Truly, Madly, Deeply

by L. S. Scott

  “Don’t look at him Natalie. Don’t give him the satisfaction,” he said, pulling my face around to look at him. “Come on.”

  He jumped the fence and took my hand, leading me back to the parking lot, unconcerned about who might be watching. By the time we reached the truck, two cop cars with flashing blue lights were positioned around it so he couldn’t pull out. He leaned down and kissed my cheek.

  “I love you baby,” he said softly, before approaching an officer with his hands in the air.

  The officer leaned him over the hood of the car and frisked him as they read him his rights. He was cuffed and put in the back of the car while I stood watching in complete shock. A crowd had gathered in front of the school to gawk and the windows were filled with curious faces. I felt an arm wrap around my shoulder and turned to bury my face as Tiffany hugged me tight.

  I snapped my head up when I heard my phone ringing in my truck just a few feet away. I ran to answer it.

  “Janna thank God. They took Jaron away,” I sobbed.

  “Who?” Her voice was sharp.

  “Cops. They arrested him, at the high school.”

  “Okay, Natalie. Calm down. I’m on my and I will call Greg.”

  “Okay, should I come,” I asked, not sure what to do with myself.

  “No, go home or go to Tiffany’s. You don’t need to be at the jail.”

  “Okay,” I agreed.

  Tiffany left school with me and spent the next few hours trying to console me, but I was inconsolable. A million bad scenarios ran through my head. Would they charge Jaron with something? Would he go to jail? For how long? And it was all my fault. I should have controlled myself and not let him know the other half, the worst half of the story.

  The hours moved like molasses. It was six in the evening and there had been no word. Six in the evening and I wasn’t home sitting at the dining table with Jaron. Tiffany was trying to talk me into eating but I refused. I was working up to my third break down of the day when the door-bell rang. I flew to it and opened it, ready to jump into Jaron’s arms. My heart fell when I saw Janna standing on the porch. I crumbled.

  “Natalie, it’s okay sweetie,” she consoled, reaching out to wrap me in a hug.

  “Where is he,” I asked tearfully.

  “He’s in county lockup. He asked me to give you this.” She handed me a folded piece of yellow legal pad paper. I took it slowly, staring at her wide eyed.

  Natalie,

  I’m ok. I need you to stay put. Stay with Tiffany. And don’t go back to school until I get home. I know you can’t quit school and that’s not what I’m getting at. But give it a day. I’ll just feel better knowing you won’t be running into anybody. It’s hard for me to be in here and you out there. I’m sorry baby, sorry I lost it. I’ll see you soon.

  Truly,Madly,Deeply,

  Jaron

  I looked at Janna with tears in my eyes, confused and scared. “How long will he have to stay in there?”

  “He will have to stay until tomorrow. After they set his bail, he can bond out. He’ll be home tomorrow, I promise,” she said, stroking my hair.

  She held me at arms-length and looked me in the eye; they pierced through me, just like Jaron’s. “I have to warn you, he’s very upset, with both of us. The first thing he asked me was if I knew, about Jason teaching at the high school. I did know. I didn’t know you were in his class, but I knew he was here. I was just afraid to say anything to him; because I was afraid something like this would happen.”

  I stared back her, speechless. “I understand completely why you didn’t say anything, but he doesn’t. He feels like it’s his job to protect you, he doesn’t understand that you feel the same way. You just have to be honest with him and let it sink in.”

  I just nodded, lip quivering. “If you’re ok, I’m going to go. You should try to get some rest. He’ll expect you to be here and he’ll make a bee line for you as soon as he’s out, okay?”

  “Okay,” My voice was small and mousey compared to Janna’s strong composed demeanor.

  I stood on the porch and watched Janna drive away, until Tiffany wrapped an arm around my shoulder and led me inside to force feed me macaroni and cheese. After dinner and a hot bath, I filled Tiffany in on all the details.

  “Wow, Nat, that’s pretty messed up. But, I gotta say, Jaron’s approval rating just went up in my book. To go up in the middle of football practice and clock the coach in front of everybody, he really does love you.”

  “Yeah, he does,” I said half whispering.

  I was up with the sun. Showered and dressed in some of Tiffany’s sweats, I watched the minutes drag by. After ten, the door-bell rang. I ran to the door and jerked it open. All the breath left my body when I saw Jaron standing there with his hands in his pockets. He was still wearing the same clothes. His jeans were grass stained at the knees and there was a small amount of blood on his gray t-shirt, that was not his own.

  I paused for a second, Janna’s words running through my head, he’s upset with us both. He pulled his hands out of his pockets and reached for me, pulling me tight to his chest. I melted into him.

  “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry,” I cried.

  “Sshh, its okay. Get your stuff. I wanna go home,” he said without pause.

  “It’s in the truck already,” I said.

  “Then let’s go,” he said, pulling my hand.

  I leaned in the door, “Tiff I’m leaving,” I yelled.

  “OK, bye. Call me,” she answered back, no doubt eavesdropping since the second I answered the door.

  We drove in silence and my anxiety grew as we neared home. He ran his thumb across his bottom lip, staring straight ahead, taking a deep breath from time to time as if to clear out the bad thoughts.

  He went straight to the shower, still not speaking. I curled up on the bed and waited. My eyes followed him through the room admiring as he stood at the dresser and slipped on a pair of soft, faded Levis. They were my favorite. They hung so low on his hips. He crossed the room, not bothering with a shirt and set beside me on the bed, his back to me, and his feet on the floor. His broad back expanded further with a deep breath before he looked down at me. My body was so tense; I could barely push the air in and out of my lungs. With his finger-tips, he brushed the hair away from my face and tilted my chin up with his finger to see my eyes.

  “You should’ve told me,” he said quietly.

  I swallowed hard. “I know. I was scared of what you would do.”

  “You were dishonest with me. You know how I feel about lying.” His eyes seared through me.

  “I didn’t lie,” I said, trying to defend my actions.

  He rolled me over on my back and leaned over me, a hand on each side of my body.

  “You purposely kept it from me. A lie by omission is still a lie, Natalie you knew I would want to know if you were spending an hour every day with the bastard that raped my sister.” His jaw clenched tight at his own words. He took another deep calming breath.

  The tears started to well in my eyes. “I’m sorry,” was all I could say.

  After a long silent moment staring into each-other’s eyes, he scooped me up and held me close. Every muscle in my body relaxed as he held me and stroked my hair and the tears fell with no hope of controlling them.

  “It’s alright baby, I’m not mad at you. Just don’t ever keep something like this from me again. I can’t protect you if you keep things from me.”

  I nodded, unable to speak through the sobs. We sank into the bed, both exhausted from a long sleepless night, and held on tight until sleep found us.

  After dinner we discussed my returning to school and to history class. It was only a week and a half until spring break and I had only missed one day of school all semester, so we decided I would skip first period for the remained of the semester and hope that Coach Dean was back when school resumed. There were a couple of things I could do about my grade, like present my paper to the principal and plead my case that Coach Holb
rook didn’t even read it before he gave me a D-, but anything I stirred up would’ve only drawn attention to my relationship with Jaron. I chose to let it go, accept the D- and move on. I knew in my heart that if Coach Dean returned, I could talk to him about the situation, show him my paper and salvage my grade. I just had to hope he was coming back.

  Chapter Thirteen

  By Thursday afternoon, my nerves had calmed a little. I had successfully avoided any uncomfortable run ins with Coach Holbrook and no one at school said anything about the whole incident. I could feel a few eyes cut my way in the hall but nothing I couldn’t handle.

  The junior class was getting ready for the Sweet Heart Dance that was taking place that Saturday night and Mrs. Tippy let me out of last period to work on decorations. I was in the copy room, running off copies of cupids on colored paper, when I heard the copy room door click shut. I turned on one heel to see who had come in, expecting it to be Tiffany.

  “I’ve missed you in class the last couple days Natalie,” Holbrook said nonchalantly.

  His face was badly bruised at the left corner of his mouth and his left eye had a dark black ring around it with a speck of blood in the white of his eye.

  I gathered my nerve, “Nice shiner,” I smirked and turned my attention back to my copies.

  He stood silent for a second, his back against the door. “Hmph,” he grunted. “Thanks to your boyfriend’s brother in law, the prosecutor’s office won’t file charges unless I push it.”

  I made no effort to conceal my disgust as I turned to scowl at him.

  “If I do, I will be sure to press the issue of Jaron Blake having sex with a minor. Your boyfriend will be a registered sex offender for the rest of his life,” he hissed and smiled smugly.

  My heart dropped into my stomach. His smile widened deviously at my discomfort.

  “But you have an opportunity to prevent that. His fate is in your hands.”

  His eyes roamed my body several times before returning to my eyes. He took a deep breath and shook his head, grinning.

  “Mmm,” he grunted. “It’s your choice,” he shrugged. “I’ll be in my office till 6:00 tomorrow evening. If you don’t show, I’ll see the prosecutor first thing Monday morning. With all the witness’s to the unprovoked attack, there won’t be a thing Janna’s little hubby can do to help him.”

  He snarled at the mention of Janna and Greg. I turned my eyes away and stared at the wall. As quietly as he came, he was gone.

  I finished the copies quickly and delivered them to Mrs. Tippy, feigning a sudden stomach ache. I hurried to the Bronco and drove toward home. I stopped at the end of the drive and stared at the house wringing my hands on the steering wheel. Several deep breaths steadied my nerves. Jaron’s words rattled around my head, “I can’t protect you if you keep things from me,” but it was him that needed protecting, and I was the only one who could do it.

  I entered the house and Jaron was standing at the sink. I paused and just watched him for a second before I shut the door. He turned and flashed a heart stopping smile at me.

  “Hey babe, everything go ok today?”

  I walked to him, smiling sweetly, “Yeah, it went pretty smooth,” I said, almost choking on the guilt and the lie.

  He caught me and held me at arms-length before I could wrap my arms around his waist. His brows stitched together and his eyes narrowed.

  “You sure you’re ok? You look a little pale.”

  “Yeah, I just got a pounding headache,” I said, pinching my forehead.

  He hugged me, kissed my forehead and immediately got me Tylenol and a Dr. Pepper.

  “How about a bubble bath,” he offered.

  Smiling weakly I nodded and watched him disappear down the hall. I heard the water filling the bathtub and I braced myself on the counter, my head hanging between my shoulders. The weight of what I had to do, crushing my heart and soul.

  “Hey, your head hurting that bad,” he asked, squeezing the back of my neck gently.

  “Yeah, it’s a bad one,” I lied.

  “Well, go lay in the tub for a while and I’ll rub your neck later.”

  I went eagerly, thankful for the refuge from his perceptive gaze, fearing he would see through me like he’s done so many times before. I stayed in the tub until the water turned cold, then I refilled it with hot water and stayed another hour. Jaron poked his head in and checked on me from time to time, then left me alone in the candle lit bathroom.

  When I finally emerged from the tub, it was a little after five. I went straight to bed and lay down, not even bothering with a t-shirt and panties. I wrapped the covers around me and prayed for sleep. At some point, Jaron set on the side of the bed and rubbed my neck and kissed my temple. For the first time, he didn’t even mention dinner.

  It was past ten when I felt him slip quietly into bed beside me. I rolled over and wrapped myself around him. I breathed him in and committed to memory the way he felt against me, the way his body heated mine, the way my cheek fit in the nape of his neck, the way the rise and fall of his chest soothed me, the way his hip felt between my legs, as I draped my leg over him. I wanted the feelings engrained deep so I could call on them to get me through what I was going to have to do.

  “Jaron,” I whispered.

  “Yeah baby,” he whispered back, turning his head to place a kiss on top of my head.

  “Make love to me,” I said, almost desperately.

  “But you’re not feeling well.” His voice was soft and concerned.

  Without another word, I reached for his hand and place it on my naked bottom. With his hand under mine, I kneaded my bare flesh and moved my hips, pressing into him. Instantly, he rolled over, trapping me beneath him. Resting on his elbows, his hands cradling my head, his lips tenderly parted mine.

  “I love you so much,” he breathed into my mouth and I swallowed his words like they were my last meal, a part of me afraid it would be the last time he spoke them.

  I walked through the school day in a trance. I had convinced Jaron to let me stay a couple hours after school to help decorate for the dance, promising I would be home before dinner and that at no time would I be alone. And I did stay and decorate for a little while, watching the clock closely. At 4:30 I left the gym unnoticed and made me way down the hill to the field house. Jaron’s face was glued in the front of my mind, fortified my resolve. I couldn’t let Holbrook ruin his life, not when I had the opportunity to stop it.

  I entered the field house and timidly knocked on the office door. It opened almost instantly. A wicked smile covered his smug face. I stepped in the office, concentrating hard on choking back the nausea and scanned the room. There was a television in the corner with game tapes stacked on top, a spare pair of football pads on the floor next to the bathroom door, a dry erase board with work out drills scribbled on it, a cluttered desk and a couch. The smell of sweat and disinfectant hung assaulted my senses.

  He watched me closely, gauging my reaction to my surroundings and walked slowly past me, letting his arm graze mine, as I stood frozen. My body recoiled reflexively. He sat down on the corner of his desk, arms crossed, one foot on the floor, one foot dangling. I looked past him staring at the letter J on the dry erase board. From the corner of my eye I saw him adjust himself and my body heaved. I covered my mouth to hold down the acidic fluid.

  “There’s a bathroom through that door,” he said coolly, apparently not unaccustomed to women being repulsed by him.

  I darted across the room and bust through the door and locked it behind me. I hugged the toilet, my body convulsing and my eyes stinging with tears. After several minutes of dry heaving, the involuntary reaction stopped. I washed my face and rinsed my mouth and stared at myself in the mirror. All I could see was Jaron’s blue eyes looking back at me and knew that he would never look at me the same again if I let that monster touch me. In that moment I knew that I couldn’t do it. I had to get out and go straight home and tell Jaron everything and beg him to forgive me.

&
nbsp; I opened the door and Holbrook still sat on the corner of his desk. He eyed me and immediately recognized the look on my face, the look that said no way, the look of a girl about to run. He stood and tilted his head.

  “I have to go,” I said curtly and breezed past him, my heart beating erratically.

  Relief washed over me when my hand made it to the door knob, thinking I was home free, that he was letting me walk out. My heart lurched when I felt his large hand wrap around my bicep. He jerked me away from the door and into his chest. An unfamiliar arm snaked around my waist and secured me against an unfamiliar body. I could feel him, already hard, poking me in the small of my back. Hot breath blew across my neck as he spoke.

  “Remember, your boyfriend’s depending on you. How long do think he’ll go away for, assault and child molestation. I hear child molesters have it pretty rough in the pin and a pretty boy like him, hmph,” he snorted. “And you, can make it all go away.”

  I swallowed hard, “You swear you will let it go if I do this?”

  “I promise that I will not go to the prosecutor Monday morning, but, I’m not sure what the statute of limitations is. I might have a change of heart next week.”

  I understood immediately what he was saying. I thrashed in his arms and he squeezed until a pain shot through my ribs.

  “You fucking liar,” I hissed.

  “Don’t fret. I promise, if you come to see me once a week until school lets out for summer break, I will leave the little prick alone. Who knows, you may like it so much you won’t want to stop then.”

  “Go to hell.” My voice was a feral growl.

  “Easy, now, the more you fight, the more I’ll enjoy it, but the less you will,” his tone was almost jovial as he threatened.

  My eyes were aflame with tears and my body jerked with sobs as his free hand traveled down my stomach to my crotch. He cupped his hand and squeezed and I arched my back to retreat from his touch but only managed to press myself harder into his erection, eliciting a stomach turning groan of approval from him. I pushed his hand away and started to scream. He covered my mouth and I bit down hard, drawing blood.