‘I love it.’ My voice came out as a squeak.

  ‘Perhaps you could stay?’ he murmured. ‘For ever.’

  A seagull squealed from the rocks behind us and the harsh noise startled us both. I leapt to my feet. ‘We ought to be getting back.’

  He jumped to his feet. ‘You’re right. Of course, let’s go.’

  ‘Please don’t give up on your marriage,’ I said, as we repacked his rucksack. ‘I came here to help you win Kate back. That’s still our goal, isn’t it?’

  He nodded but didn’t meet my eye. ‘But what happens if she’s removed the goalposts altogether?’