Miss Demeanor

by Beth Rinyu

  “Well, I’m out of here.” I stood up.

  My uncle gave me a curt nod, still a little flustered over the recent conversation. I gave him a reassuring smile, which was the best I could do to put his mind at ease that I would do my best to deter Rose from whatever it was he didn’t want her digging up.

  Chapter 45

  ___________________

  Rose

  I CRUMBLED THE BUSINESS card in the sweaty palm of my hand before sticking it in my coat pocket. I knew I shouldn’t have been here, and I knew if Alex found out who I was meeting, he’d be more than just angry with me. But I needed to know. I remembered my aunt’s face that night, when I’d asked her if she’d ever had her heart broken. Her expression said it all. All this time, I was thinking she had a thing with Mr. Andrews in the past. What if it was this guy instead, and what if this guy was available, and she was able to get a second chance? I’d be giving her the best birthday by reuniting her with her one who got away. Of course, I was less than thrilled with the way I had to go about finding out this information, but as far as his son knew, I was here on business, and not for anything more. At least, that’s how I tried to come across in my phone call to him.

  “Hello, Rose,” he greeted with a self-righteous grin as I approached him at the bar.

  “Oh, hello.” I forced a smile back.

  “I was getting worried. I’m leaving to go back to London soon, and I hadn’t heard from you. I was beginning to think I lost my touch.”

  “Lost your touch?”

  “You’re here, aren’t you?”

  “Yeah…but…” My mind started going a mile a minute. When I called him, I had told him I wanted to talk about the magazine, but I was so wrapped up in prying some other details out of him, I didn’t even think of what business-related matters we’d discuss to make it look legit.

  “Rose, it’s okay, you don’t have to make excuses. This is the perfect setup. I’m leaving in a few days, so I’ll be history, and you don’t have to worry, I won’t tell your boyfriend. Now, what will you have to drink?”

  I shook my head as the guilt over being here alone with him washed over me. For some reason, he was a sore subject with Alex, and the only thing I was doing by not telling this guy the real reason I was here was intensifying the blow to Alex if he were to find out. “I don’t want anything. I didn’t come here to have a drink with you. I didn’t come here to talk business, and I didn’t come here to hook up with you. I’m very much in love with my boyfriend who’d probably never forgive me if he knew I was here with you right now.”

  “That makes it all the more fun.”

  “Look, I’m not interested in you! Not in the least! I came here tonight to find out…” I pulled the photo from my purse and placed it on the bar. “This man in this picture…is he your father?”

  He picked it up and examined it closely. “Where’d you get this?”

  “It was with my aunt’s old photographs. That woman in the picture is her, and I was just wondering what their connection was back then.”

  He let out a sarcastic chuckle and eyed me up as if he was seeing me for the very first time. “And why do you care? Obviously this photograph was taken years ago. What are you trying to do, rekindle a lost love?”

  “No, I didn’t say they were in love. I thought maybe if they were old friends then—”

  “My father doesn’t need any more friends, old or new, and the same goes with old lovers. He’s in love with my mother and has been for the past thirty years.”

  He had answered two of my questions with one answer. He was happily married and had been around the same time that picture was taken. So, chances were, they were just friends or acquaintances at best. He took me by surprise when he abruptly stood up and put on his coat, snatching the picture from the bar and placing it in his pocket, then walking away without saying a word. I sat there for some time, trying to figure out what had just happened. Why did he leave in such a hurry? Was he so full of himself that he had to throw a little hissy fit over my rejection? I pulled out my phone and was feeling guiltier by the second when I found a missed call and text from Alex.

  Alex: I got done working earlier than expected. I was hoping to take you out to dinner before I leave tomorrow. Call me.

  A wave of nausea overcame me, thinking about what I’d just done and how it could have potentially jeopardized my relationship with Alex. Was I so caught up in playing matchmaker to everyone else that I was willing to risk the best thing in my life?

  “What can I get you to drink?” the bartender asked, breaking me from my inner turmoil.

  “Oh, nothing. I was just leaving.” I stood up and started to text Alex back but decided to pay him a surprise visit instead. I needed to see him and tell him where I was tonight. I knew he’d probably be pissed at me, but I couldn’t keep this from him.

  By the time I reached his place, I was wanting to bust. I needed to get this out and have him get angry with me, so then we could work it out and move on. I knocked on his apartment door, still not able to halt my apprehension when he answered with his hair still wet and wearing nothing but a towel around his waist.

  “Wow, this is a surprise.” He smiled, opening the door farther as I took a step in. He leaned down and placed a kiss on my lips. On a normal day his towel would’ve been ripped off him and we’d already be having sex, but my unease over the fight that likely loomed once I spilled my guts was weighing heavily on my mind.

  He kissed me again, this time with a little more vigor. I kissed him back just as eagerly before stopping myself. I had to get this out before we went any further. The last thing I wanted was for him to think I was using sex to soften the blow.

  “Alex, I need to tell you something.”

  He backed away and stared down at me, clearly picking up on my anxiety.

  “Okay, let me get dressed really quick.”

  I nodded and stepped into the kitchen and got a glass of water, hoping to ease my churning stomach as I prepped for our first major battle. I took a sip and inhaled deeply. Trying my hardest to settle my nerves, I picked up the magazine on his counter and dropped all his other mail underneath it in the process. As I bent down to pick everything up, something caught my eye—a wedding invitation. My hands shook as I scooped it from the floor and keenly read it over.

  Mr. Brock Donavan & Miss Alicia Frost request the honor of your presence…

  This had to be some sick joke. The churning in my stomach intensified as I stood up on wobbly legs, never taking my eyes from the name printed on the invite.

  “Okay, so what’s up?” Alex asked, stepping into the kitchen, fully clothed.

  “Brock Donavan?” My voice faltered.

  He gazed at the invitation in my hand and let out a frustrated breath. “Rose, I’m sorry. I know—”

  “You know what, Alex? That you and your friend went out of your way to play this sick joke and make me look like a fool?”

  “No.” He feverishly shook his head. “That’s not how it happened, or at least not what I wanted to happen.”

  “Oh. Okay. It’s not what you wanted to happen, so I’m supposed to just forget all about it?”

  “Please, Rose, just let me explain.”

  “There’s nothing to explain, Alex!” I snapped. “You made a complete and utter fool out of me!” I wiped the tears rolling down my face with the back of my hand. “I’ll never forgive you for this!”

  “Rose, please listen to me.” He inched closer, and I looked away.

  Finally finding the courage to look at him, I concentrated on his eyes that were a shade of green I’d never seen before.

  “No, I warned you about lying to me.” I looked down at the floor and shook my head. “And you know what’s even worse? I came here tonight to tell you something I was beating myself up over. Something I couldn’t bear to keep from you for even five minutes, and here you’ve kept this from me for months, and probably forever if I hadn’t seen that invitation. The same way you would’v
e kept the fact you were married from me if your ex-wife didn’t show up and spill the beans.”

  He raked his hand through his hair and looked away. “I know it was wrong, but I wanted to tell you.”

  “Then why didn’t you?” I snapped.

  “Because you—”

  “Because I what, Alex? Because I would’ve thought you were a total asshole for doing it? Well guess what? You’re right! Not only do I think you’re an asshole, but you’re a liar, and we’re…over.”

  His eyes widened. “Rose, don’t do this,” he whispered.

  “I didn’t do anything, Alex. You did!”

  I grabbed my coat and purse, needing to get away as quickly as possible. He clutched my wrists, pulling me toward him just as I reached the door.

  “Don’t do this, Rose,” he pleaded.

  Tears pricked my eyes as he tried to break down my resolve.

  “Let me go!” I demanded.

  “No! I can’t let you go because…I love you.”

  It was like a dagger straight through my heart. Just an hour ago, I would have repeated those words back without hesitation. Now, I was too angry and too hurt to ever think of saying them to any man again, thanks to him.

  “Well, you shouldn’t love me, because right now, I don’t like you at all.” My stomach clenched from the look of pain on his face.

  He obeyed my wishes, removing the grip he had on my wrists and setting me free. Free to walk away from the one and only person to whom I’d ever had such an intense connection. Free to go on with my life and forget everything we had together. Free to never trust any other man again, because the first and only man I had ever loved broke my heart into a million pieces.

  Chapter 46

  ___________________

  Alex

  MY BODY WAS ON a fishing boat somewhere in the ocean off Costa Rica, but my mind and heart were still in New York. I was absolutely miserable but trying my hardest to pretend as if everything was okay in front of my father. I hadn’t told him anything that happened between Rose and me, so I put on my best smile when inside my heart was torn to shreds.

  “I think I could retire here easily,” my father said, taking a seat next to me and handing me a beer.

  “Yeah, it’s pretty nice.”

  “Of course, I’d never get your mother to agree to it, but I can dream.”

  I nodded and feigned a quick chuckle.

  “So, when did you guys break up?” my father asked, taking a long, slow pull from his beer bottle.

  “What?”

  “You’ve been moping around since we left, checking your phone constantly, and you haven’t mentioned her name once.”

  I rubbed my hand down the side of my face. “I screwed up.”

  “In what way?”

  “I just kept something from her I shouldn’t have.”

  “That doesn’t seem like it’s grounds for a breakup.”

  “Yeah, well, it is when it was the second major thing I kept from her.” I sighed heavily, wishing I could go back in time and do things differently.

  “Do you love her?”

  I stared out at the mass of bright blue ocean in front of me and nodded.

  “When you get back you need to tell her that.”

  “I did, Dad. She doesn’t want to hear it.”

  “Make her listen. Don’t just give up. Make her see you’re truly sorry for whatever it is you’ve done.”

  “I’ve apologized to her and will always regret what I’ve done, but maybe I don’t deserve to be forgiven by her. She’s a great person who’ll always be my biggest regret, and if I could go back and do things differently I would. But I can’t. The same way I can’t go back and redo a lot of other mistakes in my life. Ones that turned me into this bitter, nasty person I was not too long ago. One who even I couldn’t stand being around until Rose came into my life and changed all that. She made me see things so differently. I wasn’t numb anymore. I know better than anyone that sometimes second chances are hard to come by. So, my greatest punishment in life will be that someone as caring and loving as Rose, someone who I had fallen so hard for, is no longer in my life. That’s my burden to bear, no one else’s.” I took a swig of my beer, hoping we could veer off this topic.

  “That’s bullshit!” my father shouted.

  Gauging from his response, that wasn’t going to be happening. “We’re given second chances every single day. Our family is the perfect example of that. You’re walking again after your injury, your mother beat her cancer, and…” He paused for a moment, his eyes glazed over with emotion. “And me getting a second chance with your mother.”

  “A second chance with what?” I crumpled my eyebrows.

  He stared out at the sea, his face deadpan when he shifted his attention back to me. “I had an affair,” he whispered.

  My eyes widened. If he was telling me this to try and make me feel better about my situation, he was doing a pretty shitty job. “What?” I snapped.

  “Yeah,” he muttered, redirecting his gaze straight ahead.

  My stomach churned. My entire life I knew my dad could be a dick at times but never unfaithful. If anything, that was what I admired the most about him, his ability to be such a good husband to my mother. Now he had ruined that image completely. “Why are you telling me this? Do you think this is gonna make me feel better or something? Because really, all it’s done is pissed me off more…at you.” I raised my voice.

  “I know.” He nodded. His tone was calm and even, like someone who was readying themselves to take an emotional beating to repent for their mistakes.

  “How could you have done that to her?”

  “Alex, there were a lot of things that happened in our marriage. Things between just your mother and me. Yes, for the most part we’ve had the perfect marriage, and now we do once again. But it was tough there for a while. Every time you’d go away, she’d become more and more distant. She shut down and stopped living. It was like she was preparing herself for something to happen to you. She’d cry every day. The phone would ring, and she’d hold her breath until she knew for certain who was on the other line. Nothing I could do would break her from it. I begged her to go talk to someone, so she could cope a little better, and she refused. Instead, she slipped farther and farther away from us.”

  “So, what are you saying, you cheated because of me? That’s a real good one, Dad! You couldn’t deal with your wife’s depression, so you go fuck someone else!” I shouted, causing some of the other people on the boat to look our way.

  He nodded in the same calm fashion as before. “Yeah, that’s exactly what I did, and I’m owning responsibility for it. I’m not making excuses. It was shitty, and it shouldn’t have happened. But it was a mistake. I could’ve chosen to let your mother just walk away, but I loved her too damn much.”

  “If you loved her so much then how could you cheat on her?”

  “That’s a question I ask myself every single day, and I still don’t have the answer.” His eyes filled with tears. It was the first time in my life I’d ever seen him cry. The closest he’d ever come was when I’d first woken up in the hospital after being hurt.

  I closed my eyes, trying my best to put things in perspective. This was between him and my mother, and if she chose to forgive him, then who was I to allow my anger to fester.

  “I-I don’t know what you want me to say,” I muttered.

  “I don’t want you to say anything. It’s something your mother and I kept between ourselves, but I want you to see that if your mother was able to forgive me for that, then surely Rose will be able to forgive you for whatever it is you’ve done. If you really do care for her the way I think you do, don’t give up on her.” He patted me on the shoulder before standing up and walking to the other end of the boat.

  Rose was so stubborn, and it wasn’t going to be an easy battle, but she was definitely worth putting up a fight for. I debated on whether I should call her or wait until I was home in two more days and do it face-to
-face, when another idea came to mind. I knew it was a risk, but I had nothing else to lose and so much to gain.

  Chapter 47

  ___________________

  Rose

  “ROSE, ARE YOU SURE you’re going to be okay?” Marisa asked as she was getting ready to head to her morning doctor’s appointment.

  “I’ll be fine. I have so much work to get caught up on. I’m just gonna hide out in here and probably won’t even see him all day.” The truth was, I was far from fine. I had been sick to my stomach and cried for three days straight. I put on a strong front to Marisa and Lucy while falling apart to Aunt Kate. I knew Marisa and Lucy were on to my act, my swollen eyes each morning were a dead giveaway, but they never let on that I was anything less than stoic over the whole situation. The last few days he’d been away were definitely hell, so I could only imagine what coming face-to-face with him today would bring.

  “Okay, I’ll be back in an hour or so. Do you need anything while I’m gone?”

  “Nope, I’m good. Just close the door so I don’t have to see anyone.”

  “You bet.” She flashed me a reassuring smile, closing the door behind her.

  I tried my hardest to concentrate on work, but Alex was the only thing on my mind. The same way he’d been for the past three days. I could avoid him all I wanted, but it was inevitable we were eventually going to come face-to-face. Then what? I stood up and stared out my office window, trying to come up with a solution, and the only one I could think of was to leave this company. I could go back home, but I really liked New York. I had gained such a massive amount of experience in such a short time here, so there was no doubt in my mind I’d be able to find work elsewhere. Getting over the job wasn’t the problem, it was getting over Alex that was going to be the hard part.