A Heart Once Broken

by Jerry S. Eicher

  “Then your mamm approves of me?” Ezra raised his eyebrows in mock surprise. “Of me? Just think about that!”

  “You are so full of yourself this morning,” Lydia teased.

  “No, I’m just happy that I’m with you and that we’re on our way to look at a lovely farm—our future farm.”

  Lydia gave Ezra a shy look. “Did I miss something? If you’re taking me to see a farm that you might buy for us…shouldn’t we do something formal about…us?”

  Ezra grinned. “I think I’ve been plain enough about my intentions.”

  Lydia faked a glare. “I think we should…like, maybe…”

  Ezra’s laughter filled the buggy. “Okay, I give up.”

  “I mean, we do still have to say the wedding vows, so we still should…” Lydia stopped.

  Right now she wanted nothing more than for Ezra to take her in his arms and kiss her…but he wouldn’t do that. Not yet.

  Ezra kept a grin on his face as the miles rolled under the buggy wheels. Lydia leaned back and closed her eyes. Ezra would ask the question eventually. And then she would begin to plan the wedding. What a day that would be!

  A mile later Ezra pulled back on the reins and turned into the driveway of a well-kept farm on River Road. The trimmed white house stood back from the road, with small bushes and a rail fence. The porch went all the way around the side and was wide enough for a front porch swing. There was no swing there now, but Ezra would add one right away, Lydia was sure.

  “Here it is,” Ezra proclaimed. “Do you like it?”

  “Oh yes! But I’d like to see the inside,” she said, still thinking about the unasked question that would settle whether she would live in this house. Ezra was a German-stubborn man, but surely he would ask the question soon.

  Lydia jumped down to get a better look. They’d have to make a lot of changes to the place. The power pole would have to go, of course. And all the signs of electric power. The hitching post will go right here, Lydia decided. She could see their guests arriving already. Sandra would tie up her horse and run toward the house while Lydia rushed outside to greet her. Sandra would have her bobbli along, because she was already showing at the last Sunday meeting. Such things were all hush-hush in the community, but the obvious was the obvious. Sandra had giggled when she caught Lydia’s eye. That was all the answer she needed. Sandra was happy with Clyde, and Lydia would also be happy here in this place. She already knew that. Ezra would be here, and that would be enough.

  “I’m glad you like it,” Ezra whispered in her ear.

  “You still haven’t asked the question,” Lydia reminded him.

  Ezra laughed. “No, I guess I haven’t, have I?”

  Lydia rolled her eyes. He was obviously teasing her. She wondered if he realized women had a limit when it came to teasing about marriage.

  “There’s no one home,” Ezra said, “and I have the keys. Let’s look inside.”

  Lydia relaxed and allowed the stillness of the farm to wrap itself around her as they walked up the porch steps.

  Ezra paused to unlock the front door, and stepped back to motion her inside.

  Lydia caught her breath. The house had appeared small from the outside, but the look had been deceptive. The living room was open and spread back toward the kitchen. They could easily have the church service inside the house. That was always a plus, since houses large enough to hold winter services were growing scarcer each year. She could hold her head high and announce that Ezra’s house was ready to take its place among the best. She could already see Bishop Henry standing at the kitchen entry to preach the closing Sunday message. They would spread the tables out afterward, and the married men could eat at one end and the married women at the other. There was also a basement. She had seen the outside entrance on the way in.

  “Like it?” Ezra asked.

  “I love it.” Lydia’s gaze swept the living room again.

  Ezra’s hold on her hand tightened. “Will you, then? Marry me, Lydia? And live in this house? With me and our kinner, if the Lord gives us any?”

  Lydia struggled to breathe. He had asked so suddenly, yet not so suddenly. The moment had been a long time coming, but now it was here.

  “Well, will you?” Ezra repeated. “I want you to be my frau, Lydia.”

  “Oh, Ezra. Yah! Of course I will! Oh, you’ve finally asked. Can I hug you?”

  As an answer, he wrapped his arms around her and Lydia buried her face in his chest. The sweet smell of straw and of the haymow filled her senses.

  “You wanted more, didn’t you?” he whispered in her ear.

  Lydia closed her eyes and lifted her face to his. For a long moment he didn’t move. Then he kissed her gently. When he drew back, Lydia opened her eyes to gaze into his. “Ezra, I’m so very happy!”

  “You deserve happiness,” he said, wrapping her in another tight hug. He let go and said, “Now that you’ve had your wish, shall we look at the rest of the house?”

  “I already like it,” she said, “but your desire is my command.”

  He took her hand in his. “I do desire it.”

  “Then so shall it be.” Lydia smiled up at him, and they walked on toward the kitchen together.

  Chapter Forty-Two

  Lydia trembled as Ezra held her hand on the short walk to the pole barn. The time for the evening meal on her wedding day had arrived. The warm Indian summer days of a late October sky hung over their heads. She had never trembled before at Ezra’s touch, but Ezra had never been her husband until today. Bishop Henry had declared them man and wife this morning, and she still hadn’t gotten her breath back. Ezra wasn’t supposed to hold her hand. Not with all the community people gathered in the yard around them. But of late, Ezra did what he wanted. Deacon Schrock stood beside the pole barn door and smiled as they approached. Ezra would get away with his capers as usual.

  Ezra let go when they entered the pole barn, where they slid behind the corner table again. Their two witness couples came in from either side with big grins on their faces. Emma had been persuaded to serve for her side of the family, along with Marlon, the younger son of Deacon Schrock. They seemed to have gotten along well today, but you couldn’t always tell with Emma. Lydia wouldn’t get her hopes up. Emma likely wouldn’t go any further with the relationship. She had her heart set firmly on jumping the fence. Besides, Marlon was likely not interested in Emma.

  “Penny for your thoughts?” Ezra teased in Lydia’s ear.

  “Just thinking about Emma and Marlon,” Lydia whispered back.

  Ezra sobered. “Yah, there might be hope there. We must pray, I suppose.”

  As usual, Ezra understood perfectly and without much explanation. Lydia had noticed that quality about him this summer as their relationship progressed. Likely Ezra had always been that way, but she had failed to notice.

  The other witness couple was Ezra’s younger brother, Levi, and his girlfriend, Nancy. At the moment Levi was leaning around Nancy to whisper to Ezra. They both laughed at whatever Levi said. Ezra turned to Lydia and explained, “Levi was just reminding me of Uncle Elmo’s wedding story. At the evening meal, the older serving couple was so exhausted from the day’s events that the woman let the whole bowl of potato salad slip into Uncle Elmo’s lap. He had to go and change, and the hymn singing started without him.”

  Ezra waved to his uncle, and Lydia chuckled. Uncle Elmo must have figured out what all the commotion was about because he headed their way with his frau, Thelma, at his side.

  “Now stop laughing,” the man ordered his nephews. “I know what’s being said. My infamous wedding story.”

  “At least things turned out well,” Ezra teased. “You’re still married.”

  “And happily married even with the potato salad in his lap,” Thelma added.

  “Just think how much you would have missed in life without that potato salad story,” Levi said amid the laughter. “It’s been the icebreaker at many a family gathering, so what a blessing that potato salad
has turned out to be.”

  “Yep,” Uncle Elmo agreed. “I haven’t regretted a moment.”

  The laughter continued between them, until Uncle Elmo and Thelma moved along. Uncle Elmo turned around to quip, “Now, watch that potato salad bowl when it arrives.”

  “I will,” Ezra promised.

  The chuckles continued until Bishop Henry called for prayer. With the amen said, the meal began in earnest. Levi burst into laughter when the evening servers, who were none other than Lena and Bishop Henry himself, appeared with the first course of meat, potatoes, gravy, and potato salad.

  “What’s so funny?” Bishop Henry demanded. “Did I botch the prayer that badly, or is my suit coat stained with gravy? You can’t expect too much from an old man, you know.”

  Ezra chuckled. “It’s an old family joke. Uncle Elmo’s servers let fly the potato salad bowl, and it ended up in his lap. The poor fellow had to go change and missed out on the opening of his own evening wedding meal.”

  Bishop Henry smiled, but said, “You know how those tales grow with the telling. I remember that wedding, and there was a spoonful of potato salad involved. It dropped from your Uncle Elmo’s plate and onto the tabletop. He got a little splattered—that’s all.”

  “Isn’t that something?” Ezra grinned. “Here we have been told a tall tale all these years.”

  “Now don’t quote me on that.” Bishop Henry smiled. “I’m getting old, you know, and my memory often drifts at times.”

  “Just don’t drop the potato salad,” Ezra told him, and everyone laughed again.

  “That’s quite a treat, having the bishop serve us tonight,” Lydia said once things had quieted down.

  “He likes you.” Ezra glanced at Lydia out of the corner of his eye.

  Lydia punched him in the ribs. “The bishop likes you. That’s the reason he’s serving our table.”

  “I’m glad you know what a goot catch I am,” Ezra deadpanned.

  Lydia faked a horrified look. “You have become so conceited. I should tell the bishop.”

  Ezra laughed and said nothing more. He knew she liked his confident ways. Lydia was now married to the man of her dreams, and she would wake up tomorrow morning with Ezra in the house. She would fix breakfast for him, and they would say their first morning prayers together. She would have Ezra to herself all day. No longer would Ezra leave each Sunday evening or after he dropped her off at the house on a weeknight.

  Lydia focused her attention on Marlon, who was seated to her right. He had leaned over to whisper something to Emma, and the two laughed. Lydia waited until silence had fallen before she told Marlon, “Congratulations on your sister’s wedding announcement this past Sunday. I figured that was coming, but you never know.”

  “Yah.” Marlon smiled. “It’s been busy around the house all summer, but I guess that’s the way it goes.”

  “She’s getting a goot husband—a Troyer,” Lydia said.

  “Now look who’s conceited,” Ezra said. “Besides, you’re not a Troyer anymore. You’re a Wagler now.”

  “Oh, that’s right,’ Lydia said. “I forgot. I’m now Lydia Wagler.”

  “And don’t you forget it!” Ezra warned.

  “Ha! As if you’ll let me,” Lydia teased.

  Ezra gave Marlon a look. “See what you’re in for when you marry? Only married a few hours and she’s onto me.”

  Just then Bishop Henry and Lena reappeared with their arms filled with dessert bowls. “What have I missed?” the bishop demanded to know. “You’d best tell me, or there will be church trouble.”

  “Their first argument,” Marlon said. “Better sign them up for marriage counseling!”

  Ezra pretended to give Marlon a glare, and the bishop joined in their laughter. He set down his dessert bowls and Lena did likewise. “Goot to see you all having such fun tonight.” The bishop nodded his head to both Ezra and Lydia. “Both of you have come a long way, and have much to thank the Lord for.”

  “That we do,” Ezra agreed.

  “Yah, we do,” Lydia managed.

  Tears stung Lydia’s eyes at the bishop’s unexpected reminder. Indeed, how wunderbah the Lord had been to her. His blessings rose higher than she had imagined possible. She would not have experienced this if she had left the community with Rudy. Somehow, in some mysterious way, she had captured the affections of Ezra Wagler and was now his wife. She was at peace with her family and the community. There was also that wunderbah homeplace Ezra had purchased for them on River Road. She deserved none of these blessings. Not one of them.

  Ezra must have noticed the train of Lydia’s thoughts because he reached under the table to squeeze her hand. Lydia gave him the best smile she could muster. Thankfully Ezra didn’t make a further display of his affection where everyone could see them. He settled for a grin, and Lydia leaned against his shoulder for a moment. They finished their dessert in silence until Bishop Henry and Lena reappeared to remove the plates.

  “A blessing to you all!” Bishop Henry pronounced on them in parting.

  Lena added with a smile, “Welcome to the world of married life, Ezra and Lydia.”

  “Thank you,” Lydia replied. “That means so much to me coming from you.”

  Ezra confirmed the sentiment. “Yah, it does. We’re honored that you served us tonight.”

  “I wouldn’t have missed the chance.” Bishop Henry grinned and left with Lena close by his side.

  The singing began within minutes, and Lydia joined in. She couldn’t keep her gaze off of Ezra’s face, though. And he seemed to have the same problem with her. Their hands often found each other under the table, and Lydia hoped her face didn’t flush too much. Emma noticed, though, and smiled, which gave Lydia an idea.

  “Hold her hand,” Lydia whispered sideways to Marlon.

  He appeared startled, but moments later Emma’s face colored. Maybe Emma would fall in love with Marlon. Wouldn’t that be a decent accomplishment on her wedding day—along with saying the vows with Ezra?

  The songs continued, as did the glances between Ezra and Lydia. Lydia finally looked away and kept her gaze on the songbook. There was a limit to the attention even married couples could pay each other at their wedding supper. Time dragged, and slowly the clock on the pole barn wall crept toward nine o’clock.

  The parting song was given out on the dot of nine, as if everyone was ready to leave. But that didn’t happen once the song ended. The young people made their exit quickly enough, but the older people and the visitors from out of state lingered around the pole barn in deep conversation. One by one, people came by to shake the newlyweds’ hands and offer their blessings on the marriage.

  “You can leave if you want,” Ezra told the two witness couples around ten o’clock.

  “I’ve been enjoying myself too much,” Levi quipped, but he was the first to jump to his feet. The others followed him outside. Emma turned and gave a little wave of her hand, but Lydia saw that Emma’s other hand was still in Marlon’s. Lydia gave her sister a knowing grin.

  “You saw that too?” Ezra chuckled when Emma and Marlon had disappeared. “We must continue to pray for them.”

  Lydia took a deep breath. “Yah, and for Rhoda.” Her younger sister had served as a table waiter today and had left earlier, but Mamm and Daett had stayed to take Emma home. Mamm was still in conversation with Ruth Ann Schrock, so Emma would have a few moments to talk with Marlon in private. She hoped the conversation went well. Very well indeed!

  Ezra smiled and took Lydia’s hand under the table again. No one had come by for some time, and the pole barn was almost empty. They waited and waited until at last, Bishop Henry appeared and shooed the last stragglers out the door. He turned out most of the gas lanterns, but left one above their heads.

  “To show you the way out.” Bishop Henry grinned. “Your horse is ready, Ezra.”

  Ezra stood to take Lydia’s hand and lead the way to the buggy. Midnight pawed the ground as if he’d waited much too long. Lydia climbed in
while Ezra went to check on his horse. Ezra patted Midnight’s neck for a moment and whispered something. The horse calmed down, and Ezra came back to climb in the buggy.

  “Off we go,” Ezra said as he took up the lines. “To our new home, and our new life together.”

  Midnight dashed out of the driveway, and Ezra laughed as he held the lines tightly. The moon had risen above the horizon and hung on the tree line. Overhead the stars twinkled in the darkened sky. Lydia leaned against Ezra, and his arm draped around her shoulder.

  “Ezra, what did you see that morning you held Rosemary in your arms?” Lydia whispered.

  Ezra didn’t answer for a few moments. Lydia raised her head, and he finally spoke. “I saw glory shining in the sky, and I heard a little of what Rosemary must have heard. And I saw this—you and me, our life together.”

  “Would you have seen it otherwise?” Lydia sat up straight, but Ezra’s arm didn’t leave her shoulder.

  His voice was hushed. “I have always loved you, Lydia. You know that.”

  Lydia laid her head back on Ezra’s shoulder. “Somehow I understand.” No other words came, but no words were needed. Ezra clucked to Midnight, and they raced through the night with the beat of horse’s hooves and the whirl of buggy wheels beneath them.

  Discussion Questions

  1. What is your first impression of the rivalry between Lydia and Susan?

  2. What is your opinion of Rosemary’s decision to pursue Ezra while the cousins are occupied with their family’s financial problems? What was your first assumption as to where her dreams would lead?

  3. If you had been in Edna Troyer’s circumstances after Emil’s death, would you have accepted Amos Helmuth’s marriage proposal?

  4. What would you have done with Lydia’s rambunctious sisters, Emma and Rhoda?

  5. At the time Rosemary received the letter from Johnny Mast, the future was still unknown. Where did Rosemary find the strength to turn down Johnny for her seemingly useless pursuit of Ezra?

  6. Do Sandra’s strong negative reactions to both Amos and Clyde give any indications of her future acquiescence to both of their charms?