I'll Make You Mine

by Gia Riley

  While the nachos cook, I prepare myself for a complicated conversation about where we stand. I didn’t mean all the bullshit I said on the phone. I was pissed she left and made assumptions that weren’t true. At least I hope they weren’t true. But there’s no easy way to start this conversation, and like a dumbass, I blurt out the first thing that comes to mind. “How’s Chaz?”

  She drops her head to the table, groaning as she hides her face from me. “I fucked up, Dylan.”

  I drop the plate of chips all over the counter. “You slept with him?”

  Her head pops up, and she stares at me like I’m crazy. “I had sex one time, with you. That doesn’t automatically turn me into Keely.”

  “I’ve never slept with Keely,” I remind her.

  “I didn’t say you did. I’m pointing out that I’m not a slut.”

  Jesus, this isn’t going well. “No, you’re right. I’m sorry. My head’s been all over the place since I woke up.”

  “Mine too,” she admits. “Though I wouldn’t sleep with Chaz, even if you paid me.”

  “Because you’re only sleeping with me.”

  She shifts her eyes to the salt and pepper shakers, but I don’t miss them widen. “I’m not sure what I’m doing. Just be glad you’re not Chaz.”

  “What’s that supposed to mean?”

  “You’ll think less of me if I tell you,” she says with her eyes still on the condiments.

  Nothing could make me think less of her. “That’s not possible. What has you looking so sad?”

  “I’m not sad. I’m more embarrassed than anything. I had a weak moment.”

  “You’ll feel better once you get it off your chest. I always make it better, right?”

  “You can’t make it better this time, Dylan. I can’t take it back.”

  “Try me,” I tell her, not expecting her next words.

  “I put laxative in Chaz’s beer. Because of me, he can’t get off the toilet. Keely’s livid and said some hurtful things we’ll have to talk about later.”

  She glances at my face, trying to read my expression, but I wasn’t prepared for that kind of confession. Once I process Zoe’s dark side, all I can do is laugh. “I wish I would have thought of that myself. He had it coming.”

  Her head rests on the table again. “I’m not a revenge seeker, Dylan. I’m going to hell for this.”

  “Why’d you do it?”

  “Because he thinks every girl within a hundred mile radius wants him. As soon as he saw me, he was checking out my boobs. And his comments, ugh. They’re disgusting. My sister can’t love him. He’ll hurt her. I know he will.”

  I pull the nachos out from under the broiler, setting them in front of her. She stares at the plate but doesn’t reach for a chip. “Don’t even tell me you’re not hungry. You were a couple minutes ago.”

  “I’m eating, jeez. Help me, though. You made a lot.”

  I sit in the chair across from her and see the remorse in her eyes. If I say the wrong thing, she’ll break down and cry. I feel it. “Like you said, Chaz isn’t a great guy. What you did wasn’t ideal, but Keely will get over it. Chaz will too, once he stops shitting.”

  “You make it sound so simple,” she mutters around a mouthful.

  “It is. So what’s really bothering you?” There’s gotta be more. She wouldn’t have put laxative in Chaz’s drink without a damn good reason. Him checking her out doesn’t seem like enough. He’s done that before and she didn’t send him to the bathroom without warning.

  “You.”

  That’s the last thing I expect her to say. I thought maybe it was stress or Keely, but me? I don’t know what to do with that. She has to give me more than that. “Me? How so?”

  “I don’t want you to think less of me. Keely said she wouldn’t tell Chaz about the laxative. She’ll let him believe he has food poisoning.”

  It’d take a lot more than that for me to think less of her. Nothing Zoe could do would make me want her any less than I already do. “Was he that bad?”

  “He shit his pants on the couch,” she whispers like if she says it too loud, it’ll happen again, or worse.

  Choking on the chip in my mouth, I smack my palm against the table to get it down. “Zoe, I could never think less of you. In fact, I think I like you even more. But now that I know what you’re capable of, I’ll have to be extra nice.”

  She smiles one of those smiles only I get to see. “You’re always nice. Now keep eating.”

  We sit in comfortable silence for a few minutes before our feet touch under the table. Her eyes sparkle when she kicks my shin out of the way, and just like that, we’re back to the way things were before we got naked.

  But just as we make it through the awkward phase, my phone makes a weird noise. Zoe grabs it off the table and swipes her finger across the screen. “What’s this alert for?”

  I try to grab the phone, but she won’t let me have it. “It’s nothing. Trevor put it on my phone when I wasn’t paying attention.”

  “It’s a dating app,” she says, surprised. “I’ve heard about this.” She slides my phone across the table and I expect her to be mad or hurt. But I don’t see either of those emotions. Instead, she’s messing with her own phone.

  “What are you doing?”

  “Putting the app on my phone.” And there it is. Sweet Zoe is gone. She’s annoyed because she thinks I was looking for a girl. Why the hell would I do that when the one I want is sitting right across the table from me?

  “I wouldn’t waste your time,” I tell her as she waits for the program to download. “It’s not like I’d let you near any of the guys on the app.”

  “There you go again. Being protective.” She licks the cheese off her finger and it does stupid shit to my brain. “But you’ve forgotten an important fact, you’re on the app. Does that mean I can’t date you?”

  I stand up and put the empty plate in the dishwasher. “I didn’t want the app, Zo. I don’t need it. Not after last night.”

  When I turn back around, she’s blushing and playing with the bracelet I left on the bed. I wasn’t sure if she’d wear it or not. I love that something so cheap could mean so much to her.

  “Can we not talk about the sex?” she asks.

  “We don’t have to talk about it, but we should at some point. Before it becomes an afterthought.”

  “It’s just. I’m just. I don’t know.” She gets up from the table and walks toward her room, still a million miles of uncomfortable distance away. At the doorway to her bedroom, she pauses and looks over her shoulder. She wears her heart on her sleeve when she says, “It was my first time, Dylan. I’ll never forget it. Not ever.”

  Even though I don’t want another obstacle in between us, I let her close the door and give her the space she needs. Because if I don’t, I’ll scoop her up and she’ll be back in my bed. Her second time will be over before we have a chance to talk about the first.

  Since Zoe’s not ready for that, I’ll settle for her locking herself in her bedroom. I have every reason to believe she’ll spend most of her time sorting through what we did.

  Even if it makes her uncomfortable, she’ll see me every time she closes her eyes.

  She’ll feel us.

  And that’s all I need.

  Zoe

  Shutting the door and putting a wall between Dylan and me isn’t easy. But nothing compares to the dread that crept up my spine when I saw the dating app on Dylan’s phone. The only thing that kept me from losing my mind was him telling me that he didn’t need the app. Not after last night.

  I’m relieved he doesn’t regret sleeping with me, but as long as that app’s on his phone, what’ll keep him away from temptation? Hundreds of single girls are a click away.

  The app’s been on my phone for all of ten minutes and I can’t keep my finger from pressing the little icon on the screen. Until I see for myself what Hooked Up is all about, I won’t be able to concentrate on anything else. How’s that for a double standard?
>
  After I create a screen name, I scroll through some of the members. There’s no doubt some of the guys are hot, but I’d be uncomfortable starting a conversation with any of them. That is until a message pops up on my screen from Colby Dick. Clever.

  Colby Dick: Are you a washing machine?

  Dr. Zoe: Um, nope.

  Colby Dick: Damn, cause I wanna fill you with my load.

  After the initial shock wears off, I laugh. There’s no chance I’m messaging him back, but hey, if that’s the line he uses to get girls to notice him, then he should expect some spectacular responses.

  Another message follows from someone new and before I accept, I brace myself. I’m glad I do because it’s worse.

  Happy Harry: I think I’m sick, Doc. I need you to sit on my face.

  I don’t want to know why, so I just move on, but not before blocking Happy Harry.

  Just as I finish with him, another pops up. One that’s tame in comparison.

  Get It: Hey, baby.

  Dr. Zoe: Hi.

  Get It: Sex?

  Dr. Zoe: Female.

  Get It: Sex?

  Dr. Zoe: I’m a girl.

  Get It: Sex?

  Dr. Zoe: Is your phone stuck?

  Get It: Sex?

  Dr. Zoe: I have boobs!

  There must be a language barrier, so I close out the chat and forget about that guy.

  The next message stumps me, so I sit and stare at the screen, wondering what it could mean.

  Bubba: What has seventy-five balls and screws old ladies?

  Dr. Zoe: I have no idea.

  Bubba: Bingo!

  I’m so thankful it’s not disgusting or sexual that I crack up laughing. So far, Bubba isn’t like the others, and it’s a nice change of pace.

  Dr. Zoe: What else do you have in your arsenal?

  Bubba: Is that doctor talk for asshole?

  Dr. Zoe: No, it’s a word. And nobody likes that hole. If they say they do, they’re lying.

  Bubba: Wrong hole is a matter of opinion.

  Dr. Zoe: Okay, whatever you say. Anything else before I go?

  Bubba: Christmas trees are like boobs.

  Dr. Zoe: Why?

  Bubba: Fake ones are nice to look at, but real ones are better.

  Dr. Zoe: How old are you?

  Bubba: I’m in my thirties, but it’s not much different from my twenties. I just make all my bad decisions before midnight now.

  Considering it’s before midnight, I think this is a good time to say goodbye to Bubba.

  Hooked Up is what I thought it was—a sleazy dating app that focuses on sex. It’s not where I’ll find my dream guy, and I pray it’s not where Dylan thinks he’ll find his perfect girl.

  My finger is hovering over the uninstall button when another message sneaks through.

  Double D: Hey, gorgeous.

  Dr. Zoe: Double D? Does that mean you have a big rack? Because I’m straight.

  I hear laughter on the other side of the wall and my heart sinks. What if Dylan’s on the app, hitting it off with some girl? The girl. The one who is moments away from changing his entire world.

  Double D: I’m a guy.

  Dr. Zoe: Aren’t you going to impress me with offensive opening lines?

  Double D: Nope. Don’t need them.

  Dr. Zoe: You’re naturally smooth?

  Double D: Consider me Prince Charming.

  Dr. Zoe: Then what’s up with the screen name?

  Double D: My first and middle name start with a D, that’s all. Promise.

  Dr. Zoe: What are you doing tonight? If you say masturbating, I’m deleting this app right now.

  Double D: I’m thinking about a special girl. One who gave me something pretty important last night.

  Dr. Zoe: Yeah? She sounds nice.

  I’m new at dating, but the last message is too much of a coincidence for it not to be him. I slide out of bed, and tiptoe into the hallway, hoping Dylan’s door is open.

  He has it cracked just enough that I can lean my head against the wood and see him on the bed. He’s lying in my spot with his phone in his hands.

  He’s definitely Double D, but I don’t want to go inside his room yet. I’m too curious what else he has to say. And if I’m being honest, it’s a lot easier to talk over chat than face to face. When I’m close to him, everything changes. I don’t see my best friend anymore. I see a guy who could be so much more, who already is so much more than a friend.

  Double D: She’s evil. I’m a little scared of her.

  Dr. Zoe: You should be.

  Double D: Yeah? She’d be mad if she knew I was sending these messages.

  Dr. Zoe: Only if you were flirting. She’d have to do something evil if that was the case.

  Double D: Like what?

  Dr. Zoe: She’s seen you naked and you’ve had sex. She could think of something.

  Double D: I never told you we had sex. She won’t even talk about it.

  Dr. Zoe: No? Maybe it was bad. How was it for you?

  Double D: Terrible.

  Gasping, I cover my mouth with my hand. I’m so mad, I kick the door open with the toe of my slipper and reveal myself. “Dylan David Turner, you better start talking. And why are you messing with me on this stupid app?”

  He tosses his phone on the table next to the bed and laughs. “I had to get you in here.”

  “Why?”

  “Because I can’t take you walking away with that look on your face.”

  “What look?”

  “The one you’re wearing right now. Like you know what you want but you’re too afraid to say it. I just want you to figure out how you feel.”

  “How do you think I feel?”

  “Confused. Tempted. A little tortured.”

  “How do you know that?”

  “Because I feel the same way.”

  “Sorry.”

  “Don’t be sorry, Zoe. Just talk to me. I hate that you look like you lost your best friend.”

  I lick my lips, my eyes slowly roaming his bare chest. He took his shirt off on purpose. To distract me with all his muscles. “Did I?” I ask him.

  “Did you what?”

  “Did I lose my best friend?”

  He blinks twice before opening his mouth and then shutting it again. “Lose me? That’s why you didn’t come home all day?”

  I nod and look away because it’s easier than seeing the truth in his eyes. “Dylan, I know I made the first move last night, so this is nobody’s fault but my own. The medicine made me fly, and it took me straight to you. I’m glad it did because I wouldn’t have done it on my own.”

  “But you wanted to?”

  “Yes, I wanted to. I want there to be more, but I realize sex may have been enough for you—that it’s all you could be looking for.”

  “Jesus, Zo,” he whispers, running his hand through his hair. “What do I have to do?”

  “Nothing. I don’t need anything in return.”

  “How do I get you to see me?”

  “I see you, Dylan. Even more when your shirt is off.”

  He doesn’t want to, but he laughs and shows off those dimples of his. “Do you want me to put it back on?”

  I think about it for a second, mostly because blurting out “no” would make me look incredibly desperate. “You can keep it off,” I whisper as my face reddens.

  “Come here, baby.”

  Those four little letters pack one powerful punch, and I do as I’m told. “I’m sorry I ran from you today. I’m just trying to remain realistic so I don’t get hurt.”

  “Don’t apologize. Just get in here.” He pulls the blankets back far enough for me to slip underneath them.

  Before I realize what’s happening, his hands are on my waist and I’m lying on his side of the bed, almost on top of him. He places my head on his pillow and slides closer until we’re nose to nose. “What are we doing, Dylan?”

  “I’d call this cuddling. And I’ve never been much of a cuddler.”

 
“You’re not? But you fell asleep holding me last night. And you always let me lean against you on the couch.”

  “It’s different with you, Zo. Always has been. Always will be.”

  Nose splint and all, he still looks at me like I’m the prettiest girl he’s ever seen. “I met a few creeps on Hooked Up.”

  “Why’d you go on? Doesn’t seem like your kind of thing.”

  “Because jealousy is vicious. I’m deleting the app. The guys were disgusting.”

  Dylan brushes the hair off my forehead. He’s done it before, but this time, it’s more personal because of how intimate we were last night. “What do you want, Zoe?”

  Shrugging, I tell him the truth. “There’s no checklist this time. I couldn’t sum you up on a chart or a list if I tried. Words wouldn’t do you justice.”

  “So, I’m what you’re looking for?”

  “That’s not a fair question. You’re my best friend, Dylan. Of course you’re what I want in my life.”

  “I can say the same about you. But look beyond our friendship. Do you see more for us?”

  “I do and that’s why I’m petrified,” I finally admit out loud. “I’m scared I’ll lose you if we break up, but I’m scared I’ll lose you if we don’t try.”

  He grabs my leg and hooks it over his hip. Inching forward, we’re as close as two humans can be without going all the way. “I’m not going anywhere, Zoe. You’re where I want to be. You have nothing to worry about.”

  “I don’t want us to change.” The emotion of the day all hits me at once and my chest tightens. “If I say yes to you, I’ll never want to leave. I’ll stay right here where it’s comfortable and safe because you’ll do anything to make me happy.”

  “And that terrifies you?”

  I can tell he doesn’t understand. I don’t either, but I have to make him see it from my point of view. “Because we’re both so young, we could screw it up before we’re old enough for marriage and kids. We’ll end up hating each other and lose our friendship.”

  “Just breathe,” he whispers as he rubs his hands up and down my back. “You’re free to fly. I’d never hold you back and I’d never break your heart. You can have anything you want.”

  “Including you?”

  “You’ve had me for years, Zoe.” Wrapped up in Dylan’s comfort, surrounded by his heart, I’m positive I love my best friend as more than a friend.