No Fear

by Heather Allen

  She shifts under the covers, straddling my lower body and making sure to stay away from my ribs. I laugh as the rest of me responds to the movement. I will definitely never get enough of her. I place my hand on the back of her head, encouraging her toward me. “Come here so I can kiss you.”

  ***

  We go over our story one last time before getting out of the truck at exactly one o’clock in the parking lot of Mario’s Restaurant. There’s no sign of Trinity yet, but she might already be in the building, waiting for us. Christina takes one more swipe of my cheek with the powder from her compact. I think it’s pointless, but she swears it helps to disguise some of the bruising. It doesn’t matter. Trinity is going to freak, no matter what.

  A hostess leads us to the table reserved under Trinity’s name. The room is decorated with old photos of Italian origin. As we pass through a narrow hall lined with them, a black and white one grabs my attention; a younger version of Luciano stares back. As I scan others lining the opposite wall, I realize exactly who this restaurant belongs to, and I don’t like it one bit. We approach the table and I notice that, not only is Trinity there, but Parker is sitting next to her. Their backs are facing us, and his hand holds onto hers at the edge of the table. For some reason I thought I was ready for this, but now I’m second guessing myself. We are all so far over our heads in this fucked-up situation. Christina must see it all over my face, because she grabs my hand and whispers, “Don’t worry, it’ll all work out.”

  I’m not so sure it will, actually. I scan the room one last time. The walls half made of brick are covered with black and whites—no doubt old mob photos. This is so much bigger than us. Half the tables have diners enjoying an afternoon meal. I can tell, scanning the faces and rich clothing, many of them must have a place with Luciano. How was I so blind to all of this before?

  Parker stands as we walk up. His stare meets mine, full of sympathy. My sister, though, starts as soon as she spots me. “Greylan, oh my god. What? What happened?” She walks around the table, furious. I try to pull her into my arms in a hug, but she hits my chest. I wince with the pain. She puts her hands to her face. “Oh god, I’m sorry.” She looks around, aware that other people are looking our way. Parker encourages her to sit back down. He shoots a pissed off look my way. I get why he’s mad, but I can’t help it. If he were in my position, he would have found another way to fight, just as I did. I wonder in that moment if he knows everything about the fighting and the beating, if he knew what was going to happen. I hate him even more now.

  Once we’re all situated and drinks are ordered, Trinity starts in on me. “What the hell, Greylan? I want to know everything. No more secrets or lies. I’m tired of this. We’re family and you can’t just shut me out!”

  I glance around the room, now paranoid about our surroundings. I had a plan and now I’m second guessing every decision I’ve made. I look to Parker for help, but his lips remain in a tight line. A tiny part of me wants to just let it all out, to tell her everything and let the cards lie where they fall. Unfortunately, I care too much. I can’t take the chance. Christina gives my hand a squeeze under the table. This gives me a little more strength.

  “Trin, I’ve been fighting underground. I wasn’t getting enough fights on the circuit.” I figure the least amount of information I offer, the better. She has other thoughts.

  “God dammit. Grey. Isn’t it enough that you made it pro? Why would you go backwards? That’s an insult to where you are, isn’t it? Why can’t you just be happy with what you have? I can’t believe you.”

  Her words, as much as I don’t like them, have truth. For a long time now, I haven’t been willing to settle for what I have. For the time being I will, but I’m not done—not by a long shot.

  “You’re right, Trinity. I’ve always wanted more. I’m going to settle now.”

  I scan the other patrons, wondering if anyone is listening in. It doesn’t matter, because I’m telling her only a small bit of the truth. It has to be like this, for the moment anyway.

  “The first thing you need to know is that Christina and I have decided that we’re going to make a go of it.” I look to Christina and use my sister’s words. “She’s it for me.” As I shift my gaze across the table, I watch her emotions change. I can see Parker’s smirk out of the corner of my eye. He shakes his head, understanding my tactic.

  It works. She starts smiling and looking back and forth between Christina and me. She asks, looking to Christina. “Really?”

  Christina nods. “Yep. The rookie finally realized what was in front of him all along. Took him long enough.”

  “I told you, Grey; when you know, you just do. We all have someone.” I drown out her banter about ‘meant to be’ and other things she tried to sell me on in the past. I believe her now. It took this long, as well as Christina shoving it in my face to see it, but I believe it now.

  Our food arrives and Parker leans over, commenting. “Dude, why didn’t you just start with that?” I shrug while taking a bite of my pasta dish. I still hate Parker. The guy really didn’t do anything to me on purpose except take my spot at the top, but now I don’t even want it. Too many things have turned me off to the guy. Now I think we have to make some decisions together, though. I’ll just get my ass killed if I can’t get him on board with my plan.

  We make small talk through lunch until Trinity starts talking about the wedding. It’s scheduled exactly a month from today. I wish she would just call it off now. The less she has to do with Luciano the better, but I can’t ask her to do that without telling her everything.

  As the afternoon draws out, Trinity settles back into her usual self. She asks Christina if she’ll come to her bachelorette party. Wholeheartedly Christina agrees. I have other thoughts if a certain redhead is involved, which I’m sure she is. Now that I’m more aware of everything—all the things Meyer could have told me a long time ago—my guard is up big time. I can’t put any of them in danger. However, my sister, isn’t aware she’s at the heart of it all, which is why she can’t know yet. I think the minute she finds out everything will shift, and not in our favor.

  As lunch winds down, Parker leans in again. He looks nervous. “Can I talk to you before you head out?” I nod in response. The guy hasn’t said more than ten words to me since we’ve been here. I’m glad he’s the one suggesting we talk. It’ll make what I have to say easier.

  Trinity takes Christina out onto the veranda in the back of the restaurant, which overlooks a lighted fountain. She seems so excited about the wedding. It breaks my heart that she’s getting her dream wedding under false pretenses.

  As soon as they are out of ear shot Parker states, “Okay, first I have to ask. I know you mentioned it to Trinity, but will you give her away at the wedding?”

  I’m a little shocked by his question. I can’t help the shitty grin that crosses my mouth.

  “I know, why the hell would I ask? You hate me and I’m not a real big fan of yours. Just think of Trinity. She wanted me to be the one to ask you. She doesn’t like that we’re not close.” He defends himself.

  “I never said I hated you, dude.”

  He looks sideways at me. I laugh out loud. “Okay, you’re right; let’s call it mutual.”

  I sigh and start in. “Regarding Trinity, though, when she finds out about all this shit, she’s gonna be pissed, especially about this junk—doing shit that isn’t real, just because of her. Of course I’ll walk her. I told her I would. There’s no one else. You know this about her. And if you don’t, you don’t deserve her.”

  “Greylan, I don’t know what you’re thinking, but she can’t ever find out.” His words make me realize this is going to be a lot harder than I had first thought. Fuck.

  I lean closer. “Parker, what do you think is going to happen? Do you think that you’ll fight for them forever and stay where you are, always? Everyone loses at some point and, when you do, they’ll be done. What will you do then? ” I throw his words back at him. “Think of Trini
ty.”

  He narrows his eyes into a glare. A few minutes pass before he leans back, a smug smile on his lips. “You don’t get it, do you? Still, even after the beating, you’re just gonna go and do whatever the fuck you want, aren’t you?”

  I cross my arms, determined not to let him get to me. This is the opposite of what I had hoped. He’s in deeper than I had thought. The mention of the beating makes me hate him so much more, knowing that he let it happen and even knew about it.

  “What will you do Parker, if Trinity finds out?”

  He looks around before coming closer again. “So help me Greylan, if you tell her…”

  I realize then that Parker is going to be of no help in my plan, which sucks but doesn’t make things terrible—just less convenient. I do worry about Trinity, though, because now I don’t think she’ll ever forgive him. I stand, done with this conversation. “Parker, I’ll be in the wedding for Trinity, because she requested me. I would suggest, though, that you really do some soul searching and decide what is most important.”

  I turn to meet the girls who are just stepping back into the restaurant. Christina has a sneaky grin on her face. What has she been up to?

  Chapter 20

  A week later, while I’m snuggling with Christina, a text comes through setting it all into motion. She grabs the phone before I can get to it, glancing at the screen. Confusion crosses her features. “What does a text from Frank with the name Andy mean?”

  “It’s nothing. Come back over here so I can kiss you.”

  “Oh, no you don’t, Greylan Pace Are you…are you going to fight again for those underground guys?”

  I get up, abruptly closing the distance between us. I grab the phone from her hands and place it back on the table. “Christina, I have to do this.”

  “No, you don’t. Did you not see yourself a week ago? Grey, it was just over a week ago that you got the shit beat out of you…with a bat. What the hell? They’ll kill you this time. Do you not understand that? I can’t lose you, not when I just got you.”

  I pull her into my chest. She sinks into me, sighing as the fight seeps away. I didn’t want her to know. It was best to keep her in the dark. Damn you, Frank. It’s not his fault, though. I’m making things worse by not letting her know.

  I pull away, placing my hands on her shoulders. “Can you sit down and I’ll explain?”

  She sinks to the couch, barely perched on the edge, ready to fight me again. I smile, loving this side of her. She is so feisty.

  “Listen, it isn’t what it seems, and you have to just trust me on this.” She shakes her head, fear filling her face.

  “I’m going to fight Andy again. He is the top of the underground—at least he was until I came along. The night you came and found me, it was our second fight. He won. The first though, I won. This is the tie breaker.”

  “Grey, this is all about your pride, isn’t it?” She shakes her head, standing and skirting out of my reach. “As much as it will break my heart, I can’t be a part of this. I won’t sit back while you get yourself killed, just because you had to prove to whomever that you could beat this guy Andy.”

  I smile, loving and hating this. I follow her into the foyer and corner her body against the wall before she can climb up the stairs. I push in closer. blocking with my arms on either side of her head. “Now that I have a captive audience, I’ll explain. You are the most important thing to me right now, Christina. I won’t live without you, so think about that. As for my pride, Andy deserves an ass beating, I definitely agree with that, but that isn’t what this is about. I have to get out to protect you and Trinity. This is the only way I know how.”

  She meets my stare throughout my explanation. When I finish, she twists her bottom lip in her teeth. I lean in to her ear. “You won’t lose me, I promise.”

  Finally, as I take a step back, it’s as if she finally gets it. Her face registers understanding and a smile spreads. “Is this guy, Andy, that good?”

  I nod.

  “Will he go along with the plan?” I love this girl. I didn’t even have to spell it out and she figured it out.

  “Nope, he hates me.”

  “Then how will we get him to agree to switch to Pro?”

  This is the best part, in my opinion. It took a long time for me to come to terms with Jackson’s and Jimmy’s plan. I didn’t want Jackson anywhere near my life as it stands now, but he refused to leave and they put things into motion before I had a chance to protest. Now, though, I’m convinced it’s all going to work out. It has to.

  “Jackson.” She steps into me and places her hands on my shoulders. I lean in and she whispers. “You are one sneaky rookie.”

  “Come here, you. I don’t think you realize when you talk like that I just want to eat you up.”

  Our lips meld together with familiarity. I could never get enough of her. As Trinity said, she’s it for me. With every cell of my being, I know this. I put my hands on her ass, lifting so her legs wrap around my waist. I know I can’t get us up the stairs just yet, with my injuries still healing. I opt for the couch, sinking into her as I place her on her back. Slowly I remove each piece of clothing and laboriously kiss my way up each leg before sinking into her soft folds. There is no way I would do anything to jeopardize this woman, who I can call mine. She is everything.

  ***

  The fight with Andy is planned for the week after Trinity’s wedding. I would have liked a little more time, but I have to take what I can get. Now everything else has to fall into place. The first step, which I couldn’t bring myself to tell Christina about, is getting more fights on the pro circuit. She would never let me go through with everything if she knew about all of it.

  I make the call I’ve been dreading since I met with Jimmy and Jackson. I would have liked Jimmy to have done the dirty work, but he says he doesn’t have pull with Luciano. Meyer is still missing, so it’s up to me.

  The phone is picked up on the second ring. “Hello.” Her smooth crisp voice brings back memories that I’ve been successful at shutting out.

  “Mollie, it’s Greylan.”

  “Hello, Greylan.”

  “I was wondering if we can meet. I need to talk to you.” I’m counting on the guilt to make her agree to meet me. I know it’s back-handed, but she had a large part in my life taking the turn it did. Hopefully, she’ll see things the way I do and feel the need to make it up to me.

  The line is silent. It feels like twenty minutes pass before she answers, but I know it’s only seconds. This is the point of no return.

  “Yes, we can meet. When and where?” I can hear her hesitation. I don’t care, though. As long as she agrees to my deal, we’ll be in good shape.

  “How about that little diner on the strip, tomorrow, noon.”

  “That will work. I’ll see you then.”

  I hang up before I lose my nerve. I dial Jimmy’s number.

  “Grey.”

  “It’s a go—tomorrow, noon at the diner on the strip.”

  “Well, good luck old buddy. I think it’s a fail-safe plan. You’ll be back in Jersey in no time.”

  I shake my head at Jimmy’s words. He always has way more confidence than is warranted. “Yeah dude, soon.”

  I hang up before he can add any ‘Jimmyisms.’ I can’t take him like I used to be able to. Maybe it’s the bad deals with him and Meyer. I’m not sure if I’ll ever be able to trust either one of them again.

  ***

  When I pull up to the diner, I check around to make sure no one I recognize is close. It has become a habit now. Not that I would recognize any of Luciano’s guys, anyway. There’s bound to be some around. Mollie, his daughter, is here after all. Although as things have happened, I’m not sure that means very much in the eyes of the mob. Business is business. And I’m counting on this fact.

  I walk to the booth where she’s already settled. She glances up at me with those bright green eyes full of hope, but her look quickly turns to sadness, dulling. Her hair is pu
lled back at the nape of her neck and, as far as I can tell, she’s dressed impeccably as usual with a cream sweater buttoned to her neck and a strand of pearls.

  “Hello Mollie.”

  “Hi Greylan.”

  I slide into the booth across from her. She seems so out of place in this restaurant, exactly what I was hoping for. She lifts a cup of coffee to her lips before setting it back down. She pushes her shoulders back, looking up at me. “I was surprised to get your call.”

  My brows go up. “Were you?”

  She looks away. I can’t help but feel sorry for her. This isn’t about that anymore. I’m in love with Christina. Anything I might have felt for Mollie went away a long time ago. She might have gotten a different idea about this meeting, but I doubt it.

  “I suppose maybe I knew it would happen sooner or later. You’re smart.”

  “Apparently not smart enough to avoid getting beat up by your father’s thugs.” My tone is angry.

  “Okay, I’ll bite. What do you want?” She ignores my comment and seems resigned, which is exactly where I need her to be.

  “I need more fights and you know if I ask for them, he’ll be suspicious.”

  She eyes me for a few beats. I’m not sure if she’ll agree to anything. This is asking for something huge.

  “This is going to change everything, isn’t it?” Her eyes linger on mine.

  I look away at the implication. I know I’m asking for a lot, and I think she realizes it too. But I have no other choice. If she doesn’t agree to this and follow through, the plan won’t work. There won’t be a plan.

  “I’m going to have to leave, won’t I?” I look back to her waiting stare. It’s pained but also determined.

  “Mollie, I don’t know about the dynamics of everything. Only you can answer that question. I didn’t sign up for this. But I have to do what is best for me now.” I hold my breath without even meaning to. This is decision time. Just like in the cage, waiting on the judges. Now, though, there are lives at stake.